Errattic

Home About Us All Fuctasia_(NSFW) Games Gay+ Health/Food Movies Music Musings Photos_(NSFW) TV Wisps Preferences

Home Page > Current Page


Top Tags

1960s
1970s
1980s
1990s
2000s
2010s
2020s
Accidental Watch
Action
Animate
Art Devoid
Bad Acting
Bad Chemistry
Beautiful
Brutal
By the Numbers
Camp
Chemistry
Classic
Comedy
Comic Book
Conspiracy Theory
Corn
Creepy
Crime Drama
Cultural
Cute
Daddy Squish
Dance
Decent FX
Director's Slice
Director's Touch
Disappointment
Drama
Ear Prick
Early Exit
Elegance
Enthusiastic
Eye Gouge
False Action
Fantasy
Fatigue
Foreign
Funny
Gay
Gay Swatch
Good Acting
Great Acting
Heart Writ
History
Horror
Hot Swatch
Inappropriate
Indecipherable
Inspired
Kool Effects
Loud
Macho Posing
Manipulation
Mat
Mean Spirited
Music Swings
Musical
Mystery
Oncer
Over the Top
Political
Political Satire
Porn
Preachy
Predictable
Preposterous
Pretty
Relationships
Repetitive
Revenge
Romance
Sad
Sap
Scary
SciFi
Sentimental
Shrill Act
Silly
Squish Alert
Star Watt
Suspense
Sweet
Tacky
Tedium
Timid
Touching
Tough
Twisty
Weird
Wit Crack
Wit Snit
Words Spoke
Writ Tight
Writ w/Possibilities


Login

Create Profile
Login


This site does not claim credit for images, videos, or music, except where noted.


©2021 Errattic.com

Restricted to Adults
This site does not claim credit for images, videos, or music, except where noted.


Movies

Rating key:

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

Christmas Project, The (2016) Whimper

The adventures of future supremacists as they waft through their own battlefield of family traditions and alpha bullying. The parents are ditzoids driving their children to partake of a Christmas tradition called Elving. You leave presents on the doorsteps of needy/hopeless families everyday until Christmas. The town bullies are on the roster this year. The tween female interest cements hardons and impels macho competitions. She looks 20 while the boys look 8. Reality rarely sneaks in and there is no character to get attached to. I pictured future supremacist twink getting married in prison to his alpha bully supreme as he forever pays black fit homeless grand daddies with raspy voices for some sugar. The kindly school bus driver was black. 25-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Holiday, Mean Spirited, Tacky, Twinkie, Weird

Permalink

25-Dec-2020


Ma Rainey's Black Bottom (2020) Arf

Ma Rainey was the mother of the blues and a proud lady licker. Talent can overcome oppression and the power to give back to the community. Only a goddess can give credence to a legend. Viola is that piece of art that keeps moving and you chase her because you don't want to miss a thing which makes you see the rips. There were inflections and teeth caps that interrupted but the lady was full-on. Chad Boseman's character needed some vulnerability and a lot less JJ Walker. Colman Domingo was the man. The support beautifully did so. It's a music session in a fabulous woman's life. The theme of the session is to complain about every aspect of black tired life and to take it out on the white man. The conversations were heavy, the atmosphere was confined and there was no lingering happiness. I wanted to see the story of Ma Rainey with Viola smacking pussy and bringing the house down. I don't really know what to feel about this. 22-Dec-2020

Tags: Bio, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lesbian, Music Swings, Political, Relationships, Sad, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Permalink

22-Dec-2020


Rock-A-Bye Baby (1958) Woof

Starlet is knocked up by a Mexican bullfighter that she drunkenly married one day and literally died the next. Her career is on the upswing. Her next film is entitled "The White Virgin Of The Nile." With no recourse she turns to her childhood buddy and hometown slub to babysit her babies after secretly giving birth and whilst she makes the film. Jerry Lewis' exasperating talent is at half mast. When he lets loose we cringe, when he sings and curls his lip we bite ours. He won't let comedy be. He needs to smash it with babyface spasms and off-color perversity. He doesn't matter one bit. It's a beautiful film to observe. The music is light, the story is sweet and life was simple. Marilyn Maxwell exemplifies the Hollywood Goddesses of her time and the clothes accentuated her power. Connie Stevens was purity enchantment. It's a piece of candy I didn't want but I tried it and couldn't stop eating or talking about it. 20-Dec-2020

