All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'
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Somebody Up There Likes Me (1956)

Rocky was a criminal with a violent streak that learned to harness his rage and become a boxing champion. A boxer fights until he is bested and the beast subsides. The story is decisive and instructive. Newman found the soul the tribute demanded. The supporting cast shook like broadway during an earthquake. The show must go on. The fighting was desperate and raw. The soul was accurately apparent and the film strived for perfection. 17-Jul-2023
Deep Fake Love (2023-)

S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023
Witcher, The (2019-) 

The half season was a trip down Xena memory lane without the charms of Xena, Gabrielle and or thrilling action. The action suffered from premature ejaculation. Over before it begins. GOT talk keeps reminding us how powerful Ciri is. Isn't three seasons enough time to finally see it and not constantly hear about it? I'd recast with more charisma and revamp with better professionals. Replacing just the main character is going to be wonky and talky and I want them all to feel as uncomfortable as I felt watching this season. I shifted interest in character to decipher if the actors really liked each other. 06-Jul-2023
S3E2. I'm savoring them/him. I hear GOT talk incessantly. That is not the cure for acceptance or sleepiness. 04-Jul-2023
S3E1: A toxic female can destruct a man's mythology but his heroism will reign supreme. Welcome back, daddy. 03-Jul-2023
Daddy dropped the hush a notch and it was sexy. A daddypalooza overwrote the overwrought female wokeness. The RPG "come to life" was fun. The mythology became a scientific equation instead of a scientific marvel. Can we find another solution to good girl being possessed by evil besides giving her a conscious? Bummer. Istredd. Boom! Dijkstra. Yes! Joey Batey. Lick, yeah! Neneke. Your highness. Daddy Supe speaks for itself. The females need more realism and the mythology needs better surprises. 27-Dec-2021
Daddy is something else but it was the ladies that kept me glued. 18-Jan-2020
Of course, I'm disquieted by the froggish whisper of the Witcher but he delivers comitted action moves and steady alpha charisma. Interspersed characterization maintains the show's freshness. (Is it part of its mythology that all pretty twinks get killed?) 15-Jan-2020
Porn Theatre (2004)

Before social media, gay men congregated in straight porn theaters for sex and sympathy. They made money, were entertained, became excited, desired, it curbed loneliness and they got to fuck some woman's husband. Drags, trans and sissy boys roamed the theater like rats, scurrying around, scoping the cheese and avoiding the light while cheese daddy sat still with his legs wide open, waiting to be licked clean for respect and/or money. Street King Daddy shit. Sex is thrust upon us. It makes the impact real. The hunt is on. Sexual simulation stimulated when real or fake. Conversations skillfully explained where the community was at. Some of the players counted how many big dicks they sucked that night. Were they given a discount? The ticket manager was a sad hetero too old to attract a fuck. She thinks that convincing a gay crush to marry her would become an arrangement they both could enjoy. I could see it as a Broadway musical. It takes very little time to establish character purpose and that's great for the film. It provides the map to how we got here. 27-Jun-2023
Fantastic Four (2005)

If you left kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, expecting the movie to pop them, it does not. The origin story is deprived of force because of its oversimplification. Only three members achieved not looking foolish in their embodiments. Chris Evans steals everything with his bad boy swag, partial nudity and up to your imagination charm. Michael Chiklis was turned to brick, his eyes the main conveyor and I felt him. Kerry Washington was brave to enact being blind and fucking a brick dick. Ion Gruffud was chosen from a dork photo line-up. Jessica Alba decided to go bronze skin with blonde hair which is irrelevant to who she's portraying. I always envisioned Sue Storm as a mature-minded leader. Every breath Alba shared, purred, "I'm sexy, are you going to marry me or what?" According to the film, Sue Storm has no reason to powerfully exist except to stop traffic, plea for love, get undressed and be invisible. She's no Barbara Bain. Julian Macmahon's Dr. Doom made my popcorn explode with a whimper. He acted like he was in a live comic book written by those Power Rangers people. He cheapened the film. The film is more excited about what effects can do than establishing a purpose for a character's existence. Action is in a rush to move on and be forgotten. Its enjoyable but "let's put it in the kids' dvd section, for now. 16-Jun-2023
Married At First Sight UK (2015-)

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023
Superman & Lois (2021-)

