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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave it home? It opens with a baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. They didn't study their accents. Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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14-May-2021


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The series encourages eating from the forbidden fruit so when the lovers reunite they can be put on trial. The prettiest boy in the world is a conniving robot with missing essential parts. That girl DID NOT sleep with him! (Cue the video.) Dude, start experimenting with your pink hole. Gay and porn will provide you with a home and some play money. Erika & Kendal. Daddy Walberg did not let Kendal out of his seat until his dick was deep fried. Chelsea & Thomas. Thomas sat quietly as Daddy Walberg paraded all the better options his girlfriend has but later went backstage and pulled his hair out. It was growing in well too. Kristen & Julian. As flat as the pages of a fairytale that will never see publishing. We don't read Shakespeare but we talk like this? In cliche's? Of course, the cheater didn't cheat while on Temptation Island. He no like that kind of candy. 29-Apr-2021
It's been a downcast season. I still want to sit on Mark Walberg, tweek his teets, burn into his baby blues while he provides psychological therapy and I rock up and down. Chelsea & Thomas. He promised his hair treatments would grow real hair in an allotted set of time and failed. She met someone whose plugs are finished, can lift things and doesn't shed. Erica & Kendal. She can punish him however she wants. He thought the purpose of the show was to go on a Fantasy Island type honeymoon and shoot some porn. Awesome, right? Honey, the court will look the other way. Anything you want. Erin & Corey. The most beautiful boy in the world and man's most popular choice. You want to lick his faults like ice cream but he's a pendejo. Yeah, we'll lick a pendejo, but he aint going to taste like ice cream for very long. The show paid a sex worker to tell him that what his willy can't accomplish his pretty face can. Rah, rah, rah...only if he joins our team as a super bottom. Viva Mexico! Kristen & Julian. Fake and shriveled up. Tempters get no empathy. Someone asked them if they wanted to go on TV and destroy some relationships and they said yes. Homeless deviants! 22-Apr-2021
The temptation is mighty man boobs. 21-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

Filed under: TV

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29-Apr-2021


Falcon And The Winter Soldier (2021-) WoofDowngradeArf

Preachers hijacked the writing room. Victim is the new black. A black super soldier spends the rest of his life watering plants with a twink by his side as punishment for having the bravery to be drugged and evolve the strength to save people. He could have been Captain America except for the cruel charisma of a wasp. America voted him out, jailed and erased him. So he said. If the show had commenced with this notion, we would have been spared some ineffectual rundowns and it would have smashed impact. Julia Louis Dreyfus pinched delightfully but had no time to heist. Why are Wakandans allowed to walk freely with spears? The superbad was Orphan Annie grown with a Party City mask, reminding parents that depriving children is best. Teaching is for school and parents. If we can show them how great we are without saying a word, we've won them over. Everything must be black (good) and white (bad) because we're too sensitive for grey (everyone). We all suck. 26-Apr-2021
An ode to superhero support that no one cared about. The task of the series is to make us care. The action zips, the storyline seems cohesive but the protagonists need to make us feel more than heroism. The story is zooming but the actors ain't riding it. 21-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bad Acting, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Overcooked, Political, Relationships, Sap, Silly, Timid, Tired, Writ Basic, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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26-Apr-2021


Youngblood Hawke (1964) Arf

Mr. Hawke drives a coal truck by day and writes the great American novel at night. Mother is wracked because that is not the job that's going to get them out of podunk. They're just pretty words. Wrong, witch. NY publishers called to propose a writing career for your son. Away he goes from Kentucky to New York to deal with business cutthroats, empowered Amazons with tender hands to create or deflate and a key to sin city. The men created partnerships but the women were the deal. He's hanging out with the haves. All the women stand demurely in line to take their turn with him. He's a golden pretty boy who didn't sound much like a writer and definitely didn't honk like a truck. James Franciscus held no extra thoughts. A blank page of "pretty as fuck." The ladies ease through the suds, confiding thoughtful sensibilities in spite of corny poetic writing. He's in love with his boss' wife and maybe his editor. He puts one on ice while he sparks fires with the other. Genevieve Page ate dairy/meat to make her hair resplendent. The accent, the manners, the fashion, the IDGAF attitude and her sweet little gay boy allowed me to pleasantly follow her. Unfortunately, the affair repeats itself so much that I'm surprised the writers didn't add "again" to every single "I'm leaving you." Suzanne Pleshette was so adorably female. Hawke's mother's storyline seemed incomplete as did the boy's. Hawke becomes a celebrity victim and gets cancelled for no apparent reason. 25-Apr-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political, Relationships, Sentimental, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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25-Apr-2021


