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I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women 

 

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 34-year-old straight, male virgin. I don’t have any trouble talking to women, frequently match with attractive women on dating apps, and often get to first base. I’ve even gotten to the “finish line” a few times, even getting to fingering and cunnilingus, but between being so nervous I can’t get it up, putting my foot in my mouth, and pure terror, I’ve always screwed it up. My first time in bed with a woman (someone I’d just met at a party), at age 27, it was the nerves, but the five subsequent times, in my 30s, I guess I didn’t even know where to begin. In all but one case, I told them I was a virgin, and only once was this a specific issue for my partner. All of them were women I met on a dating app, on the second or third date, except one that I was in a two-month sort of relationship with.

I’ve noticed that I don’t find the vagina particularly sexy. Could this be an issue? I’m also uncircumcised (this is common in my part of the world), and part of me fears tearing off the foreskin.

I feel like I’m missing out on a key part of the human experience. Maybe being in love with my partner would help, but frankly I haven’t been in love in a good 10 years. Maybe I just need to be so consumed by lust that I can’t overthink it, but does that even happen? It’s even crossed my mind to visit a prostitute and get it over with, but then I think really couldn’t get it up—the thought of a partner who is likely not the least bit attracted to you is a massive turn-off to me. I’m interested in your thoughts. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.

—Frustrated

I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women

Tags: Advice, Perception, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Sex Identity

Permalink

16-Sep-2020


Texas Board of Education Rejects Lessons About LGBTQ+ Identity 

 

The Texas State Board of Education has given preliminary rejection to a plan to include lessons about sexual orientation and gender identity in the sex education curriculum, but LGBTQ+ advocates are fighting back.

The Republican-majority board last week voted down a proposal by member Ruben Cortez, a Democrat, to teach students in middle school and high school about the difference between sexual orientation and gender identity, ABC News reports. It also rejected a move to start lessons about consent in middle school, as some board members thought the topic inappropriate for students that age. A final vote will come in November.

Texas Board of Education Rejects Lessons About LGBTQ+ Identity

Indian hopes for same-sex marriage dealt crushing blow as top government lawyer claims it ‘cannot be done’

Tags: Awareness, Cancelled, Children, Education, LGBTQ, Marriage, Parental Burden, Policy, Politics, Sex, World

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16-Sep-2020


Kroger Workers: We Were Fired for Refusing to Wear Rainbow Aprons 

 

The Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, a quasi-independent agency of the federal government, is suing grocery chain Kroger, alleging that two employees were fired because they refused to wear aprons bearing a rainbow heart.

“The women believed the emblem endorsed LGBTQ values and that wearing it would violate their religious beliefs,” says an EEOC press release. The suit alleges the company violated Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, which bans religious discrimination in employment.

The two, Brenda Lawson and Trudy Rickerd, worked at a Kroger store in Conway, Ark., near Little Rock. They have “sincerely held religious beliefs that homosexuality is a sin,” according to the EEOC complaint, filed Monday in U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of Arkansas.

Kroger Workers: We Were Fired for Refusing to Wear Rainbow Aprons

Tags: Business, Court, Employment, Equality, Food, LGBTQ, Religion, Termination

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16-Sep-2020


Seven-foot robots are stacking shelves in Tokyo convenience stores 

 

Japan has the oldest population in the world, and that's causing an acute labor shortage. With almost a third of the population aged 65 and above, finding workers can be a challenge.

Increasingly, companies are turning to technology as a solution — including two of the biggest convenience store franchises in Japan, FamilyMart and Lawson.
This week, Lawson deployed its first robot in a convenience store, in Tokyo. FamilyMart trialled the same robots last month, and says it plans to have them working in 20 of its stores by 2022.

Seven-foot robots are stacking shelves in Tokyo convenience stores

Tags: Business, Employment, Future, Robot, Science, Seniors, Solutions, Tech, Training, Video, World

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16-Sep-2020


Depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy may harm childhood development, study finds 

 

A mother's depression and anxiety from conception through the first year of the baby's life is associated with negative developmental outcomes through adolescence, according to a study published Monday in the journal JAMA Pediatrics.

