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All Posts Tagged as 'Mystery'

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Pale Blue Eye, The (2022) Woof

Christian Bale plays his detective with self-control and whispers. The man is unnervingly entertaining. The film takes you to a place you don't want to be but since you're there, why not try it? It hooks its audience immediately. Edgar Allan Poe becoming his deputy, figuring clues and outsmarting the other, was fun. I almost expected young Sherlock to show up with his dancing pastries. I thought Lady Gillian was one of those pastries. You couldn't get enough of her. The investigation is the whole of the film and the soul is the end. 12-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cold, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Fun, Good Acting, Mystery, Psychological, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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12-Jan-2023


Tag A-Long, The (2015) Arf

The child looks like a foreign creep from the same world. It establishes the dread and the style. Grandma, grandson and girlfriend have an established relationship that is misunderstood and unrecognized by all parties until cflimate change happens. For every tree that gets knocked down, a human is tasked to replenish it. I liked the drama and the characters but scares didn't pound with sense. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director Movement, Drama, Foreign, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Suspense, Sweet, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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02-Jan-2023


White Lotus, The (2021) HowlUpgrade

I didn't know Coolidge had more acting tricks up her sleeve. The lady was hiding a cowgirl and the funniest stunt woman, ever. The jump was everything. Will Sharpe expressed himself beautifully and he showed some thigh. Aubrey Plaza remained steady and to the back. Fahey and James remained fake versions of themselves and didn't express anything besides animal instinct. It was shocking, on point and masterclass. 12-Dec-2022
My favorite Wednesday Addams, of all time, is Aubrey Plaza. She became a bitch when her mother, Morticia, started boiling everything and aunt Lester lost her hair. Theo James is a fuck kill. Coolidge is being treated like a goddess by the gays and I hope she lets them have it. Hale Lu Richardson is Florence Pugh's Eve. Will Sharpe has to explain himself or show more thigh. Fahey is a rain of artificial sunlight. Michael Imperioli and F. Murray Abraham play a perfect father and son team that identify but don't accept that one begat the other. They fear their beautiful youngling will inherit their sad fate. The bigger you lie, the better the marriage but by then, the soul is gone. Female sexual harassment in the workplace, men expressing the difficulty in containing themselves, the sexes exploiting that, intelligent words coming out of fine actors and a director that provides the vision he describes. 30-Nov-2022
Mike White delivers an itchy script full of descriptive characters and awkward situations. The luscious atmosphere is reduced by human mania and overcompensation. Jennifer Coolidge cracked my funny bone, tore my heart and was masterclass as a woman acquiring power by being weak. Murray Bartlett played an outrageous gay asshole with ridiculous tendencies. Jake Lacy was pure alpha as a newlywed lord ruling over his petty wife. Molly Shannon whipped up a venomous mother-in-law from hell. Steven Zahn and John Gries gripped man sensibilities. Connie Britton and Alexandra Daddario convinced me. Natasha Rothwell spilled her heart and Jolene Purdy split my stitches. The teens were beautifully vacant, troubled, witty and intoxicating, just like vacations. 19-Aug-2021

Tags: 2020s, Beautiful, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, Music Rocks, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

Filed under: TV

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12-Dec-2022


Carol Of The Bells - Epic Music Version 

La Noria

Recreating the best Christmas dad gave him. 22-Nov-2019

Tags: Animation, Celebration, Dedication, Fantasy, Holiday, Music, Mystery, Portrait, Reinterpreted, Relationships, Respect, Re-tooled, Tribute

Filed under: Music

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03-Dec-2022


Wonder, The (2022) Woof

A child fasts to appease god and clear her family of their sins. Faith, in the hands of a child, can be a destructive thing. Pugh remains on, for the duration, as an investigative nurse that wants to clear the bullshit. The director keeps us trapped and enrapt. You can only fight a fable by trading it for another. Well done. 17-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Inspired, Music Swings, Mystery, Psychological, Sentimental, Suspense, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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17-Nov-2022


