All Posts Tagged as 'Family'
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A letter to my racist in-laws
“It’s because you have foreign blood in you, that’s why you live 350 miles from home,” my uncle says to me. Noah* is sat next to me. Embarrassed, I look down into my dinner and mumble “well, what about my brother? He’s always lived close by.” I try and disrupt his logic. “Well he’s different, isn’t he?” My uncle carries on talking. I stop listening. I’m angry. Why has no one interrupted him? Why is no one sticking up for me?
It’s Easter Sunday, 2018. I’m at my parents’ house for a family gathering with both sides of my family. My uncle is white. My dad is white. My mum is brown. I’m mixed race. My mum was born in Mauritius, she moved to the UK when she was a baby in the ‘50s. My parents, who have been together since the ‘80s have never addressed the issue of race. I think they just wanted to keep their heads down in the hope that things would get better. Racist comments like those from my uncle are commonplace at my family gatherings.
Noah is my partner. He’s white. His family are racist too.
Are Kids Naturally Racist?
How to deal with unaware racist parents
I Stood Up To My Racist Dad Because It’s Time To Break The Cycle
My grandfather was so devastated by grandmother's cheating and impregnation by the family pastor that when he moved to NY, he became a warlock. He was the most affluent and secured force in the family, with my god fearing mother his apprentice and I a witness. 24-Oct-2019
We're not allowed to complain about getting old. The new adults (any person not our age) are so adamant about excluding themselves from God's given fate that they will extricate you to locations that fossilize the brain until you can't remember Marvel movies. I'm scared, my gayby is a Nazi. 18-Oct-2019
Our mothers raise us to perpetuate macho proclivities whilst removing our power. 05-Oct-2019
What Kids Who Bully Often Have In Common
When parents, educators and mental health professionals talk about bullying, there is understandably a lot of emphasis on the victims. But in focusing solely on victims in anti-bullying efforts, an important part of the equation gets forgotten: the kids who do the bullying.
“Bullying is not a one-time event or a random act of mean behavior but rather a pervasive, ongoing pattern of aggression targeted toward another child who in some way has less power in the relationship,” explained school psychologist Rebecca Branstetter, noting that it’s important to distinguish it from other forms of aggressive behavior or typical childhood conflicts.
Obviously every child who bullies comes from different circumstances and has different reasons for this behavior. There is no one profile of a bully, as each child who engages in this conduct has a unique set of challenges. But there are many common traits and experiences among bullies, and examining them can be beneficial.
‘I Had to Put Her Down’: Kansas Man Accused of Beating His Mom to Death
A Kansas man is accused of beating his mom to death.
Lucas Mauritzen, 38, has been charged with first-degree murder in the death of Tamera Rainey.
According to police records filed on Monday and first obtained by KCTV-5, police allege that Mauritzen told a neighbor “I had to put her down,” after he allegedly killed her.
The neighbor said that in response to Mauritzen’s statement, he asked if he was referring to putting a dog down. Mauritzen allegedly responded, “Mom.”
Homeowner shoots dead two teens allegedly trespassing on his property in Ohio
'It feels like nowhere is safe': St. Louis children confront a wave of gun violence
As predictably expected, there are no more Amazons in my life. They confused controlling my life as support. 28-Aug-2019
None remain but one. Support is a script they memorized but never felt. 27-Jul-2019
Life lessons have taught my amazons to be more understanding. They are fully supporting me and I couldn't be more proud and humbled. 15-May-2019
Should I Intervene With a Kid Who Says He Is Depressed?
Dear Care and Feeding,
My 11-year-old son has been friends with “Paul” for more than two years. During that time, Paul has been suspended from school multiple times for his language (he drops the F-bomb constantly, has called his teacher the B-word, etc.) and disruptive behavior. He’s known to deliver very colorful commentary on how he sees the world, shouting out some particularly interesting bits at times. Nevertheless, Paul is a smart and sensitive kid, and I am rooting for him. We all are.
The reason I’m writing is because Paul recently told my son that he sneaks and drinks his mother’s vodka when he’s feeling depressed, which is “most of the time,” in his words. He has mentioned those feelings before, and I’m also aware that telling tall tales is part of his swagger. For the most part, we take them in stride, but the combination of the alleged drinking and depression made me pause. I’m honestly not sure if Paul is just trying to look cool or if he’s trying to ask for help.
My plan, which I shared with my son, is to wait and see if Paul ever talks to me about these issues, and to then talk to a grown-up who has some oversight in his life, i.e., the school principal or his teacher. I wonder if I’m doing enough or if I should do more, though I’m not even sure what that would entail, as a conversation with his parents seems impossible—they are not at all approachable. Am I just sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong? Your thoughts are appreciated.
