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Movies

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Big Time Adolescence (2019) Arf

I was expecting a rebellious and outrageous comedy but was impressed with a calm rendition of a boy's passage to manhood. $, drugs, sex and girls are what a boy negotiates during this stage of exploration but the satisfaction of being cool with your bud is everything. Gluck, Davidson and Cryer epitomize the title and lend credence to why they don't want to grow up.The film's detachment impedes greatness but it was close. 14-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Comedy, Cultural, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Political Satire, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-Mar-2020


I Am Jonas (2019) Woof

Allowing youthful discretions to define the gay fuck-up you become in life. The boys (young and old) are peak representation and the film strives to be authentic. 14-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Foreign, Gay, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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14-Mar-2020


Farewell, The (2019) Woof

Family saying goodbye to a most adorable nana whose unaware she's dying. It is heritage that deigns not telling the patient they are terminal for fear it would exacerbate the symptoms. The Americanized part of the family are predisposed to tell because we have a need to finalize life but the elders would rather respect it by enjoying what's left of it. Awkwafina tempers the doubt, the confusion and the love as the film quietly distills it. 13-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Inspired, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Sweet, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak

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13-Mar-2020


Mausoleum (1983) Woof

Piece of shit about a Charlie's angel being possessed by a spiteful demon. The spiteful demon is a woman that accepts no bullshit from a man and punishes him for it. As she hurts no one but, I see no reason to destroy her. She's today's woman. When Bobbie Bresee's Playboy playmate regresses to her childhood trauma like Sally Field in "Sybil," it was brilliant hilarity. LaWanda Page was hilarious. A lot of the film is hilarious and ridiculous and preposterous. It's a piece of shit that entertains.

A cleanup might do it good. 13-Mar-2020

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Gory, Horror, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Political Satire, Revenge, Sentimental, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Twisty, Words Spoke

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13-Mar-2020


Deadcon (2019) Bites

A con for the social sprinters, trifling and influencers. It takes forever to kill one and when they do its not enough. Solid acting keeps you tuned. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Cold, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly

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11-Mar-2020


Apostle (2018) Whimper

Infiltrating a religious sect to save a sibling. The premise barely sustains itself and Dan Stevens' idea of macho heroism is to grunt like a gorilla and squawk like a duck. He is so inspired to erase his Downton starter that what he erects is stiff overcompensation. The only thing the film gets right is torture and a weirdly coincidental female tree. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Gory, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Political Satire, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Star Watt, Weird

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11-Mar-2020


I Kill Giants (2017) Whimper

She kills giants and she's not afraid of them but then proceeds to quiver and weep at the thought. Having little girls spew superhero corn is cringey and embarrassingly hilarious. The girl on girl was tender but the titular was a smoky abstract. I was a bit confused by the giants. Why kill something that hands such good life advice upon victory or is that the point? Are they fortune cookies? 09-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Preposterous, Sweet, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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09-Mar-2020


Stay (2005) Whimper

A vague bad trip made sillier by insignificant EFX. Even though his American accent was flawless, McGregor was clamping down so hard on his own that he lost his squishiness. Ryan Gosling hadn't found his squish yet... he was a serious actor. His blank stares were very blank. They gave little credence to Naomi Watts' character except to provide her great face at the end. 08-Mar-2020

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Bad Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Mystery, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid Effects, Unenthusiastic, Vague, Weird

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08-Mar-2020


Knives Out (2019) Arf

Whodunnits don't need explanation. A fresh appeal for a chess match. Everything with Plummer spun magnificently but Craig jacked Spacey's southern flourish with little success. The support were ready but remained pawns in a game. They didn't flesh out. The unraveling was dry and predictable but the mystery qualified. 08-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Good Acting, Grating, Inspired, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Oncer, Political Satire, Predictable, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, TV-like, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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08-Mar-2020


Villains (2019) Whimper

It's a waste of a title. Young couple break-in to a wacko family home and tables get turned. If the key to the story is madness why not explain it understandably so we can ponder it. They borrowed it, splattered it and hoped for the best. All actors were on game but Skarsgard's talent magnet pulls you in. He's an intrepid bloke. 06-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Creepy, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Retread, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Weird

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06-Mar-2020


Freaks (2018) Arf

It doesn't punctuate the title but the surroundings are trapped shut, baby bubble is dramatically shoved, pulled and pie faced into reality and the effects remind you without shaking you. It's a film that passes but makes us feel like we stumbled upon a midseason finale cliffhanger. 05-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Baby Wrecks, Chemistry, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Mat, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Political, Scary, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Mar-2020


Dismissed (2017) Arf

Daddy teach gets a woody when student overachiever dominates his classroom and his life with his reach for intellectual excellence. Dylan Sprouse objectifies exemption, corruption and the high holiness of shit. It's unfortunate that his psychology is not well drawn. Daddy does not squish sufficiently to lend credence to certain plot points but Dylan's penance almost makes up for that. 03-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Twinkie, Twisty, Writ w/Possibilities

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03-Mar-2020


Girl On The Third Floor, The (2019) Woof

Haunted shenanigans. Cocky daddy tats gets slimed as the whorehouse he's renovating turns on him. The film's second half reveals how to be worthy of it. 02-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Revenge, Suspense, Twisty, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Mar-2020


Henry Gamble's Birthday Party (2015) Woof

The chains religion affixes on its followers and the opposition it judges.

Wine is the devil's blood.. desire is for cretins... the sins fade if you invoke his word by chanting it ceaselessly and mechanically, irritating anyone who hears it... skimpy leads to lust which leads to sex and maybe some joy... gay sex is the worst of all, they punish you for that... The film juggles all of it honestly.

Where there is fire there is wood, laying underneath elevating the flames while they smolder to ash. The Leftists awaken enough to overturn an honored twink's christian birthday party.

Everyone gets heard, everyone gets fed up and some actually become what everyone else can't... themselves.
 01-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultish, Cultural, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Life, Political, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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01-Mar-2020


Best Friends (1982) Arf

Independent woman reaches high anxiety whilst reluctantly marrying her partner of five years. She believes marriage kills love and he's too venerable to start over. After a quickie marriage they embark on an in-law and family tour which reflect the weirdly mechanical influences the villagers brandish.

As much as Goldie and Burt appeared incompatible, their individual magnetism blind us into believing. Ron Silver delivers enthusiastic squishiness to the funniest bits.

It's a good companion to "Marriage Story."

It focused mainly on the topic of marriage which wears out.

The dialogue is written so we can understand them but not them, each other.

It refuses to answer its question.

It's breezy to watch. 29-Feb-2020

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Sexy, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Feb-2020




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