Chalk Line, The (Jaula/The Cage) (2022) Arf

I would have preferred The Cage to the Chalk Line because the english title sounds like a gimmick used to limit production costs. The director accommodated the mood, the actors stood in place but its details provided little depth. I know the what but not the why. The script was written on a typewriter/tik tok adding machine with limited credit. 29-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Foreign: Spanish, Horror, Music Swings, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Slow, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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29-Oct-2022


Last Woman On Earth, The (1960) Woof

While on a scuba diving expedition in Puerto Rico a newly married couple and their lawyer end up the last humans on earth when they resurface. They survive and explain the cause through the progression of the environment and by applying science to their observations. Words were in tune with how a woman might feel being the last one. The men went caveman because the lawyer has needs and his boss' wife was the only relief. I kept feeling the script would have had more depth had it not been costly. Wife is a newlywed who lusts to spend more time with her gangster husband. Lawyer is a do-gooder schmuck whose tired of being manipulated by sore losers. Every time the story filled in a hole the director cut away to something exotic. They hardly pondered whether, as last adults, they were worthy enough to replenish the earth. Wife's legs dangling from atop the boat, the men fish-slapping each other, the atmosphere (Puerto Ricans in 1960), the woman's hair turning from blonde to black and jitter acting that enunciates realness, were shots I will remember.

Remake. (Pssst: I would have given her my sperm and fucked daddy. Yeah, let her decide the future of the world.) 25-Oct-2022

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Inspired, Music Swings, Mystery, SciFi, Sentimental, Subtle, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: Movies

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25-Oct-2022


A Doll's House (1973) Howl

A woman moving in with a man must turn the home into a dollhouse in order to make her feel like she owns it. She owns him as much as he thinks he owns her, but a toy is the only home she will ever get to own. The cast played it without pity, the story excelled as it moved, even though status has changed, emotions remain the same and Jane Fonda flexed some beautiful muscles. Freedom comes after you stop lying to yourself. A real Christmas story. 17-Oct-2022

Tags: 1970s, Chemistry, Classic, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Inspired, Music Swings, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

Filed under: Movies

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17-Oct-2022


Superman & Lois (2021-) WoofDowngrade

I smell a Lana & Lois season. They already found a way to have daddy Supe lapse into comas. Lana banned all Kent men from her lesbian daughter and herself. They are toxic. She would have banned her ex-husband too but he needs to pay her rent. Sometimes daddy Supe appears to be the same height as Lana. 10-Jun-2022
Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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10-Jun-2022


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The reunion was all about Lascelles' back fat troubles and man socks. Loving it! 29-May-2022
Daddy host kept rocking those skinny jeans. Yeehaw, cousin. Lascelle's back fat did not leave alone. Bizarro Lance Bass is dating an asian meatball. The guy with the hair is nothing but a hairball. His girlfriend thinks she's Diane Keaton in an award winning drama about failed relationships and killing lobsters. 28-May-2022
Lascelles' back fat jutted out of his giant torso and it was spectacular. The tip of his well crafted ass sparked memories of cracked wishbones. It was a lighter shade of his skin color. It was so wonderfully squishy. I imagined his ass sparkling in the dark. Beautiful contrast. Kittykats came to nip at homeboy but he became enraged. He only has eyes for hostile women. Two men got to see their future exes get it on with Hollywood sex workers. Mark Wahlberg attempted to bring skinny jeans back. Please let him. Girls have extensions, men need to parade what make gays swoon. It's joyful. Brains don't count. It was a black thing wasn't it. You didn't want to see it constantly. Thank God for latin TV, they are always five years behind. Back to the horny women. They were both riotous but only one moaned for more and then more. Was the fucker at his limit or was she granting him the permission to add two more inches every 20 seconds? Either way. Yikes!! 14-Apr-2022
Daddy's teeth don't work in a bonfire setting either. Okay. Some of those idiot things are melting my loins. Ack! 13-Apr-2022
Open marriages exist when one partner grows weary of the other's sex. You think? 31-Mar-2022
Mark Walberg's teeth are so white that he clashes with the sun. If you can't trust a man because he texts other girls you are Sherlock Holmes not paranoid. Fuck you, therapists! None of the boys are worth fealty. They're ack! There is some pretty ones on the Hollywood hooker side of the group but the caliber of men is very "Oscar," not deserving this year. A beast brother is rocking blue eyes and Cindy Brady curls. Ack. A guy from the Bronx is auditioning for West Side Story 2. Double ack. One of the tempted males is rocking doggy style long hair. You know, the haircut that separates the weave from your hair by curling at a non realistic point like all the females are wearing. Ghastly. 18-Mar-2022

