All Posts Tagged as 'Respect'

Young peope who define themselves as asexual have been sharing the often negative reactions they experience if they're open about their lack of sexual desire - including being told they simply haven't 'met the right person'.

One of the most prominent voices for the asexual community in the UK is 24-year-old Yasmin Benoit, a model and activist who wants to raise visibility of asexuality and aromanticism.

'They were, like: 'You don't look asexual, you're probably just insecure, or you must have got molested or you must be gay? Maybe you're a psychopath', said Yasmin.

I met my husband 13 years ago, and we’ve been together ever since. We fell deeply, madly in love with each other and have been married for nine wonderful years now. He’s patient, kind, gentle-hearted. He’s also always been honest about being gay and has never hidden it from me. Only one of our mutual friends knows this about my husband. Our son also knows, since we thought it would be best to remain open with him about it, so he never “found out” by surprise or from our mutual friend. Our son took the news very well and doesn’t care that his father was gay.

I’ve never told my family, or really any of my friends, as I think they’d all be judgmental. My siblings don’t like my husband, but that’s a different letter in itself. So I’ve always kept it bottled up inside. He’s been married before, and divorced, to a straight woman, with whom he has a grown daughter. I’m a straight woman too. I’ve asked my husband about it, and he confirms that he’s gay, not bisexual. He left his first wife because of a lot of problems (and her infidelity), then he was in a few different relationships with other men, before he met his ex-boyfriend. They were still living together when we met. I’m confused by it all, and it has, at times, caused problems in our marriage, because of my lack of self-confidence. I have doubts that he might leave me someday for a gay relationship like he did his ex-wife. We’ve both been faithful to each other, and he loves me, and I love him. But is that good enough for him? Would you consider him bisexual or gay?

—Not-Quite-Lavender Marriage

Q. Baby, not grandchild: Our oldest daughter is nearing 40 and frustrated by her lack of prospects in having a husband, a home, and a child. Her standards are profoundly high: must make six figures, be 6 feet tall, and no previous marriages or children. She is divorced herself. She is a very driven career woman and works 60 hour weeks regularly.

She announced to her father and me that she will be proceeding forward as a single mother and getting a sperm donation. We were happy but hesitant. That quickly turned to horror when our daughter told us she was looking to move back home with us. Her expectations were that I would be taking care of the baby while she continued her career normally. I love my children and I love my grandchildren, but I am done raising babies. My husband and I are nearing retirement and have plans that do not include diapers and midnight feedings.

We told our daughter this would not be possible and she became upset. She accused us of being “selfish” and denying her the chance of being a mother. My husband lost his temper and told her the only one who was being selfish here was her. She is the one making the choice to have a child and demanding everyone rearrange their lives over it. At this point, our daughter is no longer talking to us but is speaking to her siblings. She is proceeding with her plan and has an appointment at a clinic. If this works, this will be our first biological grandchildren (our son married a woman with older children). It breaks my heart that we might miss this. We tried reaching out to our daughter but no response. She can carry a grudge to the grave. What can we do here?

“My granddaughter just informed me she has decided she would be happier living as a boy, and she has gone so far as to legally change her name,” the grandmother, labeling herself “Grandma in Pain” wrote. “I want to be supportive, but I admit I’m having a lot of trouble accepting it, or at least figuring out how to deal with it.”

“She’s my only grandchild and most likely the only one I’ll ever have,” Grandma in Pain continued. I loved my granddaughter with all my heart, and I don’t know how to shift gears to a grandson. I keep stumbling when I try to use the new name. I would welcome any suggestions you could make, including information about support groups you might know of.”