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All Posts Tagged as '2010s'

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Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil (2019) Arf

Jolie's Maleficent is a sublime creature that never got a good movie written about her. Her work remains unmatched. Jolie, learning etiquette was funny and bright. The dinner choreography didn't make sense. Maleficent overreacted when the prospective in-laws hadn't hit her soft spot yet. Her denial of murder should have been the catalyst. Once the scene is set, it skits, stalls, enchants and sentimentalizes. It's better than the first one.

Also, don't call a witch evil unless she eats babies. 21-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Beautiful, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Over the Top, Predictable, Relationships, Retread, Revenge, Star Watt, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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21-Jan-2021


Mandalorian, The (2019-) Woof

S1E2. In gaming lays the closest successful expansion of a beloved mythology. The creators present that inspiration along with a grand sense of fun. The child is everything. 19-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Action, Adorable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Music Rocks, Mystery, Sci-Fi, Star Watt, Tough, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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19-Jan-2021


90 Day Fiance (2014-) Howl

If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.

Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Good Acting, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Social Media, Tacky, Tough, Travel, World

Filed under: TV

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19-Jan-2021


Below Deck (2013-) Howl

Deck Nick Toon found that the easiest way to dump a banged out chick is to get the Chef drunk. Poor Mariah. Chef Loops was instantaneously diagnosed as an alcoholic because she told the truth. Casual drinkers can be falling down drunk and lie. Deck Rob is pining for Deck Toons and Deck Toons likes it. Cue drunk Chef Loops cursing them out. 19-Jan-2021
S8E11. Chef Loops is auditioning for SNL. The deckhand that looks like a TV Nick toon voiced by Boy George is shagging "Mariah Carey." That's what stupid hot looks like. Daddy Eddie. You won't find a better ham with great hair and the juiciest pig feet, ever. Get better Izzy. The Loops is cracking. The way "in" involves alcohol. Good luck, girl! If it works let new deck try it on deck Nick Toon. 18-Jan-2021
Eddie wanted to knock the foie gras out of Chef Loopy and I wanted to see that. Mariah still doesn't understand what the word try means. Izzy has a crush. Chef Loopy couldn't fake a nicety when the gays raved about her food. He was so emotional and she was so....who gives a fuck. Quack. She left because she didn't think "they" deserved 8 of her courses. Quack. There's hope, Izzy. 21-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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19-Jan-2021


Alice Through The Looking Glass (2016) Whimper

Alice trips that she's a pirate, the savior of the unrighteous (Mad Hatter) and a liberated heroine. Hahahahahahahahah. 18-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Depressing, Fantasy, Fatigue, Preposterous, Retread, Tacky, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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18-Jan-2021


Dumbo (2019) Arf

Everything elephant was precious but the presentation is preoccupied with telling the audience how to feel instead of writing it. If you can't find the words or interactions, add more magic. The pink elephants were successfully woven in. It was happy. 18-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Adorable, Beautiful, Camp, Chemistry, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Music Swings, Sap, Star Watt, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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18-Jan-2021


Hot Summer Nights (2017) Woof

If you want to see the privilege slapped and punched out of Timothee Chalamet this is the film for you. Tight and punishing. 12-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Touch, Drama, Good Acting, Magnetism, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twinkie, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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12-Jan-2021


I Feel Pretty (2018) Whimper

They conk a woman on the head to get her to realize that if she acts confident she can become something. Mumbo Jumbo is not needed for that. There are plenty of people who rely on confidence to achieve their goals without being pretty. Who better to represent badass confidence than Amy Schumer. She breaks a soul cycle and claims hilarity and sweetheart rights but I paid for a bitch not a strawberry. Maybe next year she can be conked and black. 30-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Good Idea, Music Swings, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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30-Dec-2020


Christmas Project, The (2016) Whimper

The adventures of future supremacists as they waft through their own battlefield of family traditions and alpha bullying. The parents are ditzoids driving their children to partake of a Christmas tradition called Elving. You leave presents on the doorsteps of needy/hopeless families everyday until Christmas. The town bullies are on the roster this year. The tween female interest cements hardons and impels macho competitions. She looks 20 while the boys look 8. Reality rarely sneaks in and there is no character to get attached to. I pictured future supremacist twink getting married in prison to his alpha bully supreme as he forever pays black fit homeless grand daddies with raspy voices for some sugar. The kindly school bus driver was black. 25-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Holiday, Mean Spirited, Tacky, Twinkie, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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25-Dec-2020


