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All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'
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Married At First Sight (2014-) 
Can that husband just come out already? How many complaints can he file? Scared of pussy much? He might want to check his preference sheet more carefully. Pastor Cal represented audience sentiment but that fucker didn't budge much. The experiment would experience more happy endings if the contestants were provided constant therapy. 18-Jan-2025
Pia closed shop and failed. What part of being grossed out by a pineapple does the expert not understand? Her job was to separate them into safe spaces, not force her to be in an abusive relationship. It's abusive because Michelle can't stand being with him. Her approach was insulting to me and it was horrendous to women. 18-Dec-2024
S18 E9. I hope Pia got paid extra for doing all the work. There were instances where it felt dangerous for her to confront hostility and the sexual accusations from some of the contestants. Ikechi made it very clear that flirtations from females over 13 years old are offensive. Pia handled herself professionally but the space remained unsafe. Karla is overcome by Juan's beauty. He came on the show to pay for the rest of his plugs so his millionaire boyfriend can pull them. Dude, I'm afraid to ask these guys if they sew. It might be unanimous. I know for a fact that David doesn't sew or do much of anything. It's only a matter of time before he becomes a hut made out of jell-o. Michele needs to be released, a marching band following, David watching, everybody saluting as the whole staff gives him the middle finger. Allen gives me Dustin Hoffman/Liev Schreiber anxiety. Madison always looks like she'd rather be an avenue. I would dig Thomas harder if he didn't snarl so much. It's not a regular snarl either. He really looks angry and rapey. 18-Apr-2024
Astronauts propelled into an apocalyptic earth have to encourage a frightened future society that sun and violence is necessary for survival. Rod Taylor wastes no time getting undressed and that was a good thing but somebody chopped up his story. Future women were equipped with beauty and a desire to experience a man at his most sweaty. Cavemen were created from an atomic blast that made them violent and gave them the capacity to rule the environment. It's a film with good ideas that are jumbled. Future woman was the only realistic effect. They were gorgeous in skimpy space suits. The film couldn't expand on why the cure for everything is to fight. 16-Jan-2025
S2 is missing something. Impact. A feeling of exhaustion permeated and interrupted some of the proceedings. The games didn't rivet, the cast was stereotypically goofy, compassion was limited and sense started to drag. The ship shenanigans didn't have closure or purpose. I presume the save will be last minute in S3. Thinking you can overtake a heavily guarded facility is ludicrous. In life I doubt that a majority of people would choose to die. I wanted to see people go home. Why doesn't anyone hook up? A grab and a rub here and there wouldn't hurt. How do the men deal with morning wood? I'm losing empathy. 04-Jan-2025
If you can't afford happy things, you become bitter, if your are unable to provide, you become addicted and if you can't eat, you die. It's called poverty. A group of instinctual individuals are given the opportunity to have their financial struggles resolved. They have to play children's games that are only safe in rhythm but not rhyme. If you lose, you die. If you win, it's a lot. The characters are specific, writing is a brainstorm and the whole is an abundance of I've never seen anything like this before. 07-Oct-2021
S1E7. The VIPs were from Palm Springs. 05-Oct-2021
S1E4. I am petrified and addicted. 01-Oct-2021
The characters are strong, the funny keeps you laughing, the writing was pensive, passionate and controversial, the originals were fabulous and a black man in a girl's dress is always funny. Once Suzanne and Charlene depart the sizzle and purpose is gone. A talented trio of actors become shadows of the characters they were replacing without a voice of their own. The fatter Delta Burke got the funnier she became. You can feel the antagonism in the writing though. She was saddled with savage criticism and disdain but her talent was her shield. We could have done with less Julia fits but nobody could sell it like Dixie Carter. She was legs, elegance and conviction. Annie Potts liberated herself and her character. She sounded like she could give birth to a McConaughey. Jean Smart aced dumb and won our hearts. The last two seasons are somber and desperate. TG Alice Ghostley and Mr. Taylor are there to be irreverent and hilarious. 30-Dec-2024
I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024
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A British artist with a Jamaican accent when he raps is 'seriously thinking' about monetising his huge willy in exchange for a multi-million pound OnlyFans deal.