Invisible sister jumped off the screen, again. I couldn't see her, at all. The Amazing Valdez returned. Him and Lana found the cure for teenage angst... slave wages. Clark giving Valdez a super flick was everything. I'm sure his ass tightened instantaneously. Peia's dilemma kept us interested, the cast blended more and Superman is a dick for allowing anyone to cut Lois' tits off. I thought about his explanation for not using alien tech to save his wife. It's a privilege of consequences. He shouldn't save anyone, then. Ever. It's the same type of interference. I think I fucked up the mythology for myself. 07-Jun-2023
A magic spell not concocted with superpowers. Lana Lang and Sam Lane hooking up. Yay! 10-May-2023
The episode where I lost respect for Superman. Bruno one upped Clark's manhood by giving a million fucks for his dying wife while the Supe has technology that can save his but wont. The boys care enough to do everything to save their mom but she's waiting for Superman to become one. Clark Kent has become background wallpaper. Is Sarah's first lesbian affair going to happen with that Beppo woman? Ack! I actually felt sorry for Lana. The Amazing Valdez was missing and the invisible sister went invisible again. 05-May-2023
S3E6. It wrung emotions that overwhelmed the mythology. It's a well liked family drama with hillbilly charm. Like an aunt. Superman has no concerns about Superboy except teaching him how to hide for safety. A teen with superpowers of mixed cosmic race has no sexual malfunctions, ever? The Kents just want to be part of the team (earth). The boring part. They finally gave Lois a good excuse to not put food in her mouth. Lana's invisible child is given an abandonment storyline so a Kent can inspire her quest to save the world in the future and because the writers couldn't write another male fucking thing. Why does someone always know where the missing kid might have gone? That rose faced lady bothers me. Erik Valdez is auditioning for Jimmy Oleson, undercover. Wow, he has massles. He's hyped as fuck. What an adorable prick. He's fucking the town crier and the person Lana and the kids are most likely to bump into and he doesn't give a shit. Out of respect, he should try finding his steady fucks out of town. Why didn't they shave Chad Coleman and make him Lex? Why does Clark act like he's getting fired at a button's notice? Dude, kill it. I know they're not as cute as those wolf fuckers but fuck that, go wild. Touch Lana's ex latin prick's ass and make them pop. Laser the buttons off the snitch's blouse as she sits by the prick and have Lana and the kids show up. If the Kents start wearing cowboy hats and line dancing we know the button has been pushed. What's ok for the Ewings on Dallas is off base for comic book heroes. We devoured the comic adventures because it allowed entry into a world where fantasy science could inspire the gifted to take on the fight, leave real life misery behind and take our imagination to justice. We watched Dallas because they were fun, conniving, evil, drunk, violent, cheating, thieving, dreaming and killing assholes, like our families without the luxury, class or survival skills. The show is homebound. 29-Apr-2023
S3E6. Clark goes to death therapy to support Lois. Clark summarizes that his chances of death are kryptonite based and the threat of it doesn't happen often. He doesn't understand why his super sperm didn't save her. It helped Lana and she became mayor of Toontown. 27-Apr-2023
Oh, no. Are they going to change the name to "The Women and Clark"? 23-Mar-2023
I smell a Lana & Lois season. They already found a way to have daddy Supe lapse into comas. Lana banned all Kent men from her lesbian daughter and herself. They are toxic. She would have banned her ex-husband too but he needs to pay her rent. Sometimes daddy Supe appears to be the same height as Lana. 10-Jun-2022
Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022
Succession (2018-2023) 


Sticks were lit. Just when I thought someone needed to slap Greg, he gets into a brawl. Baby prince stays hurt because his stick is not invincible, it didn't absolve him from violence. Kendall conjured many joyous and catastrophic emotions impressively. It's all about Shiv. Bound by family and inheritance but destined to never ascend the heights of her brothers' success and doomed to feel cheated. The only thing she can own, with no help from her dysfunctional family, is how she wants to live. Mattson was a prickly genius. Mother In Charge was defiant in her opinions and uttered her lines like they were Mr. Freeze popsicles. The best way to deal with family angst is to join it, beat it or annihilate it. The series dealt with all of it. Even emotionally dead mother fuckers can teach you that. 29-May-2023
Roman broke his stick. Daddy Prince sat and ate his stick. Shiv grew a different kind of stick. Greg towering over Mattson made my stick hard. The boredom and responsibility of a funeral was deftly created. Everyone was pondering death or trying to ignore it. Shiv is most like her father. 22-May-2023
Shiv is an accomplice to earth's destruction. The reds are absolutely wrong about everything but are our only salvation. A parent's misery festers like a ghost. It clings to others but is disabled by future reference. I want to shove a stick up Greg's ass and lick his face. I want to pay Shiv to shove anything up Tom's ass. I want to lick daddy's supreme balls as he describes how it feels like to eat a bacon cheeseburger. Mattson is a foot in our mouths. Connor is on the list of ok must fucks. I hope it strangles us in the end. 19-May-2023
I give a fuck! 19-Apr-2023
S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women sewed their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is a game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him, again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cocky. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:
Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick
Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick
Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them
Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose
J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick
Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019
Queen Charlotte (2023)

