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Movies

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Freaks (2020) Woof

It takes you to a place a superhero blockbusters rarely do. It analyzes how a superpower awakening affects everyday chores, emotions and people for better or worst. You can get yourself some cash, gain a lot of respect, kill a few people, cause a ruckus and wonder how it integrates with a personal life. The villains are born from misunderstanding and rejection. The heroes are thrust forward for its mistakes. I wish they had been granted the effects that the story aspired to but the message zapped through. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Foreign, Funny, Hot Swatch, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Timid Effects, Words Spoke

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01-Oct-2020


Cast A Dark Shadow (1955) Woof

Gigolo with big dick aspirations and doofy looks learns he can coast on rich seniors before the invention of surgery gave them a choice. He was the professional husband that made grandmas' heart's reel with the wet joys of becoming a princess again. When he misconstrues what a will is and adoringly sets his social security plan on fire, accusations, cover-ups, intrigue, psychosis, mystery, double-cross and an entertaining 90 Day Fiancee vibe without the hassles of passports or visas ensues. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 1950s, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Crime Drama, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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01-Oct-2020


Boys In The Band, The (2020) Arf

The original was about mean queens celebrating a birthday whilst eviscerating each other. The remake tones down the queen and ups the hostility and humiliation. This is a most difficult success story to digest. Jim Parsons gobbles it up like it's the last dick he's gonna suck, Charlie Carver gets to squirt but not emote, Matt Bomer exhibited his ass and it was riveting and Zachary Quinto wore an afro sheen wig. It all isn't nicety and rainbows in our community and it elaborates on it without resolving it. The black band member did not walk out when his friend uttered the "n" word towards him and he didn't walk out when he sang it to him a second time. Friends do not call each other that. It would be over. This is where you insert daddy Ryan's skewered politically correct irrationality and award a character some self-respect. It depicts the hellish parts of the gay community that is always shining in the dark and slams your head against the wall with it. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Depressing, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Life, Mean Spirited, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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01-Oct-2020


Addams Family, The (2019) Bites

Morticia was lacking the sultriness Gomez used to devour. Gomez was lacking the passion he exhibited at the most ludicrous and divine things. Wednesday could have used a little less rich girl in her voice and a lot more bitch. Uncle Fester was destroyed. Bette Midler was the only one of the group to have seen more than one episode of the tv series and gave Grandmama her unique flair. The family is constantly trying to kill or destroy each other, ad nauseam. Somebody missed the point of The Addams Family and what they constituted. They were us fighting for our place in the world from the imagination of a mad man. The writers need to apologize to the artists for making them create the angriest animated film ever. Dude, that's coming from me. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Animate, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Director Insanity, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Pretty, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Violent, Writer Humiliation

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01-Oct-2020


Hunt, The (2020) Woof

Liberal climate changers go on a bloody hunt for hillbilly bloggers. The politics are appalling, the cameos are uplifting and the action is hilariously glorious. Betty Gilpin is the wrong southern bitch to mess with. The actress maintains her anger, her snit and her kickassery. The villain kicks it with the same ferocity for the ultimate fight.

(The hair replacements were termination worthy.) 26-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Gory, Inspired, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Thriller, Twisty, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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26-Sep-2020


Guess Who's Coming To Dinner (1967) Howl

White liberal tolerance is tested when daughter brings a black man home to marry. Sidney Poitier represented the culture as a man in love with a soul of a different pigmentation that he deserved to engage with. His idea for racial harmony and hopefully acceptance, was to lay the weight and fate of the marriage on white daddy's heart. The script was respectful and contemplative, hitting points from the heart and establishing strong voices for each character. Isabel Sanford hooted as the maid who has lost control of her household and the family she wove herself into. Katherine Hepburn's use of props and legend added quotes to her character, Spencer Tracy's suffering was real, Sidney Poitier had enigmatic charisma with everybody, Dorothy Houghton was a familial delicacy, Beah Richards was luminous and Roy Glenn was growling. It's greatest case isn't about racism but a parent's fear that their child is not choosing the safest life. My favorite speech is Poitier talking to his dad about who owes who. The father who demands payment and racial solidarity for the sacrifices of rearing him or the son who wants release for a choice he didn't make? The father may limit himself by being all about black but the son just wants to be a man. 26-Sep-2020

Tags: 1960s, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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26-Sep-2020


One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975) Full Moon

There is a threshold of high mentality professionals cannot consume or understand so they isolate, daze and shun the unwell from reality thinking it will make them better but they're just keeping them away from us. The insane asylum is the "soccer mom" equation incorporated as rehabilitive juice. If you keep the child's mind busy life wont hurt it. Nurse Ratched is neither monster or killer. She represents the woman in charge who will do what it takes to chase the crazy out of these fuckers and get herself a promotion. She does her job better than any man or human. Her hate for men keeps her in check as long as she can control them. Louise Fletcher is etched in subtlety. She's discernible, rational and a doctor's prescription. Her murderous thoughts are a delirious read. She spends a short time in the film but her character wafts through every room, corridor and human being begging for a moment's joy. Jack daddy legend is in it to disrupt it and kill her perfect employment record. He is a man with ownership rights and a threat to her profession. He has no mental issues that would require him to be there except that he hates work and wants to coast in a nut house. He is chaos and destruction but not insane. He hates life but he can survive it. He will inhale only the convivial parts of it. Booze, parties, women and trouble. He pretends, he awakens, parades his heart with glee and makes a team of his followers. Jack is there to free them of their haze and enlighten them with the cool parts of reality. But sadness breaks out and explosions erupt endangering their mental situation. Jack smiles, hates the world, speaks our language, slays our speech, breaks our hearts and is one of the funniest sarcastic mother fuckers of all time. Excellent across the board. 21-Sep-2020

