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All Posts Tagged as 'Suspense'

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Hot Summer Nights (2017) Woof

If you want to see the privilege slapped and punched out of Timothee Chalamet this is the film for you. Tight and punishing. 12-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Touch, Drama, Good Acting, Magnetism, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twinkie, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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12-Jan-2021


Bridgerton (2020-) Woof

S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Fun Acting, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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28-Dec-2020


Amazing Race, The (2001-) Howl

The reason we get randomly smacked in the street by strangers just won The Amazing Race. It wasn't much of a competition and daddy got covered up. It wasn't that cold. Fuck you. 17-Dec-2020
My wish for the gay sisters is that they have only each other to fuck for the rest of their married lives. The alliance hates alphas and black people next. Someone informed Super Daddy to tighten his crotch but I remember. 09-Dec-2020
The hierarchy of society is measured by the alliances we keep. The contestants hate Indians next. Phil doesn't wear underwear. Thank you, daddy. 02-Dec-2020
Gays hate females especially blondes. Beards hate females especially blondes too. Only the gays appeared foul about it. The Indian sis and bro isolated themselves by being disgusted by India's alternative dental hygiene. Your ancestors are offended. Daddy Phil did not appease me with a thong challenge but football is still in and daddy crotch jeans were in full view. Thank you, Phil. 26-Nov-2020
S3E7. Gays are always the first to start an alliance and the first to fuck it up. Daddy black baller had pink fingernail polish and I will never forget that. Daddy bigger baller loves art. Tingly. The gays have become the stereotype representation that assists in community failure and that makes me bet against them. I like the asian straight couple. Phil, I beg you. Do not let those alpha beards or ballers go until after the skimpy underwear wet challenge. Dude, I know you have a preference for blondes but please think gay for just one episode. The house boy was a nice touch. Twink Twink. 19-Nov-2020
S32E2. Phil has sporty good taste in Colombian houseboys. They love you for longer minutes. I am not a snitch but there is more than one LGBTQ couple competing in the race. The sport alphas are giving it a good twirl. Wink, wink. I tolerate the gay cup. 17-Nov-2020
It's amazing because the stunts are crazy, the producers keep finding people that are not us to perform them, and Phil is a master conductor. 02-Feb-2018

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Action, Best in Reality, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, History, Hot Swatch, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Twisty, Unity, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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17-Dec-2020


Space Station 76 (2014) Woof

I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.

Highlights of the future:

We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves

The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection

The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style

The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse

It's clean

There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.

A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comic Book, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Director's Slice, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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13-Dec-2020


Rust Creek (2018)  Whimper

Little girl with a city attitude thinks she can ruff it in the wild where dicks run free and viagra doesn't help. It's an ode to hillbilly hate, police corruption and fine young specimens in peril. Nothing works, the whole is an extension to corroborate a repetitive premise whose replacement parts don't carry on. Poor stupid girl. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mystery, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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07-Dec-2020


My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Howl

Childhood friends discover they might have feelings for each other as "his" wedding approaches. Julia's star was astutely intoxicating. She reveled in being the asshole and compelled us to cheer when she realizes it. Cameron Diaz steals it by being the opposite of the woman that always gets the good man. She's adorable. If I liked girls I would eat her. The GBFF is of British cunt royalty. Its Rupert Everett, full of life and hope before the despair. Charming and cheeky he was the GBFF you can convincingly pass as a boyfriend and help your vibrator conjure up an image. Julia made me conscious of Dermot Mulroney's importance by the way she looked at him. She was studying him. I deduced him. He's the dick that looks great in Julia's glow and uprises when Cameron blows. He's that guy, she's that girl and she's that poor girl. The laughs are not a statement but a way of life, the romance is annoying but it's smart, people will never relate this way again and GBFFs don't last forever. The music made me float. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Best In ROM/COM, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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07-Dec-2020


Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Arf

Parents send their tech dependent children to nature camp to enforce the value of social interaction and gain survival skills. The bootcamp is a military wasteland. It splits them into teams and focuses on hikes, challenges and camaraderie to allow them to use the tech in their brains. You can also make friends. Good ensemble pulls you in as the movie keeps taking them out. It starts to hurt a little. The threat is a mess. We like our deformed bubblies with masks on and butch gear. It's yuck and impossible to look at. The pimply hillbilly troll backstory didn't help. It was preposterous. I withstood the gore and porn violence because of the cast, the kids, the representation, the dialogue, the awkwardness, the scared lesbian, the sexual limitations of tech sex, following natural reaction protocol and because they are us. The beast is in desperate need of a glam attack. It needs Jason's virility, Michael Myers' stamina and Freddy's humor and waist. It prepares us for death by tingling other parts of our body. Ick. 02-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Gore, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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02-Dec-2020