That could affect a lot of women: About 15% to 23% of women worldwide experience anxiety during pregnancy, while 15% deal with anxiety after childbirth. Depression through pregnancy is estimated to affect 10% of women, and 15% face postpartum depression. The burden is greater for women who are experiencing poverty or are teen parents, according to Postpartum Support International.

For the baby, the perinatal stage — which is defined as the time from conception through pregnancy (antenatal), birth and the first year of the baby's life (postnatal) — is "a time of unprecedented growth and sensitivity," the study said. That's when exposures and early life experiences may modify development starting from when he or she is in the womb to that critical first year as a growing child and onward.

A mother experiencing depression and anxiety before and after birth was moderately linked with her child's deficits in language and cognitive and motor development in infancy.

Depression and anxiety during and after pregnancy may harm childhood development, study finds

Tags: Children, Choices, Health, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Puberty, Reckless, Responsibility, Sacrifice, Training, Unruly Child, Vulnerable, Warning, Women In Charge, World, Youth

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15-Sep-2020


Is Whole Milk Healthy? 

 

America is drinking a lot more whole milk these days. Whole milk brands have had a 13% growth in sales in the first seven months of 2020 over the same period a year ago, according to the National Dairy Council. Since dairy milk consumption in general has been down year after year, an increase of a whopping 13% is rather monumental. But before you start worrying about the impact of all this whole milk to our national girth, you should know about some of the surprising benefits of whole milk.

Is Whole Milk Healthy?

Tags: Celebration, Health, Milk, Safety, Science

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15-Sep-2020


At least 24 million students could drop out of school due to the coronavirus pandemic, UN says 

 

The disruption to schools caused by the coronavirus pandemic constitutes a “global education emergency” that threatens to derail the education of at least 24 million students projected to drop out of school as a result, said Henrietta Fore, executive director of the United Nations Children’s Fund.

“At the height of Covid-19,” 192 countries shuttered schools, leaving 1.6 billion students without in-person learning, Fore said on a press call hosted by the World Health Organization and the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization. She added that now, more than 870 million students, “or half the world’s student population in 51 countries,” are still unable to return to school.

“The longer children remain out of school, the less likely they are to return,” she said. “That’s why we are urging governments to prioritize reopening schools when restrictions are lifted.”

She added that beyond education, schools around the world provide many students with a source of nutrition and immunizations.

“At least 24 million children are projected to drop out of school due to Covid-19,” she said.

At least 24 million students could drop out of school due to the coronavirus pandemic, UN says

Tags: Children, Choices, Coronavirus, Education, Environment, Fear, Health, Intelligence, Interference, Mental Health, Nature, Neglect, Outbreak, Overpopulation, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Population Control, Safety, World

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15-Sep-2020


Unhappy First Class Passenger Hands Flight Attendant Rude Note 

 

Some passengers are out of control. Just over a week ago an American Airlines passenger handed a flight attendant a vicious note, calling her a “gloried maid,” “4 eyed c*nt,” and saying that if it wasn’t for this job, she’d be “cleaning motel rooms for $2 tips and meth.” Fortunately American Airlines acted swiftly to ban this passenger.

Well, now another flight attendant is reporting that she received a note from a passenger…

Unhappy First Class Passenger Hands Flight Attendant Rude Note

Tags: Complaint, Employment, Exclusivity, Hostility, Privilege, Respect, Safety, Travel, Treatment

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15-Sep-2020


My OCD Makes Me Anxious About Being Dirty. Here's How I Have Sex 

 

People often throw the phrase "obsessive-compulsive disorder" (OCD) around as jokey shorthand for being excessively particular or high-strung, casting the disorder as a sort of innocuous, yet desexualizing, set of anxieties.

But OCD isn’t a quirk. It's a mental health condition that more than 2 percent of people experience at some point. It takes the random thoughts that flash through people's heads—that irrational fear of having done something wrong, or an unbidden, bizarre fantasy—and, instead of allowing them to quickly fade, forces them to the forefront of their minds in distressing spirals. Because these obsessions don’t respond well to reason, people with OCD develop rituals in an attempt to bring themselves relief from those anxieties. But that relief is fleeting, and people get stuck in this cycle of obsession and ritual. Many become dependent on a growing list of compulsions, which can become their own sources of anxiety and shame.

