All Posts Tagged as '2010s'
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Love Island (2019-)
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock, win! 26-Jul-2021
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The water not only messes with her hair but her brain too. Black girl sank the boat with her lack of irreverence. Malia's transition from Deck Ratched to the Flying Nun is not convincing. "Like that nerd would ever have a chance." Hahaha. There's a proud wench stew onboard and I sort of like her. The bullied cook is going to serve the crew for dinner. The captain was nowhere in sight. Sealab reports were due. 19-Jul-2021
Charter lottery wedding and pet murderers. Black female employees trump weak authority on a boat. "Shut the fuck up, white bitch!" Chef is so Don Knotts. Jumps at anything. The girls made fun of how unattractive the male crew was on a lesbian chugger. It's a safety mechanism women employ to keep an environment sex-free. Except, cis women will fuck anything! Malia pretended to be human by letting an underling sexually fantasize about her. 05-Jul-2021
The ban on black people serving the privileged has ended. Is that a tail I see between Malia's legs? It didn't stop her from making her male subordinate feel like a stereotype. You could tell a lesbian hired the male staff. Arf. Captain Sandy reminded me that lesbians pour great wine but can't cook. What a riot. It was so much fun watching the lizard charter choke on human food. 22-Jun-2021
Sexy gorgeous creatures don't preach, they do. 04-Jul-2021
The beautiful ones return in high style and peak bloom.
Fluidity is tunneled, pummeled and charged. The freedom to inherit all relationship prospects is an elite politic that facilitates mass hurt because the kids that invented it are incapable of successfully mastering it. They're human.
The parents do as Oprah taught them and heal most of their miracles' hemorrhage with gifts and money.
The beauties confusing the system to reclaim justice was resplendent.
The mystery continues and concludes, the ones are masters of bitchiness and heartbreak and the thread is reinforced nylon. Brava! 29-Mar-2020
The season was mapped mathematically and it hit every point. The actors are snug in their roles and stamping their characters. The drama makes you talk to yourself, the police work is thought out and everything looks delicious. Cool as fuck. 23-Sep-2019
They represent with no restraints and the teens are regarded with soul. The societal menace is heavier, coddling is out and the hurt is overwhelming. They are fighting a world adults complicated with wee survival skills. Beauty is diverse and it lingers because the writers keep tearing at it. 23-Nov-2018
If you preach and back it up with great talent, you supersede. 30-Jun-2021
Gorgeous ladies...and men, musical zest, smashing show and a hopeful ending. It broke it and healed it...the heart. 28-Aug-2019
"The Man That Got Away." Judy defined it and Billy spelled it out. 25-Aug-2019
It gave us a vogue teaser, it made gold edible and the love story was sexy. 23-Aug-2019
Ryan's episode didn't hand me an enigmatic vogue but it gave me beauty of soul. 23-Aug-2019
Do I have to vogue to earn a gay family like this or is that sentiment stuck in the past? The show retains its high sheen fabulosity but ballroom direction needs to stress its entertainment notch in order to fly closer to Billy Porter's coordination. 21-Jul-2019
The release was due to its faithful history and devotedly charged performances. 10-Jul-2018
Every week it grows in beauty and endearment. One more moon and Papa Murph makes me blow.
Christopher Meloni is now inducted into Daddy Squish Hall of Fame. 03-Jul-2018
It's about family. 27-Jun-2018
Ryan is tapping into the artistic awakening of its raw talent. Learning as they go. 24-Jun-2018
The seed has been planted but in order for it to grow it needs to escalate the celebration. 23-Jun-2018
Clovehitch Killer, The (2018)
It's based on a historical serial killer but it's not. Boy's disinterest in crime history is tested when he stumbles upon evidence that may incriminate a loved one. A teen investigation ensues. Obvious clues don't allow the mystery to spring forward. The family does not generate enough emotion to evoke compassion. There is no new imagination. Are we supposed to act like we don't know who the killer is? It's only directed that way? Charlie Plummer pulled away at the proximity of Dylan McDermott.That would have been useful for some guttural acting but no one thought of it. Dylan mocks his character and has no idea how to preach about God. We're cheering for a family that sucks and a film that associates cross dressing with psychos. 19-Jun-2021
Goodnight, Mommy (2014)
Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021
S2E2. Dude killed it by going woke. Just be yourself. 12-Jun-2021
Intelligently pondered and naturally funny. It would rather genuinely portray its aspects than coddle them. A mother to praise, a friend to boast and a sex life to dissect. Ryan O'Connell is less special and more like us. I hope he takes that as a compliment. 20-Apr-2019
