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All Posts Tagged as 'Star Watt'
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90 Day Fiancee: Tell All (2021)
Pt.1. Yara & Jovi. Jovi likes strippers because they make him cum. Mike & Natalie. Natalie might qualify for "best supporting actress in a documentary" at next year's Academy Awards. Mike is a beastly leprechaun. He promises her his pot of gold then takes it back. The beast got shot projectiles for finding a unique way to explain cheating on Natalie. The prize for the humiliation is five years of extra fucks for him and a smelly closet, a freezing home, a pig, carrots and some company for her. I hope someone asks Natalie if she's a hardcore fan of Alison Argram who played Nellie Oleson on Little House... Brandon & Julia. Julia gave all the males woodies and squirms whilst describing her career, esp. Jovi and Brandon's dad. The Boy's mother almost choked from twitching closed her emotions. Rebecca & Zied. Tiffany's friend flirted with Zied and fucked Tiffany's husband. His guilt oozed right off the screen even though nobody accused him of anything . Zied didn't fuck Rebecca when she got naked in the hot tub because the lighting was off. Andrew & Amira. She couldn't breathe so she put a sexy bustier on to help the oxygen circulate. Andrew got his hair ironed for nothing. 13-Apr-2021
The fun begins as soon as Trey Tucker parts from the water. Mother has a new boyfriend. He's a Hallmark envelope with extra glue to lick. Mother may be feeling the olds but she's fucking Trey Tucker! Get out! Daughter wants a piece of him too! A character becomes obsessed and another gets killed? No? The film's personality zig zags. The fun ends when the film changes outlook and the feelings it previously drudges up don't get finalized. Our investment goes unacknowledged. It explores beyond what it needed to, in a cruel manner. 10-Apr-2021
It commences in the 1900s when women were granted equal rights. It jumps to 1940 to show us what that liberation brought. A portrait of a career gal working to ensure her own future whilst getting bumped by her big dude boss. Dennis Morgan's smile was a spit of sunshine in someone else's face. Love is the wrench that loosens the grip on feminism. Daddy Yum Yum deserved attention and Daddy "Not So Bad" (James Craig) played to our sensibilities. One owns money while the other earns it. "You know who" makes her feel things and "you know what" is a dork. The suds get out of hand but the bubbles are fun. If Ginger Rogers had ripped some of the perfection off and allowed the character to be sloppy, it would have freed the character further. The film made observant statements about women (you need to earn your own shit), men (women don't need them) and children (are a woman's future.) Independent woman's last choice exonerates her previous overestimations. 10-Apr-2021
A beautifully crafted animation about unlocking traditional magic. Two brothers accidentally cast a spell that resurrects half of dad. No head or heart just crotch, ass, legs and feet. He profiles like a predator. It taps their shoes to announce to victims they've been found.
My version: boy triggers a spell that brings complete daddy back. If they want to keep him they have 24 hours to venture out and make it happen. They bond. They have beautiful memories and grand adventures without having to endure memorizing daddy's crotch and ass for 24 hours. Takeoff! Did cartoon daddy walk off the set in a huff? The filmmakers could not realize a finale for us. It was all hearsay. 08-Apr-2021
My version: boy triggers a spell that brings complete daddy back. If they want to keep him they have 24 hours to venture out and make it happen. They bond. They have beautiful memories and grand adventures without having to endure memorizing daddy's crotch and ass for 24 hours. Takeoff! Did cartoon daddy walk off the set in a huff? The filmmakers could not realize a finale for us. It was all hearsay. 08-Apr-2021
Pleasantries are spoiled by disappointments. It parodies all fairytales then drenches them with honey. Wilmer Valderrama is drawn like a long faced witch with big dick attitude and no substance. The brides are Godzilla stupid but the music is nice and the singing is delightful. Long-faced cartoons are not charming. 05-Apr-2021
You know what? Kat is growing on me. She hasn't released her Big Bang rigidity but busting out some Blossom on shrooms sort of moves would make the character a classic. Miranda couldn't give a fuck and neither should Kat. Good luck! 27-Mar-2021
Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021
Owl And The Pussycat, The (1970) 
Lady Barbra plays a hooker with aspirations. George Segal is the bookish wannabe writer whose life she upends. He rats on her for soliciting, she gets evicted and moves in. He inherits a lot of sexual frustration and mental exasperation. Nobody gay bashes like Streisand. (She can bash me all she wants as long as I win her over with my charming personality. That's how you make friends.) She's representing a full fledged character that served the writer well. Why not. If everybody were the same we'd all be Trump. Segal and Streisand are brilliantly funny, introspective, sexy, beautiful and artistic. The words are grand, it flows, we care and it means something. There is a point in your life where you realize that you will never amount to more than what you are. You can at least try to enjoy it with someone in the same boat. 25-Mar-2021
