All Posts Tagged as 'Romance'
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Inside The Whale
Never Have I Ever (2020-)
I never will. Mindy Kalling of much success and little discernable talent. 15-Aug-2022
Mark Ruffalo Stopped Talking to Jennifer Garner Because of Her Relationship With Ben Affleck
“I heard he doesn’t allow her to have male friends,” the host quipped before quickly backtracking.
Mark Ruffalo Stopped Talking to Jennifer Garner
Ben Affleck appears frustrated, vents to ex-wife
I would’ve ‘still’ been drinking if I’d stayed married to Jennifer Garner
He Was 'Pushed on Top of Me'
Tory Lanez shouted 'dance bitch!' as he shot at Megan Thee Stallion's feet
‘Home Alone’ Actor Is Accused of Trying to Strangle Girlfriend
Ben Affleck hires professional pooper scoopers to clean up his mess
Taxpayers are paying $250 a day to an asshole
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
My 12 year old cocksucker swallowed Hades' cum and it tasted like a raspberry margarita. Pretty boys don't need to try as hard in relationships when set up with insecure mole faces. Hercules is not that hot because he smells like a chimp. Daniel did not pass the good dick test. The horse is ashamed to admit that she was set up with a fart. Al fixed his wife by shoving his Bizarro Colin Jost dick inside her. Married women who find solace prescribing pity to a newly single newlywed are sluts. 09-Jun-2022
Hades arises from his tomb to test humanity's tolerance for truth. A woman can only fathom a dream if a gay man concocts it. Man losing his hardon for a cultural thing is a real thing. He's bald Jerry, is no longer sexually gratifying his ick. Brent is sweet to make you fat and incapable of moving when he cleans you out. Al Perkins always looks surprised to fuck. He's prettier than a boy bander and is successful in bed. That's not possible! What is his crime? A giant ear bit texan should not have to explain himself to a pretend Hillary. Maybe he hates you because you're not doing Asian right not because he hates your culture. Hades set our dicks on fire. 06-May-2022
Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020
Fire Island (2022)
It depicts our shortcomings in a sanitized environment. There is no outside telling us we suck so we are in a safe space. It paced itself naturally as not to impose. The cast was pleasantly supportive. The writing pondered some truth but resolved most of it with prom com magic. My Fire Island experience was rated XXX for rampant sex, sissy violence and "fuck you" friends. Family Shmamily. 05-Jun-2022
Savages - KERLI
Temptation Island (2019-)
The reunion was all about Lascelles' back fat troubles and man socks. Loving it! 29-May-2022
Daddy host kept rocking those skinny jeans. Yeehaw, cousin. Lascelle's back fat did not leave alone. Bizarro Lance Bass is dating an asian meatball. The guy with the hair is nothing but a hairball. His girlfriend thinks she's Diane Keaton in an award winning drama about failed relationships and killing lobsters. 28-May-2022
Lascelles' back fat jutted out of his giant torso and it was spectacular. The tip of his well crafted ass sparked memories of cracked wishbones. It was a lighter shade of his skin color. It was so wonderfully squishy. I imagined his ass sparkling in the dark. Beautiful contrast. Kittykats came to nip at homeboy but he became enraged. He only has eyes for hostile women. Two men got to see their future exes get it on with Hollywood sex workers. Mark Wahlberg attempted to bring skinny jeans back. Please let him. Girls have extensions, men need to parade what make gays swoon. It's joyful. Brains don't count. It was a black thing wasn't it. You didn't want to see it constantly. Thank God for latin TV, they are always five years behind. Back to the horny women. They were both riotous but only one moaned for more and then more. Was the fucker at his limit or was she granting him the permission to add two more inches every 20 seconds? Either way. Yikes!! 14-Apr-2022
Daddy's teeth don't work in a bonfire setting either. Okay. Some of those idiot things are melting my loins. Ack! 13-Apr-2022
Open marriages exist when one partner grows weary of the other's sex. You think? 31-Mar-2022
Mark Walberg's teeth are so white that he clashes with the sun. If you can't trust a man because he texts other girls you are Sherlock Holmes not paranoid. Fuck you, therapists! None of the boys are worth fealty. They're ack! There is some pretty ones on the Hollywood hooker side of the group but the caliber of men is very "Oscar," not deserving this year. A beast brother is rocking blue eyes and Cindy Brady curls. Ack. A guy from the Bronx is auditioning for West Side Story 2. Double ack. One of the tempted males is rocking doggy style long hair. You know, the haircut that separates the weave from your hair by curling at a non realistic point like all the females are wearing. Ghastly. 18-Mar-2022
