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All Posts Tagged as 'Mystery'

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Ozark (2017-2022) HowlDowngradeWoof

Oh no! I'm fucked! 10-May-2022
I got it as soon as my sister uttered the words. "They got used to it." 08-May-2022
Wendy Byrde burst out. A mother of common sense, female liberation and purpose. A woman fighting against her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. 08-May-2022
Only an asshole named Marty Byrde or Jason Bateman can ruin Rhoda Mogenstern's career. 08-May-2022
James Cameron didn't bother because a lake is not an ocean. 08-May-2022
DePalma would have lovingly dumped them. 08-May-2022
Hitchcock would have killed them. 08-May-2022
Spielberg would have pulled their hearts out. 08-May-2022
Nolan would have ended smiles and piled up the exposition. 08-May-2022
Tarantino would have ended it with a Batdance. 08-May-2022
Larry David would have killed them all and laughed. 08-May-2022
The resolution to "out of nothingness" is to become rich. Superiority is applied when survival is imminent. Destruction of non-family matters are predetermined. Pretend as we may, the biggest construct our parents ever created is us. 08-May-2022
S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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10-May-2022


Superman & Lois (2021-) WoofDowngrade

Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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07-May-2022


Parallel Mothers (2021) Arf

When Almodovar embraces Hitchcockian ambience it is sublime but when he attempts a Spielbergian signature it deprives the film of a punch. Two mothers, both strangers share a common thread that conflicts with their lives. Even though the outcome is easy to determine, the presentation is a shivering buildup. Penelope Cruz maintains her hold until Almodovar gives up. Her mother doesn't crumble as the film's psychology implies. She wraps it up without a challenge. The ending is part Schindler's List and part Indiana Jones/Jurassic Park. I welcome a latin Spielberg inspiration with cheeky heroes and dinosaurs but I can't forgive a spanish mother that doesn't wreck. A spanish mother is the T-Rex of emotion. 23-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign: Spanish, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Music Swings, Mystery, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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23-Apr-2022


Kindred (2020) Whimper

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Inactivity, Mystery, Psychological, Quiet, Slow, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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20-Apr-2022


Batman, The (2022) Arf

The Batman is the only character that suits up. How lonely for him. He's always the freak. The support enact realistic iterations of characters that lit up Batman's mythology to absolutely no effect. The Riddler is a demented teen who was brought up by an unfunny father who worked the mines. The riddles were blah. There is no Riddler without a tight body suit, a tight body and demented cynicism. Daddy Farrell wasted a lot of time in makeup, creating art out of a role that doesn't belong. He is not penguin. I didn't see any top hats, monocles or bullet umbrellas. Michelle Pfeiffer's reign as the best film Catwoman cannot be extinguished. Zoe is an everyday gorgeous girl not a cat. Her cowl is just as cheap and unintelligible as I expected. Her lack of meow hurts. Commissioner Gordon was a lackey. Everything was eeeeewww and he was always waiting for Batman to finish things up for him. Daddy Turturro knew exactly what the director wanted and gave it to us. Alfred and Bruce's interaction was rude. The parental bond was cold. Why hire an Aunt Harriet if she's not going to be an Aunt Harriet? That might have been fun. Oops. Sorry. Fun not allowed. The Twins were cute. Robert Pattinson is the glue you want to stick to because he makes you ponder how his beautifully broken humanity can create life from something he hates. I saw love in Zoe's face when she looked at him. I saw panty dropping aloofness register from his. Batman's narration doesn't mesh with toxic revenge. The moments he celebrated were my cringe. This isn't Batman. He doesn't laud himself or others. He's a lonely motherfucker that hates the world because he lost mommy and daddy to crime and got stuck in a mansion with a pervy butler. Batman's detective work failed from a lack of gadget magic. Yeah! Rich angry fucks love gadgets. Matt Reeves strikes potent pictures but was entrapped by a franchise that is petrified of its origins. The man/woman who gives us comic book Batman with realistic choices will become King of The World. What's the point of hiding in the shadows if everyone can hear you? 18-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Cliche, Comic Book, Director Movement, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Sentimental, Star Watt, Thriller, Too Long, TV-like, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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18-Apr-2022


