All Posts Tagged as 'Action'
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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave it home? It opens with a baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. They didn't study their accents. Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Jupiter's Legacy (2021)
SE5. I'm not done yet. They talk a lot. I wander then I rewind to listen that they are griping about the same depressing shit as last episode. Did Hollywood run out of realistic looking hair or are lousy wiggers not fireable? "Give Daddy the homeless wig." Daddy's hair drips and droops and looks exactly like that. The cast is jelling but the story needs some mushrooms. 14-May-2021
A great pastiche of superhero adventures and the miserable lives it processes. It's familiar, obliterating and fun. 09-May-2021
Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021)
Teen lesbian leaving for school has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021
Aaron Taylor-Johnson knew how to lead, Chadwick Boseman had no presence, Robert Pattinson had no rhythm and Christopher Nolan discovered the reverse button. The film was correct about one thing. If you fall asleep halfway through, you heal faster. 03-May-2021
20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954)
Captain Nemo moves about the ocean with his Bat-sub blowing up ships because society has betrayed him and his family. A sailor, a professor and his sarcastic assistant make it safely onboard the vessel and become hostages to an undersea rebellion. Professor wants to rehabilitate Nemo because his violent revenge is coming from a good place. The other two just want off. Douglas was Popeye smooth with tight musculature, Lukas sounded like he knew the answers and Lorre was droll fully funny. Mason is unrecognizable as the infamous captain, the seal was wonderful being daddy's little pet, the squid was magnificent, the suits were inventive and the Star Wars windows were fabulous. 01-May-2021
Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995)
I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021
Falcon And The Winter Soldier (2021-)
Preachers hijacked the writing room. Victim is the new black. A black super soldier spends the rest of his life watering plants with a twink by his side as punishment for having the bravery to be drugged and evolve the strength to save people. He could have been Captain America except for the cruel charisma of a wasp. America voted him out, jailed and erased him. So he said. If the show had commenced with this notion, we would have been spared some ineffectual rundowns and it would have smashed impact. Julia Louis Dreyfus pinched delightfully but had no time to heist. Why are Wakandans allowed to walk freely with spears? The superbad was Orphan Annie grown with a Party City mask, reminding parents that depriving children is best. Teaching is for school and parents. If we can show them how great we are without saying a word, we've won them over. Everything must be black (good) and white (bad) because we're too sensitive for grey (everyone). We all suck. 26-Apr-2021
An ode to superhero support that no one cared about. The task of the series is to make us care. The action zips, the storyline seems cohesive but the protagonists need to make us feel more than heroism. The story is zooming but the actors ain't riding it. 21-Mar-2021
Curse Of The Golden Flower, The (2006)
Drop dead gorgeous. That's what I thought at the time I first saw it and its what I affirm now. I devoured and appreciated the crazy amount of artistic work that Zang's imagination and his crew realized. The story was simple and intoxicating. The empress is married to a punishing emperor obsessed with perfection, war and revenge. The empress is mother and stepmother to three boys who are next in line for the crown. Empress is in love with her stepson. He's grown up and doesn't want mama or to be emperor because he's in love with the servant daughter of the doctor that is helping the emperor to secretly poison the empress with enforced medicine. Daddy is back from battle hyped to finish his family war. Traditions are broken, inconsistancy becomes normal, traditions feel like enslavement and people are ready to revolt. Chow Yun-fat knows how to stomp his foot, wield a sword and kill a son. He's intimidating. Gong-Li is that unattainable thing that becomes easy prey once prized and possessed, thrusting her into a vengeful future because she is second in command. She serves gorgeous "Meryl Streep" face.
It's a slow burn to the battle sequences but they are worth it. Action was dressed, mapped and showcased exquisitively and the bloodbath was enervating. Men versus equally matched women with children by their side. Ouch. Amen. 22-Apr-2021
101 Dalmations (1996)
I never saw this movie before. I didn't want to. I thought there would be overacting and lots of talking animal buffoonery. Though the human relationship evolves very quickly, the establishment of Cruella de Ville and adorable puppies are right. The actors were pitch perfect facsimiles of the animated classic and Glenn Close knitted some fabulous bits. The doggies have their own storyline and its realistically sweet and adventurous. Top family entertainment whence you teach the kids how to pick up after themselves or else they sell their pets to turn into fashion. 20-Apr-2021
A beautifully crafted animation about unlocking traditional magic. Two brothers accidentally cast a spell that resurrects half of dad. No head or heart just crotch, ass, legs and feet. He profiles like a predator. He taps their shoes to announce to his victims they've been found.
My version: boy triggers a spell that brings complete daddy back. Hey daddy's cool. Blah blah blah. If they want to keep him they have 24 hours to venture out and make it happen. They bond. They have beautiful memories and grand adventures without having to endure memorizing daddy's crotch and ass for 24 hours. Takeoff! Did cartoon daddy walk off the set in a huff? The filmmakers could not realize a finale for us. It was all hearsay. 08-Apr-2021
Craft Legacy (2020)
It gets down to business. Three practicing high school witches need a fourth to obtain their full powers. Enter nondescript beauty and all their dreams come true. We celebrate and we vow then realize that like masturbation, the power is ours. People don't share well. Too many ideas that were worth exploring remained untouched. Nicholas Galitzine is worth enthralling but the reasoning didn't make sense. He was too infatuated to warrant one. Though the twists were a treat, it needed revenge craft. Lots of bloody hell of it. 05-Apr-2021
Another You - Elle King
Monster Hunter (2020)
Why are they monster hunters? Nobody wants to track these ugly fuckers down. They happen to be in the way of some people getting home. That's all. Self-defense has nothing to do with hunting. The military swag from all sexes was nauseating, the action was energetic but preposterous, all of the bad actors die first and we thank the gods but the monsters mainly consisted of a "Tremors" beast, a crablike spider and a dragon made of rocks. The cat was funny but was given minimal time. (What a delight to surprise Dr. Viviana with that one!) Non-descript monsters and humans battling an unrealistic warp world. It doesn't make Hi-C sense. 21-Mar-2021
Get Your Freak On - Skeewiff, The Munsters & Missy Elliott
War With Grandpa, The (2020)
Spoiled kid starts a war with grandpa when hardship hits the elder and he has to move in with daughter and family. Mom and dad evict boy from his room so grandpa can die in it. The mistake is starting a war at all. Grandpa is too cute for mistreatment. Had the hijinks been pranks instead of combat they would have elicited warm feelings. The adults were jelling and the kids were posting but most of the pranks were classic TV lame. 13-Mar-2021