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Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

A sissy charter boarded to incite havoc. Did Captain Sandy plant those dirty towels to force Tumi into authority? Kyle is either hopelessly in love or in big trouble. The new cast has not clicked yet so we give them a pass. Max complained about being underfed so the ladies tossed him in a salad and ate him alive. The man was trying to say, I can eat the same food everyday, if its good. If straight guys want to sexualize females, follow the gays. Sit and watch as they convince the women to do as "he" wants. Shouldn't security be investigating and shutting down a boat with more than one illness? I hope it wasn't the food. 07-Sep-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Lesbian, LGBTQ, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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25-Dec-2023


Barbie (2023) Whimper

Women can do anything except fight wars, raise non-toxic boys or shut up. Barbie is a politic, a preacher and a bore. Man hate shuffles in so often that enjoyment is stifled. The cast is brilliant. Margo and Ryan were perfect iterations of iconic toys and the support kept up but the story just memes on the same subject, over and over. The film distinguishes the sexes without exploring true intentions or circumstances. The best way for feminists to free themselves from a man's grasp is to never marry and to abolish religions that place them in dire situations. 16-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Cliche, Cold, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Fantasy, Good Acting, Grating, Inactivity, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Political, Preposterous, Pretty, Repetitive, Revenge, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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16-Dec-2023


Porn Theatre (2004) Woof

Before social media, gay men congregated in straight porn theaters for sex and sympathy. They made money, were entertained, became excited, desired, it curbed loneliness and they got to fuck some woman's husband. Drags, trans and sissy boys roamed the theater like rats, scurrying around, scoping the cheese and avoiding the light while cheese daddy sat still with his legs wide open, waiting to be licked clean for respect and/or money. Street King Daddy shit. Sex is thrust upon us. It makes the impact real. The hunt is on. Sexual simulation stimulated when real or fake. Conversations skillfully explained where the community was at. Some of the players counted how many big dicks they sucked that night. Were they given a discount? The ticket manager was a sad hetero too old to attract a fuck. She thinks that convincing a gay crush to marry her would become an arrangement they both could enjoy. I could see it as a Broadway musical. It takes very little time to establish character purpose and that's great for the film. It provides the map to how we got here. 27-Jun-2023

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Fresh, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Life, Political, Relationships, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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27-Jun-2023


Succession (2018-2023) HowlUpgradeFull Moon

Sticks were lit. Just when I thought someone needed to slap Greg, he gets into a brawl. Baby prince stays hurt because his stick is not invincible, it didn't absolve him from violence. Kendall conjured many joyous and catastrophic emotions impressively. It's all about Shiv. Bound by family and inheritance but destined to never ascend the heights of her brothers' success and doomed to feel cheated. The only thing she can own, with no help from her dysfunctional family, is how she wants to live. Mattson was a prickly genius. Mother In Charge was defiant in her opinions and uttered her lines like they were Mr. Freeze popsicles. The best way to deal with family angst is to join it, beat it or annihilate it. The series dealt with all of it. Even emotionally dead mother fuckers can teach you that. 29-May-2023
Roman broke his stick. Daddy Prince sat and ate his stick. Shiv grew a different kind of stick. Greg towering over Mattson made my stick hard. The boredom and responsibility of a funeral was deftly created. Everyone was pondering death or trying to ignore it. Shiv is most like her father. 22-May-2023
Shiv is an accomplice to earth's destruction. The reds are absolutely wrong about everything but are our only salvation. A parent's misery festers like a ghost. It clings to others but is disabled by future reference. I want to shove a stick up Greg's ass and lick his face. I want to pay Shiv to shove anything up Tom's ass. I want to lick daddy's supreme balls as he describes how it feels like to eat a bacon cheeseburger. Mattson is a foot in our mouths. Connor is on the list of ok must fucks. I hope it strangles us in the end. 19-May-2023
I give a fuck! 19-Apr-2023
S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women sewed their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is a game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him, again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cocky. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Best In Drama, Brutal, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Greatness, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Politics, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

Filed under: TV

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29-May-2023


Diplomat, The (2023-) Woof

Kerri Russell rules, the cast is appeasing and her husband is a beautiful daddy-banana distraction. Keri mama wrecks with intelligence, comic skills and a "who gives a fuck attitude." The sense of humor traverses beyond the obvious and bare feelings are portrayed to fulfillment. We were allowed inside the pocket as opposed to watching from a distance. Bless Keri and David Gyasi for creating sparks out of a modern cliche. Whoa, for Gyasi's fabulous sister entertaining the male wife like Scarlett O'hara. He acted like James Bond. Ali Ahn's ulterior motives are aggressive but sweet to her waring partner. Rory Kinnear adds great face, acting chops and the right amount of Tom foolery. The cast is funny and subscribing, the story is sorting and building. I hope the bombing is a surprise. (It was.) 24-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Drama, Political, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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24-Apr-2023


