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I lived a lifetime without representation in entertainment or books. I was an enslaved child shielded from outside influences. It was always family. Friends weren't allowed. I explored a friendship when I was six. He used to come every night and we'd watch and enact scenes from The Avengers. I was finally playing with someone else, liking the same things and having fun. My sister was allowed more freedom and friends and I don't understand why. You know, Amazon shit. Anyway, by the third day my mother had had enough. "Is this going to happen every day? Oops. I didn't know. "He always stays til dinnertime and sits to eat when I've only cooked for four. I had to give him my portion. I'm not taking care of another woman's kid! I was to get rid of him immediately. It made sense. I couldn't afford a friend. Next day I spoke to him at school and told him that he couldn't come over anymore, my mother hated him and that he was a big fat pig for eating all our food. I never saw him again and my mother was very proud. I tried once again, in my tweens, for a semester with two black gay friends but it was in secret and it never panned out. In entertainment I caught glimpses of myself and that was enough. It didn't matter who represented humanity as long as they interpreted it well. God only cares about our soul. That's why he made most of us ugly. I saw enough bits to try and solve my puzzle and be who I wanted to be. A gay romantic idiot. More representation is not going to get people to like us. Being kind might. White people have been representing throughout history and it doesn't stop them from hating each other. What's going to change? Representation only matters if its organic like the vegetable. 21-Jun-2021

Tags: Myself, Representation

Filed under: Wisps

21-Jun-2021


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