Tags: 1970s, Adorable, Best In Drama, Brutal, Chemistry, Classic, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Art, Drama, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Inspired, Life, Magnetism, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak

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21-Sep-2020


Midnight Special (2016) Woof

A boy special enough to kill and protect. Michael Shannon, Joel Edgerton and Adam Driver are daddy courage serving ass whippings and child protection. Kirsten Dunst inhabits a mother's sacrifice without saying a word. Solid acting sustains the probability. Little boy holds back when he should and only releases to surprise us. The theory echoed and much of the discovery is amazing. There are things I don't biologically understand but the sci-fi thrills are enough to make you forget it. (The scenario I always dreamed of played out and it destroyed my functionality.) 20-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Inspired, Music Swings, Mystery, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Violent, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-Sep-2020


Wolves At The Door (2016) Whimper

The desecration of humanity is unforgiving. In order to conceptualize fact based savagery onto film you have to be a little nuts. The film goes where Tarantino's wouldn't and exploits it. It doesn't feel like the 60s, the ladies never heard of the 60s, the boys are drunks, stoners and stoopids and the killers remained shadowed like Halloween supervillains. Giving an evil character personality does not grant them humanity. It gives us a clue who to run away from. Make it up and make it real. I was a fan of Sharon Tate and I felt her tragedy. When I read "that" book, I experienced haunts and nightmares, forever. How could people be so inhumane? If the writer brings up the question, he and the director need to answer it. If you're going to make it, let your balls hang real low so the audience can cut them. The crew has regular mental health issues but no psychosis or artistry. It's Lifetime violence with '40s flair. The opener sizzled only because nobody makes Miss Jane look stoopid. 19-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cold, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tacky, Timid

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19-Sep-2020


Devil All The Time, The (2020) Woof

The film capitalizes on the idea that a belief in God compels naivete, lechery, sexual compulsion, loss and unforgiving violence. I'm good with that but where is the soul worth saving? Films are now made out of sap or coal. Everybody loves a bitch but they're quick to die in a bubble bath of flames. That's sad. Tom Holland never does wrong and his accent is acceptable, Bill Skarsgard was not allowed to stretch his beautiful bug-eyed wings, Sebastian is now a senior fuckable memory, Harry Melling scared the It out of me and Robert Pattinson head blocked me. His accent and sound was so confusing that I pondered looking up his real voice on Youtube. Different is not necessarily great. Bad Batman villain auditions are in Building 69, building 2 is for serious actors. The women are a form for destruction. God uses them as tools to test the depths of man. It is a well-done play with absolutely no value to offer its audience. 18-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Baby Wrecks, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Porn Violence, Rapey, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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18-Sep-2020


Babysitter, The: Killer Queen (2020) Arf

Everything remembered is welcome, the leap from kid to tween is maternally sweet but the whole is missing something. A foot in reality, a step forward and a babysitter. That's what I missed. 17-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Camp, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Retread, Sequel, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Snit

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17-Sep-2020


Babysitter, The (2017) Woof

I watched it at its time but I was so smashed that the next day I couldn't remember enough to review it. Puberty boy realizes his carnal urge for queen sex is life-preserving and destructive. Samara Weaving serves Harley Quinn gusto, Robbie Amell is humdinger stripper/killer/rapist, Bella Thorne tears it like a beauty pageant winner, Hana Mae Lee slices and dices and the babies are sweet. The irrational violence is its humor and its perverted violence is its soul. The kills may be cannon but revenge is sweet. 16-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Porn Violence, Revenge, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Sep-2020


Alive (2020) Woof

Pandemic anxiety coupled with protester violence makes for a scary zombie flick. There is no delineation because the action speaks for itself. The use of modern tech to create a different outcome is brilliant, the zombies are bone crushers and the direction is tireless. The ending from nowhere different prevents greatness because the last missed a master stroke. 14-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Art, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Scary, SciFi, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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14-Sep-2020


Trolls World Tour (2020) Woof

Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Animate, Camp, Cultural, Cute, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Good Voice Act, Music Swings, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sentimental, Wit Snit

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13-Sep-2020


Star 80 (1983) Howl

The tragedy of beauty versus beast. The purpose of beauty is to inspire us. If it touches you, you are beautiful in return. It's that perfect thing that exists like a God smack to the earth. The men want to devour it, the women prefer to absorb it and forget it but the younglings want to marry it at first sight. The sculptor who attempts to shape it, before full bloom, will burn his hands on the coffin he molds around it to keep it safe. A woman will always wake up. Beauty belongs to the world not encapsulated by a man who thinks he's just as beautiful because he licensed it. Fosse snips from Citizen Kane and gives it the hutzpah the classic lacked. Fosse's mastery is beauty, movement, thrill and dash. Eric Roberts gets inside our heads and makes us understand that hot greasy ass motherfucking psycho crooked legged cowboys with great hair have feelings. Fosse resoundingly echos him. Mariel Hemingway is neither thunder or lightning. She is a cloud of beauty that doesn't need announcement. Mariel's innocence allows the tragedy to happen and unfold. It has an ending Tarantino wouldn't touch and the original footage is brutal, salacious and true. Absolutely psycho. 12-Sep-2020

Tags: 1980s, Beautiful, Bio, Brutal, Chemistry, Classic, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Political, Porn, Scary, Sexy, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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12-Sep-2020




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