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All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'

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Uglies (2024) Whimper

Interesting premise that has no solid fictional fact backing it up. The idea that you get surgery at 16 to look your most beautiful self and be happy is an unachievable fraud. Why didn't the people revolt before they agreed to a ludicrous way of living. What happens to the naturally beautiful? Vanity wouldn't allow that to transpire. Is there anything uglier than uglies? Do they step up to ugly when the others reach nirvana? How many mothers popped ugly babies for society to enact this rule? The baddie was a borderline dystopian with comic book strokes. If the rulers can manipulate the people to overhaul ugly, why go to the next extreme? The beauty is for whom? I liked Nose better before he turned into a Final Fantasy character. The movie made me self conscious of the lead's looks. I was judging them constantly to see if she fit the part. All she needed was a bath. The finale was maddening. You mean the baddies could have done that all along? Why did they need Tally for? Her relationship with Nose had a heartbeat but her new buddy happens too swiftly and coincidentally to kick. Nose closure was a post-it from somebody else's refrigerator. I wished Croy was Smoke. Feelings coming back after transitioning wasn't explored enough to be convincing. Wouldn't creating fires to escape the enemy create an air map to their location? Skate surfing scenes uplifted but forging through the woods to bring grandma back is stark. It was not painful watching it until the end. 18-Sep-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Cheeky Acting, Coincidence Laden, Cold, Crapfun, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Relationships, SciFi, Silly, Stupid Funny, Timid, Vague, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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18-Sep-2024


Wake Up - Imagine Dragons 

Wake Up

Silk Fan

Savage

Manohari

4 Minutes

Line Dancing

Dilemmi

John Reed

Tags: Celebrity, Daddy Squish, Dance, Dancer, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Portrait, Reinterpreted, Respect, Re-tooled, Sexy, Tribute, Video

Filed under: Music

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04-Sep-2024


Bromans UK (2017-) Arf

An International Male catalog with skimpy naked men that should be licked. 31-Aug-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Game Show, Hilarious, History, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Pretty, Reality, Relationships, Sports, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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31-Aug-2024


Love Is Blind UK (2024-) Woof

Reunion. There was no reason to invite Sam if he was going to wear pants. The ladies pounced on him because he professed a truth every lady should hear. Bobby is the perfect night lamp. Freddie is a smitten god that doesn't need puny shows to get laid. I don't know why Ollie is a god, he just is. Steven. I knew it wasn't going to work out when he showed up in a bikini and had nothing holding it up except that amazing body. 30-Aug-2024
Ollie was served a new contract that stipulated success if he didn't stray. How boring of him. He is what them ladies dream of every night. He needs to let his Bogart loose. Catherine had no business to elicit an orgasm in front of his fiancee and friends. Demi will hang on tight even when she's slipping. I opinionated that Steven deserves perfect scores for body and insecurity. No. My J.I. Joes did not look as buff as him. Tom is a frightening peak-a-boo daddy. The man is an awkward moment with a controlled body. Every couple should invite Sam over for a threesome and film the whole thing for 10 million dollars. Conor may be carved from stone but she craves thunder. Maria hearts business. When Booby met his future mother-in-law he farted inwards. Benaiah seems like a good man that needs a tune-up and lots of attention. Nicole yucked things up with a Joker smile. 19-Aug-2024
S1E5. Guess what, somebody sucked Benaiah's dick and it was sweet. Cat created a stir when she confronted Ollie and added a mental orgasm to the conversation. All the couples felt it. I even think Demi got accidentally sprayed. The woman with the most perfect man in the world found better chemistry with a god. Ollie cannot be left alone. Catherine caused a stir when her nice gesture found no moral support. Somebody was trading secret fast food recipes for hot salsa lunches. Sam. Have you seen the gams on that bitch? We can't encourage people to be themselves. They might not become us. 15-Aug-2024
The host represents a variety of genders and his wife is a Big Brother connoisseur. Sam is faithful. He kept it all about himself. Steven is like extra sushi on date night. Tom will be safe if he finds where she really is at. Ollie is the guy you forgive when he cheats because he might stalk you and he's godly. Freddie. What punishment is he enduring to lower his standards of excellence? I'd be wary of him. Connor was a gilded chocolate melting on a hollow grave. I would have faked it with Bobby for one more fuck. Benaiah needs someone to pull his hair and suck his dick. 10-Aug-2024

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Chemistry, Choices, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Hot Swatch, Insecurities, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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30-Aug-2024


...he has one of world's largest penises  

 

A British artist with a Jamaican accent when he raps is 'seriously thinking' about monetising his huge willy in exchange for a multi-million pound OnlyFans deal.