Elephant Whisperers, The (2022) Howl

The caretakers introduce the history, solicit emotions and let the creatures' magnificence, intelligence and adorability speak for itself. The baby Dumbos were so cute. 15-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Adorable, Chemistry, Cultural, Director Movement, Documentary, Drama, Heart Writ, Political, Relationships, Touching, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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15-Mar-2023


Under The Shadow (2016) Woof

A mother is left to fend for herself when her husband is called to duty. The building scares and the apartment is freaky. The actor/daughter was a happy accident. She was cute and alert. The lack of music created tension. Mother's home is crumbling, the war is raging, daddy hardly calls, little girl starts hallucinating, women had no power and she's losing her mind. The mother and daughter had natural reactions. The level of trust spiraled as mine did. Can she do it or is she fucked? The mother's parenting skills are questioned throughout. The scare jumps were surprisingly scary. The fight had guts. Did she really slap that child? If it was real, she didn't flinch. I see sheets with a different eye, now. Unique. 14-Mar-2023

Tags: 2010s, Baby Wrecks, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Funny, Heart Writ, Horror, Music Swings, Political, Psychological, Suspense, Touching, Tough, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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14-Mar-2023


Snowtown Murders, The (2011) Woof

A rough telling of a serial murderer who uses his hate for gays, family and all that get in his way to torture and kill. 4 brothers live with momma on a decrepit block, in a creaking house and a scary neighborhood. A neighbor babysits three of the boys and sexually molests them. I didn't quite understand how the mother found out. Did the LGBTQ tell her? She meets a man full of hatred who disguises it with charm. The teen boy is having boy problems. He keeps getting raped, losing friends and his mother is a follower who can't attract a proper man to follow. Teen bonds with new daddy unaware that he's an asshole. New daddy can't stop talking about killing pedos. The followers in his life concur. They should be allowed to kill them freely. Daddy gets into teen's head and secretly shares a sadistic side that the kid embraces because he is a victim of the people daddy wants to eviscerate. The Australian cast are so realistic that I couldn't understand them. TU cc. There are images that keep repeating in my brain because that caused it to silently scream whilst watching them. There's murder, rape, perversion, animal desecration, torture, hurt and realism. The film qualifies as Texas Chainsaw's cousin. 09-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Crime Drama, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Music Swings, Political, Psychological, Rapey, Scary, Suspense, Tough, Violent, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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09-Mar-2023


All Quiet On The Western Front (2022) Howl

The details identified were gratifyingly fresh. The movie is relentless from beginning to end, setting up the dreams of boys as they're woked into becoming men in a war that could have been avoided. The significance that war is not a boys game runs throughout. War creates toxic men and brave soldiers with hell in their dreams. The politics were presented with the right amount of exposure and clarity. I understood it. A great musical score minimizes itself so the story can sing. It sang with an orchestra. Deft hands aplenty and cheers. 21-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Stomper, Best In Foreign, Best In War, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, History, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Sweet, Touching, Violent, War, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

Filed under: Movies

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21-Jan-2023


Woman King, The (2022) Whimper

Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Retread, Revenge, Sap, Silly, Timid, Writer Weakness

Filed under: Movies

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05-Jan-2023


Pinocchio (2022) Howl

Elements of war, religion and death are added and foxes, donkeys and the prevalence of debauchery are eliminated. Pin is not a mischievous boy looking for trouble, he's a learning apprentice finding the meaning of life. Geppetto is a grieving father whose child's death he blames on war and the director blames on Jesus. The church was the catalyst for rejection of a miracle from nowhere. The animation ravishes, the spoken actors convey and del Toro speaks from the heart. He made Pinocchio likable and Geppetto understandable. 11-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director's Achievement, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Voice Act, Heart Writ, Inspired, Music Swings, Musical, Political, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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11-Dec-2022


