All Posts Tagged as 'Family'
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I’m Against Catholic Teachings
Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband and I have a fantastic toddler and live in a large city, where we’re looking into private school options. We have whittled our options down to two. Both institutions are amazing places with fantastic, warm, loving staff and parents/guardians/students. One is Catholic, the other is Quaker. We’re trying to decide between the two schools and would love your guidance.
The Catholic school is academically rigorous, has great class sizes, is a Blue Ribbon school, and is a block from where my husband works in case of a midday school emergency. However—and I say this as a product of the parochial school system myself—it promotes Catholic perspectives on premarital sex, homosexuality, abortion, and other beliefs that we don’t subscribe to. The Quaker school, on the other hand, has a progressive curriculum, is designed around project-based learning, does not get homework-heavy until grade 5, and promotes core values that are in alignment with how we are raising our daughter.
The Quaker school’s curriculum—and general vibe—will help our kid develop into a critical thinker and a compassionate contributor to the world. HOWEVER, it is considerably more expensive (it would require some sacrifice on our part), and it would add another hour to our already hectic morning commute. In other words, it will make life more difficult on a day-to-day basis. Since our child will get an excellent education at either place, how do we pick between daily quality of life for us and the values system to which our child will be exposed?
—Waiting for an Answer From the Spirit
Own Me - bulow
A surrogate blackmailed a gay couple for parental rights of their newborn twin daughters
Steven and Marc Winchester-Horscraft — a married gay couple from Shropshire, England — have launched a crowdfunding campaign to help cover the $34,100 in legal costs after the surrogate mother of their newly born twin girls refused to sign over parental rights unless they paid her an additional $4,000 on top of the $22,300 they’d already paid to cover her other fees.
In their GoFundMe page, Steven wrote that their “long, excruciating nightmare” began when their twin girls were born prematurely at 28 weeks instead of the usual 37 weeks. As a result, the newborns had lots of health difficulties.
After their surrogate announced that she had gone into labor, the couple took a 3.5-hour drive to the hospital to find out upon arrival that their second daughter was a “breech birth” (coming out feet- or butt-first rather than head-first). The dangerous delivery condition that left the infant “covered from head to toe in bruises.”
Court tosses out case against social workers accused of ignoring torture of 8-year-old “gay” boy
Help! Is There a Nice Way to Tell My Husband He’s Racist?
Q. An ugly view I didn’t see before: I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. He’s a great husband and has always seemed like a compassionate and open-minded person. In the last year or two, however, I’ve been having to call him out on racist language and attitudes. At first it was in the car. He usually drives, and if someone cuts him off or does something he doesn’t like, his language is almost always racist—they’re a “f—ing N-word” or a “f—ing Asian.” Despite my calling him out on it every time, he has gradually gotten bolder about expressing racist attitudes that never surfaced early in our relationship. Today he proudly told how he had joked to a waitress during lunch with the guys, “When you said merry Christmas, you left out my buddy here. He celebrates Kwanzaa, har-de-har-har!” I was horrified that he had made a racist joke in public and told him so. He didn’t see it that way, and we had a terrible argument. I got pretty upset, and I called him a racist. I don’t want to mirror his name-calling, and that only escalated the argument. He insists he is “really not a racist,” but these incidents are giving me an ugly view of him I didn’t see before. I believe he is a good person and is capable of changing this behavior. Can you give me some guidance on language I can use to help him do some self-reflection?
Tampa Man Charged With Threatening to Wipe Out City's Gay Community
A Tampa, Fla., man has been arrested on charges of making a threat to wipe out the city’s gay community in a mass shooting.
Ralph Perkins, 50, made the threat after being rejected on a dating app, police told the Tampa Bay Times. The app was not identified.
Terrorists planted a bomb in their gay brother’s luggage because he brought “shame” to the family
Attackers kicked & punched a gay man while shouting slurs. Now the victim is fleeing New York City.
Gay newlyweds say their honeymoon was ruined after cruise ship staff mocked them nonstop
Judge who was sanctioned for being anti-LGBTQ sues to get a religious exemption from the law
How to survive the holidays when your family doesn't know you're gay
No one wants to spend Christmas in the closet, but for many people, it’s a fact of life. Even though I am very publicly queer, some of my extended family members have opted out of processing that message. I rarely see them, but when I do, everyone pretends I’m not gay. While I’m a big fan of coming out, for some folx, coming out can be emotionally or physically dangerous. Trying to spend quality time with people who don’t acknowledge your identity can be alienating and painful. I asked some of my most trusted mental health experts how we can deal with spending the holidays with family who don't know you're gay.
Identify what your choices are...
The first thing you need to know is that you have choices. “I think one of the most important things is to decide whether or not you want to spend time with family members who don't know,” says Stefani Goerlich, a Detroit-based psychotherapist. “Not everyone is ready to come out to their relatives, but for those that are ready, being forced back into the closet for the holidays can be an incredibly painful experience.”
