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All Posts Tagged as 'Silly'

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Bachelorette, The (2003-) Whimper

I hope this child has a lot of protection. How do you choose among wolves? Aaron is representing the LGBTQ community. Devin is all mouth. He can please casting but can he woo a woman? Should he even try? Hakeem has never watched an episode of the Simpsons. Jonathon looks like the kind of guy that would fuck your brains out until he gets Britney's number. Sam has a very pretty face. What's his sexual problem? Everyone acts like their agents taught them how to act. I pity the fool. 18-Jul-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Crapfun, Dating, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Manipulation, Over the Top, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack

Filed under: TV

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18-Jul-2024


First Omen, The (2024) Whimper

They couldn't follow up the original story so they made shit up. I wanted to see the devil fuck a jackal. In what Walt Disney world is that not possible? It took cues from The Nun without inhabiting what made the original Omen successful. Actors we cared about bringing a terrific book to life. A score that lives in my eternal memory. A director that defined it without judging it. Damien-Omen II's foreboding notes would have given the movie strength and fan base pleasure throughout, if they had thought to use it. 01-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cold, Horror Mild, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Slow, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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01-Jun-2024


Madame Web (2024) Arf

The only Madame Web I know is from the Spider-Man animated series. She was an elder with psychic gifts who spiritually assisted Peter Parker. The comic book origins were tinkered with, pulled and redesigned into a television movie. There are about 2 minutes of Spider-women geared up and it's not enough. The ladies were solid but the story was squishy. New Spider-man is the only suited one which renders fights unfair since the girls have no powers. If they were trying for subtlety they should have hired an out of the box writer and director. The ladies sprinkled enough fairy dust for me to follow them but their destinies lead to shit. 14-May-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, TV-like, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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14-May-2024


Wish (2023) Bites

I tried watching through the eyes of a child and it confused me. What do you mean that man has my wish. I made ten wishes yesterday and two came true. I don't even remember that one wish everybody's talking about. Fuck it. It's only one. The film has Ariana DeBose energy and a Barbie stance. DeBose is so excited to show us what she's got that she faux climaxes before she has to. Some of the songs actually sounded musical. Pine's Shatner was so good that it stunk. The last man with a working penis is stealing little girl dreams. (None of the dreams were to marry a man to save them?) The women and some of their friends band together to destroy him. Some of the friends consisted of weak or mentally disabled boys and feeble grandfathers with no reach. I presume we had to look towards the animals to find culture representation. No gays in sight. Sophia The First looked better than this and brought the magic. One of Disney's junkiest animations. 28-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Animation, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cheeky Acting, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Grating, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Vague, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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28-Apr-2024


Ripley (2024-) Whimper

Johnny Flynn did not make me understand why anybody would envy Dickie's life enough to steal it. Dakota Fanning was misused. She never really progressed past her harsh demeanor. She needed the director to shake the professionalism out of her. She was supposed to be the heart and the meat of the story but there was little proof the character had any. I would have air horned her when she couldn't say Dickie with a straight face. Why were the details so repetitive and why did I have to look up Caravaggio to understand what the killer was all about? Because, besides talking to dead people, it's complicated. Inspector Ravini added a shot of testosterone to the murky blunders. He was a beautiful respite from Ripley's underwhelming reactions. Unfortunately, the Lucy episode betrayed him. The idea that Scott could play both characters in front of an expert investigator, whilst sporting a goatee and messy hair and not get found out was a slap in the face of the entire investigation and series. Even Ricky wasn't that stupid. Ripley never got to spaz out. Bummer. Dickie was never pictured in the papers when they thought he was missing and when he was wanted for murder. The cops didn't go door to door with a picture of Dickie asking the hotel clerks if they've seen this man. Why? Woodbine showed up again for no reason other than to fill his quota. He also kept his eyes mostly closed. Comprehension did not seem feasible at that point. 19-Apr-2024
E5. You can't ask a fish to play a canine. Instead of using it's time to add depth to other characters it kept depending on only one artist. It is not feasible that a person of his character would return to the scene of the crime and less feasible that nobody would care. Details that read well were ignorantly distributed. I read the original book, was entertained by the film and remembered it wasn't this boring. 17-Apr-2024
E3. Of course I'm still mad that they didn't supply any crayons for the coloring book but papito's italian accent made up for it. He added finality to certain words and made them linger with musicality. I crinkled half the book joyously laughing. I pinched him and hugged myself. 16-Apr-2024
E2. I'm losing patience. It doesn't matter what spectrum an actor falls into, when asked to play a boy, they better act like one. 14-Apr-2024
E1. Black and white can be a statement, the past and or a representation. Schindler's List was black and white so the violence wouldn't be glamorized and the subject exploited. I have no idea why this interpretation needs to be in black and white. It's insurmountable misery. The ambience is french/italian movies from the 60's that bored or didn't easily make sense. It shouldn't be noir. Paper Moon? The Little Rascals? It's not Hitchcock. If the black participants hadn't kept their eyes open, I wouldn't have noticed them. I recognized Woodbine's name after the credits. Who did he play exactly? Yes, the shadow at the bar. The mystery sweeps, the movement is slow but the leads keep you interested.