Black and asian youngsters form an unlikely bond during a bukkake video performance. Black man can't climax until the soft whispers of an asian stranger help him out. Voila. Friends forever that will reach the heights of success by becoming the Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker of porn. Mope Tucker and Mope Chan are not impressive beings, they both have little dicks, are victims of whiteness (they don't know how to act black or asian) and they slurp while eating vagina. They can, however, take a swift kick to the balls, eat shit, drink piss and wipe it from the floor. A mope. Tucker wants to expand the brand and put them on display. "The first men on the cover of a porn box." Nathan Stewart expends every last nerve as a man clinging to the last piece of matter that keeps him grounded to an environment that isn't homeless. These parasites keep him sane and fucking. The boys with grand dreams become Steve Driver and Tom Dong. The friendship suffers from favoritism, jealousy and betrayal. Gangbanging the girlfriend tore a nerve, racist remarks cracked a spot, and the cameos hit their marks. It's cheapness adds to its' value. It smells like porn, your feet stick to the floor and the prettiest thing in the room is the popcorn machine. It's a true cis story that would translate well as a gay "great American novel." The guy incinerated from Bridgerton could play the smelly gay guy. 05-Jun-2021
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020
Married At First Sight (2014-)
Reunion 2. Haley & Jacob. Captain Rio was de feathered because Shrek dragons are heralded as heroes and roosters are unforgivable if they can't bring their chicks to climax. Daddy needs to go oink. We love the 80s and sitting on floppy dicks. Brown Robin. Dude, are you flirting with me? (see pic above.) I accept. Erik. Daddy was punished for being fatherly towards his daughter and not accepting that a girl her age needs to socialize with other boys. Wink, wink. Shlumber Party! The experts. Why didn't the ladies sit together? Woke hug moments missed. Wow. Dr. Pepper looked at Dr. Viv without contempt. Chris became a legal dispute. "We didn't know he was a schmuck. We got fooled just like everybody else. What are we experts? Good God." The children closed the show with a request to the viewers to treat them like the semi-gods they came on TV to be not like celebrities from Hollywood. Play-acting is real.
(Next season: cats! Dr Viv and hats! I'm on it.) 26-May-2021
Virginia & Erik. The big bad wolf, little red riding hood and grandma guts joined the reunion. Daddy was very proud of his little girl gushing googles and acting all Romper Room. If Virginia were a drunk she would remember something offputting about her buddies instead she feels closer to them after their slumber parties. Good cheap wine. Feminism cancelled "whoredom the thought" but not the feeling. Sorry, can't teach her anything. Pajama party on! Is that red cup mine? (I see drunk vaginal exams in her future.) Clara & Ryan. Ryan is still a "pussy" virgin. He'd rather marry her again than fuck her. Poor Starfire. Briana & Vincent. They were cute. Vincent got me when he laughed at the horse clip thinking about what I said. Looks like a pork roast is in daddy's future. The boss is gone. Chris & Paige. Everybody hates Chris and the show will do what's legally possible to humiliate him. 19-May-2021
Some contestants remained homeless. Dr. Pep stared at Dr. Viv with the same dread as a cat. There is no cure for bossy. 13-May-2021
Contract negotiations are up and the married strangers have to decide if the extra money is worth faking it for another year. Brown Robin & Hillbilly Starfire. I have no idea what he's saying and somebody needs to check her pilot light. Briana & Vincent. I knew he hated her. He wants a wife that will keep him company, light his stove and cook some delicious pork, not a congressional candidate. Why did she make him apologize for having a sexual preference but she couldn't return the courtesy for being bossy? Bossy is not attractive or empowering. They cancel people for that. See Leah Michelle. If he needs to change, she needs to change or some pork bitch is gonna steal him. Oops. He had his vengeance. He fucked up her hair! Haley & Jacob. The production offered her a lot of money and she is homeless. The dinner found them wanting to smirk, giggle and compare how much each received in contract negotiations. They couldn't even fake it. Virginia & Erik. The individuals were asked scripted questions by their very stiff friends except for Erik's daughter. Her sleepover pal (wink, wink) cowboy'd up, gave her a nod and asked "how much we gettin'?" Father is bossy too but children need enforcement so they don't grow up bossy. 29-Apr-2021
Virginia & Erik. Daddy was astounded that his cheating wife doesn't like surprises. The cats. Dude, speak to Doctor Viviana. She knows how to secretly get rid of cats. Briana & Vincent. Squish squirmed when his wife admitted to thieving. Did he marry a thug? The horse. Latin men think that if they fall off a horse, the horse will try to fuck them. Haley & Jacob. Haley didn't care that she and her partner knew all the game answers about each other, she was still punishing him for being a bad fuck. When daddy Rio drank from the trophy cup I wanted to bear Haley's burden. Oy. Brown Robin and Hillbilly Starfire made it to the retreat. The secret to a rotund butt is to eat lots of chips with dip and never stick your dick in a vagina. 15-Apr-2021