AHS: NYC (2022) Woof

It stayed true to tradition and didn't end with a bang because they yucked it up with mumbo jumbo. Ryan and Co. are gone, lets' show them what we can do. Everything except reigning it in. Add a little magic over here, irony over there and a preach or two around the corner. Charlie Carver's observations as a writer allowed him to present real gay dilemmas. That's a great contribution. The ladies brought depth, strength and full watt. The Brian De Palma glow, was class. Art shouldn't have to explain itself, though. It just is. 04-Dec-2022
Ryan & Co. serve enough gay meat to feed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The stories intertwine nicely. Gay is not what it's cracked up to be. We live life waiting for our perversions to be rewarded. It never happens. I have to disagree with the politically correct's hate towards cops. In my day there were good cops and bad cops, like Jedis. A lot of the time, the good cop was gay. I am thankful for that. You almost want to look away every time that smart begins a story because a shitty end awaits it. Russell Tovey peaks our interest with egg-shaped ears, ass encapsulation and making it overwhelmingly and illegitimately hard to listen to a foreign accent without cumming. Zachary Quinto is wolfy and orgasmic. Charlie Carver epitomizes an innocent victim. Joe Mantello is the kind of daddy you want to breathe a moment of life into. Isaac Cole Powell is a body you can only dream about. I know they are going to fuck it up but I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride. 25-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Crime Drama, Director's Touch, Fun, Gay, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Political, Representing, Sex, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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04-Dec-2022


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  HowlDowngrade

When will men learn that women don't want to have kids with bald heads and hairy backs? It's off-putting, especially if they turn out to be girls. The only way to prove a gay steward a liar is to film it. Shouldn't the pronunciation of Mzi be Mitzy instead of Zee? The captain only popped out at opportune moments. Example: "the gay guy is going to call that nosey girl a bitch. Listen, wait, then pop out." I want to see the chef's eyes turn black when he's banging a chick. He has "You" type relationships with the boat, crew and that chief stew casserole. 17-Oct-2022
Deck Jason was belittled for confusing" being himself" with "honesty." 21-Sep-2022
The crew dressed like Guy Fieri and I didn't get it. Why the big boobs? A strange dick in a gay's mouth fixes his teeth but makes his job performance wonky. If a gay boy unzips in a woman's face it's not sexual harassment. If a strait man compliments a gay boy's ass it's an honor. Ex-new boyfriend of chief stew is worried that ex-new girlfriend is thinking of the chef's dick every time she sees him. He needs to helicopter in and remind her what a tasty dick looks like. The captain keeps seeing the same dirty spot after a few sips and not. Natalya snitched on her boss (not-twin) and stew Whoopsy. The captain called them pigs and Whoopsy exclaimed that Natalya had opened the fish market. What the hell is that? Is that a new gender? 12-Sep-2022
Lesbians in charge still can't incorporate a hot male crew member. Trust me, the sex jokes would be less offensive. Captain Sandy does not hit things when she has a few sips. A gay steward gets a tooth infection when there is no constant dick in his mouth. I can't tell those brunette stewards apart. If I were Captain Sandy I'd make one of them cut their hair. 15-Aug-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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17-Oct-2022


Watcher, The (2022) Arf

Moving to a new neighborhood is like finding extended family. Neighbors expect things of you. You fake your way out, you eventually fall into their trap and they change you. Jennifer Coolidge is in it. She was mighty confident pulling out question marks. She's all you'd expect and more. Margo Martindale is sublime as a sparring neighbor that's always lawfully right. The asshole who I think claimed all men want to sleep with their daughters was intriguing. Mia Farrow was wasted as a tree communicator/hugger/companion. A neighbor that excludes humans from the safety of the environment is a nag. Every time Papa Cannavale raged, my loins pleasantly shifted but when he didn't stop, I got ED. The Wakandan investigator seemed too fabulous to be in this realm. Real-life haunted house stories are bullshit. A bunch of brilliant people coming up with an idea of creating history by actually destroying people's lives and documenting it. All I wanted was to see Martindale and Coolidge go at it. Coolidge as a porn star neighbor with loud parties and sex orgies (ooh ooh, she can invite Stifler), colorful guests and Martindale doing what she does best with lesbian tendencies. Ryan puts our head in a tumbler and expects us to figure it out. On what basis? 14-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Warbly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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14-Oct-2022


Big Brother (2000-) Whimper

Predictability won. I think Monte is even more allergic, now. Anybody can become a winner if they coast on others, represent, wave, purr on stupid menx and endorse chips. The show could not redeem Kyle, with the beautiful legs, with an apology (for deciphering the whole reverse thing) so they included him in a fake audience "favorite"lineup. The winner was given the opportunity to distribute the wealth but chose to Oprah it. 26-Sep-2022
Julie Chen made a music video so I can talk about her. OK, I'm talking about her. Hahahaha! There is a gay romance brewing amongst Monte, who seems allergic to vagina and is posing as a disinterested cis man for money, and Taylor, a beauty contestant whose experience goes beyond waving. Turner is that squishy ass that cis men fuck accidentally when they're drunk or its dark. Brittany resembles a comedian you'd fire from SNL. Boy, I can't wait for Julie Chen to start talking. Wink, wink. 01-Oct-2021

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Gross, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Manipulation, Overcooked, Political, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Tedium, Weird

Filed under: TV

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26-Sep-2022




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