Undoing, The (2020-) Howl

The killer is not who I thought. It was a slow tread to the courtroom but that gave us time to loom over some well illuminated characters. Noah Jupe was playing with and absorbing the masters. Hugh makes you want to be Elena. Noma Dumezweni was a commandment and the voice of Darth Vader's mother. Donald Sutherland found an organic hard-on. Lilly Rabe applies her frenetic edge to a woman in charge. Mathilda DeAngelis is a rocket. Ismael Cruz Cordova is a missile. Edan Alexander is sweet. Rosemary Harris is a Meryl inspired craftsman. Nic's icicles are made of diamonds. The story is as much about marriage and family as it is about crime. Marriage is the victim. The direction needed a style makeover but the words came to life. 01-Dec-2020
The series is too distant to profile which makes it hard to cling to. Nicole eerily returns to "Far and Away" and "Dead Calm" personas and it's intriguingly off-putting. Hugh Grant is still the guy whose cummerbund you want to fix and the mystery contains possibilities. I think I know who did it. 29-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cliche, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Elegance, Fun Acting, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Power, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Touching, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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01-Dec-2020


Don't Listen (2020) Arf

A latino Jeff Lewis moves his wife and his vitamin D deprived child to a haunted flip. This is the big one. Every cent is embroiled in this project and there will be no crying about hearing voices, premeditating people's deaths or telling your mother that I hate you. Son has been in quarantine for a long time and that's the reason the adults say he invents such magnificent lies. The thing that happens early to shock us awake was the thing that kept it running. It sputters with no engine. 01-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Foreign, Foreign: Spanish, Horror, Music Swings, Relationships, Repetitive, Suspense, Violent, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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01-Dec-2020


Sputnik (2020) Woof

After completing a space mission, an inexplicable disturbance causes two cosmonauts to crash land back to earth. One is faceless and comatose and the other has a symbiotic alien attached to him. A female doctor about to lose her license is coerced into psychoanalyzing the subject who has no memory or idea that an alien host resides within him. Her job is to cause scientific history by safely separating them. The alien arises during deep sleep and survives the length of an hour outside the cosmonaut. The alien is fiercely freaky and a bloodthirsty asshole. The surprises don't queef, the actors command and the whole is a serious Venom. The Russians may serve their drinks cold but their hearts beat warm. 22-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Foreign, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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22-Nov-2020


Downsizing (2017) Woof

A novel scientific resolution to save the environment revolutionizes the planet. The idea is to shrink people by offering the struggling worker a comfortable life and deem prisoners and hostiles of the government their servants. Matt Damon spoke Spanish eloquently, pulled deep emotion and cast a sad hero. Only 3% become small, the planet doesn't get better and life decisions have to be made. I think Kristin Wiig should main it for the sequel. She'd weave a funny awkward life into it. I wanted more of everything. I wanted to nerd out with corny effects and funny big people scenarios but the budget remained tight. The ending is about choices and priorities. We get to choose with them. 11-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Mystery, Political, SciFi, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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11-Nov-2020


Knock, Knock (2015) Arf

Tik Tokkers go hunting and prey upon a super K dad all alone and stoned at home. The wife and their boys went to another location to await him as he finished a job so they can have a family celebration. The girls are mad-driven, sex hungry hot dogs whose destruction you wouldn't lose sleep over. Art makes them mad. They shred it and draw fat penises on it. They perform outrageous skits to make babies and horny daddies pay attention. They have no talent. They hate men. The reason the entire bottom half of the planet yells out daddy during sex is because it's the most familiar. Daddy K is at his squishiest and he rips good emotions from his gut. He applied his action stamina to sex and it was sexy. The torture is guaranteed and Keanu's reactions were spot-on. Eli Roth has mad ideas and his perception is inching closer to clarification. I would but I would get in trouble. 07-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Mystery, Over the Top, Pretty, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Violent, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Nov-2020


Beneath Us (2019) Arf

Thrifty white suburbanites hire cute daddy Mexicans to complete house renovations. The offer of money is the fundamental key to keep the men in line and violence is the action that keeps them on the job. Cruelty compensates for a lack of psychological study but the message is loud and clear. Don't work for white people. 06-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Political Satire, Revenge, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Violent, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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06-Nov-2020


Over The Moon (2020) Whimper

Glen Keane weaves plenty of magic but the story cremates it. The mythology does not resonate as an inspiring fairy tale that would empower a girl by sending her out of the stratosphere. The how to the moon was unbelievable. I know its fantasy but my brain didn't even want to. Doesn't it cost billions to get a man on the moon? The moon is "gummi land" ruled by the protagonist of the mythology. Chang'e is an exquisite piece of animation whose suffering and selfishness make the circumstances obsolete. I liked everything about home. Home is where the magic needed to happen.

(Why are rabbits only cute in animation?) 04-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Animate, Beautiful, Chemistry, Comedy, Director's Art, Funny, Good Voice Act, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Vague, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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04-Nov-2020


His House (2020) Woof

Sudanese refugees receive asylum in England to a house that appears too good to be true. The film exposes the culture's frailties and their strengths by unrolling the past during the celebration of the present. Something is wrong with the house, the husband and the wife. I felt the spit from the hate and I was genuinely spooked. The backstory is the magnet that keeps the house scares from falling apart. Some the of visuals meandered, separated from the backbone and made little sense but the writing kept it in check. The director is exploring, Sope Dirisu is grinding and the reach for excellence is pretty close. 03-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, History, Horror, Hot Swatch, Life, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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03-Nov-2020




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