All Posts Tagged as 'Romance'
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Golden Bachelor, The (2023)

I tuned in because I wanted to survey the old hunk. There is no way a 72 year old can look that good. He's handsome, a people pleaser, tastes like Spanish Fly and wants to fuck. He proved his age when it took him about twenty minutes to put on his shoes. Good editing. Wink, wink. There were no Goldiggers amongst the 20 but I noticed a few madams and ex whores. Including younglings would have created the tension women of that age experience. Most of the elder women were loopy, defining an era that's no longer safe. I like Ellen. I don't know why but I do. One of the women looked like Captain Sandy in a black wig, the Maude impressionist was kicked out, Jesse eye-fucked the bachelor and I felt grandpa's burden. Every time he votes out an eccentric aunt, America will judge him. "The man is dumping grannies!" 30-Sep-2023
Little Mermaid (2023)

"I would have made Prince Eric an enslaved black royal in a slave boat that crashed in the sea. Black Ariel saves him but must fight a racist society to get him back to his tribe. If you're going to invest in a culture, invest. 06-Sep-2023
Halle Bailey is resplendent with no significant voice. The movie is not her fault. Javier Bardem created enough quake to make me want to suck his dick under the table. My apologies Lady Penelope, it's only a dream. Fish and birds suffered from unfortunate casting and drawing. Lady McCarthy was doing fake Brady Bunch Shakespeare with an SNL accent. Ok. If she actually sings like that why does she sing crappy in the commercials? Prince Eric sang only one song. Thank god! I would have never filmed that. Marshall had trouble imagining and most of the cast were confused. It's the best film Marshall has directed but it's hollow. 06-Sep-2023
You Do Something To Me - Sinead O'Connor
Piece of Cake
Woman Possessed (1958)

A mother who has dedicated her whole life to making sure her son could take care of himself are reunited after two years, he's a doctor and engaged to be married. Mother is shocked at boy breaking mother monster bubble but he's in love. The introductions are awkward, full of rich people manners that can't mask hate. The conversations are human. Mother expounds an opinion that changes their lives forever. The couple bicker about how much control the mother has over her son and the backhanded humiliation future wife receives. Sometimes he was right, other times she was and half the time, both were. The mother blames the fiancee's weakness as to why she needs to suffer in her world. She was horrible when no one was around and she never let them see her sweat in a dress. The jury flip flops as did I. Uncle was cute, old maid was tired, of course, she had a mansion to clean, dress and cook for and young maid's exit was fucked up. The birthday party was a topper. The irony explains itself, the ladies were in good form and was that a lesbian ending? 22-Jul-2023
Gay man who needs pipes fixing turns to Grindr
Kieran Greenhook, who lives in Bristol, was in dire need of a flathead screwdriver when his sink broke, and with his bathroom slowly flooding around his feet, had no option but ask the neighbours for help.
So he fired up the apps.
“I just thought Grindr is the easiest way to find someone that is currently there and within walking distance” Kieran told PinkNews.
Kieran found the person closest to him and fired off a request for help, writing: “I’m not looking to f**k right now, but my bathroom sink is currently flooding the bathroom.
Gay man who needs pipes fixing
Felon looking for love on Tinder before prison lockdown
Deep Fake Love (2023-)

S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023
Babysitter, The (1969)

The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023
Married At First Sight UK (2015-)

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023
Danny Thomas Show, The (1953-1965)