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MORTIFIED after 'ruining' friend's wedding photos with his enormous WEDGIE
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What Happened To Monday (2017) 
Glenn Close deserves to play a bona-fide witch. She'd be unforgettable. Willem Dafoe was cerebral and dominant. Marwan Kenzari is unbuckling. At first I thought it was the slicked back hair until I saw his beard. His beard had shadows. I could smell his smoke. What a beautiful beast. It was hardening. Noomi Rapace added texture to all her personalities and made them unique. Some of her guises were marvelous. The future is overloaded with children and the law has issued that families can only have one. A mother dies giving birth to septuplets and dad inherits the burden of keeping 7 sisters safe. He keeps them alive and they thrive until one goes missing. Action sequences were impactful, set-ups were energetic, the actors delivered and the director kept it interesting. 19-Nov-2024
I refuse to start over. 11-Nov-2024
I just thought of something horrific. Is there more? 19-Oct-2024
S1E7. The finale made my eyes cross the other way. WTF? It's a great twist that could have served a better story because, here, it doesn't add up. 17-Oct-2024
The end is near because nothing is making sense. 11-Oct-2024
E4. Michelangelo created the priest's physique out of stuff we can eat. It's a shame he went beyond bonkers. Daughter is holding it steady and that's a good thing. The mystery is so blank that I don't know which imaginative door to open. Seams are showing. There is nothing wrong with working on a budget if we let imagination run amok.There are effects of lonesome kicking in which can lead to isolation. Too much of a good thing is exactly that. 04-Oct-2024
S1E3. Mother and daughter banter is true, the lead is no nonsense splendor and the priest is an orgasm. I have no idea where the series is going but I'll stick to it. Niecy has never been the same since she added irritable to her persona. She dimmed the exaggeration and punctuated the hurt which makes her a must-watch. The nun is as creepy as Bachelorette contestants. The nurse is a hoot vying for our attention. The daughter is invoking a detailed stereotype with respect. Mr. Kelce found Chris Pratt's watt and it fit like a glove. (That's what happened to it?!) The Murfs are not great at endings so I will enjoy the ride while it lasts. 03-Oct-2024
They saved the best for last and her name was Allison Janney. Calling Keri out on her locks was everything I was mentally bitching about. It was enough to shut me up. The season was a cyclone of talent that kept it grandiose. Giyasi is still fuckable and in-charge, Ato gave Stuart human qualities that rendered the character emotionally available, pretty face returned to play the perfect foil to Keri's harried Kate and I forgot that Ali Ahn can act. She was liquid butter. I normally want to squeeze Kinnear's face but his transformation into a scumbag made me respectfully afraid. Keri was the queen holding court and fighting battles like a mama wrecker. The only politic I need. 07-Nov-2024
Kerri Russell rules, the cast is appeasing and her husband is a beautiful daddy-banana distraction. Keri mama wrecks with intelligence, comic skills and a "who gives a fuck attitude." The sense of humor traverses beyond the obvious and bare feelings are portrayed to fulfillment. We were allowed inside the pocket as opposed to watching from a distance. Bless Keri and David Gyasi for creating sparks out of a modern cliche. Whoa, for Gyasi's fabulous sister entertaining the male wife like Scarlett O'hara. He acted like James Bond. Ali Ahn's ulterior motives are aggressive but sweet to her waring partner. Rory Kinnear adds great face, acting chops and the right amount of Tom foolery. The cast is funny and subscribing, the story is sorting and building. I hope the bombing is a surprise. (It was.) 24-Apr-2023
Are You In The House Alone? (1978)
Kathleen Beller was a momentary icon that embodied being the naive girl that falls into temptation and then gets called out for it. Princess is being stalked and nobody gives a shit. Gwyneth's twin mother, Blythe supplies enough misunderstandings to compel her child to rebel. Baby Dennis Quaid's swag was thinking he could make women cum with only his dick. The film begins post crime with warnings and horror elements woven into it but it's not that. It's a sober approach that questions why all rapists can't get convicted. Life has a way of adjusting a lack of human justice though, by cursing the guilty party. "Scream like I screamed, bitch." 03-Nov-2024