(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Lifestyle, Magnetism, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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19-Apr-2024


There's Something In The Barn (2023) Bites

The director didn't add scope to cramped spaces. The set-up was an opportunity to marry into the Gremlins family but the creatives were inspired to make schlock. It was nice to have a boy do something in a movie besides being written out. The thing in the barn is not a CGI wonder or a Chucky miracle. It was old and dusty, like the script. I hope they hired some little people, at least. The film confuses weird with scary. The action sequences were frozen, the comedy was foggy and horror didn't show up. 01-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Cold, Comedy, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Holiday, Horror Mild, Preposterous, Retread, Silly, Stupid Funny, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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01-Apr-2024


Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy, I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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13-Mar-2024


Wonka (2023) Woof

The movie is far from great but TC molds it into his own Barbie. He charms us with all of his almost complete skills. The Oompa Loompa was splendid. Olivia Colman let her boobs out and was funny. The support were astute. The whole thing was fun because Chalamet is a magician that makes us believe that his strive for excellence overcomes story limitations. 09-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Adorable, Camp, Director Movement, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Magnetism, Musical, Pleasant Music, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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09-Mar-2024


Poor Things (2023) Arf

Oh. Emma ruined the word squishy for me. 08-Mar-2024
The whore of Frankenstein. The direction was stylish and the visuals were artistic but the script needed punching. The backstory was more interesting than the Frankenstein repeat. I wanted less of that. None of the actors clicked in the setting and Ruffalo's mumbly accent was troubling. TG he got naked. Emma Stone played the recovering retard like anyone would. She was okay but she didn't ignite the fire that would make men want to imprison her. Ramy's wedding pants were awful. I couldn't identify with a woman who is allowed a smooth awakening because she is trapped in a make believe world. She didn't know the value of a dollar, a meal, a man, rent, a closet, bordello gangbangs and logic. Stepping out on the town in lingerie would have been disastrous and mind altering, like in the real world. She is not a hero. She is like every other woman trapped in a setting that a man built. 08-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Cold, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Horny, Lesbian, Music Swings, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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08-Mar-2024


Ricky Stanicky (2024) No Moons

It doesn't get worst than this. There were only two funny bits, the drowning dog and the girl's hair. 08-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Relationships, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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08-Mar-2024


Five Nights At Freddys (2023) Bites

It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cliche, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Horror, Horror Mild, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Tacky

Filed under: Movies

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07-Mar-2024


Marvels, The (2023) Bites

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Fantasy, Girlie Movie, Lesbian, Over the Top, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Stink Wigs, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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07-Feb-2024


Trust (2024-) Arf

Finale. It was almost cute. 26-Jan-2024
Trusting strangers, we do it everyday. We have to trust someone for aid to move on. There's a brilliant game to be played but the show hasn't figured it out, yet. Boo, for making the hottest beast walk the plank first-time around. Another remains but he's an asshole. Millionaire got shut out of the villa's bubble and trapped in a snow globe for admitting how privileged he is. Poor thing. Unless he's a plant, it's a chilly thing. The girls and boys huddled with their own. The men were obliged to let aggression lead. The women can't do like men. They have to group and wheedle down as they see fit. They have their eye on a fellow contestant whose skillset includes a seduction of the only man worth fucking. It's ghastly. That white boy celebrated someone's heritage by annoying them with it. The old lady is a Platinum Karen. I hope the producers tip them towards their last nerve. 11-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Egotistical, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Juvenile, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Revenge, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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26-Jan-2024


Fool Me Once (2024-) Howl

Michelle Keegan was salty with inner strength. Woman and child lose daddy to murder when intense family bonding goes awry. The detectives bungle, connect, bond and make us feel. Joanna Lumley exerts bitchiness and priority. The suspects were vibing. I was invested in every episode. Puzzle pieces were a reward. The final ones put my eyeballs back into my head. It would make absolutely no sense, if the director and performances weren't so great. It was like watching Dynasty: The Best Years with a moldovian massacre at the end. 14-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, Crime Drama, Disappointment, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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14-Jan-2024


Merry Little Batman (2023) Arf

The main vocals were experimenting and setting themselves apart. Actors don't have to sound like another actor's iteration but they must ponder the psychology and physicality of their characters to achieve evolution. Batman and Joker sucked. Poison Ivy passed by a hair. Joker plots to steal Christmas a la you know who, Batman is indisposed but his child can become him to save Gotham. The action was rollercoaster, the art was crude and the meaning got lost. 17-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Animation, Bad Acting, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Disappointment, Grating, Macho Posing, Psychological, Repetitive, Silly, Stupid Funny, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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17-Dec-2023




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