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All Posts Tagged as 'Suspense'

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Boys, The (2019-) Woof

Twitch daddy twitch. 24-Jun-2022
The season belongs to daddy Homefucker. 24-Jun-2022
Shue clenches frustration devoutly, Starr chomps evil gleefully and the end punctuated surprisingly. 26-Aug-2019
Graduating superheroes to the next level...consequences. 17-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, From Another Planet, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Political, Relationships, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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24-Jun-2022


Stranger Things (2016 -) Full MoonDowngrade

If this were an enjoyable season I wouldn't have talked about their hair. The retro lab visit was every mythological idea the auteurs and their fan pages dreamed up during video chats. It met everywhere but the middle. Russian prison was an excuse to keep actors that can't stand each other apart. (But, the audience likes them together.) The prison chapter peaked when daddy shaved his hair. He won Best Hair. The extra stuff put me to sleep. Too much. 01-Jun-2022
S4E5. I was surprised how much I had forgotten and remembered. Old people don't have time to look back. There isn't much time. The hair is horrendous. A guaranteed 80's do is brushing it forwards, teasing it, spraying it and letting it go. Instant throwback art. El is a super dork with boy crushes, the token of leftwing communist bullying and delicate. She's a dehumanized weapon. Comicbook El would have found gifts of other strength to make her cope and conquer. Why would she become Carrie? Some of the characters were hard to bear. It zooms away from sense, piles for representation and exemplifies fandom exhaustion. The hair. Worst ever! 30-May-2022
PS: I spent most of the season wanting to comb everybody's messy hair. 08-Aug-2019
The magic dissipated in #3 but unity, bromance, and a pulverizing ending held it up. 06-Aug-2019
#2 gratified every sense with throb and tenderness. 29-Nov-2017
There can't be much to disconcert when with every dedication and homage you are dealt original cards with likeable imprinted players and a perplexing with soul reflexing game.

Wynona is unwavering in motherhood vs sanity as David Harbour is papa Bear strength. The kids are inherent, funny and affecting. Millie Bobbi Brown is tasked with conveyance of eye speak and she handles it beautifully.

Success is achieved through inspiration not impersonation. 29-Aug-2016

Tags: 2010s, Action, Beautiful, Classic, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Cute, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Overcooked, Sci-Fi, Special, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tedium, Tired, Touching, Twisty, Weird, Wig Crack, Writer's Peak

Filed under: TV

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01-Jun-2022


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The reunion was all about Lascelles' back fat troubles and man socks. Loving it! 29-May-2022
Daddy host kept rocking those skinny jeans. Yeehaw, cousin. Lascelle's back fat did not leave alone. Bizarro Lance Bass is dating an asian meatball. The guy with the hair is nothing but a hairball. His girlfriend thinks she's Diane Keaton in an award winning drama about failed relationships and killing lobsters. 28-May-2022
Lascelles' back fat jutted out of his giant torso and it was spectacular. The tip of his well crafted ass sparked memories of cracked wishbones. It was a lighter shade of his skin color. It was so wonderfully squishy. I imagined his ass sparkling in the dark. Beautiful contrast. Kittykats came to nip at homeboy but he became enraged. He only has eyes for hostile women. Two men got to see their future exes get it on with Hollywood sex workers. Mark Wahlberg attempted to bring skinny jeans back. Please let him. Girls have extensions, men need to parade what make gays swoon. It's joyful. Brains don't count. It was a black thing wasn't it. You didn't want to see it constantly. Thank God for latin TV, they are always five years behind. Back to the horny women. They were both riotous but only one moaned for more and then more. Was the fucker at his limit or was she granting him the permission to add two more inches every 20 seconds? Either way. Yikes!! 14-Apr-2022
Daddy's teeth don't work in a bonfire setting either. Okay. Some of those idiot things are melting my loins. Ack! 13-Apr-2022
Open marriages exist when one partner grows weary of the other's sex. You think? 31-Mar-2022
Mark Walberg's teeth are so white that he clashes with the sun. If you can't trust a man because he texts other girls you are Sherlock Holmes not paranoid. Fuck you, therapists! None of the boys are worth fealty. They're ack! There is some pretty ones on the Hollywood hooker side of the group but the caliber of men is very "Oscar," not deserving this year. A beast brother is rocking blue eyes and Cindy Brady curls. Ack. A guy from the Bronx is auditioning for West Side Story 2. Double ack. One of the tempted males is rocking doggy style long hair. You know, the haircut that separates the weave from your hair by curling at a non realistic point like all the females are wearing. Ghastly. 18-Mar-2022

