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All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'

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Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil (2019) Arf

Jolie's Maleficent is a sublime creature that never got a good movie written about her. Her work remains unmatched. Jolie, learning etiquette was funny and bright. The dinner choreography didn't make sense. Maleficent overreacted when the prospective in-laws hadn't hit her soft spot yet. Her denial of murder should have been the catalyst. Once the scene is set, it skits, stalls, enchants and sentimentalizes. It's better than the first one.

Also, don't call a witch evil unless she eats babies. 21-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Beautiful, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Over the Top, Predictable, Relationships, Retread, Revenge, Star Watt, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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21-Jan-2021


A Teacher (2020-) Arf

I keep wondering if the punishment would have been less traumatic had they not been caught. 21-Jan-2021
The consequences of an illicit affair between a female adult and a developing teen is that she equips him with a superpower. She gets punished. He becomes a sexual bandido because she taught him how pussy works. That is one hell of a superpower to lay on a kid and the episode exploits it as much as it clarifies it. I became confused and disoriented by the idea that if you enjoy it and it gives you street cred, it's not that bad. 10-Dec-2020
This happens when we're no longer allowed to slut-shame. 30-Nov-2020
S1E3. There is a warning at the end and the beginning of the show there is also also a contact for abused twinks to unload the free pussy they've been scoring for months. "Geez, it was fun for a while, but now she's acting like my mom. I don't care if she goes to go jail. Where do I sign?" The female teacher is the new priest. It's not her fault. Her husband is buying shit without her permission and his dick is no longer pink. She's helpless. Kate Mara adds the lemon to the all you can eat fish fry as Nick Robinson preserves a crack addled twink for dessert. Baby looks tired. It smells like a headline that caught your eye once and you only remembered it when it swung back around. All we can hope for is lots of sex and violence. This show makes you want to go out and break things. 28-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Discomfort, Drama, Gay Soundtrack, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Twinkie, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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21-Jan-2021


Below Deck (2013-) Howl

Deck Nick Toon found that the easiest way to dump a banged out chick is to get the Chef drunk. Poor Mariah. Chef Loops was instantaneously diagnosed as an alcoholic because she told the truth. Casual drinkers can be falling down drunk and lie. Deck Rob is pining for Deck Toons and Deck Toons likes it. Cue drunk Chef Loops cursing them out. 19-Jan-2021
S8E11. Chef Loops is auditioning for SNL. The deckhand that looks like a TV Nick toon voiced by Boy George is shagging "Mariah Carey." That's what stupid hot looks like. Daddy Eddie. You won't find a better ham with great hair and the juiciest pig feet, ever. Get better Izzy. The Loops is cracking. The way "in" involves alcohol. Good luck, girl! If it works let new deck try it on deck Nick Toon. 18-Jan-2021
Eddie wanted to knock the foie gras out of Chef Loopy and I wanted to see that. Mariah still doesn't understand what the word try means. Izzy has a crush. Chef Loopy couldn't fake a nicety when the gays raved about her food. He was so emotional and she was so....who gives a fuck. Quack. She left because she didn't think "they" deserved 8 of her courses. Quack. There's hope, Izzy. 21-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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19-Jan-2021


Bridgerton (2020-) Woof

S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Fun Acting, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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28-Dec-2020


Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-1977) Full Moon

S4E8. Grandmas get horny too. 24-Dec-2020
S4E5. Super silver daddy with big brother ass wears hooker pumps to work. Yum! 23-Dec-2020
S4E1. Before Betty White drowned us in honey she perfected an empowered slut known as "The Happy Homemaker." She is introduced during one of Mary's lousy parties in which Phyllis' husband takes her home and almost never returns. The affair is handled with aplomb. A well versed human rights campaigner versus an eager and empowered cunt. The ladies are fabulous, Mary has the best solution and Teddy/Aquaman was delicious. 20-Dec-2020
S3E17. Classic sex identification episode. It's Mary's first party, Georgette is on hand to steal it and Rhoda is dating Phyllis' brother whose meant for Mary. The adult banter is resplendent, the emotions are on cue and the acting is sublime. 05-Dec-2020
The better Mary's hair gets, the more brilliant the show. 26-Nov-2020
S1E22. The origin of twinks. 04-Nov-2020
Class Act. 21-Jul-2017