There seems to be silence on the legacy of this classic sitcom. It started as Make Room For Daddy and mushroomed into The Danny Thomas Show. I saw all of the latter and only a handful of the other. The actress playing his wife, in the first half, had disdain for the man and it showed. Her composure did not scream nurturing, romantic or in love. Wrong place for the wrong actress. Danny played a version of himself. He was a singer/comedian who worked nightclubs. Jabbing at Danny's Lebanese culture was open, respectful and knowledgable. Lucy & Desi were his parents (friends) and Dick Van Dyke was his cousin (spin-off.) The show was blessed with energetic ideas, comic genius and non-stop showmanship. Danny must have learned how Lucy did it because he found his cute and sarcastic wit. Second wife was glamorous, vindictive, funny and hot. Marjorie Lord went shopping with Lucy Ricardo, cooked in fashion, got him in the mood and plotted her revenge in a very elegant and comical manner. The son is a scene stealer. Even when he made a mistake he diverted it with more funny. His adorability peaked in his tweens and crashed in his teens but he had a memorable run. Funny as fuck. The daughter was a prime teen that left before her character became unbearable. She had her moments. Louise was the household maid that was played by two elder pros. She got to hug white children, gossip with the wife, celebrate as a family member and sass the boss. A proud black woman. She isn't in all the episodes but the character remained til the end. The guest stars were numerous. The writers succeeded in incorporating them into strong storylines. The topics were basic, like feminism, how men can't do anything right, a woman can do anything men can do, a gift abolishes snarls and make-up sex is her way of accepting an apology. Penny from Lost In Space enters as a cute sister moppet that was supposed to bring adorability and sunshine. She was a work in progress. She laughs during line readings and when Mr. Thomas is doing his thing. She's cute and annoying. He was a great teacher, though. He hands a season to his working buddy and his domineering wife, played by the original Ursula from the Little Mermaid. It was an odd experiment giving supporting players full reign. They had to fill really big shoes and were no longer the sitcom air freshener. Ursula flopped around like she was getting paid to play charades on land. She was a bit too much. Danny was a ham. He sang in almost every episode. He shoved it down our throats but was so adamant and easy going that we learned to accept it and stopped praying that he didn't sing in the next episode. They had minorities galore and a successful run from the 50s through the 60s. Well-written, comical, consistent and timeless. One of a kind. Why don't we ever celebrate it? 06-Jun-2023
Hunchback OF Notre Dame, The (1996)

Laid out like an adult novel that kids can understand. There is no better marriage than broadway and Disney. The score may not be everlasting but it's made up of raw talent and emotion. The songs and singers soared. The animation splashed with celebratory colors while hellish fire represented its demise. Quasi is a molded adult broken by a murdered mother and a crippled body. He is adopted by the man who wronged him, controlled him and gaslit the kid to hide the monster inside of himself. The subjects are very adult. The adoptive father rules the town with sexual and racist motivation. Gypsies are taking over. The crime rate is through the roof and they are to blame. A Festival of Fools sets up the threads that make all the characters intersect for a grande finale. The monster convinces himself he can attend. A military captain has just been initiated. Esmeralda seduces all the men with her gypsy dance and her unapologetic heart. Evil master Frollo becomes obsessed with dominating her. The good men compete with each other to protect her. Everything is big, everything is right but it begged for a slow down. I know, the kiddies would've exploded in their seats but the adults might have watched it again. It's not the best but it's unique. 04-Jun-2023
3,000 Years Of Longing (2022)

It seems like a private joke to portray different languages without captioning them. The more times the movie lines or references are repeated the more we can understand and retain it. It's an educational tool. The descriptions fall mainly on Elba who portrays a physically commanding djinn with poetic romanticism with no woman to match him. Swinton's acting nuances become mismatched ticks. Queen of Shiba's story was the most interesting only because the actress portraying her provided model fabulosity. The leads remain within bottle safety throughout. The effects don't want to intrude on realism but that's what the story is about. I wanted to see Elba mixing spells, looking dashing or at least happy and having a magic ball while reciting Shakespeare with Lady Tilton. 23-May-2023
Queen Charlotte (2023)

The garden starts to grow as soon as we catch a glimpse of it. Characters bloom, the younglings master the post artists and the older generation is A-list. Storytelling is compact with cultural explanations and detailed mystery comprehension. When things unravel they make sense. Young Charlotte trained smartly. Young Agatha was sumptuously gifted. She gave great face. Princess Augusta wrecked as an anti-villain. Young George was a beautiful broken piece of perfection. When he didn't move he looked like a doll. Young Brimsley was the cutest thing. He did not look like his future self because one is a pocket and the other is not but he was so squeezable that I thought the blonde semi-God didn't deserve him. Queen Charlotte: half of her title is fact. Diction was created so Lady Danbury can splatter it with harmony. Beauteous, courteous fiction. 19-May-2023