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

Filed under: TV

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29-May-2022


Ozark (2017-2022) HowlDowngradeWoof

Oh no! I'm fucked! 10-May-2022
I got it as soon as my sister uttered the words. "They got used to it." 08-May-2022
Wendy Byrde burst out. A mother of common sense, female liberation and purpose. A woman fighting against her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. 08-May-2022
Only an asshole named Marty Byrde or Jason Bateman can ruin Rhoda Mogenstern's career. 08-May-2022
James Cameron didn't bother because a lake is not an ocean. 08-May-2022
DePalma would have lovingly dumped them. 08-May-2022
Hitchcock would have killed them. 08-May-2022
Spielberg would have pulled their hearts out. 08-May-2022
Nolan would have ended smiles and piled up the exposition. 08-May-2022
Tarantino would have ended it with a Batdance. 08-May-2022
Larry David would have killed them all and laughed. 08-May-2022
The resolution to "out of nothingness" is to become rich. Superiority is applied when survival is imminent. Destruction of non-family matters are predetermined. Pretend as we may, the biggest construct our parents ever created is us. 08-May-2022
S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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10-May-2022


Kindred (2020) Whimper

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Inactivity, Mystery, Psychological, Quiet, Slow, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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20-Apr-2022


Love Island (UK) (2015-) BitesUpgradeHowl

S7E12. She made me roar. She looks like something I would've faked to perfection. Men in skinny jeans are such beautiful assholes. LOL. 16-Apr-2022
S7E10. A boy band member got into trouble for calling women with surgical enhancements fake. I think they prefer the term "lizard." It was a high noon of male intolerance. Boys privately plotted against the women and covered their tracks. "Be nice. Fuck the shit out of them later." "Hey, you can fuck mine too if you want." "Bros for life until one snitches." The women's idea of a fairytale ended when a more expensive piece of plastic showed up to delete their fantasies. New lizard is making those dinosaurs roar! Her plastic is shiny. 14-Apr-2022
S7. A few episodes. Black diamond got duped by a couple of assholes that hypocritically crowned her a black queen of mosquitoes. Pretty boys talk over girls because they're not sucking their foreign cocks. They'll stop talking and start moaning as soon the girls put their gentle lips on their dicks. Girls with extensions get dry humped and black guys that make out for a long period of time become ashy. There are as many slaps as there are boners. 13-Apr-2022
Men have invented a new derogatory language to upset women. What now? We can't ban every word... or can we? Nobody mentioned french toast, its the best (any foreigner with sweet tasting d...) 22-Feb-2020
Contestants get paid to be inappropriate to strangers. 16-Feb-2020
I misinterpreted its existence. We are judging cave dwellers hooking up in a modern habitat. Skinny jeans, man pillows, wrangling, snogging, heart rips, musical accents and an errattic ear...that's entertainment. It's a braincation. 16-Feb-2020
Boring in any language. 25-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Drama, Early Exit, Fake, Fatigue, Foreign, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Overcooked, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Sexy, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Talk, Twisty, Unity, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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16-Apr-2022


Bridgerton (2020-) WoofUpgradeHowl

Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Nostalgic, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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30-Mar-2022


Throne Of Blood (1957) Full Moon

Kurosawa's imagining of Macbeth was intoxicating. He lingered until we felt the character's desperation. The background was still and intimidating. The actors wore silent film faces with impassioned speak. Toshiro Mifune was a beast royale as MacBeth. Isuzu Yamada was fabulously haunting as his Lady. The rustle of her dress, the scary predictions, the make-up and bouts of violent madness. She was a favorite thing. Deaths were choreographed with coherent math and geography. Inspiration is achieved but masterpiece recreation is impossible because the best things in it happened by accident. 28-Mar-2022

Tags: 1950s, Action Fun, Beautiful, Best In Drama, Best In Foreign, Brutal, Chemistry, Classic, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Fun, Great Acting, Magnetism, Music Swings, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, War, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