The film presents interesting character development, a pace that is amicable and intelligent artists doing their thing. It's a product of 60's liberation. It was lust, sex and jazz. The mirror shots were cool and a stamp of British stroke. Lonely affluent man hires a streetwise butler to care for his expansive home and demands. The relationships are cold and it's hard to get a read on characters. The 50's aspect lulled me comfortably but the transition to the gogo 60's, turned my gut. Unexpected scenarios were aplenty. The film answers all our questions except, "why?" Every person we encounter is a power struggle. 26-Oct-2024
I hope Ramses gets to keep his balls. He didn't know that keeping your balls was part of the experiment. I hope Ashley wakes up from reality and the added expense she has taken on. Keep fucking Tyler but don't give him a kid. Oh and film it. Surrogate, my ass. 23-Oct-2024
Marissa's mother summed everything up. "If you hurt my bitch daughter I will cut your balls off." It's a misnomer to think that love isn't hurt when that's all love is. Yes, we are going to love, fuck it up, change our minds, get the yucks, find others attractive, cheat, maybe, doubt, feel, die, get sick, get better, repeat ourselves, transition, evolve and escape. A thin Hannah on TV sounds like a horrific thing. I think it is beneficial that Ramses switches team. Taylor and Garrett don't gel because they fit. Nick needs to win an award for "Most Tolerant Contestant Without Resorting to Violence." Ashley needs to fuck Tyler a few hundred times, film it, dump him and send the rushes to me. Alexandra and Tim. He needs an active model that isn't inflatable. 18-Oct-2024
I wanted to see more thigh, not this. The show fell and hit its head and a concussion was inevitable. There has to be a reason why Hannah is so popular. She scares me. Marissa's family had no business criticizing her fiancee's appearance without knowing him. Not only did the mother call her own daughter a bitch but she threatened Ramses with violence on national TV. Future bitch comparisons when they argue are forever. (I want to shave him so bad.) Nick, why doesn't your mustache connect to the beard? Tim was a disappointment. Not all squish is good and not all secrets are kosher. Stephen and Monica. Okay. This would have been the perfect occasion to bring flowers and a gift. 12-Oct-2024
S7E7. The vacation was a kindergartener's "first day" type of thing. The couples were blasted to la la land where the only dream that came true were worst case scenarios. The contestants dream so convincingly that it becomes a fake reality that doesn't prepare them for the future. Confidence is knowing where you're going no matter what stops you. Garrett shaved but I didn't notice a difference. Everything Hannah planned is working. She's there for the endgame. She didn't want her second choice but didn't allow her buddy to have him either. The key word was "shut up girl, it's none of your business." Leo deserves her. Monica. Ms. Plantation treats her husband like a butler. How does she stay so thin? She doesn't move. He gets everything for her. Everything but flowers and gifts because you can't show love without cash. She shushes him like a dog when she thinks it's her turn to talk. "Who's a good doggie?" What has she done to deserve gifts? Tim and Alex. I don't remember their tiff but it rang a huge alarm. She was off and listless. Marissa and Ramses. Somewhere in her sea of militarism was a hot dick, I'm sure. Why else talk about it incessantly? Why doesn't she just blowhorn into Ramses ear that he better be toxic or the fumes aren't happening. I wanted to invite Monica over to shush her. 11-Oct-2024
S7E6. The Lacheys provided an environment that would make the meekest male contestant undress. Hooray for us. Even though the hairier ones set off panic buttons, the men were all lovely and diverse. Ramses deserves a better backstory and a tremendous makeover. Representing a time not connected to us isn't cool. Stephen is a nice man awakening to nefarious deeds. I want a Tyler doll with clothes and without options and a reasonable licking rate. Tim is as shy as a butterfly. Nick D. is a gnome gone hot and it's hard to describe why. If men don't want to be used for their money, they shouldn't talk about it incessantly. "It's like he's asking for it. Should I take it, should I not? Is it impolite to refuse? Is it legal?" Leo equates success with love. His spidey legs are tingly with a drop of venom. Garrett is all smiles, ready to crack. Tim is the cutie with no thigh time and a future mama that doesn't know how to kiss his insecurities goodbye. Squish and water make for magnificent foreplay. Bohdan was the prettiest and most dangerous. 13-Mar-2024