Kristin Davis helms an asinine parent who hires a vibrant and stainless nanny to temporarily raise her children whilst she finishes her novel. With the children occupied, mama is able to walk the town freely, jump naked in the pool, smoke cigars, drink and get her labia lip smacked by a teenaged nanny. The sex isn't for exploration. It's cold and unimportant because the sex tease is an excuse to keep us interested and fooled. The nanny spends as much time with the kids as the parents. Where the fuck were those kids? Daddy exists to spill his juice and to pantomime what a real man looks like. It all culminates like "Fatal Attraction" trash with old daddy fighting for his life in a shower, wearing only a towel. Embarrassingly funny. 23-Mar-2021
Juvenile delinquent gets kidnapped and trained to become an Anastasia for a needy wealthy matriarch. If the thieves can gain access to the house and decipher a code they become rich. Helen Hayes adds the sweet and gullible to a grandma that gets conned. Nivens is an adorable elegant servant and awarded a "squishy at any age" merit medal. Foster made it comfortable and joyful to watch her "cowboy up." No Disney princess makeovers for her. The caper is time-sensitive, the action is clunky but the babies gushed and direction allowed everyone the freedom to be who they were. 16-Mar-2021
Trial Of The Chicago 7, The (2020) 
Courtroom dramas are much like potted plants. Dig, roll, splash and seed until it sprouts but the main focus is always the plant. The plant in this case is politics. I felt encapsulated by the premise, its ego and a lack of sympathetic elaboration. Cohen worked tirelessly on Hoffman the comic but not the man. Daddy Strong turned off his eye bright. It would have captured Rubin's forever boy glint. He may have been high all the time but in interviews he was lit. There were times Redmayne lost his breath trying to take reign of his American accent which made me fear it. Mark Rylance set it up masterfully and Frank Langella commandeered it beautifully. The script was sharp but it was mostly business and no play. Politics wait for no one. A lot more fun would have been nice. 16-Mar-2021
Spoiled kid starts a war with grandpa when hardship hits the elder and he has to move in with daughter and family. Mom and dad evict boy from his room so grandpa can die in it. The mistake is starting a war at all. Grandpa is too cute for mistreatment. Had the hijinks been pranks instead of combat they would have elicited warm feelings. The adults were jelling and the kids were posting but most of the pranks were classic TV lame. 13-Mar-2021
Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-1977) 
S5E21. Mary rocks stripper gear and a prostitute teaches Georgette how to call business clients "tricks". 11-Mar-2021
S5E7. The episode where Betty White outcunts Bea Arthur. 24-Jan-2021
S4E8. Grandmas get horny too. 24-Dec-2020
S4E5. Super silver daddy with big brother ass wears hooker pumps to work. Yum! 23-Dec-2020
S4E1. Before Betty White drowned us in honey she perfected an empowered slut known as "The Happy Homemaker." She is introduced during one of Mary's lousy parties in which Phyllis' husband takes her home and almost never returns. The affair is handled with aplomb. A well versed human rights campaigner versus an eager and empowered cunt. The ladies are fabulous, Mary has the best solution and Teddy/Aquaman was delicious. 20-Dec-2020
S3E17. Classic sex identification episode. It's Mary's first party, Georgette is on hand to steal it and Rhoda is dating Phyllis' brother whose meant for Mary. The adult banter is resplendent, the emotions are on cue and the acting is sublime. 05-Dec-2020
The better Mary's hair gets, the more brilliant the show. 26-Nov-2020
S1E22. The origin of twinks. 04-Nov-2020
Class Act. 21-Jul-2017
Mel Brooks' enunciation play is brilliant art. The cast shred with equal parts hilarity and 100% talent. It carouses like a very funny sequel. 10-Mar-2021
Horny teen seeks parental independence by saddling with the girl of his dreams on a trip to Europe. Hot daddy wants to allow him the freedom but hot mama thinks he's too young to travel. The boy gets his way and hot daddy is hitching to Europe to photograph the boy's girlfriend and her young sexy mates. Hot mama, for some odd reason, takes a different course to the same place to keep an extra eye on the boy and her husband. She gets cajoled into thinking that a millionaire Pepe Le Pew's mansion is the European home she rented for the family. She also thinks the millionaire is the servant. Pepe plays along thinking she's a prostitute and that he and the butler are going to get lucky. Misunderstood mishaps follow, reconciliations are forthcoming and the millionaire's attitude changes tune. He gifts her a bikini and the house, she uses it as a weapon, his heart starts pounding and her husband can give two shits. They wrote Debbie dumb. It would have been a different concept had she been more cognizant and confident. She kept getting confused as a prostitute, got sexually attacked repeatedly in front of her husband and accidentally started working at the bordello her boy visits. Wackadoodle. 10-Mar-2021
Dying rich old fart with regrets decides to enroll in a new experiment where they transfer your brain onto Ryan Reynolds body. The director doesn't allow the old man to play with himself as soon as he's alone as Reynolds. Bummer. It's a grim and bumpy ride. I thought the ending was sweet but I wish I hadn't seen it coming halfway in. Not worth the bullets or the destruction. 09-Mar-2021