Curse Of The Golden Flower, The (2006) Howl

Drop dead gorgeous. That's what I thought at the time I first saw it and its what I affirm now. I devoured and appreciated the crazy amount of artistic work that Zang's imagination and his crew realized. The story was simple and intoxicating. The empress is married to a punishing emperor obsessed with perfection, war and revenge. The empress is mother and stepmother to three boys who are next in line for the crown. Empress is in love with her stepson. He's grown up and doesn't want mama or to be emperor because he's in love with the servant daughter of the doctor that is helping the emperor to secretly poison the empress with enforced medicine. Daddy is back from battle hyped to finish his family war. Traditions are broken, inconsistancy becomes normal, traditions feel like enslavement and people are ready to revolt. Chow Yun-fat knows how to stomp his foot, wield a sword and kill a son. He's intimidating. Gong-Li is that unattainable thing that becomes easy prey once prized and possessed, thrusting her into a vengeful future because she is second in command. She serves gorgeous "Meryl Streep" face.

It's a slow burn to the battle sequences but they are worth it. Action was dressed, mapped and showcased exquisitively and the bloodbath was enervating. Men versus equally matched women with children by their side. Ouch. Amen. 22-Apr-2021

Tags: 2000s, Action, Action Fun, Beautiful, Best In Foreign, Big, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Twisty, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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22-Apr-2021


Claudelle Inglish (1961) Howl

Farmer's daughter is in full bloom and her scent is driving all the boys/men crazy. The most beautiful boy in the world yanks the flower from its stem, treats her real nice and gets engaged to her before his deployment. Claudelle's mother is the most disgusted wife in America. She loathes the hard work, 20 years of false promises and humiliating poverty. Claudelle's boy may be beautiful but he's a sucker farmer like daddy. Mother wanted better for her daughter. She deserved gifts, pampering and immunity. Girl doesn't care he's poor. She's in love. Daddy agrees. He is a romantic loser who thinks that memories of courting his wife are enough to survive hardship. Beautiful boy spends a year in the army, romantic letters ensue and tragic news upsets her future. The town boys/men pounce. She negates then accepts. Her scent becomes toxic. Every present a reminder of how far she went. Her room was stacked. Dad humiliates himself by allowing his boss to discuss marriage to his daughter without much confrontation. Mother claimed the boss was the reason they were poor but quickly changes her mind when he comes a courting. I'm assuming that Claudelle slept with every father and son in town except for her dad and the Reverend. My mouth was agape at every sharp turn. Claudelle did as mother said and used sex to liberate herself of men because men are victims of promises they can't keep. 20-Apr-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hot Swatch, Inspired, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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20-Apr-2021


Married With Children (1987-1997) Woof

I never realized how much female input there was in scouring the marriage of an alpha fucker and our mothers. 15-Apr-2021

Tags: 1980s, 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Hilarious, Magic, Magnetism, Political, Reality, Relationships, Representing, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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15-Apr-2021


Promising Young Woman (2020) Arf

It's a perfect outline for Catwoman. The anticipation of her masking up and punishing would have been worth the slog. Carey Mulligan keeps a dead expression throughout a lifelong career of avenging a wrongdoing to a friend. She doesn't revel in her revenge. She feels without actually feeling.

A psycho gets off on its craft, sexually, mentally and or physically. This is why directors yell things like, "loosen the fuck up!" to actors. This was a missed opportunity for Mulligan to create her own Joker but she refused to laugh. The ending would have banged harder had she been Catwoman or Halle Berry. 07-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Political, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Apr-2021


Kevin Frazier blasted for suggesting black women educate Sharon Osbourne 

 

“Entertainment Tonight” host Kevin Frazier suggested that a number of prominent black women in Hollywood come together to help Sharon Osbourne “learn” about race.

Osbourne liked the post, but it did not go over well with several black actresses, including “Insecure” star Seale.

“You must be outta yo gotdamn mind. How bout you put your energy into providing a safe space for those on the show who have been terrorized by her rampant racism/classism/xenophobia,” she replied.

Frazier shot back: “Been doing that for years… I wanted to hear your thoughts that’s why I tagged you, I respect your opinion, not trying to get into a scrap.”

“Well, you missed the mark this time, BROTHA,” Seales said.

