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All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'

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Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a pouch that's full. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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23-Feb-2024


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

The native american showed up at couples retreat because he wanted to make sure that his black ex-wife knows that he isn't red. Hypocrisy found something to love about Prince. His pets. There is no better way to announce you're gay than with pearls. Dracula's wife is an unfortunate character written by Alfred Hitchcock. Is blood supposed to look that fake? Tomato sauce is thick and fiery not runny pink. Goldilocks is not the bear we think she is. He hates fish. Somebody fucked 50 lbs off Pastor Cal. Did Pastor Cal suggest to the purple bride to open her legs and allow the purple badness to do its job? They are not strangers! 14-Feb-2024
Why did Prince's bride and family act like they were in on something and were late cancelling their ironclad contract? They sent Dr. Pia to check how the viagra treatments were working on Austin and Brennan. Two different outcomes from men that only have a fear of vagina in common. Austin said fuck it, how bad can it be but looked ready for anyone from production to step in and take over. Dude was acting like his boyfriend was watching. Dr. Pia could not intimidate the russian. The drips were making him hostile but not rapey. One look from him and Dr. Pia's vagina stretched to oblivion. She no longer felt like the confident woman that she was hired to be. Attractiveness is turning others into water puddles with just one look. He deserves that too. 18-Jan-2024
The russian got crucified for having no attraction to his stranger wife. An expert recommended attraction conversion therapy. The women didn't understand. He said he's not attracted to her and if he says why it'll embarrass her. Maybe her pussy stinks. That's the truth women demand but refuse to listen to. The man doesn't need to be straight jacketed because a woman doesn't give him a woody. It's sexual coercion. 27-Dec-2023
S17E7. Never ever gift a couple a knife. It tears the relationship. Boy, that lady really didn't want to marry Prince. He withstood it and lavished us with too much presence. Was he enjoying the self pity? People need to realize their limitations and not use it to make others feel awkward for the sake of good tv. It appears he receives redemption. Isn't that against the rules? To insure less mishaps the producers must be required to describe something about him to the the girl strangers, missing the point of the show. It felt staged. It could have been Dr. Viviana in that wedding dress for all we know. I wish. I miss her. She and those cats. She was hilarious. I'm calling this the canine season because at least, more than one person is married to a dog. Not a thighmaster among them. The russian has something but acts like he's on a mission we don't want to know about. The black bride got shafted. Her husband thinks that being native gives him the authority to be right. We are all from tribes. Some tribes progress while others cling to a past that helps no one. Treaties fail, antagonism builds, a war is fought and a tribe loses. Instead of accepting the loss, they grudge and make it harder for progressive tribes to prosper and aide them, without guilt. Without the indian war, slavery or America, we wouldn't exist. My darling woman, dump him. He will never work out and his family will punish you. We are humans first. Oh, no. I just thought. They wouldn't dare hire a blind girl for Prince, right? 26-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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14-Feb-2024


Griselda (2024-) WoofUpgradeHowl

Actors can imitate, shadow or channel. The spirit of Griselda settled methodically into Sofia's lap and guided her. Sofia sent Sofia packing to become a woman with big ideas, deadly fallouts and constant misery. Sofia adds sexy beast to a woman who suffered for her imperfections. The woman who bested men used them for protection. The males were war and sex machines for the women who freed themselves from prostitution to commit worst crimes whilst using men as shields. The series served enough tension and thought-provoking arguments to whiz by without losing it's magic. Sofia was gangbang great. I never saw Sofia. I saw a 3D character. She stymied her accent and enunciated. She rocked fashion you can feel. She kicked ass like she's done it. Her attack dog was a beautiful thing and the support were menacingly good. A woman kills when she is angry, a man kills when he has to. 09-Feb-2024
S1E3. The lady is slashing tires like a fiery latina. Good girl. 08-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bio, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Lifestyle, Macho Posing, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Spanish, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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09-Feb-2024


Society Of The Snow (2023) Full Moon

Identity doesn't matter when nature dumps you into oblivion. You identify with minute things that only matter to you. Everyone is entrapped for the same reason. Bad luck. It doesn't take long to establish that the boys are silly and well-trained survivors. Disasters had me living it, the actors kept me spiritually attuned and the writers broke my heart. Every thought was represented and dealt with. These super athletes deserved their status. Hoo-ray for everyone. The director decided not to shock and that was successful. We react to nature and god as a threat. Evolution is necessary for survival but not very good on the brain. Cognitive, intelligent and free thinking. We journeyed, felt and cried. Excellence was it's goal and it tilted. The director played it like soccer. 12-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Bio, Brutal, Chemistry, Director's Achievement, Director's Art, Disaster, Foreign, Foreign: Spanish, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Psychological, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak

Filed under: Movies

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12-Jan-2024


Aura - Dennis Lloyd 

Aaron Taylor Johnson

Kylie

Timothee

Michael B.