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

Lascelle's back fat jutted out of his giant torso and it was spectacular. The tip of his well crafted ass sparked memories of cracked wishbones. It was a lighter shade of his skin color. It was so wonderfully squishy. I imagined his ass sparkling in the dark. Beautiful contrast. Kittykats came to nip at homeboy but he became enraged. He only has eyes for hostile women. Two men got to see their future exes get it on with Hollywood sex workers. Mark Wahlberg attempted to bring skinny jeans back. Please let him. Girls have extensions, men need to parade what make gays swoon. It's joyful. Brains don't count. It was a black thing wasn't it. You didn't want to see it constantly. Thank God for latin TV, they are always five years behind. Back to the horny women. They were both riotous but only one moaned for more and then more. Was the fucker at his limit or was she granting him the permission to add two more inches every 20 seconds? Either way. Yikes!! 14-Apr-2022
Daddy's teeth don't work in a bonfire setting either. Okay. Some of those idiot things are melting my loins. Ack! 13-Apr-2022
Open marriages exist when one partner grows weary of the other's sex. You think? 31-Mar-2022
Mark Walberg's teeth are so white that he clashes with the sun. If you can't trust a man because he texts other girls you are Sherlock Holmes not paranoid. Fuck you, therapists! None of the boys are worth fealty. They're ack! There is some pretty ones on the Hollywood hooker side of the group but the caliber of men is very "Oscar," not deserving this year. A beast brother is rocking blue eyes and Cindy Brady curls. Ack. A guy from the Bronx is auditioning for West Side Story 2. Double ack. One of the tempted males is rocking doggy style long hair. You know, the haircut that separates the weave from your hair by curling at a non realistic point like all the females are wearing. Ghastly. 18-Mar-2022

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

Filed under: TV

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14-Apr-2022


Superman & Lois (2021-) WoofDowngrade

A "special" episode of "Lois and Friends." Sarah canceled Jordan because he spent 15 minute intervals without her. She now can venture safely into lesbian land. Daddy Latino with a white boy name almost burned to death for cheating. Karma. Jonathan rocked biker gear. He might actually become "someone." Natalie chastised her father for forgetting her mother. Daddy succumbed by opening old wounds, bleeding and remembering a lost love again and again and again. 30-Mar-2022
Daddy Supe can hear an avalanche in Russia but not his son inhaling drugs or the locals plotting against him. The writers gifted the women "no responsibility" for the maladies of life. Lana's husband didn't cheat on her because she became a teeny bore, he did it because he felt like it. Jordan's girlfriend wasn't selling drugs to be a criminal, she wanted to look good for him. Lois' sister was married to a dancer, enough said. That lady with the pendant and the books, keeps on living. Why? Lana's daughter is having a hard time with her boyfriend Jonathan because she feels lesbiany. Sarah is super upset because daddy loaded all of his troubles on a barkeep and not the family. Jonathan's superpowers don't include a sixth sense of empathy. He's worried that he can't see through his curls. Mama recommends confiding in a friend to heal daddy's misconduct and her boyfriend's disinterest. How about the lesbian she was munching on all summer? Daughter is going to get over daddy cheating by cheating. LOL! Lois gets excused from everything. She lost her baby because men debilitated her not because she couldn't down solid foods. No one in the world deserves a free pass. It's either beautiful because we all chipped in or it's lousy because that's what happens when people chip in. 18-Mar-2022
Super. 16-Jun-2021
Lois sees a psychiatrist because she's allergic to meats, poultry, milk, eggs and bacon and she lives on a farm. The writers attempt to grab hearts with a refried miscarriage, making women swoon and men puke. Men don't cry over unfinished "things" or allow themselves to be defined by it for years. Puny woman. That's a dog's omelette. Fake Lex Luthor was a bust. How about a Martian Manhunter? Baby Supe is a ready-made Damien for "Omen: Oblivion." Prettier brother deserves better storylines before his hair falls out. If Superman is taller than everyone why does he only seem it in certain shots? Sometimes he teeters on his heels. 07-Jun-2021
My favorite part of the season is daddy breathing on son. 26-May-2021
I dipped in the CW DC waters before and I almost drowned. A loyalty to Superman waved me back. Tyler Hoechlin embodies the dutiful and conflicted alien come to earth to save the loathsome humans from themselves and to birth one or two with a lousy reporter. At least they're boys. Yay! Young boys get a storyline and maybe super powers! Awesome. We are not being ignored. I want to see all the deviant things we can come up with. Super orgasms would be a hilarious start. The sap is extra cum messing up our hair and it has the vibrations of a pusher but I liked the action and was happily surprised. I always wanted to see that. Superman is as boring as the person who recreates him. 25-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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30-Mar-2022