Tags: 1970s, Beautiful, Best In Comedy, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Elegance, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Gaycon, Genius of Art, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Magic, Political, Pretty, Special, Star Power, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Unity, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak, Writing Reigns

Filed under: TV

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24-Dec-2020


Below Deck (2013-) Howl

You'd think I would hate a gay charter that offered to eat Eddie before I was even finished with the crook of his back but I didn't. With the best dicks behind them the guests lounged on good food and company and I respect that. The chef didn't succumb to dick power and lowered her vagina expectations to a career. Her food looked so delicious that Izzy wondered how she must showcase in bed. Of course, she's straight. Listen, if you can convince Deck Ratched you can convince Chef Loopy. Give it a try. Somebody finally served the Captain a meal that didn't look like dog biscuits with low-fat milk. Baby Mariah is still complaining of having to work for a living. New deck and boring pretty deck played at lady conquerors but Eddie is the only one that knows how to corral a bitch. You go, daddy! Oh, except the Captain of course. The chief stew needs to loosen up or get rid of the outer layer of grease that surrounds her caricature. 21-Dec-2020
Mariah poisoned the crew with her ineptitude and her inability to understand. Chef turned green like Elphaba from Wicked and displayed a sudden allergic reaction to water. It looks like only a wizard can control that witch. Lazy CA twink got gangfucked out of the water. I know exactly where to start eating Eddie. The tip of his earlobe. If James is waiting for a female to make him sexually comfortable, he's not bi. Captain was disrespected. James needs to service him. Take a break Eddie. Why are women still crying at work? 15-Dec-2020
The Captain pimped himself out. The charter didn't die. I know exactly where to start eating Eddie. The California twink must spend a lot of time at senior centers. The one who isn't Hannah is still not Hannah. Mariah can only get her notes right. It looks like sunshine may be overcast and no longer in the running for a James hip break. 08-Dec-2020
The charter of the almost dead. Chief Stew sounds like Hannah but she's not Hannah. Watching Elizabeth work is like watching Mariah Carey exert herself. Izzy confirmed that James is a dick breaker. The almost dead charter confused expensive crab for one of their dick mates. Dudes, you're old and your palettes are dead, stop pretending. Did squishy Eddie serve the camera some bountiful hairy turkey ass? I Love it. 01-Dec-2020
The female crew invalidated gender equality by crying over missing clothing, exhaustion and other girly things. Give them some Boost. It pissed Izzy right out of there. She went deck crew. She knows how to man up. A charter of younglings dominated the boat and the elder younglings (crew) sort of resented them. The charter was immobile, always hungry, always full with a deep appreciation for good food. Why are we lobbing golf balls into the ocean? Pretty rich boy's hormones couldn't contain themselves and roared about James beauty and compared him to Tom Hardy. James was flattered to be Tom Hardy's butt. Girlfriend couldn't take the flirtation and walked away. Horny charter cared very little about girlfriend same sex annoyances. Woke means sex with anyone. Yes, girl, the bro thing is a rouge. He's rich, you want it, shut up. Chef Rachel made me hungry. Shane wants to be a fish. He always wants to shed clothing and swim. Naked sushi is disgusting. Daddy Cap enjoying babies running wild was cute. You want to take a bite out of Eddie but where to start? James became depressed when his crewmates refused to understand his accent and when he realized they took their jobs seriously. He had a discussion with Izzy that seemed chopped up but I think I got the gist. He was horny. Francesca would do. Izzy claimed he was horny for any hole including the pretty charter. "He'd need a hip replacement," he countered. I didn't get if he meant his ass was Hardy (breaks dicks) or his dick was powerful. The tip suggested he should have tried anyway. 24-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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21-Dec-2020