Tom Holland

Thongs

Jeremy Allen

Megan The Stallion

Shawn Mendes

Tags: Celebrity, Dance, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Music, Psychological, Reimagined, Respect, Re-tooled, Sexy, Tribute, Video

Filed under: Music

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10-Jan-2024


Transformers: Rise Of The Beast (2023) ArfUpgrade

I did not invest in the toy as a baby but I recognized the maximals. A Galactus storyline without a shake-up but a re-do. Mr. Ramos didn't calculate a silly side that would make him empathetic and fun. He was too hot to be so serious. The bots are everything. Barbies can't function like bots unless they turn purple. Pete Davison was convincing and sorta funny as a typical black dude with gay bot tendencies.. 07-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Crapfun, Director Movement, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Relationships, Tight Effects, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Jan-2024


Foe (2023) Whimper

The performances were award worthy and the men, ass ripping but the story remained too abstract to give the film much punch. There wasn't enough information about how the outside world worked to care what occurred in small spaces. My brain exploded when Saiorise's character deduced that maybe we were looking down at the sky. That would mean that earth was upside down. I couldn't grasp the idea of looking down to find my blue clouds and sunshine. The end adds it all up but the director did not distribute enough interesting bits throughout. Entertainment was Pet Sematary inspired. 06-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Oncer, Over the Top, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Slow, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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06-Jan-2024


My Life With The Walter Boys (2023-) WoofDowngradeArfEarly Exit

Trailer: I noticed she wakes up. It turned me and lady Davis off. 04-Jan-2024
S1E2. The fastest way to get over your whole family dying is to be surrounded by cute white boys. I feel comfortable in the space that's created. The newbies are training and the writers are suppressing cliches. The mother replacement needs prioritization. Her boys are toxic because she can't command them unless daddy steps in. She should teach them respect, about happy fairy tale endings, their wicked ways and how to shut them down. Cute but pleasant. 23-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Amiable, Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Early Exit, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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04-Jan-2024


Big Sleep, The (1946) Woof

As soon as Humphrey Bogart admitted that he was short he set the design for his character. He was also aware that his magnetism made up for any shortcomings and that he made women swoon. The women he encountered were self-sufficient and magnificent. Hair was at its loveliest, the fashion was fit, make-up was transformative and the ladies acted their asses off. It was a fast paced script that had actors spilling words over each other. The wit was non-stop and I laughed throughout. A private investigator is hired to find out whose blackmailing a man's daughter. Private investigates, flirts with the victim, flirts with her older sister, investigates, had sexy banter with many women, becomes overwhelmed by the mystery and never turns down the character's sadistic rizz. What they didn't do is not as important as what they did. Bogart was masterclass, Bacall made cigarettes sexy, the mystery intrigued and it's cool as fuck. 31-Dec-2023

Tags: 1940s, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Classic, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Funny, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

Filed under: Movies

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31-Dec-2023


Saltburn (2023) Howl

Society encourages mental illness to mingle so more people can catch it. The mystery is set up beautifully, actors are undemanding and sites are divine. Is this a sequel to Killing of a Sacred Deer? The nod was a cute wink. The cast was invested in inhabiting words, statuses, empathy and star quality. Barry Keoghan was set loose as a guest of hierarchy that investigates more than he should. The cure for anorexia is having disgusting sex. The best way to maintain a friendship is to crowd them. Barry is brave with his surprises. He gave me a hardon but then I replaced him with that french dude and I came. 25-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Best In Gay, Brutal, Director's Art, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Psychological, Relationships, Sexy, Star Stud, Star Watt, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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25-Dec-2023


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

A sissy charter boarded to incite havoc. Did Captain Sandy plant those dirty towels to force Tumi into authority? Kyle is either hopelessly in love or in big trouble. The new cast has not clicked yet so we give them a pass. Max complained about being underfed so the ladies tossed him in a salad and ate him alive. The man was trying to say, I can eat the same food everyday, if its good. If straight guys want to sexualize females, follow the gays. Sit and watch as they convince the women to do as "he" wants. Shouldn't security be investigating and shutting down a boat with more than one illness? I hope it wasn't the food. 07-Sep-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Lesbian, LGBTQ, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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25-Dec-2023


Rebel Moon: A Child On Fire (2023) Woof

The handsomest director in Hollywood makes a movie of wonder. It's a what if Star Wars account of what a boy imagines. The movie is crisp and lighting glows with clarification. He brought all the elements but kept it, mostly western. The effects glide, Anthony Hopkins is a beautiful thing, Djimon Hinsou wowed in a semi birthday suit, the alpha bodies were to die for, the story never strayed from its path and the action sequences held. Unfortunately, our heroine was flat, unsympathetic and a cold lesbian killing machine. It was realistic to see a man kick the shit out of a woman, threaten rapes of virgins and pretty straight boys and for races to exist as different societies. Snyder recreates scenarios oft repeated and makes them look bright but not all the senses can see. 23-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Crapfun, Cultish, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Director's Touch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Retread, SciFi, Squish Alert, Tight Effects, Tough, Western, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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23-Dec-2023


Bullit (1968) Howl

Steve McQueen was a blue-eyed splendor with a big cock and a knack for fashion that magnetized his style. Steve is the cop handpicked to protect a witness that will bring down a gangster opponent of the state. The car chase was a masterclass of stunts, choreography and edits. The foot chase was close-up, physically accurate and tense. The lack of music added organic panic to the action. Bissett was breathtaking and accomplished. Its quietude added nervous reality. A cop can't change his fate until everyone is safe. A film to be studied and outdone. An action bible. 09-Dec-2023

Tags: 1960s, Action, Action Fun, Best In Action, Best In Crime Drama, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Inspired, Music Swings, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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09-Dec-2023


Rife: Natural Selection (2023) Woof

The comedian Gen Z deserves. 18-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Comedy, Hot Swatch, Silly, Stand-Up, Sweet Dick Energy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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18-Nov-2023


Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - ) Arf

The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. He was icked by the baby incident and masterclassed he wasn't. He gleamed for Dreamworks but was bored with pretty head yet bounced back for latino flair. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Chemistry, Choices, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Gay, Good Acting, Grating, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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12-Nov-2023




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