Bridgerton (2020-) WoofUpgradeHowl

Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Nostalgic, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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30-Mar-2022


Unsteady (Erich Lee Gravity Remix) - X AMBASSODORS 

Blood Ties

Tags: Animation, Drama, Music, Mystery, Reimagined, Reinterpreted, Relationships, Sex, Tribute, Video

Filed under: Music

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06-Mar-2022


Red Notice (2021) Woof

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Revenge, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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11-Jan-2022


Iiee - Tori Amos 

Metaphor

Wolf

Spectrum

Lyrics

Boy is man. Man is beast. Dancer is alien/creator. 18-Dec-2021

Tags: Action, Dancer, Horror, Mystery, Psychological, Reimagined, Respect, Re-tooled, SciFi, Video, Violence

Filed under: Music

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19-Dec-2021


Old (2021) Whimper

At no point do we believe we are anywhere but in a M Knight nightmare. Occurrences collide so speedily that we don't have time to absorb them. M Knight believes that getting old is life's worst irony but he doesn't explore why. His fear limited him. Women return to screaming, black men are fast-food, disheveled beauty hurts, Bernal's legs are perfect and children fuck. I didn't understand it and didn't want to. It's a free blowjob in a foreign country with too many rules to find release. 14-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Mystery, Timid, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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14-Dec-2021


 

Tags: Art, Asian, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Jock, Massle, Muscle, Mystery, Superheroes, Tats, Tribute, Weird

Filed under: Photos_(NSFW)

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12-Dec-2021


Legend Of Lizzie Borden, The (1975) Woof

A document of what may have occurred in a family downed by a favorite daughter. The film has a "Carrie" vibe that suits it. It mixes courtroom drama with home hysterics. Elizabeth Montgomery was all witch with only a hint of Samantha. The film was moderate with details and motives. You get the idea but not the full package. Elizabeth kept the film rolling with gestures suggesting things that weren't written and being an unappreciated force. Katherine Helmond was a sister witch with serene class. Fritz Weaver was a super-daddy warlock. I don't understand why his wife looked like a maid. The movie needs a clean-up, the performances don't. 06-Dec-2021

Tags: 1970s, Creepy, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Good Acting, Music Rocks, Mystery, Psychological, Sex, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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06-Dec-2021


Lost In Space (2018-) Woof

S3. All grown up and still dazzling us. 03-Dec-2021
Season 2 served so much syrup it almost drowned the pancakes. The Robinsons' catastrophe meter wriggled so much I wondered why they're not in pieces. Am I supposed to notice that the robot has a big ass? The action rumbles, throttles and shakes you down. Big-screen treatment for a TV mindset. Dr. Smith is a hoot bitchier, the actors are scratching their posts and I'm still in. 05-Jan-2020
Even though the orangutan inspired robot invalidates its predecessor the show succeeded in modern interpretation. There's papi squish, mama force, baby hutzpah and multicultural opportunity. Constructive sci-fi action and Parker Posey's iteration of Dr. Smith as the ultimate lying bitch are its standouts. 29-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Repetitive, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twinkie, Unity, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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03-Dec-2021




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