Obsessions and rituals can bleed directly into sex, as well. People with contamination obsessions often talk about fixating on the perceived dirtiness of genitals or bodily fluids and putting up hard limits on how they have sex. By some estimates, at least one in 10 people with OCD will also at some point develop obsessions about sex, constantly questioning their sexualities or worrying they might be developing harmful urges and building rituals into their relationships, their masturbation habits, their engagement with porn, to test or reassure themselves about their desires. Fears of being misunderstood—or actually dangerous—force some people with sexual obsessions to avoid intimacy altogether. Often, current or potential romantic partners who face the realities of OCD write those with the condition off as just too much.

My OCD Makes Me Anxious About Being Dirty. Here's How I Have Sex

My mother has OCD and has been in a successful, sexual relationship with my stepfather for over 40 years. He isn't OCD but acquired it for mama satisfaction. Extra body scrubs don't hurt if she's worth it. (The cheating bastard.) 14-Sep-2020

Tags: Advice, Awareness, Effect, Mental Health, Priorities, Relationships, Safety, Sex, Vulnerable

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14-Sep-2020


Bear caught on video nudging sleeping man's foot 

 

A Massachusetts man was woken up by a bear nudging his foot after falling asleep in his backyard.

Bear caught on video nudging sleeping man's foot

Tags: Animals, Environment, Nature, Video

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14-Sep-2020


Help! My Boyfriend’s Sister Acts Like I’m Her Romantic Rival. 

 

Q. My boyfriend is in a co-dependent relationship with his sister: My good friend “Mary” set me up with her brother “Jim” in January, when he moved in with her from out of state. We’ve been dating ever since. While Mary was happy for us, she was sad to not have a partner herself. So when Jim told me in March that he was going to prioritize her feelings because she was having a hard time, I understood. (By that time we were a “pod” of three, and being the third wheel can be rough.) Initially, their close sibling friendship seemed nice. But then Mary got possessive. She told me privately that they had fulfilled the emotional role of romantic partners for each other for years. She said she saw me as “the other woman.” At one point Mary asked Jim to stop texting me in the evenings so he could be more “present” when he was with her. Jim agreed that her behavior was unreasonable but said he didn’t want to change too much because Mary was struggling emotionally. Mary is in therapy and told me recently that we both need to stop making Jim “responsible” for our feelings. But I don’t think I have! I felt hurt and unsupported in the spring. I want to be compassionate toward Mary. But I suspect she and my boyfriend are co-dependent, and I want it to stop. What should I do? Or am I being selfish and I need to work on being empathetic toward my friend, who is lonely, and her brother, who is trying to support her?

Help! My Boyfriend’s Sister Acts Like I’m Her Romantic Rival.

Tags: Advice, Family, Friendship, Incest, Mental Health, Relationships, Treatment, Weird

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14-Sep-2020


The Psychology of Denying Overpopulation 

 

Let’s imagine we were giving an award for the worst social problem in the world today. Do you have any nominations?

Did I hear someone say international conflict? Racial prejudice maybe? Environmental destruction anyone? Millions of homeless refugees? Exploitation of women? Turns out there’s one problem that connects all of those, and it’s one you hardly ever hear politicians talk about.

Overpopulation may not be root of all evil, but it is indeed at the root of many of the world’s other miseries.

Just do the math. As a minimum, every additional person needs a certain quantity of food to eat and clean water to drink. Extra people could, in theory, live without clothes on their backs or roofs over their heads, but most of us would not wish for a world with more people, if they had to live homeless and naked against the elements. Beyond basic needs for food, water, and shelter, more people need more energy -- to light their homes and cook their food, and if that level is reached, they’ll be in the market for still more -- to power their refrigerators and washing machines. At moderate levels of economic development, people start to desire cell phones, big screen televisions, and cars to drive. And at the highest levels, they want second homes and vacations in far-away destinations, which they reach by flying on gas-guzzling airplanes.

