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I met my biggest celebrity crush (the guy that makes your ass twitch in excitement) in my teens on Park Avenue. He was stepping out of a limo, walking his dog, rocking those adorable little Jaws shorts with sandals when he suddenly smiles at me. Nobody wants to be a fan like Lucy but you can't be rude, so I smiled back and respected his distance. Yet, I couldn't allow my shyness to waste the opportunity for a million future masturbation fantasies. We acknowledged each other as a god and a fan, he extended his hand, I extended mine then a bird shat on me and I ran away. I remember that beautiful smile, gorgeous tan, manly everything and those cute little shorts and I kick myself. My apologies Mr. Scheider. It won't ever happen again. 15-Jun-2021