All Posts Tagged as 'Camp'
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Screaming Skull, The (1958)

Rich woman with psychological problems marries a dried up coochie player in the hopes of finding normalcy and family. Daddy coochie gaslights because he thinks she is incapable of the truth and doesn't want to cause her more anxiety. Her parents drowned because she couldn't save them. Her latest coochie grabber's ex-wife may be haunting her new home. Daddy leaves her home alone a lot. I saw a crappy colorized version that hinted how nice it would have been in color if you separated it by seconds. Marriage is entrapment and not a contract. The only way to prove to yourself that you are not psychologically impaired is to marry. Your partner will legally let you know what's wrong with you. 23-Jan-2023
Winter House (2021-)

S2E3. Luke is banished for having sexual thoughts about a girl that mentally promised him a blowjob. Women are warriors and baby factories, not sexual beings. That's what the LGBTQ community is for. Paige allows her lover to go bonkers because he would dump her for being a disobedient slut. Dumping the asshole would be female empowerment. Oooh, Kyle has love handles. He's squishy. Yum. I bet both sides taste like butterscotch. Kory is looking for a relationship that will adorn him in pearls. I know of a few straight men that can pretend to be his uncle. 13-Jan-2023
Below Deck (2013-)
I want Captain Daddy to return, saddle up with Captain Sandy and fire those two fanny fluttered wenches. One serves too much, the other too little. I'd also have Captain Dicksome sail across and give the captains a thumbs up, banners on the sails and lots of loud honking as the wingless birds exit. 10-Jan-2023
Fuck pinpoint accuracy, Captain Sandy needs a drink. That's why she's overeating and is probably gonna break a bottle atop that backstabbing ass bitch's head. SHE HEARD YOU ON THE RADIO! 06-Jan-2023
Captain Daddy is helming a boat full of digressing fools. Chief Stew Frasier is waiting for a gangbang to push him into aggression. Chef Loops decided that finagling questionable chemicals into meals for guests is a better option than being addicted. White girls will never get along with black superiors unless they're spraying spritzes of sugar, ie: soda. Chris Lamb is onboard to make us forget him, Ross McHarg was hired to not say "gay," and Tony will suck anybody's dick because in his native country, he would starve, if he didn't. 06-Dec-2022
Nightclub allegedly kicked out patrons for being too gay
“A club employee came to see me around 11:45pm to tell me regular customers think we don’t have a place here. Some clients found our clothes turbulent, our dance movements turbulent, but especially our people were annoyed. So the employee asked us to leave before the battle was over,”
Nightclub allegedly kicked out patrons for being too gay
Airbnb Host Refuses Booking to Gay Couple
RRR (2022)

It's loud, expensive, unbelievable, daring, striking, slamming and has two super daddies that have much to say. Daddies from opposite sides of the revolution become hidden identity bffs with loads of heart and muscle to give. The white witch makes a return to the screen. She is half in charge and making daddies' lives miserable. She snatches a baby sister from a daddy's tribe and enslaves her to do her nails as she controls the other by giving him power to enforce the law without limitations. White Poppa controls the army and the audacity. I got lost in the world and accepted everything that defied because everything it conquered was so joyous. 20-Dec-2022
Too Hot To Handle (2020-)

Oh fuck. Monumental nudity not allowed. Boo! 18-Dec-2022
S4E3. The hornies are back. The series offered light nudity because they can and should. They served two pretty safe pipe extinguishers, one knockout but no monumentals. We're talking James and male ass here. He's the monumental that hasn't shown. 12-Dec-2022
Yo, call a doctor! The human race is hornier than we thought. It's not just us, its everybody! The children are fucked! 03-Jul-2021
No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020
Barbarian (2022)

Smart character setup and fear causation. Bill Skarsgard is hypnotic as a clown and himself. I'm impressed how he balances his native language with english. Matthew Patrick played a hideous mother, hideously. Georgina Campbell conveyed what we were thinking. Justin Long adds adult anxiety, teenage WGAF attitude and a boy rendering the horror he sees. It skidded off the earth at the end. Big bad doesn't have to be preposterous. The simpler the monster the better the explanation, the more we shiver. This only happens to one person every 100 years. Ooh, I'm shaking in my boots. 13-Dec-2022
Elvis (2022)