One solution is to simply open our borders, to allow more of the world’s desperate people to come to the United States, England, the Netherlands, and Germany. That is the case Samantha Power made in her painful stories of the desperate people she encountered as a journalist and later as U.N. ambassador, which triggered the earlier open letter. The statistics seem to indicate that most immigrants are not criminals or terrorists, but are, compared to those who grow up in first world countries, actually more eager to work long and hard hours. Cafaro acknowledges the obvious -- that the opportunities in a first world country are substantially greater than those in a third world country. And if you are rich or middle class American, there are benefits from immigrants – cheaper labor and better bottom-lines on stock dividends (as large corporations have used the availability of cheaper immigrant labor to break unions, and drastically cut salaries and benefits for their employees). But Cafaro notes that those economic benefits to middle and upper-class Americans translate into severe costs for the poorest Americans. Middle-class people are generally out of touch with how those economic benefits to them translate into the hefty costs associated with unemployment or underemployment among African-Americans, poor whites, and native Hispanics. Many of these less fortunate groups have lost the union jobs that permitted their parents to live reasonably comfortable lives. This in turn leads to loss of health care benefits, and many other unpleasant downstream consequences.

The Psychology of Denying Overpopulation

Tags: $, Children, Choices, Effect, Environment, Exclusivity, Health, Hypocrisy, Overpopulation, Parental Crime, Politics, Poverty, Psychology, Racism, Religion, Responsibility, Saving The Environment!, Self Interest, Survival, Toxic, Warning

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14-Sep-2020


STIGMA STRUGGLE Vinnie Jones says he’s treated like an axe murderer due to his mental health problems 

 

Vinnie, 55, admitted he has struggled since his wife Tanya, 53, died last year from cancer.

He told the BBC Headliners podcast: “I hate this word mental health because I think it scares blokes — especially around my age because you’re a bit old school.

“I just don’t like, ‘Oh I’ve got mental health problems’.

"People stand back even now — ‘Oh really, what kind?’, ‘Well mine’s grief’, ‘That’s all right then, you’re not an axe murderer’.

"So I think that's quite a hard thing for blokes especially to say, 'I've got mental health problems, I'm seeing a psychologist'."

STIGMA STRUGGLE Vinnie Jones says he’s treated like an axe murderer due to his mental health problems

Many in Britain are dreading winter. Society needs a radical shift if we are to address the underlying reasons for poor mental health

Tags: Environment, Mental Health, Nature, Psychology, Support, Weather

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13-Sep-2020


Dear Abby: My plans with friend are spoiled when she’s handed her grandkids without warning 

 

DEAR ABBY: I have a serious issue with my best girlfriend. We make plans together, adult plans, and then at the last minute, her kids drop the young grandkids off for her to babysit, curtailing any plans we have together. The past few times, we have changed our plans to a “kids” activity.

I have an extremely busy client load, and I’m losing income by accommodating my friend’s time constraints, which revolve around making her husband’s lunch and dinner. Although I’m single now (I am a widow), I do understand why she has her priorities. If her grandkids are there when we have plans, she asks me to pick them up fast food on the way over — on my dime.

I have kids and grandkids myself, and they are important to me. I’m tired of being held hostage by her adult children who I feel are using her and taking advantage of the “drop-in day care” with Nana. How can I talk to her about our time being important, too? I have intentionally NOT made plans with my grandkids if she and I have plans, and I would love some reciprocity. — THROWN UNDER THE BUS

Dear Abby: My plans with friend are spoiled when she’s handed her grandkids without warning

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Entertainment, Family, Friendship, Grands, Parental Burden, Perception, Treatment

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13-Sep-2020


NASA wants companies to go dig up the moon and hand it over 

 

NASA wants samples of moon dirt for its lunar base plans and wants companies to compete on getting them and handing them over.

NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine announced Thursday the agency was opening up a solicitation to commercial companies to propose how they would collect such lunar regolith, provide images and locations of it to NASA and eventually deliver it to the agency.

NASA wants companies to go dig up the moon and hand it over

Tags: $, Discovery, Exploration, Science, Space, Study, Travel

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13-Sep-2020




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