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         Parents


 

The best thing that can happen if you apologize to your child is a hug. The worst thing is to act like you. 03-Dec-2017
As soon as you admit that you helped create the "fucked up" world we live in, the faster we heal. 29-Nov-2017
Children are the future you enabled. 25-Oct-2016
Retaining empathy only for kids of your closest friends and family does not make you a better parent just a shitty human. 20-Sep-2016
Teaching your children to cook, just like potty training is a survival skill not a "special talent." 15-Sep-2016
You are celebrated at every turn. We only get celebrated when we have no voice except to scream and cry, no choice but to spit and poop and no pride to have to wait on you to feed and change me. I should be thankful? 01-Jun-2016
Mom, why are you uncomfortable when I show my boyfriend affection but I have to withstand my stepfather pouncing on waitresses and humping on celebrity wax statues; my uncle looking up my 13 year old cousin's skirt and my father joking for the millionth time on why he only married his current wife because of her ass.  "Because....it's pussy," you say. 20-Feb-2016
Mother.  What happened to the promise that you were having me to give me the better life your sperm and egg donor denied you? 19-Feb-2016
Guilt is the new "slap."  Afterall, they do look ridiculous hitting grownups. 18-Feb-2016
Mothers.  Why does dik trump kid? 17-Feb-2016
If it takes a village then why do you get offended when someone tells your unruly kid to shut the fuck up. 16-Feb-2016
Mothers especially latinas, you seem to have such camaraderie and empathy for each other though I wish some of that would spill onto your children. 15-Feb-2016
Mother.  It seems like you spend most of our time waiting for the moment you can exclaim with parental pride, "I told you so!"  Couldn't you just die waiting for God to answer your prayers? 14-Feb-2016
You shouldn't win Mother of the Year when you are the one who started the rumor. 13-Feb-2016
Not many of you are good at it.  The few that are should teach and have adults require licenses to parent. 12-Feb-2016
Folks.  I remember everything! 11-Feb-2016
If you don't tell your child what to do, someone more sinister will. 03-Feb-2016
Sometimes I think you had us just to watch us suffer. 31-Jan-2016
If you think child rearing is easy..you are not done. 24-Nov-2015
Go and do as you please, my child for I have branded you with guilt. 24-Nov-2015
You are the 1st to take credit for my accomplishments & the first to step aside when I fail. 24-Nov-2015
The only truth I want to hear from you, my child is the one we created for you. 24-Nov-2015
Hey, it's Thursday. Have to call my mom for some more brainwashing less I start acting mature or worst, independent. 24-Nov-2015
Did you know you took a lot of my choices away just by thinking it your legacy that I should be born to you? 24-Nov-2015
Shouldn't you clean up the world a little bit before you bring us into it? 24-Nov-2015
You can't even figure out the basics of the world but we must listen to you? 24-Nov-2015
You are not allowed to hate them until the last payment for college clears. 24-Nov-2015
Please don't kill my life high with your negativity. 24-Nov-2015
If you are under the belief that a child can rear itself, the apes will talk and enslave them. 24-Nov-2015
Mothers. Your son beats on women. What did you allow to happen and how did you refuse to educate? 24-Nov-2015
If homophobia is a hate crime, why are parents who kick out their underage kids not charged with it? That is the most heinous of all hate crimes. It's not the city's fault they gave up on parenting. 24-Nov-2015
Honor thy father and mother... even if they raise you with fists? 24-Nov-2015

Filed under: Musings

03-Dec-2017


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