...he has one of world's largest penises

MORTIFIED after 'ruining' friend's wedding photos with his enormous WEDGIE

The longest penis sizes around the world

Inside the big D-list

The truth about ‘summer penis’

Country with the biggest average penis size in the world

Tags: $, Ass, Big Cock, Business, Celebration, Celebrity, Entertainment, Funny, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Music, NSFW, Photos, Portrait, Service, Sex, Size, Social Media, Study, Wedding, World, World Record

Filed under: Gay+

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25-Aug-2024


Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga (2024) Woof

Taylor-Joy shared her thoughts by creating a narrative we could understand, sparkling eyes wasn't given enough artillery to establish a heartfelt character that could pump the breaks and let you feel, Hemsworth establishes that his Thor-type villain is not to be fucked with, the director's vision infected the tech crew. They lived up to expectations. Action sequences were bombastic and artistic. The war scenes confused but they didn't disappoint. The mythology skipped key details that would have granted an Anna/Charlize showdown. I needed more information to explain how a girl succeeds in a filthy society that wants to purge. (I would have made little and middle Furiosa big Furiosa's daughters and have one of her instant love interests be the questionable father.) The team-up would be awesome. There wasn't enough odyssey to landscape the people but it sure looked great. 24-Aug-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Music Swings, SciFi, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, War, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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24-Aug-2024


Our Blushing Brides (1930) Woof

Three working girls put their retirement on speed. The only way a woman could claim early retirement was to meet a man of privilege. The women were protective of each other and the men were perverse. The fate of all three women are different. By the end, the film relinquishes its madcap wit for serious drama. Joan Crawford was the big sister every friend needed. When lady Joan ignited, it was firecracker. Her character seemed to contradict herself, though. She couldn't succumb to a sexy one night stand with her dream date. Really? Dude, he had the most lavish treehouse ever. It had retracting stairs! And a view! Robert Montgomery was a pretty little thing that happenened to be the boss of the store the girls sold and modeled for. They wore new fashion to convince snobby zillas, they were attractive. Acting was pure, the funny had limits, and Lady Joan roared. 14-Aug-2024

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Comedy, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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14-Aug-2024


Love Island UK (2019-) BitesUpgrade

Women are pursuing these motherfuckers because there is a cash prize at the end, correct? I don't remember Reuben. There was nothing to latch onto. Josh must choose to be blacker or whiter. Yes, I had a doll that looked like Blade. Hugo combs his hair in reverse. I bet Konnor is a fantastic one nighter. Will must be hung. Joey is a doll. Sean is Jimmy Oleson. Ayo, we pray for you. I would have barbecued Trey like he was a lobster. Moziah reeks of beauty and nature. Ciaran has too many identities going on. 11-Jul-2024

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Foreign, From Another Planet, Fun Acting, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Manipulation, NSFW, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preachy, Predictable, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Safety, Scary, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Static, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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29-Jul-2024


House of Heat (2024-) Arf

They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Crapfun, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Horror, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Politics, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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29-Jul-2024


Graduate, The (1967) Full Moon

The film ponders thoughts of a future that exists against a romantic and sexual adventure. Besides the latin porn movies my parents took me to, this was my second time in a legit movie theatre. My lesbian aunt thought I should be exposed to art. I was embarrassed, though. The film rated higher than my intelligence. I did discover the secrets the adults were hiding and it was fascinating. Dustin Hoffman delivered cool vibes and technical practice. Anne Bancroft's controversial stamp is unmistakable. She was every straight boy's dream and every gay's nightmare. She established the cougar. She was to play Joan in Mommie Dearest but didn't. "What ifs" kept pouncing in my head. If Katherine Ross is nothing like her characters, I will cry. Talks are grown-up, defensive and obligatory. Direction is artistic and historic. 17-Jul-2024