Kevin Frazier blasted for suggesting black women educate Sharon Osbourne

Teen Vogue Editor Alexi McCammond Quits Over Past Racist Tweets

Tags: Campaign, Cancellation, Celebrity, Fashion, Hate, History, Lifestyle, Opinion, Overreaction, Political, Racial Tension, Revolt, Termination, Women In Charge

Filed under: Gay+

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18-Mar-2021


Trial Of The Chicago 7, The (2020) Arf

Courtroom dramas are much like potted plants. Dig, roll, splash and seed until it sprouts but the main focus is always the plant. The plant in this case is politics. I felt encapsulated by the premise, its ego and a lack of sympathetic elaboration. Cohen worked tirelessly on Hoffman the comic but not the man. Daddy Strong turned off his eye bright. It would have captured Rubin's forever boy glint. He may have been high all the time but in interviews he was lit. There were times Redmayne lost his breath trying to take reign of his American accent which made me fear it. Mark Rylance set it up masterfully and Frank Langella commandeered it beautifully. The script was sharp but it was mostly business and no play. Politics wait for no one. A lot more fun would have been nice. 16-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Political, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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16-Mar-2021


Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-1977) Full Moon

S5E21. Mary rocks stripper gear and a prostitute teaches Georgette how to call business clients "tricks". 11-Mar-2021
S5E7. The episode where Betty White outcunts Bea Arthur. 24-Jan-2021
S4E8. Grandmas get horny too. 24-Dec-2020
S4E5. Super silver daddy with big brother ass wears hooker pumps to work. Yum! 23-Dec-2020
S4E1. Before Betty White drowned us in honey she perfected an empowered slut known as "The Happy Homemaker." She is introduced during one of Mary's lousy parties in which Phyllis' husband takes her home and almost never returns. The affair is handled with aplomb. A well versed human rights campaigner versus an eager and empowered cunt. The ladies are fabulous, Mary has the best solution and Teddy/Aquaman was delicious. 20-Dec-2020
S3E17. Classic sex identification episode. It's Mary's first party, Georgette is on hand to steal it and Rhoda is dating Phyllis' brother whose meant for Mary. The adult banter is resplendent, the emotions are on cue and the acting is sublime. 05-Dec-2020
The better Mary's hair gets, the more brilliant the show. 26-Nov-2020
S1E22. The origin of twinks. 04-Nov-2020
Class Act. 21-Jul-2017

Tags: 1970s, Beautiful, Best In Comedy, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Elegance, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Gaycon, Genius of Art, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Magic, Political, Pretty, Special, Star Power, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Unity, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak, Writing Reigns

Filed under: TV

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11-Mar-2021


Princess O'Rourke (1943) Howl

Princess that feels like a bird in a cage gets rescued by a pilot when she overdoses on sleeping pills during a flight. The save frees her unto the real world where she suffers from a lack of talent besides waving, dressing fancy and waiting for a royal stallion to impregnate her with boys. The legends are luminous trotting a sound comedy beat and unrolling an escapist romance. The story turns politically dark after the reveal as the man realizes that with a woman in power comes great servitude. 07-Mar-2021

Tags: 1940s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Political, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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07-Mar-2021


United States Vs. Billie Holiday (2021) Howl

Men of the United States vs. a gifted opinion. She may have been a vampire but all the men sucked her dry. We cancelled her and she died. Who's fault is that? Andra Day. Her hard work is on the floor. She never reached druggy nirvana because she kept her light on even as things got darker. Pitch perfect on voice and beauty. The real legend was nasty and obtrusive. More of that. Trevante Rhodes is a cum daddy. I can cum by the thought of him. Tone Bell came and realized the fantasy but Rhodes went and smashed it with inhuman muscular sex. Rob Morgan is the guy with the 18 1/2" just older. Yum. Lee Daniels does not fuss too much. He wants to tell a clean story. When he imagines a woman's sensuality through the eyes of a victimized child, it is golden but when he doesn't subjugate us with it, the passion is lost. It would have been diamond had he folded with consummation. He couldn't give in to that. (We can take it daddy.) He kept the politics low and gave the legend the last laugh. That's cool. 27-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Bio, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Political, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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27-Feb-2021


Democrats criticize Biden’s decision to launch airstrikes in Syria without consulting Congress 

 

Some Senate Democrats on Friday criticized President Joe Biden’s decision to launch an airstrike Thursday night in Syria without conferring with all of Congress.

“The American people deserve to hear the Administration’s rationale for these strikes and its legal justification for acting without coming to Congress. Offensive military action without congressional approval is not constitutional absent extraordinary circumstances,” a statement from Kaine’s office read. Kaine is a member of the Senate Armed Services Committee.

“Congress should hold this administration to the same standard it did prior administrations, and require clear legal justifications for military action, especially inside theaters like Syria, where Congress has not explicitly authorized any American military action,” Murphy said in a statement Friday.

Democrats criticize Biden’s decision to launch airstrikes in Syria without consulting Congress

Tags: Accusation, Leaders, Military, Policy, Political, Representation, Safety, Violence, War

Filed under: Gay+

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26-Feb-2021


Nomadland (2020) Woof

How to minimize your carbon footprint by living like a dot. Though well portrayed and explored the film only pulled sadness from me. 19-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Inactivity, Political, Sad, Slow, Star Watt, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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19-Feb-2021




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