All Posts Tagged as 'Action'
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Amazing Race, The (2001-)
This year was all about daddy fashion. Daddy wore many accentuating pants that shadowed stuff. The winner of the race also won the best leg contest. No disrespect, but I don't want to fuck them, my comic book character does and only the legs. I knew that one couple wasn't going to make it when one partner kept smiling like a loser. 08-Dec-2022
Daddy Phil rocked some stylish pants that made his Keoghan pop out. Nice daddy. The granite bros have me wishing for a thong challenge. I want to see the tall dude but not his wife Karen skimp too but I feel guilty. They look like they tie people up. Father and Daughter. She eyerolls stealthily whenever her father extols his masculinity and makes her look stoopid. The L Sisters were my favorite. They barfed eating greek Souvlaki. Yes, I know! It's that awful white sauce. It tastes like baby vomit. That's why I order it without it. It's really better that way. 18-Feb-2022
The movie induces flashbacks to disaster classics that made it tolerable to withstand the subject. The new generation make assorted pieces part of the puzzle. They fit anywhere or not at all. There is an ugly giant troll on the loose and the tree huggers want to coddle it, while the powers that be want to annihilate it. Dude, the bear you're saving is going to rip your head off, they don't give a shit about us, be thoughtful. It does a very big "bad" wrong. They turn his dick into a tail. He drinks too much, ergo, the bulbous nose. He has a preference for innocence, destruction and confusion. Instead of beams pulverizing rocks we get fairytale mumbo jumbo. "Troll" commands you adhere like Captain Sandy and exit like Captain Sandy as soon as the idiot humans show up. 04-Dec-2022
Whatever It Takes
Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)
It begins with family authenticity, struggling to keep current and afloat. Super reality sets in and the tingles begin. Oh no! It's going to be bonkers. The cast resolves it. I wasn't sure if the husband was Jackie Chan. I spent a lot of the time being jealous of how young he looked. It was driving me crazy. He can't be, right? When he utilized the master's moves, I thought, that's definitely Jackie Chan. It's a tribute to him and Michelle Yeoh as action heroes but why does he look so fucking young? Terrific surgery perhaps? Ke Huy Quan is as adorable now as he was as a kid in a Spielberg classic. The man was precise. To Lady Yeoh, we gently bow. Stephanie Hsu had fun being all iterations of evil because we had fun too. Jamie Lee Curtis was gnarly. James Hong added his queerisms. The film threw as many cliches as it did new ideas. A win win for art. A film that wipes its imperfections with glorious shots of legends reacting to wonder and giving us soul. 27-Nov-2022
The most enchanting thing about both films is Amy. When her magic is at full tilt, production continues her flow. Dempsey was saddled with a silly storyline and a "send him away" type direction. Women and men no longer want to fight together. It's women's turn to die for what they believe in. Marsden is a pro at acting douchy but cute. Gabriella was just right. Maya stopped fussing and was funny again. The music was almost but it felt like there was an intruder interrupting the grandeur. Some of the songs are juvenile. Idina Menzel wrecking her throat's gift on shitty songs is a never. They made her sing "Let It Glow," again and again. Her magnificent voice gets a full moon. Amy's everything makes you hungry for more. Suburbia works as a stand-in for a magical life but once true magic coaxes itself into reality the ink starts to dry. They gave no magic equations or rules of limitations that we could realistically follow. What kind of magic is in Andalucia? Why did the queen gain power? Is Andalucia in Wakanda? None of the above. They gave no rules because they didn't want to have to follow them. Dude, that's when the best art is created! Full moon to the production in front and back and a boo hoo to the writers for not coming up with something more substantial to say. 18-Nov-2022
How Not To Drown
Day Of The Animals (1977)
Depletion of the ozone layer is making animals at high levels territorial. Crows are the eyes, bears, the muscle, dogs are betrayers and mice, the vermin. There were no cats of the domestic kind. I presumed the dogs ate them. The cast is professional and appealing. The George's marriage radiated on screen. Michael Ansara played a dignified American Indian, proudly. Leslie Nielsen rages in the most asshole kind of way and we love it. He ripped his shirt to shreds because he was committed. I was enthralled. Nice shots of the animals grouping, the child, the after effects of a kill and Andrew Stevens body, face, smirk and Farrah-like hair. A story that deserves what new technology is capable of... without the preach. 26-Oct-2022
Werewolf By Night (2022)
A monster mash that returns to its cinema roots to re-establish itself in the present. Story over matter, acting instead of over-compensation and violence with a due purpose. Harriet Sansom Harris has a voice you shyly obey, Laura Donnelly's spirit has cool tendencies and Buffy skills, I prefer Mr. Bernal in shorts and no makeup but I'll take him however he is served. Please, remember the shorts, though. 12-Oct-2022
An artful relentless mess in which Lord Nicholas takes on religion and splits his asshole kicking its butt. 12-Oct-2022
House conservatives focusing on crime...
Legislative proposals being advanced by the conservative include a Concerned Citizens Bill of Rights, which Banks said would link “a state’s receipt of relevant DOJ grant funding on the adoption of certain pro-law enforcement measures.”
Those pro-law enforcement measures, according to Banks, include compelling police departments to report crimes to the FBI’s Uniform Crime Reporting Program and stopping money from going to states that have “no-cash bail” laws.
House conservatives focusing on crime...
Atlanta Rap Star Is Arrested
Teen Arrest Was On Her Bucket List
Corrections officer, 38, jumps to his death
Woman climbs up on windowsill to steal gay husbands’ rainbow flag
6 dead, over 40 shot
Woman is attacked and robbed at gunpoint by group of men on sidewalk
Armed robbers burst into shop firing and killing a pregnant shop worker and her colleague
Battered with a hammer by 'his mother's 55-year-old very close friend'
McDonald's axe man released without bail - is busted AGAIN
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)
The dinos are stunning and grandiose, the familiar faces are warm, whatever stole Chris Pratt's mojo ain't giving it back and Bryce Dallas Howard would have stolen the whole shebang had someone written in a Tammy Faye Bakker impression. The movie confirms that in order to save the planet, we must die. (You didn't think we were sacrificing for us or our children, did you?) 11-Oct-2022
History Repeating (Knee Length Mix)
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)
Natalie Portman's linebacker is not the gayest thing about the movie, a bodyless rock pining for another rock is. Are you kidding me? I want to see Thor's beautiful ass fucked by Zeus. 12-Sep-2022
Fullmetal Alchemist The Revenge of Scar (2022)
I was enthralled with the animated version because the mythology was expansive, well explained and the leads were cute and courageous. An alchemy accident causes two brothers to drastically change and adapt to auto survival skills through a shady world. The Big Bads were vibrant, the fights creative. The live version lets us remember and appreciate the spectacle without superceding it. 21-Aug-2022
Lost City, The (2022
Everything stale is reyclable. The desperation to depict a bygone era is unflattering but the actors revive tired stereotypes with charisma and star watt. Sandra Bullock is reserved and ditzy, Channing is too old to model but the right age to fuck and Daniel Radcliffe sucks. 14-Aug-2022