—All Eyes on Paul
The doctor will accuse you now
A recent essay in Time Magazine called for a massive expansion of the nanny state through mandatory medical screening of children for signs of child abuse. The proposal, which is based on the assumption that racial bias is causing doctors to miss some cases of abuse, would strip doctors of the ability to apply reasoned, clinical judgment to cases and would require them to subject children to a battery of x-rays whenever bruising or other marks are noticed. Proponents of the plan — not its opponents, mind you — have given it the appropriately dystopian moniker, “think less, screen more.”
Perhaps as shocking as the plan itself is how nonchalant the essay’s authors, Dr. Richard Klasco and Dr. Daniel Lindberg, are about the life-altering consequences of their proposal. In an apparent attempt to downplay the harm that their plan will cause, Klasco and Lindberg wrongly suggest that the worst that will happen if they get their way is “some non-abused children will be screened, and some non-abusive parents will be offended.”
Todd Chrisley's estranged daughter Lindsie Chrisley speaks out on family's legal drama
Lindsie Chrisley is speaking out on the heels of her reality television star dad and his wife being indicted on tax evasion and other federal charges this week.
“Lindsie would like to thank all of her fans and supporters. The circumstances Todd and Julie find themselves in, is quite unfortunate," her Atlanta-based attorney Musa Ghanayem released in a statement on her behalf. “It was reported that Lindsie was the source of the information that led to her father’s arrest. That is untrue."
Police: Kentucky man cracked 8-year-old's head, raped her
Police say a Kentucky man ruled mentally incompetent in a sexual assault has now raped and robbed an 8-year-old girl whose skull he fractured with a shovel.
News outlets report 29-year-old Cane L. Madden was arrested Saturday on charges of first-degree rape, assault and robbery. A judge declined a request to dismiss the charges Monday and entered a not guilty plea for him.
Sex Crimes Detective Who Raped Teen Victim While Investigating Her Case Gets 3 Years in Prison
Female paedophile, 26, admits raping children and taking indecent images before boasting in 'exceptionally graphic' detail about her abuse online
Pastor accused of preying upon Houston teen who sought help
Man Convicted Of Sexually Abusing Girl For Years
Suspect Arrested in Sexual Assault at Planned Parenthood
New York eyewear store employee arrested after allegedly exposing himself to children
United Airlines passenger accused of placing camera in first-class bathroom
NEW LAWSUIT AGAINST U.S. OLYMPIC FIGURE SKATING COACH ALLEGES SEXUAL ABUSE, ATTEMPTS TO SILENCE VICTIM
She was an American child bride. Now, Genevieve is fighting to stop it from happening to others.
Feel The Love - Menzi Mngoma, Hendrik Joerges
Daddy rewinds the end of the world... 02-Aug-2019
We don't want to talk to kids about sex but we will allow them to assign whatever sex they like. When I was a kid I never thought about sex, even when I was being abused. I believe they should be allowed to express themselves but we shouldn't sway them either way and parents overreact when society views them. Loving them should come naturally. Putting so much pressure on it makes the media a bad parent. Why can't we accept that people will behave in a certain way when they have different beliefs. In the Bizzarro World my mother would have made me wear dresses because I played with a doll. I would have hated that. Pretending is not acquiescing. Eventually, they will hurt you. We need to encourage children to detach from negative people, not support them while they stab you in the back.
Parents destroy us but only the world can kill us. You want to create a better environment for LGBTQ youth to strive in, give them survival skills. Barking at other dogs isn't going to save them. You need to reach the wolves.
Hipitty-Hop and religion are notoriously hostile to LGBTQ yet we revere and turn the other cheek. God might strike us down and the black community will kill us. (We didn't struggle when they killed disco even though it spoke to our community.) So we keep going to Chick-fil-A and pretend that talking is finally singing. Why don't we hit what reverberates? Almost every gay white single has hip-hop listed as a preference but would never date anyone of color. We continue to masturbate to celebrities that hate us. We hate stereotypes but are constantly bombarded by them. We think commitment is a roommate and what's left over from a surrogate's abortion. We need to fix us to teach our children. We don't need coddling, we need action. My mother prays for everything while doing nothing. The world is ending...we can't save it...what do we do? (Give your kids some fucking books so they can become smart and solve that shit themselves.) Why are we making our lives more miserable to satisfy a kid of your kid I will never meet.
How about punishing parents who throw LGBTQ kids out into the street? It sounds like a crime. Start there. If parents raise a bully they should be fined and be required to attend parental classes. Fuck, make future parents get licenses to have kids.