Below Deck (2013-) Howl

You'd think I would hate a gay charter that offered to eat Eddie before I was even finished with the crook of his back but I didn't. With the best dicks behind them the guests lounged on good food and company and I respect that. The chef didn't succumb to dick power and lowered her vagina expectations to a career. Her food looked so delicious that Izzy wondered how she must showcase in bed. Of course, she's straight. Listen, if you can convince Deck Ratched you can convince Chef Loopy. Give it a try. Somebody finally served the Captain a meal that didn't look like dog biscuits with low-fat milk. Baby Mariah is still complaining of having to work for a living. New deck and boring pretty deck played at lady conquerors but Eddie is the only one that knows how to corral a bitch. You go, daddy! Oh, except the Captain of course. The chief stew needs to loosen up or get rid of the outer layer of grease that surrounds her caricature. 21-Dec-2020
Mariah poisoned the crew with her ineptitude and her inability to understand. Chef turned green like Elphaba from Wicked and displayed a sudden allergic reaction to water. It looks like only a wizard can control that witch. Lazy CA twink got gangfucked out of the water. I know exactly where to start eating Eddie. The tip of his earlobe. If James is waiting for a female to make him sexually comfortable, he's not bi. Captain was disrespected. James needs to service him. Take a break Eddie. Why are women still crying at work? 15-Dec-2020
The Captain pimped himself out. The charter didn't die. I know exactly where to start eating Eddie. The California twink must spend a lot of time at senior centers. The one who isn't Hannah is still not Hannah. Mariah can only get her notes right. It looks like sunshine may be overcast and no longer in the running for a James hip break. 08-Dec-2020
The charter of the almost dead. Chief Stew sounds like Hannah but she's not Hannah. Watching Elizabeth work is like watching Mariah Carey exert herself. Izzy confirmed that James is a dick breaker. The almost dead charter confused expensive crab for one of their dick mates. Dudes, you're old and your palettes are dead, stop pretending. Did squishy Eddie serve the camera some bountiful hairy turkey ass? I Love it. 01-Dec-2020
The female crew invalidated gender equality by crying over missing clothing, exhaustion and other girly things. Give them some Boost. It pissed Izzy right out of there. She went deck crew. She knows how to man up. A charter of younglings dominated the boat and the elder younglings (crew) sort of resented them. The charter was immobile, always hungry, always full with a deep appreciation for good food. Why are we lobbing golf balls into the ocean? Pretty rich boy's hormones couldn't contain themselves and roared about James beauty and compared him to Tom Hardy. James was flattered to be Tom Hardy's butt. Girlfriend couldn't take the flirtation and walked away. Horny charter cared very little about girlfriend same sex annoyances. Woke means sex with anyone. Yes, girl, the bro thing is a rouge. He's rich, you want it, shut up. Chef Rachel made me hungry. Shane wants to be a fish. He always wants to shed clothing and swim. Naked sushi is disgusting. Daddy Cap enjoying babies running wild was cute. You want to take a bite out of Eddie but where to start? James became depressed when his crewmates refused to understand his accent and when he realized they took their jobs seriously. He had a discussion with Izzy that seemed chopped up but I think I got the gist. He was horny. Francesca would do. Izzy claimed he was horny for any hole including the pretty charter. "He'd need a hip replacement," he countered. I didn't get if he meant his ass was Hardy (breaks dicks) or his dick was powerful. The tip suggested he should have tried anyway. 24-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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21-Dec-2020


Saturday Night Live (2018-) No MoonsEarly Exit

The Christmas episode with Kristen Wiig. Wiig graced us with her professionalism but the balls to her pong were deflated. Lorne, when you choose diversity over talent you get this. The worst cast imaginable. There are exceptions, Jost and Che always overcome the overly fussed jokes and even though he can't get it right Beck Bennet's squishiness is succulent. He stays for one more round until he can prove himself. Pete Davidson's infamy will always precede his comedy. None of Wiig's skits worked. She was out of practice and sadly written. Dua Lipa can't act but she can swing a mean hat. 20-Dec-2020
I watch every once in a while. The man is no longer in the picture. 20-Dec-2020
My lover and I quit you. 30-Sep-2018
Matt revved it up, Rachel graced it, the steadies couldn't overcome it, the host is best I don't mention and Kanye shat all over it. His disdain for all art was evident on song #1, negligence of talent and profanity (titgate? really?) towards women appeared second and historic irrationality capped the finale. He was a man who had sold his soul to the devil even if it betrayed his race and himself. Trump deserves him.