Marriage Is Blind: Habibi (2024-)
The ladies voted and it was unanimous. The only traditions they want to uphold are the ones with parties. 19-Oct-2024
The men are all manmeat and the ladies are fantasy dolls. It's a dazzling community that does everything different because their transition is just a facade. Women are embracing it like the fable served to them by the universe that is rarely achieved. They want to be women of the now but the strength of man and family holds them down. They can only look the part. The men gain might by sticking to traditions that don't assist either sex in marriage. She roams his castle in chains. He roams the town tying females up. They are not allowed kissing, fondling or co-habitation which suffices for an interesting working vacation but not love. The sexes fall in love at a rapid pace. They have a script written and they're going to play it out no matter the expense. Jealousy is a big thing because they're always horny and there is always another Barbie or Ken to fantasize about. A man demands that his future wife not be a dancer, a Barbie treated her fiancee like she was being paid, women have a better sense of identity than men, women want to fly and men only want to fly a kite. There is fun to be had when the ladies awaken and the men get spit upon. Educational incredulity in a very nice package. 18-Oct-2024
Monsters: Menendez Brothers (2024)
The end road was chock full of accomplished performances. Mr. Lane tapped into heartache and regret and transmitted it to the audience. It was sheer strength. Leslie Grossman found a character that matched her skills like a glove. She was fun. Chavez built as his character progressed. A little askew, unsure but learning. The "cry" bit was genius. Koch appeared wallflowered but eager to surprise. He wore those glasses like Joan Crawford would, with confidence. A very capable group of actors. A hurricane of thoughts strikes briefly to annihilate jury members' votes. It was compelling. I didn't recognize her but there was something about the voice, legend and talent that felt like home. When I realized it was Ms. Lawrence I applauded. The final flashback back-pedaled all the emotions and perceptions that transpired. My vote didn't matter because they figured it out for us. The idea that the parents were blameless because their crimes were invisible does not free them of guilt, sin or karma. The only fact I'm sure about is that the eggs wouldn't have cracked if the parents hadn't laid them. 26-Sep-2024
S1E6. Art no longer belongs to the creator once someone else experiences it. It evolves, balloons then remains stagnant. The brothers are handsome and well-cast. The constant affection between them signified an unbreakable bond. Paying attention is necessary to reap the benefits of arcs and surprises. Sevigny is so accurate in her portrayal that she becomes as lost in the story as the real mother did in life. Good work. Javier is a beautiful monster that masters gut wrench and authority. Episode 6 was, so far, the best. The sex, abuse, the heritage, the privilege and mental enslavement were given honest and heartfelt consideration. It was the first time in a long time that I felt akin to characters that represented me. (It's not always about color, most of the time it's about shared experiences.) Brilliant direction and colorful words added to the episode's crescendo. 25-Sep-2024
Lumber jack foreman secures a fortunate future by destroying the competition and engaging with the boss' daughter. Edward Arnold was boisterous, empathetic and in charge as the hero with huge aspirations but prone to trigger happy endings. The logging scenes were an educational interruption that impressed me. His engagement was sidetracked by a saloon singer that was as proud of her balls as he was of his future wife's. The meet/greet was cute and sometimes funny. His greed and her heartbreak was realized. He abandons girl and his bestie for success. He bears a son that is a tower of goodness, modernity and a cause for vapors. Hot as fuck. Daddy's reign allows us to eventually turn on him. Bestie accepts responsibility by honoring what women need. Years roll by, the children mature and foreman is a parasite king pin. Boss encounters his heartbreak's daughter and subjects her to creepy adventures that don't make sense. He showers her and her family repeatedly until they become one of their own but a switch of interest from our heroine forces the hierarchy to crack. Circumstances become pervy and desperate. I understood the desire but not the pain. An old classic that dared and a heroine that stood up for herself. 17-Sep-2024