A California Christmas (2020) Arf

A woman can't do everything. Rich Californians gobble up real estate so they can turn the future into an unscientific reality. Hot country girl can't maintain the farm, has an ailing mother and a spunky sister. Hotter rich player schemes to get her to sell him her home at an astronomical price so they can build malls or something. He infiltrates the cowgirl's pants by pretending to be a Mexican ranch hand. Hotter is a beautiful mix of Superboy eggs and Zac DNA. Whomever was in charge of casting needs to be hired for our next gay friendly Christmas preach. I don't want to see people like myself on a screen that I pay for. We want the people that God granted the gift of beauty to. He wants us to be inspired by his art. So we shall. This film pays homage to that. The music makes you want to see it again, the actors hee and haw pleasantly and chemistry kills stupidity. Ass hugging crotch enhancing jeans, hot old daddy servants, wenches, witches, lesbians, Mexicans... Manny and Ali as lovers would have been adorable. It's a crappy gorgeous joy ride. As soon as Superboy ripped a child out of a female vagina, I was in. 17-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Physical Humor, Predictable, Preposterous, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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17-Dec-2020


Amazing Race, The (2001-) Howl

The reason we get randomly smacked in the street by strangers just won The Amazing Race. It wasn't much of a competition and daddy got covered up. It wasn't that cold. Fuck you. 17-Dec-2020
My wish for the gay sisters is that they have only each other to fuck for the rest of their married lives. The alliance hates alphas and black people next. Someone informed Super Daddy to tighten his crotch but I remember. 09-Dec-2020
The hierarchy of society is measured by the alliances we keep. The contestants hate Indians next. Phil doesn't wear underwear. Thank you, daddy. 02-Dec-2020
Gays hate females especially blondes. Beards hate females especially blondes too. Only the gays appeared foul about it. The Indian sis and bro isolated themselves by being disgusted by India's alternative dental hygiene. Your ancestors are offended. Daddy Phil did not appease me with a thong challenge but football is still in and daddy crotch jeans were in full view. Thank you, Phil. 26-Nov-2020
S3E7. Gays are always the first to start an alliance and the first to fuck it up. Daddy black baller had pink fingernail polish and I will never forget that. Daddy bigger baller loves art. Tingly. The gays have become the stereotype representation that assists in community failure and that makes me bet against them. I like the asian straight couple. Phil, I beg you. Do not let those alpha beards or ballers go until after the skimpy underwear wet challenge. Dude, I know you have a preference for blondes but please think gay for just one episode. The house boy was a nice touch. Twink Twink. 19-Nov-2020
S32E2. Phil has sporty good taste in Colombian houseboys. They love you for longer minutes. I am not a snitch but there is more than one LGBTQ couple competing in the race. The sport alphas are giving it a good twirl. Wink, wink. I tolerate the gay cup. 17-Nov-2020
It's amazing because the stunts are crazy, the producers keep finding people that are not us to perform them, and Phil is a master conductor. 02-Feb-2018

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Action, Best in Reality, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, History, Hot Swatch, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Twisty, Unity, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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17-Dec-2020


Space Station 76 (2014) Woof

I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.

Highlights of the future:

We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves

The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection

The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style

The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse

It's clean

There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.

A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comic Book, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Director's Slice, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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13-Dec-2020


Blood And Sand (1941)  Arf

A celebration of latino culture, the sport of bull fighting and the sacrifices for love. Tyrone Power is the bull fighting brat that thinks his past accomplishments and sexual prowess make up for his sins and lack of intelligence. His mother prays that he gets gourd by a bull so he doesn't die like his father. She also prays that his saintly new wife never gives birth to a son so she doesn't have to suffer the same damnation. Juan gets everything except the love of Jesus. Linda Darnell is a luminescent virgin whose no match for the Goddess of Hellfire. Rita was the woman whose perfection allowed her to steal anything in the proximity of her reach. When Rita lets her hair down and makes out with the husband in front of the wife we know this slut doesn't give a fuck. It's melodramatic like latin people, it's sumptuous like white people and it entertains like any good host. 11-Dec-2020