Tags: 1960s, Best In Drama, Chemistry, Classic, Director's Achievement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

Filed under: Movies

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17-Jul-2024


Perfect Match (2023-) ArfUpgrade

Finale. Nick rocked a shorts suit and I liked it. The stylist that decided to put long pants on Harry should've been reprimanded. Mama mia worked extra shifts so as not to return home to her daughter. I think I know why I made my GI Joe Kaz a bottom. Bryton won the thigh competition and a motorboat invitation. If Nigel were a GI Joe I would play with him. Izzy's date with Jessica consisted of him being an upside down Spider-Man dripping sweat down her throat. It all went downhill fast. He came to life at the party and looked like an adorable in shorts and white socks. Prince Eric tried to convince the voters that he was in love with his mermaid. She wasn't just a catch. The mermaid was caught off guard and sounded even phonier. The contestants voted with their hearts and surprised everyone. It had an I hate you all vibe. 22-Jun-2024
Hot diggity damn, Nick! Full shots of hunky men sitting in shorts while confessing, was priceless. Nick was naughty. Jess is so independent that she can raise her daughter without ever being seen. Harry. Why do men always have to explain themselves? Harry kept repeating Jess' daughter's name like he knew her for years so she would believe him and fall in love. "Jess, fuck his brains out until he can't walk but do not bring him home." All Harry wants is a luxurious leg massage and to be reminded of how beautiful they are. The men stood up for themselves by being quiet. The girls fought amongst their own with no perfect match to support them. When Kaz decided to sample, I understood his psychology. Beauty belongs to everyone. Perfect match should see him alone at toga parties. The blonde with the tresses and the big eyes looks like Emma Stone. Prince Eric's mindset lacked etiquette and consideration. A shark. Izzy did his best. He sort of memorized the producer's script and there were cue cards everywhere he looked but dude couldn't stop being awkward. I still dig the face. 15-Jun-2024
I always returned G.I. Joe Kaz to his manly state. Even though I washed the make-up off there were shadows. The moment Pazuzu noticed, G.I. Joe Kaz mysteriously disappeared. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2-5. Harry was not stirring my pot until I noticed his thigh to leg ratio. I boiled, my lid began to shake, float and rise. I noticed that there was a lot of that. It almost repaired my soul. When Jessica confessed to having a child, Harry asked where she was. Exactly! We've seen more of Jessica than her daughter has. Prince Eric from an off-broadway production of The Little Mermaid was returned to sea many times but somebody always rescued him. Fuck, I'd probably rescue him too if he didn't talk. I will ask no questions before night, night and I need to call him Eric. The sea is full of mermaids. My other G.I. Joe doll looked like Kaz. He was a soldier in green combats. I tore up his uniform, created a wig out of his undershirt, painted his face and made G.I. Joe Nick fuck the shit out of him. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2. Ack! 08-Jun-2024
S2E1. We don't watch Izzy because of the way he talks, we just want to lick him and squish him. Izzy hooked up with a goddess, it took him 23 minutes to finish. He spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom and three minutes convincing her it would be good for her career. Nick almost lifted his skirt. Thighs for a later episode? Boy, he's got some daddy legs. Nice. He looked like one of the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid but shinier. Some cocky dink bragged that he was gifted a cookie for providing a great fuck. Dude, I got a whole house and did nothing! Stevan's tattoos were more aggressive than he was. The soft boys were being traded for angry chokesters they can't control. Women have permission to be promiscuous if they sign off on it. 08-Jun-2024
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Over the Top, Relationships, Sex, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wig Crack

Filed under: TV

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22-Jun-2024


Ryan Garcia’s Most Shocking Claims! 

 

He reportedly said, “F*** Michael B. Jordan. F*** Michael B. Jordan. He ain’t say sh*t either. This dude’s a b*tch, bro. Literally, I met him in person. He’s a b*tch.”

Ryan Garcia’s Most Shocking Claims!