It made me angry and in need of a horror bath. 30-Sep-2018

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, History, Horror, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Political, Preachy, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Unfunny, Weird

Filed under: TV

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20-Dec-2020


Amazing Race, The (2001-) Howl

The reason we get randomly smacked in the street by strangers just won The Amazing Race. It wasn't much of a competition and daddy got covered up. It wasn't that cold. Fuck you. 17-Dec-2020
My wish for the gay sisters is that they have only each other to fuck for the rest of their married lives. The alliance hates alphas and black people next. Someone informed Super Daddy to tighten his crotch but I remember. 09-Dec-2020
The hierarchy of society is measured by the alliances we keep. The contestants hate Indians next. Phil doesn't wear underwear. Thank you, daddy. 02-Dec-2020
Gays hate females especially blondes. Beards hate females especially blondes too. Only the gays appeared foul about it. The Indian sis and bro isolated themselves by being disgusted by India's alternative dental hygiene. Your ancestors are offended. Daddy Phil did not appease me with a thong challenge but football is still in and daddy crotch jeans were in full view. Thank you, Phil. 26-Nov-2020
S3E7. Gays are always the first to start an alliance and the first to fuck it up. Daddy black baller had pink fingernail polish and I will never forget that. Daddy bigger baller loves art. Tingly. The gays have become the stereotype representation that assists in community failure and that makes me bet against them. I like the asian straight couple. Phil, I beg you. Do not let those alpha beards or ballers go until after the skimpy underwear wet challenge. Dude, I know you have a preference for blondes but please think gay for just one episode. The house boy was a nice touch. Twink Twink. 19-Nov-2020
S32E2. Phil has sporty good taste in Colombian houseboys. They love you for longer minutes. I am not a snitch but there is more than one LGBTQ couple competing in the race. The sport alphas are giving it a good twirl. Wink, wink. I tolerate the gay cup. 17-Nov-2020
It's amazing because the stunts are crazy, the producers keep finding people that are not us to perform them, and Phil is a master conductor. 02-Feb-2018

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Action, Best in Reality, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, History, Hot Swatch, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Twisty, Unity, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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17-Dec-2020


Space Station 76 (2014) Woof

I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.

Highlights of the future:

We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves

The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection

The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style

The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse

It's clean

There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.

A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comic Book, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Director's Slice, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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13-Dec-2020


Dr. Seuss' The Grinch: Musical 2020)  Arf

The one time of the year where we show amnesty to a child predator banished to the caves because of a holiday. He turns green from a life of despair and lack of sexual perversity. Poor Max. Matthew Morrison is hated for his perfect curls, right amount of body hair, a nice gut and Leah Michelle professionalism and he knows it. Perfect casting for the The Grinch. The musical doesn't suck because of him, it is saved by him. A professional never sweats, never disconnects and never stops giving it their all. The mask lets him down but daddy was fully encapsulated. We hate daddy for calculating our pleasure but we'd eat it ASAP if we were caught in a forest or in a bathroom by accident. Wink. Wink. The songs are very outdated. Kids can't eat all the sweets that fill them. They don't know what sweets are and their parents can't remember why they banned them. It is a Whoville delicacy. The white bear meat looked really tasty too. Anyway, the pederast wants to destroy Whoville Christmas to honor the anniversary of when he got caught molesting a child that wasn't related. Cindy Lou saves the day, a green man woody makes a comeback, they all exchange presents they can't return and a molester makes it back home. 10-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Celebrity, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Musical, Overcooked, Showy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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10-Dec-2020


Rust Creek (2018)  Whimper

Little girl with a city attitude thinks she can ruff it in the wild where dicks run free and viagra doesn't help. It's an ode to hillbilly hate, police corruption and fine young specimens in peril. Nothing works, the whole is an extension to corroborate a repetitive premise whose replacement parts don't carry on. Poor stupid girl. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mystery, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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07-Dec-2020




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