Elizabeth Harvest (2018)
Mad genius harvests wife until she gets it right. Ciaran Hinds does as he looks with no surprises. A better intro to Elizabeth's beginnings might have given the character depth because in the present, she's a dope. Carla Gugino wasted her brilliant cream and Matthew Beard creeped me out. The process of thinking is so wasteful. 14-May-2021
Bob Hearts Abishola (2019-)
The only actors doing Wakandans right. 11-May-2021
Is it improper for me to say that I wish someone else would love Abishola? 31-Mar-2020
The leads do not align, Bob's family grates and reverse hate is not progressive. 08-Nov-2019
Exploring multi-cultural attitudes to life problems is interesting. The black characters sparkle but their counterparts appear like unwanted houseguests. I'm sure good writing can fix that. (I liked it.) 25-Sep-2019
Housemaid, The (2010)
Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021
Summer House (2017-)
Reunion 2. The Hannah/Kyle dispute was tucked away. Kyle is the middle aged version of her fiancee and the man of her wet dreams. Carl's hands spoke and touched everyone. He did the giant thing and they swooned. Lindsay spoke like a man and got appreciation. Luke smashed Hannah's face in the jelly jar and brought down the fourth wall of reality TV. The host pretended minimally to scoop it up. "No. Really. It's not, we're not, I'm not, none of us are... fake. Really." 08-May-2021
Reunion. Hannah cried at every word rhyming with Luke and puked at every reference to Kyle. Kyle busted his rubber bands and walked out. Luke is still apologizing for being horny. Host did not offer Carl's giant hands their own seat or their own questions. 30-Apr-2021
I had a doll like Kyle once. He was blonde, four feet tall with rippling muscles, and a thong. He could pop rubber bands with his biceps. I had my seven foot black GI Joe fuck the shit out of him every day. My mother noticed the cum stains on Kyle and made him disappear. Something akin to how Hannah feels. She admired him in the toy store window when she was a tot but her mother wouldn't buy him for her. Shush, honey, that's only for boys. She can't get her hands on him. He's so disgustingly dominant for a little dick. I want him! No, I don't! Luke what? If I were Ciara I would have gotten Carl fucked up, up my dress and convulsing to his giant hands by now. Next morning. Car screeches away. Who was that? Carl. He had business to take care of. Really? Lindsay. Not being self-conscious of what she's doing makes her a really bad actress. Happy married with children! 23-Apr-2021
Stephen found out the hard way that there is no pleasing a woman. Dude, they're cocaine and we're weed. Wear them out. 05-Feb-2021
Temptation Island (2019-)
The series encourages eating from the forbidden fruit so when the lovers reunite they can be put on trial. The prettiest boy in the world is a conniving robot with missing essential parts. That girl DID NOT sleep with him! (Cue the video.) Dude, start experimenting with your pink hole. Gay and porn will provide you with a home and some play money. Erika & Kendal. Daddy Walberg did not let Kendal out of his seat until his dick was deep fried. Chelsea & Thomas. Thomas sat quietly as Daddy Walberg paraded all the better options his girlfriend has but later went backstage and pulled his hair out. It was growing in well too. Kristen & Julian. As flat as the pages of a fairytale that will never see publishing. We don't read Shakespeare but we talk like this? In cliches? Of course, the cheater didn't cheat while on Temptation Island. He no like that kind of candy. 29-Apr-2021
It's been a downcast season. I still want to sit on Mark Walberg, tweek his teets, burn into his baby blues while he provides psychological therapy and I rock up and down. Chelsea & Thomas. He promised his hair treatments would grow real hair in an allotted set of time and failed. She met someone whose plugs are finished, can lift things and doesn't shed. Erica & Kendal. She can punish him however she wants. He thought the purpose of the show was to go on a Fantasy Island type honeymoon and shoot some porn. Awesome, right? Honey, the court will look the other way. Anything you want. Erin & Corey. The most beautiful boy in the world and man's most popular choice. You want to lick his faults like ice cream but he's a pendejo. Yeah, we'll lick a pendejo, but he aint going to taste like ice cream for very long. The show paid a sex worker to tell him that what his willy can't accomplish his pretty face can. Rah, rah, rah...only if he joins our team as a super bottom. Viva Mexico! Kristen & Julian. Fake and shriveled up. Tempters get no empathy. Someone asked them if they wanted to go on TV and destroy some relationships and they said yes. Homeless deviants! 22-Apr-2021
The temptation is mighty man boobs. 21-Jan-2019