All Posts Tagged as 'Abuse'

I don't know how to perceive the world except the way that I lived it. No one is describing the realities that make us nuts and no one is taking responsibility for anything. Troubles that cut don't exist, they say. Pretend and fairytales shall come true. That's bullshit. Our lives are not Disney movies and if it appears that way for a lucky some, another has kidnapped your sexual organs and your brain. I was sexually abused more times than people have mentioned the slap. I was raped by my cousin whose brother joined in, again, again and again. My sister made me eat her as a baby. You can read about banana hammock on my media page. My mother almost married a giant who only wanted to adopt me, not my sister and whisk me off to the Dominican Republic as a sex slave. He was going to teach me to like baseball and make my mother very rich. Wink, wink. She pondered it for months. My mother's cuban boyfriend threatened a tag team rape with my child molesting bi lover. A man asking for directions tried to kidnap me. Another man asked me for directions while holding a two year old's hand. The two year old was grabbing my penis inappropriately and feeling me up as the adult kept jabbering and ignoring it. He was trying to get me to show him the place in question. Dude, I was being molested by a two year old in public! I booked. Who the fuck can deal with that? It was humiliating. A greek cop showed me his badge and threatened if I didn't get in his car I'd be jailed. He raped me in the back seat. Several priests were sexually abusive or inappropriate. More cops got in on the fun. My ex cuban didn't get to double tag me but he tied me up and raped me for hours after I broke up with him. My mother was fucking a bisexual man at the same time as my stepfather was being considered "husband material." I didn't like him because he was younger than my mother and he kept annoying my sleep with whispers and massages. He was going to move in with us but mother didn't want stepdad to know about their intimate relationship. Stepdad was also moving in. Bisexual was deposed from mama's bedroom because he wasn't paying the rent but stepdaddy was going to. How to keep both? She got it. He was going to become my best friend and move into my room. Women are so clever. WTF?!!!! He's not going to believe that. What does a teenage boy have in common with a twenty-five year old? I told her there was only one bed. That's okay she would buy twin beds. WTF? He's going to fuck me with that ugly big fat dick he showed me, is all I kept thinking. My stepdaddy waited until the twin beds to arrive and my panic attacks to choke me before stating that he would not be comfortable living with another man. Bye, bitch! Whew! Thanks, stepdad. My gay bff wanted to rape me so I could get AIDS and be with him forever, like Twilight. I was bigger by then. I didn't let it happen. Cops arrested me for smoking a pot roach and thinking I was a Kingpin. I was not frisked normally. They kept pulling up my shirt, exposing my tight abs to other cops who agreed, felt and quipped how much fun they were going to have that night. No fucking way! On the drive to prison I was threatened with rape if I didn't identify my goons. What goons? My asshole gay friends? My cellmate informed me that the reason they kept coming around the cell and threatening me with gang rape was because they thought I was a druglord with the same name. He showed me his name on the wall. It was mistaken identity. I got out of the rape in the back room by mentioning that I worked for a porn king whom they actually called and vouched for me. After that, the cops became my best friends as I regaled them with porn star perversions and promised them all free porn. They didn't free me but I was becoming a survivor. I got drunk at a gay club, fell asleep and woke up with half my clothes off. A sweet drag boy told me men were coming up to me, disrobing me and feeling me up. The boy tried covering me up but they kept coming. I should leave, he said. I looked around at the smiling faces and died inside. Air never felt so good. Thank you, drag boy. Unwanted female boobs have been shoved in my face at restaurants, doctor's offices, employment and my mother's living room. My gay roomie's one night stand sat on my dick and rode me to climax as I was awakening and he was stepping out. Okay. I might have enjoyed that one but he figuratively raped me. My favorite lesbian aunt tried to get it on with me and my lover. Barf! She felt me up! Double barf! It destroyed my relationship with her. Another fucking little boy sexually molested me in line at a supermarket. That's okay. Daddy was nuts, boy was stealing a toy hiding under his shirt and the cashier arrested them both! Ha! I'm the only asshole in history to be molested by two little boys publicly. WTF. I didn't know that I always looked younger than my age. Brown people have a different perception of youth. I wasn't beautiful or extraordinary. I wasn't Timothee Chalamet or Tom Holland. I wasn't Ralph Carter from Good Times. I was a tall, skinny youth with cuteness and kindness to spare. When I read Kinsey's 1 in 10 hypothesis on male homosexuals, I was appalled. In my world it seemed like a lot more. That's because at least 6 others were perverts. They fit in anywhere. LGBTQP. 09-Apr-2022

I had a favorite cousin who birthed two adorable boys. The eldest (4) liked to rummage through her clothes and dress-up. He had a quick brain and he made us laugh. OMG! He might be gay, like me. I was my cousin's favorite thing. I felt no such thing. I felt sorry for him, like my mother does for me.

Father was elated, mother was ecstatic but the boy with the dress kept complaining his ass hurt. The parents exclaimed that it was a quirk but I couldn't help but think the worst. I brought up my sexual abuse concerns to her but she stamped them ludicrous. I respected their privacy. I couldn't prove something I did not see. I never brought it up again.

FFW two years later. I'm hanging out with my cousin-in-law, getting plastered, trolling strip bars and listening to music in his car. Between trolls we would call the wife and make excuses, sit in his car, and listen to "Jeremy" by Pearl Jam, sometimes, on repetition. We were fucked up. Before our final round and the last "Jeremy," he asked me to listen intently to the song because he had something to confess.

The reason his son was confused about his gender was because daddy dresses his son like a girl and fucks him. My head started to spin. Why did he presume I would understand? We went to our last strip club and I found an excuse to depart. Cis men will tell gays perverted crap because they think we are all perverted. What?!

I went home and told. I got death threats. My mother got involved. It ended my relationship with my cousin, she got divorced and the kid grew into a cis toxic military male bastard that hates us all. I don't blame him. 29-Dec-2021