Freddy P Adds to Diddy Rumors

Ryan Garcia said he’s ‘gay’ if he took steroids

UFC champ Jon Jones just became ensnared in a very bizarre “gay” controversy

Millie Bobby Brown in Danger Following Drake Pedophile Allegation

AN intruder tried to break into Drake's Toronto mansion

Cuba Gooding Jr. speaks out on Lil Rod’s allegations against him

Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs seen physically assaulting Cassie Ventura

Justin Bieber Gave Odell Beckham Jr. Oral Sex At Diddy Party

Boosie Badazz Slams Rappers For “Playing Gay”

Tags: Celebration, Celebrity, Drugs, Experience, Gay, Gossip, Hollywood, Hot Swatch, Latinos, LGBTQ, Men In Charge, Music, Pederasty, Relationships, Sex, Sexual Harassment, Sports, Threat, Video, Violence, Winning

Filed under: Gay+

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20-Jun-2024


Bridgerton (2020-) WoofUpgradeHowl

Colin loved Penelope like a brother and took passion out of romance. She should've courted Eloise, or at least, Genevieve. A lesbian wedding a must enjoyment. Polly Parker convicted herself as a single woman having to do it all. Two daughters are spoiled and the other lives on social media clouds. Polly turned a villain into a worthy victim and the daughters were hilarious. Cressida is a character for the ages. Madsen slipped into gregarious outfits and ate evil little bitch as a protein. She was awesome. Nicola supplied the right amount of blood. I think Bailey was wasting his humps on a pillow. His wife checked out. Easy fix. She transforms into a man and returns as the beautiful black prince from the first season. The wife wont get fired. They can dedicate a season or two to exploring how she became. I will have a squish party if the boxer comes out or disrobes (not in front of the wife, of course.) It transports us to a beautiful, outlandish, artistic world. 19-Jun-2024
S3E5. The only bump I want to see is on Jonathan Bailey's bum. Colin did not eat Pen like a french pastry and she didn't knock the salt off his pretzel. Intimacy skied into sibling fuckery in frozen waters. He needed to tongue her down, squeeze and suck the shit out of that bounty and impress her and us with Bridgerton "John Holmes" dick. Excellence returned with a sense of humor. Mama and daughter Bridgerton need to swap partners. One deserves a virgin and the other is boring. Can Will Mondrich come out too? 17-Jun-2024
Interracial coupling was not natural. Mrs. Bridgerton didn't freak out and the daughter didn't scream rape because he was dainty, dark and didn't like to talk. 28-May-2024
Are we ever going to see a man work? The owner/bartender doesn't count. He only serves drinks when he's there which is rare. 28-May-2024
Season 3. The most edible one needs to stop the presses. Is it always going to be about the denial that hate is love, marriage is a must and density will guide the way? I mean't destiny. I'm disappointed. The black talent brought it up a notch. Lowering it would have added character depth. "You wowed us." "Provoke me to empathize."
 28-May-2024
Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Nostalgic, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Touching, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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19-Jun-2024


Mean Girls (2023) Arf

A rom-com is conversion therapy for those who don't believe in fairy tales. I saw a handheld camera at the beginning and almost blacked out but then something cute happened. It moved like Grease and had the aroma of a pink lady. It kept me in with mixed results. The music had word limitations and they repeated nonsensical lines that make only cartoon baby sharks squeak. Was no thesaurus available when the music was written? The mean girls were lame and avenged by dorky plans. The cast was bubbly. The lesson was that anybody can be a mean girl. You fix her by allowing her to steal someone else's hot dick to fuck and hope she never calls you again. 10-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Musical, Over the Top, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jun-2024


Dune: Part Two (2024) Howl

Austin Butler looked better than he sounded. He used the fake voice most employees imitate when they are calling in sick. Florence Pugh was lost in a maze with no destination or exit in sight. Chalamet looked good doing what was expected. Zendaya sparkled and brought emotions forward. Javier Bardem stole acting honors by not letting his character stumble and being action relief. Denis Villeneuve mapped the film majestically and proved there are prettier things than TC. Story wrapped so it can move on. Well done. 04-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Sequel, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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04-Jun-2024




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