If you're not going after the big guns, you are all hypocrites and your kids will continue to perish.
Campaigns shouldn't ring bells but bang drums... 01-Aug-2019
As a society we assign tremendous power to family esp. "the parents." I've never met these "mortals fantastic," generated from a Hollywood dream. Every parent is a composite of things well intentioned and future regrets. They know they can't be perfect therefore the excuses.
Mother: I was a single mother with no money fighting for our lives yet I found a way to clean them and feed them. Wilfred was his name.
Everybody applauded her and put her on a pedestal. It was an argument no child could win. The world was incapable of seeing her true self. She brewed a glow from a mother's sacrifice. We were branded silly little liars if my sister or I complained to an adult. Now, I am clinically insane so they wont believe my stories of abuse. Family first. Keep your witnesses close and the snitches chained.
She accepted my coming out with a "but" and a lifetime of attempts at changing it.
Mother: thank God you're not a flamer. I wouldn't know what to do with myself.
You mean it could have been worst?
She drugged me so I could sleep with a cousin while two other cousins and herself, watched and cheered. She had my lesbian aunt make out with my boyfriend and grind on him so no one would question anybody's sexuality. When I would break up with a boyfriend she'd scowl at me and tell me to get over it. It wasn't real love. It was two guys. My stepfather concurred. I sounded like a maniac rendering my feelings.
Mother: you should stop this shit now with the guys. Only a woman can make you happy.
I had to come out every time it didn't work out with a boy.
To everyone, she represented survival and progression. She accepted everyone. She was a goddess. She knew the power of a woman. She was not a threat to her brethren and she knew what a man wanted. She told me it was pretense. It was a secret between mother and son. She created a role fitting the person she was trying to mentally seduce from pieces scattered in her reality. She changed them. (OMG. That's Errattic.)
Blah, blah, blah...she's a monster.
I believe every person deserves respect. Every time the media latches onto the joy of parenting without consideration to how the child feels, it's inconsiderate. You are giving them the right to kill us. Almost every person I've ever met has been abused by their parents. We act like it's an anomaly. My mother told me she loved me everyday and did unimaginable things to me. She'd rather celebrate my failures than allow me a win.
Mother: I told you so.
The scary parents aren't going to be talking to experts about their skills. Experts are for the privileged. They have their own fuck-ups. These are the parents we are confusing and bullying to love everything about a kid. Just because they said "hello" doesn't mean that they will love you. Those parents are going to bolt the door and you will find out about the abuse when he or she is dead. That's dangerous.
We don't need scary people pretending. They will infiltrate your lives and wait for that moment to slice you because..."they told you so."
Teach the kids to run. It never gets better. "They never understood, they just accepted it."
In old age mother finds different but no less strategic ways to abuse. It always takes me back to the room where I cowered from her fists as a wee.
I wish society would allow us to shoo away the monster without guilt.
"It only takes one member to poison a family." 01-Aug-2019
Mother of boy found in Denver storage unit pleads to abuse
A mother pleaded guilty Thursday to child abuse resulting in the death of her 7-year-old son whose body was found in a Denver storage unit, in a deal requiring her cooperation with prosecutors who have charged the boy's father with murder.
The plea agreement approved by a judge recommends that Elisha Pankey spend between 16 and 32 years in prison. Prosecutors said she will not be sentenced until after the trial of her husband, Leland Pankey.
Elisha Pankey, 43, did not speak during the brief court appearance aside from answering a judge's questions about her understanding of the agreement.
Previously released court documents revealed she began cooperating with investigators two months after she was charged. The mother told investigators in March that her husband physically abused Caden McWilliams and was not feeding the boy.
Mom Charged After Bringing Deceased Daughter to E.R. Had Son Who Choked to Death in April
The Latest: Family of ex-cop convicted of rape "devastated"
The family of a former Oklahoma City police officer convicted of rape says it's devastated that a court has rejected his appeal.
The Oklahoma Court of Criminal Appeals on Thursday upheld the convictions of 32-year-old Daniel Holtzclaw.
A statement from Holtzclaw's sister, Jenny Holtzclaw, said Holtzclaw is also devastated, but strong, and that the family will "pursue every available avenue" to prove his innocence and win his freedom.
Prosecutors accused Holtzclaw of targeting black women and girls while on duty. He was convicted in 2015 on 18 charges involving seven women and a teenage girl. He was sentenced to 263 years in prison.
Thorbjorn Olesen Arrested on Suspicion of Sexual Assault, Being Drunk on Plane
Ashley Wagner Says She Was Sexually Assaulted by Another Skater
Five Ohio police officers face disciplinary action over Stormy Daniels strip club arrest