It's a director's movie. Cast participation didn't matter. The artists were playing shadows of legends and not inhabiting any of them. It's ok because the director razzle dazzled us while all on camera did as they were told. 08-Dec-2022
X (2022)

The idea of renting a house from senior landlords living on the property, in the 70s, to shoot a secret porn film plays ludicrously. It opens stinking of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and ends up vomit. This is an auteur's movie. The porn they were creating was supposed to be art. It was another porn stinker. 2 hours of three girls and a cock. The film would've played better as background for orgies. Seniors were represented as Tales From The Crypt old. Ick. Fear of getting old and losing control of sex and the joys that come with it. It stopped smelling like Chainsaw as soon as it tasted like Jaws and went down like Friday the 13th Part Three in 3D. 25-Nov-2022
Falling For Christmas (2022)

The good news: LL got her mojo back, the bad news: it's a stinker.
Oops, this is the poster for the sequel. 18-Nov-2022
Disenchanted (2022)

The most enchanting thing about both films is Amy. When her magic is at full tilt, production continues her flow. Dempsey was saddled with a silly storyline and a "send him away" type direction. Women and men no longer want to fight together. It's women's turn to die for what they believe in. Marsden is a pro at acting douchy but cute. Gabriella was just right. Maya stopped fussing and was funny again. The music was almost but it felt like there was an intruder interrupting the grandeur. Some of the songs are juvenile. Idina Menzel wrecking her throat's gift on shitty songs is a never. They made her sing "Let It Glow," again and again. Her magnificent voice gets a full moon. Amy's everything makes you hungry for more. Suburbia works as a stand-in for a magical life but once true magic coaxes itself into reality the ink starts to dry. They gave no magic equations or rules of limitations that we could realistically follow. What kind of magic is in Andalucia? Why did the queen gain power? Is Andalucia in Wakanda? None of the above. They gave no rules because they didn't want to have to follow them. Dude, that's when the best art is created! Full moon to the production in front and back and a boo hoo to the writers for not coming up with something more substantial to say. 18-Nov-2022
I Must Get Into Heaven/He's The Greatest Dancer
Starfire
Hated Cartoons
Bieber/Gomez
Charity
Barney Takes A Dump
Ribs & Soul Food
Batman
Batman Celebration
MCU vs DC
Wonder Woman
Don't Worry, Darling (2022)

Olivia Wilde has a frazzled mind. She mixes a Long Island iced tea that goes down smoothly but fast. You get drunk, start getting dizzy, the room is spinning when one shot of a tight Stepford update would have sufficed. Too many ingredients that make you throw up because they clash. All the actors were directed to up it. It works for Harry Styles because he's stiff. Chris Pine was already notched up when the director asked for more. Not. Florence Pugh astounded me. Her acting was like a light switch at a storage locker facility. On and off, unexpectedly. The story was aching for calm but we kept getting those "Ring" type edits that destine you to early death. A beautiful sight by a practicing director that needs a chill pill. 08-Nov-2022
God Forbid (2022)

It makes fun of itself before we get a chance to. Mockumentary is its misplaced inspiration. When pool boy recounts his sexual encounters with mommy and daddy pastor he edges close enough to wink and fuck the camera. He was dying to show us his dick. Privileged beauty is bought for an unsatisfied housewife and a latent homosexual. When beauty tries to break his contract, god's disciples rebel which god's beauty avenges. The Trump years were exhausting and felt like a foreboding comeback. Pool boy's sister had way too many things to say about her brother's prowess. Tom Arnold makes a cameo. Religion is a business. 02-Nov-2022
Grimcutty (2022)

If the monster hadn't resembled a street prank, I would have talked more about it. Blood is anemic. 13-Oct-2022