Miss Manners Responds to Christians Who Don't Want Gays at Christmas
It’s the year 2019 and the syndicated column Miss Manners still gets questions from readers intent on engaging in polite homophobia.
A new letter to the column asked how a family of “Biblical believers” can make sure a gay relative doesn’t bring his boyfriend over for Christmas.
“We believe homosexuality to be a serious sin, and do not like being put in the position of appearing to condone it,” reads the anonymous submission.
Grandparents sound off: We don’t want to baby-sit!
“From Day 1, I said, ‘I don’t baby-sit,’?” says Betty, a Midwood grandmother who broke the news to her son and his wife when they told her they were expecting. Even so, she agreed to watch their infant one evening when the couple went to a wedding. But she didn’t stay long, calling them to say their baby wouldn’t stop crying. “When they came home, I gave them $20 and I said, ‘Go hire a baby sitter.’?”
Still, the 65-year-old — who asked that her last name not be used, for privacy reasons — insists that her refusal to baby-sit has nothing to do with her love for her children. “I feel like I paid my dues,” she says, adding that, as a stay-at-home mother, she never had any outside help caring for her brood. “I’d rather be honest with my kids than resent them. My friends who [baby-sit] will privately say they resent it.”
A letter to my racist in-laws
“It’s because you have foreign blood in you, that’s why you live 350 miles from home,” my uncle says to me. Noah* is sat next to me. Embarrassed, I look down into my dinner and mumble “well, what about my brother? He’s always lived close by.” I try and disrupt his logic. “Well he’s different, isn’t he?” My uncle carries on talking. I stop listening. I’m angry. Why has no one interrupted him? Why is no one sticking up for me?
It’s Easter Sunday, 2018. I’m at my parents’ house for a family gathering with both sides of my family. My uncle is white. My dad is white. My mum is brown. I’m mixed race. My mum was born in Mauritius, she moved to the UK when she was a baby in the ‘50s. My parents, who have been together since the ‘80s have never addressed the issue of race. I think they just wanted to keep their heads down in the hope that things would get better. Racist comments like those from my uncle are commonplace at my family gatherings.
Noah is my partner. He’s white. His family are racist too.
Are Kids Naturally Racist?
How to deal with unaware racist parents
I Stood Up To My Racist Dad Because It’s Time To Break The Cycle
My grandfather was so devastated by grandmother's cheating and impregnation by the family pastor that when he moved to NY, he became a warlock. He was the most affluent and secured force in the family, with my god fearing mother his apprentice and I a witness. 24-Oct-2019
We're not allowed to complain about getting old. The new adults (any person not our age) are so adamant about excluding themselves from God's given fate that they will extricate you to locations that fossilize the brain until you can't remember Marvel movies. I'm scared, my gayby is a Nazi. 18-Oct-2019
Our mothers raise us to perpetuate macho proclivities whilst removing our power. 05-Oct-2019
What Kids Who Bully Often Have In Common
When parents, educators and mental health professionals talk about bullying, there is understandably a lot of emphasis on the victims. But in focusing solely on victims in anti-bullying efforts, an important part of the equation gets forgotten: the kids who do the bullying.
“Bullying is not a one-time event or a random act of mean behavior but rather a pervasive, ongoing pattern of aggression targeted toward another child who in some way has less power in the relationship,” explained school psychologist Rebecca Branstetter, noting that it’s important to distinguish it from other forms of aggressive behavior or typical childhood conflicts.
Obviously every child who bullies comes from different circumstances and has different reasons for this behavior. There is no one profile of a bully, as each child who engages in this conduct has a unique set of challenges. But there are many common traits and experiences among bullies, and examining them can be beneficial.
‘I Had to Put Her Down’: Kansas Man Accused of Beating His Mom to Death
A Kansas man is accused of beating his mom to death.
Lucas Mauritzen, 38, has been charged with first-degree murder in the death of Tamera Rainey.
According to police records filed on Monday and first obtained by KCTV-5, police allege that Mauritzen told a neighbor “I had to put her down,” after he allegedly killed her.
The neighbor said that in response to Mauritzen’s statement, he asked if he was referring to putting a dog down. Mauritzen allegedly responded, “Mom.”
Homeowner shoots dead two teens allegedly trespassing on his property in Ohio
'It feels like nowhere is safe': St. Louis children confront a wave of gun violence
As predictably expected, there are no more Amazons in my life. They confused controlling my life as support. 28-Aug-2019
None remain but one. Support is a script they memorized but never felt. 27-Jul-2019
Life lessons have taught my amazons to be more understanding. They are fully supporting me and I couldn't be more proud and humbled. 15-May-2019