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Relationships, Sexist, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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11-Dec-2020


Holidate (2020) Arf

A platonic Aussie date for every occasion that looks good in your arms without any expectations is a guaranteed ideal. When Roberts and Bracey spar lovingly about the misery of life all is copacetic. It's only when they embrace the fairy in tale that it sours. People who hate life deserve a more realistic ending. 11-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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11-Dec-2020


My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Howl

Childhood friends discover they might have feelings for each other as "his" wedding approaches. Julia's star was astutely intoxicating. She reveled in being the asshole and compelled us to cheer when she realizes it. Cameron Diaz steals it by being the opposite of the woman that always gets the good man. She's adorable. If I liked girls I would eat her. The GBFF is of British cunt royalty. Its Rupert Everett, full of life and hope before the despair. Charming and cheeky he was the GBFF you can convincingly pass as a boyfriend and help your vibrator conjure up an image. Julia made me conscious of Dermot Mulroney's importance by the way she looked at him. She was studying him. I deduced him. He's the dick that looks great in Julia's glow and uprises when Cameron blows. He's that guy, she's that girl and she's that poor girl. The laughs are not a statement but a way of life, the romance is annoying but it's smart, people will never relate this way again and GBFFs don't last forever. The music made me float. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Best In ROM/COM, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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07-Dec-2020


Home For The Holidays (1995) Whimper

Rabid family holiday. Foster's mind is a jumble. Flamboyantly directed, fussed over and disrespected. Robert Downey Jr.'s gay brother flitted about like a crazed woodpecker perching and flapping uncontrollably to our discomfort and limited endurance. Giving a cute girl the sniffles for the entirety of a film is not romantic or sexy. It's a family home visit without the drinks. Where's the fun in that? 05-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Holiday, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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05-Dec-2020


Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Arf

Parents send their tech dependent children to nature camp to enforce the value of social interaction and gain survival skills. The bootcamp is a military wasteland. It splits them into teams and focuses on hikes, challenges and camaraderie to allow them to use the tech in their brains. You can also make friends. Good ensemble pulls you in as the movie keeps taking them out. It starts to hurt a little. The threat is a mess. We like our deformed bubblies with masks on and butch gear. It's yuck and impossible to look at. The pimply hillbilly troll backstory didn't help. It was preposterous. I withstood the gore and porn violence because of the cast, the kids, the representation, the dialogue, the awkwardness, the scared lesbian, the sexual limitations of tech sex, following natural reaction protocol and because they are us. The beast is in desperate need of a glam attack. It needs Jason's virility, Michael Myers' stamina and Freddy's humor and waist. It prepares us for death by tingling other parts of our body. Ick. 02-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Gore, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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02-Dec-2020


Undoing, The (2020-) Howl

The killer is not who I thought. It was a slow tread to the courtroom but that gave us time to loom over some well illuminated characters. Noah Jupe was playing with and absorbing the masters. Hugh makes you want to be Elena. Noma Dumezweni was a commandment and the voice of Darth Vader's mother. Donald Sutherland found an organic hard-on. Lilly Rabe applies her frenetic edge to a woman in charge. Mathilda DeAngelis is a rocket. Ismael Cruz Cordova is a missile. Edan Alexander is sweet. Rosemary Harris is a Meryl inspired craftsman. Nic's icicles are made of diamonds. The story is as much about marriage and family as it is about crime. Marriage is the victim. The direction needed a style makeover but the words came to life. 01-Dec-2020
The series is too distant to profile which makes it hard to cling to. Nicole eerily returns to "Far and Away" and "Dead Calm" personas and it's intriguingly off-putting. Hugh Grant is still the guy whose cummerbund you want to fix and the mystery contains possibilities. I think I know who did it. 29-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cliche, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Elegance, Fun Acting, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Power, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Touching, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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01-Dec-2020




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