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Permalink

20-Dec-2020


A California Christmas (2020) Arf

A woman can't do everything. Rich Californians gobble up real estate so they can turn the future into an unscientific reality. Hot country girl can't maintain the farm, has an ailing mother and a spunky sister. Hotter rich player schemes to get her to sell him her home at an astronomical price so they can build malls or something. He infiltrates the cowgirl's pants by pretending to be a Mexican ranch hand. Hotter is a beautiful mix of Superboy eggs and Zac DNA. Whomever was in charge of casting needs to be hired for our next gay friendly Christmas preach. I don't want to see people like myself on a screen that I pay for. We want the people that God granted the gift of beauty to. He wants us to be inspired by his art. So we shall. This film pays homage to that. The music makes you want to see it again, the actors hee and haw pleasantly and chemistry kills stupidity. Ass hugging crotch enhancing jeans, hot old daddy servants, wenches, witches, lesbians, Mexicans... Manny and Ali as lovers would have been adorable. It's a crappy gorgeous joy ride. As soon as Superboy ripped a child out of a female vagina, I was in. 17-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Physical Humor, Predictable, Preposterous, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Permalink

17-Dec-2020


Space Station 76 (2014) Woof

I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.

Highlights of the future:

We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves

The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection

The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style

The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse

It's clean

There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.

A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comic Book, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Director's Slice, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Permalink

13-Dec-2020


Prom,The (2020) Whimper

When I was in high school I thought white people made up the idea of proms for the purpose of Hollywood entertainment. It wasn't until my 4th year that I noticed a prom announcement on the school bulletin board. Holy crap! Those stupid dances are real. It wasn't part of my culture and no one in my family ever met anyone who went to one. I can't celebrate the idea of adults hijacking a prom to allow a same sex couple to participate. The musical is a whirlwind of gay propoganda. I'm tired of watching gay films that suppress us into political statements. LGBTQ teens are committing suicide at hostile rates because we refuse to acknowledge that our lives suck which means they don't get any answers. Unless we start supplying our babies with ways to cope with their lives there is no celebration. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Comedy, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Manipulation, Musical, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly

Permalink

13-Dec-2020


Blood And Sand (1941)  Arf

A celebration of latino culture, the sport of bull fighting and the sacrifices for love. Tyrone Power is the bull fighting brat that thinks his past accomplishments and sexual prowess make up for his sins and lack of intelligence. His mother prays that he gets gourd by a bull so he doesn't die like his father. She also prays that his saintly new wife never gives birth to a son so she doesn't have to suffer the same damnation. Juan gets everything except the love of Jesus. Linda Darnell is a luminescent virgin whose no match for the Goddess of Hellfire. Rita was the woman whose perfection allowed her to steal anything in the proximity of her reach. When Rita lets her hair down and makes out with the husband in front of the wife we know this slut doesn't give a fuck. It's melodramatic like latin people, it's sumptuous like white people and it entertains like any good host. 11-Dec-2020

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Relationships, Sexist, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Permalink

11-Dec-2020


Holidate (2020) Arf

A platonic Aussie date for every occasion that looks good in your arms without any expectations is a guaranteed ideal. When Roberts and Bracey spar lovingly about the misery of life all is copacetic. It's only when they embrace the fairy in tale that it sours. People who hate life deserve a more realistic ending. 11-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Permalink

11-Dec-2020


Rust Creek (2018)  Whimper

Little girl with a city attitude thinks she can ruff it in the wild where dicks run free and viagra doesn't help. It's an ode to hillbilly hate, police corruption and fine young specimens in peril. Nothing works, the whole is an extension to corroborate a repetitive premise whose replacement parts don't carry on. Poor stupid girl. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mystery, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Wit Crack