The garden starts to grow as soon as we catch a glimpse of it. Characters bloom, the younglings master the post artists and the older generation is A-list. Storytelling is compact with cultural explanations and detailed mystery comprehension. When things unravel they make sense. Young Charlotte trained smartly. Young Agatha was sumptuously gifted. She gave great face. Princess Augusta wrecked as an anti-villain. Young George was a beautiful broken piece of perfection. When he didn't move he looked like a doll. Young Brimsley was the cutest thing. He did not look like his future self because one is a pocket and the other is not but he was so squeezable that I thought the blonde semi-God didn't deserve him. Queen Charlotte: half of her title is fact. Diction was created so Lady Danbury can splatter it with harmony. Beauteous, courteous fiction. 19-May-2023
Sweet Tooth (2021-)

Still sweet. 04-May-2023
S2E5. The focus is on getting Big Man and Mama Bear back to the mutant cubs they've created a family with. We believe as they believe that if they don't get their kids back that life is not worth living. The effects are unintentionally hilarious when conveying the beauty and gift of a special child. That mole rat thing is a cute concept poorly executed. The effects aren't Grogu appealing. The children are Lost Boys, the crocodiles are humans and the magic is religion and perversion. It succeeds in holding our attention until the hugs, through violence, become fruition. It shifts from adult doomsday affairs to wonderland realities but somehow they coalesce because the soul is in the right place. That's admirable. Please upgrade Netty Flix tech. 02-May-2023
A pandemic has caused mass human destruction. The world is granted new life by hybrid child animals that are immune. The hybrids are thought the cause of the perish and are hunted to death, experimented on or socially excused. Baby Doe Boy loses the father that kept him swirling in fantasy and safe. Ultimate daddy bear is introduced along with others as they interconnect with doe boy's big adventure to find his mother. The boy is naive and wondrous to a world that hates him because they don't know him. He's so cute. So he thinks. Nonso Anozie has man tearing hands and squishy hugs. It's violently sweet. 07-Jun-2021
Adam Had Four Sons (1941)

It zipped through chapters as if only one page was allowed for each. They wasted Ingrid Bergman's haloed face and Susan Hayward's whiskey voiced bad girl. 19 year old governess develops feelings for a grandpa daddy, his perfect boys and ailing wife. The boys become attached and she becomes like family. She weaves in and out of their lives spanning years of separation. She returns to some really handsome adult sons and never aging grandpa for no reason other than a promise and bottled up hope. The brothers are fighting the war and a brother has brought a disruption into their home. Susan Hayward is that thing that keeps it chaotic while laughing about it. I didn't know it was a custom, in the 1900's, for women to kiss men on the mouth willy nilly. It was so ahead of its time I couldn't stop laughing. She made out with grandpa or any attractive man or boy that looked her way. She marries one, seduces another and maybe another until it becomes deadly. It squeezed too much history and information to empathize with and the bitch showdown consisted of Ingrid Bergman packing the whore's clothes and maybe shoving her down the stairs. 20-Apr-2023
Horror In The High Desert (2021)

I don't know if I would have reacted so strikingly if I knew that it wasn't what it was. I think blind is the proper way to see it and befits the mock ending. The acting is the accuracy that sells the illusion. The words and direction built interest, tension and fright. Giving the villain an excuse was a misstep because it lets the cat out of the bag. It kicked Blair Witch's ass. 20-Apr-2023
Love Is Blind (2020)

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)
Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023
Night Agent, The (2023-)

The lead clicks likability instantaneously, precipitating the enjoyment of the series' machinations. The Vice President's daughter is a messy princess who thinks she's cool but is treated like a boob. The carry-on luggage is at the center. She stays where you put her, she can defend herself, she will succeed if she listens to everything he says and she does all the thinking. The boss from hell was transmitting from another planet. The class of spy thriller it was trying to emulate crumbles towards the end. The soap opera lacked cum juice, TV vs Film manifestations plundered and the agent guarding her bff needed to do push ups and lighten up. To avoid looking stiff, use only what's on your face. 06-Apr-2023
Law Of The Jungle, The (2023)

There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023