Filed under: Movies

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28-Mar-2022


Halloween Kills (2021) Arf

Oops. Laurie and Mike are not the brother and sister alluded to in Halloween 2. It was a myth and a modern waste of a great arc. 21-Mar-2022
It assembled an historically amiable and able cast. Laurie Strode wasn't it's focus and I accepted that. There will always be a boogeyman stalking baby breaths and heroes willing to fight to keep them that way. The remembrances are welcome, the music is everything, the recreations worked but the constant reminder of Mike Myer's significance was hokey. The presentation screamed mythology over-identification. Michael Myers craned his neck in sympathy when he watched victims die. He ignored some but not others. It's tacky to make him talk but WTF? Is he a robot? I want to know what he's thinking. Give him voiceover thoughts or grunts. A showdown is brewing between brother and sister. It would be appropriate that before judgment is cast upon him that we get to hear his interpretation. 01-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Classic, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Gay Swatch, Horror, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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21-Mar-2022


Don't Breathe 2 (2021) Arf

Blindman wants to remain a dot, raising a stolen daughter, being stealthy and 100% sexless when it should be the opposite. Pervert! The child gets to choose the lesser of two evils. That's not fair. We get to know who the asshole is before the mystery begins. The clues to existence are ludicrous. Daddy's fun, kid has moments, all is a statement of life insecurity, terror and failure. The violence is pretty good. 12-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Music Swings, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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12-Mar-2022


Euphoria (2019-) Full Moon

The music represents the burden of being a child and the parent who never considers it. Younglings fight pain by listening to adults in pain without it causing distress or an ironic thought. Specified music with taste and glory. 12-Mar-2022
The creator drops his characters into a hole where the act of falling stops when they reach up. The actors succumbed and conquered. Z broke my heart. The writing spun out of control because that is the consequence of addiction. It pounds us with fists throughout then pummels us with pillows at the end. The season finale was a bitter "Glee" spectacle. 12-Mar-2022
Misfits are created when the understanding of being born is confounding.

Each episode incorporated a distinct flavor that elevated character development and story arc. The whole is a buoyant and succulent melange.

The writing was sharply on edge, the directors' wings were boundless and the actors (especially Z) rose to every unforgiving task.

Z's parade at finale was unexpected, deserved, joyous and brilliant. The music speaks. 01-Sep-2019
The carnival episode was a modern Hitchcock delirious delight. Zen's etch of a drug addict cuts deep. 31-Aug-2019
Etching a recognizable world and stripping Zendaya of Disney cuteness. Feels like home. 28-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Relationships, Romance, Special, Squish Alert, Star Power, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Touching, Twinkie, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

Filed under: TV

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12-Mar-2022


Antlers (2021) Whimper

It makes you ponder things not worth a hill of beans because saying "hello" is not the same as "how are you?" They hired a mama and papa wrecker to be abused by a legend that is more of a stereotype than a mystery. The kids are nasty. I was highly insulted. 22-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Depressing, Disappointment, Fatigue, Horror, Preposterous, Rapey, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Violent, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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22-Feb-2022


Mikey (1992) Howl

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Tags: 1990s, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Hilarious, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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21-Feb-2022


Man In The Attic (1953) Woof

Jack The Ripper is on the loose and living in "Our Town." He is compelled to kill because he can sense debauchery and orgasms from his female victims. He may be bunking with an actress and her left wing family. Aunt Bee from Mayberry is the "Karen" the town needs or she may be a nosey bitch. Jack Palance has the most muscular face in moviedom and is of great height. Whether he is or isn't is not the point of the film, are all actresses whores, is. 19-Feb-2022

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Political Satire, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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19-Feb-2022


Amazing Race, The (2001-) Howl

Daddy Phil rocked some stylish pants that made his Keoghan pop out. Nice daddy. The granite bros have me wishing for a thong challenge. I want to see the tall dude but not his wife Karen skimp too but I feel guilty. They look like they tie people up. Father and Daughter. She eyerolls stealthily whenever her father extols his masculinity and makes her look stoopid. The L Sisters were my favorite. They barfed eating greek Souvlaki. Yes, I know! It's that awful white sauce. It tastes like baby vomit. That's why I order it without it. It's really better that way. 18-Feb-2022

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Action, Best in Reality, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, History, Hot Swatch, NSFW, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Twisty, Unity, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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18-Feb-2022




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