Permalink

07-Dec-2020


My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Howl

Childhood friends discover they might have feelings for each other as "his" wedding approaches. Julia's star was astutely intoxicating. She reveled in being the asshole and compelled us to cheer when she realizes it. Cameron Diaz steals it by being the opposite of the woman that always gets the good man. She's adorable. If I liked girls I would eat her. The GBFF is of British cunt royalty. Its Rupert Everett, full of life and hope before the despair. Charming and cheeky he was the GBFF you can convincingly pass as a boyfriend and help your vibrator conjure up an image. Julia made me conscious of Dermot Mulroney's importance by the way she looked at him. She was studying him. I deduced him. He's the dick that looks great in Julia's glow and uprises when Cameron blows. He's that guy, she's that girl and she's that poor girl. The laughs are not a statement but a way of life, the romance is annoying but it's smart, people will never relate this way again and GBFFs don't last forever. The music made me float. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Best In ROM/COM, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Permalink

07-Dec-2020


Christmas Chronicles, The (2018) Woof

Christmas is the last time of the year when kids can be selfish. Kurt Russell makes it comfortable to sit on his lap and play with his hair. Help him blow things up and play with his hair. Accidentally (wink, wink) give him a hard-on and play with his hair. Smash on the hard-on and play with his hair. The kids are at an adorable stage, the violence is happy and Christmas got a shot in the arm. 05-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fresh, Funny, Good Acting, Hoofer's Delight, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Permalink

05-Dec-2020


Home For The Holidays (1995) Whimper

Rabid family holiday. Foster's mind is a jumble. Flamboyantly directed, fussed over and disrespected. Robert Downey Jr.'s gay brother flitted about like a crazed woodpecker perching and flapping uncontrollably to our discomfort and limited endurance. Giving a cute girl the sniffles for the entirety of a film is not romantic or sexy. It's a family home visit without the drinks. Where's the fun in that? 05-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Holiday, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack

Permalink

05-Dec-2020


Shorts (2009) Arf

It mindfucks from the beginning. It's told out of sequence and it has something to do with a gay rock that grants the grabber wishes. Unfortunately, the wishes make you see the ridiculousness in them as they come to fruition. The effects are genuinely gross and creative, the kids exceed expectations, the film is hilarious and that guy from Two and Half Men is in it and he doesn't grate. I had so much fun. 04-Dec-2020

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Director Insanity, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Kool Effects, Music Swings, SciFi, Silly, Sweet, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Permalink

04-Dec-2020


Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Arf

Parents send their tech dependent children to nature camp to enforce the value of social interaction and gain survival skills. The bootcamp is a military wasteland. It splits them into teams and focuses on hikes, challenges and camaraderie to allow them to use the tech in their brains. You can also make friends. Good ensemble pulls you in as the movie keeps taking them out. It starts to hurt a little. The threat is a mess. We like our deformed bubblies with masks on and butch gear. It's yuck and impossible to look at. The pimply hillbilly troll backstory didn't help. It was preposterous. I withstood the gore and porn violence because of the cast, the kids, the representation, the dialogue, the awkwardness, the scared lesbian, the sexual limitations of tech sex, following natural reaction protocol and because they are us. The beast is in desperate need of a glam attack. It needs Jason's virility, Michael Myers' stamina and Freddy's humor and waist. It prepares us for death by tingling other parts of our body. Ick. 02-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Gore, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Permalink

02-Dec-2020


Palm Springs (2020) Woof

I wasn't going to review this film because the idea filled me with dread. It's Groundhog's Day in a cave inside of Palm Springs. Samberg is unrecognizable and semi-fuckable, Miliotic is an easy soft serve and Palm Springs is the Hellmouth. Everyone lives by a routine in which no designated time or responsibility is accounted for. Unless an earth shattering moment occurs the repetition rarely changes. The soft serves had a bond and shared some squishiness. The story is stolen from someone's heart. Its comedy is the brutality of living a life...for too long. 01-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Comedy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Romance, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Permalink

01-Dec-2020




Previous Page Next Page