Ex On The Beach (2014-)
It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022
Made In Paris (1966)
Ann-Margret plays a girl who advances in the fashion industry because of hard work and drop dead gorgeousness. Father and son heads offer her the opportunity to become a Paris buyer when the original gets married. Father and son dispute her capabilities but acknowledge that beauty can surpass it. Louis Jordan is the Paris client with sexual arrangements to the previous buyer. There is little proof that Margret's character impresses at her job because she spends most of her time in Paris, drinking, partying, flirting, dancing, singing and clobbering boys who want to go further than a kiss. The most beautiful boy in the world, Chad Everett, the hottest tongue in France, Louis Jordan and the slub who accepts leftovers, Richard Crenna, are the men vying for Lady Margret's baby's breath. Ann's character is written with confused sensibilities. She riles the men up then 2x4s them later. She wants to live a fantasy without all that icky stuff, like sex. The ex-buyer getting married on short notice without telling her french lover/client gets no clarification. Edie Adams was unfortunately a short lived thing disrespected in the film's best storyline. Margret dolled up in fashion chic and hit the dance floor to Count Bassie and Mongo Santamaria like a sexual beast. Edits and choreography are a mess but Lady Margret's magnitude never lets up. The fashion is creative, the only laughs are violent, the idea that a girl becomes a woman if she gets married is primitive, when men exclaim that a girl is too young to fuck, they mean right now. 26-Apr-2022
...had the audacity to sexually abuse me before putting me out of my misery. 18-Apr-2022
Ultimatum, The (2022)
Reunion. How did Nick Lachey get so pink? He looks like fried pork. I love fried pork. Sweet and sour and a dash of soy sauce. Yum. Vanessa disguises her witchcraft well. I'm almost beguiled. I get it. He's almost to the point where he doesn't remember Marvel movies. Take all his money and drop out of the hemisphere. Pregnancies are the pathway to a cheating man's heart. "He aint fucking no raptor in lingerie. No Way!" Why do bisexuals keep sneaking around? It's 2022. Are they perverts? Someone came out as a lesbian and I guessed it because the curls in her hair stopped bouncing. I knew there was something askew. Beautiful giants need to stop raging on women that record them doing what giants were born to do. It's not a giant's fault that women aren't with it. Lesbians need to stop pretending they like small cocks on giant men. Braids on a man never looked more Groot. Pretty other thing got criticized on national TV for not keeping his mate from going full lesbian. Dude, that's rough. He's so pretty. Love is the easiest thing to replace, just close your eyes...and wish it bigger. Gigolos will appear with free tickets to nowhere. 16-Apr-2022
S1E1. The quickest way to get your partner to acquiesce to children and marriage is to dump them. Works every time. They don't need to go on a stupid reality show. Isn't that what the Lacheys stated at the beginning of the show? 11-Apr-2022
The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022
Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020
The music represents the burden of being a child and the parent who never considers it. Younglings fight pain by listening to adults in pain without it causing distress or an ironic thought. Specified music with taste and glory. 12-Mar-2022
The creator drops his characters into a hole where the act of falling stops when they reach up. The actors succumbed and conquered. Z broke my heart. The writing spun out of control because that is the consequence of addiction. It pounds us with fists throughout then pummels us with pillows at the end. The season finale was a bitter "Glee" spectacle. 12-Mar-2022
Misfits are created when the understanding of being born is confounding.
Each episode incorporated a distinct flavor that elevated character development and story arc. The whole is a buoyant and succulent melange.
The writing was sharply on edge, the directors' wings were boundless and the actors (especially Z) rose to every unforgiving task.
Z's parade at finale was unexpected, deserved, joyous and brilliant. The music speaks. 01-Sep-2019
The carnival episode was a modern Hitchcock delirious delight. Zen's etch of a drug addict cuts deep. 31-Aug-2019
Etching a recognizable world and stripping Zendaya of Disney cuteness. Feels like home. 28-Aug-2019