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

Filed under: TV

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29-May-2022


Insiders (2021) Arf

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Pitchy, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Twisty, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, World, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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24-May-2022


Ozark (2017-2022) HowlDowngradeWoof

Oh no! I'm fucked! 10-May-2022
I got it as soon as my sister uttered the words. "They got used to it." 08-May-2022
Wendy Byrde burst out. A mother of common sense, female liberation and purpose. A woman fighting against her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. 08-May-2022
Only an asshole named Marty Byrde or Jason Bateman can ruin Rhoda Mogenstern's career. 08-May-2022
James Cameron didn't bother because a lake is not an ocean. 08-May-2022
DePalma would have lovingly dumped them. 08-May-2022
Hitchcock would have killed them. 08-May-2022
Spielberg would have pulled their hearts out. 08-May-2022
Nolan would have ended smiles and piled up the exposition. 08-May-2022
Tarantino would have ended it with a Batdance. 08-May-2022
Larry David would have killed them all and laughed. 08-May-2022
The resolution to "out of nothingness" is to become rich. Superiority is applied when survival is imminent. Destruction of non-family matters are predetermined. Pretend as we may, the biggest construct our parents ever created is us. 08-May-2022
S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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10-May-2022


Parallel Mothers (2021) Arf

When Almodovar embraces Hitchcockian ambience it is sublime but when he attempts a Spielbergian signature it deprives the film of a punch. Two mothers, both strangers share a common thread that conflicts with their lives. Even though the outcome is easy to determine, the presentation is a shivering buildup. Penelope Cruz maintains her hold until Almodovar gives up. Her mother doesn't crumble as the film's psychology implies. She wraps it up without a challenge. The ending is part Schindler's List and part Indiana Jones/Jurassic Park. I welcome a latin Spielberg inspiration with cheeky heroes and dinosaurs but I can't forgive a spanish mother that doesn't wreck. A spanish mother is the T-Rex of emotion. 23-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign: Spanish, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Music Swings, Mystery, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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23-Apr-2022


Kindred (2020) Whimper

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Inactivity, Mystery, Psychological, Quiet, Slow, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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20-Apr-2022


Batman, The (2022) Arf

The Batman is the only character that suits up. How lonely for him. He's always the freak. The support enact realistic iterations of characters that lit up Batman's mythology to absolutely no effect. The Riddler is a demented teen who was brought up by an unfunny father who worked the mines. The riddles were blah. There is no Riddler without a tight body suit, a tight body and demented cynicism. Daddy Farrell wasted a lot of time in makeup, creating art out of a role that doesn't belong. He is not penguin. I didn't see any top hats, monocles or bullet umbrellas. Michelle Pfeiffer's reign as the best film Catwoman cannot be extinguished. Zoe is an everyday gorgeous girl not a cat. Her cowl is just as cheap and unintelligible as I expected. Her lack of meow hurts. Commissioner Gordon was a lackey. Everything was eeeeewww and he was always waiting for Batman to finish things up for him. Daddy Turturro knew exactly what the director wanted and gave it to us. Alfred and Bruce's interaction was rude. The parental bond was cold. Why hire an Aunt Harriet if she's not going to be an Aunt Harriet? That might have been fun. Oops. Sorry. Fun not allowed. The Twins were cute. Robert Pattinson is the glue you want to stick to because he makes you ponder how his beautifully broken humanity can create life from something he hates. I saw love in Zoe's face when she looked at him. I saw panty dropping aloofness register from his. Batman's narration doesn't mesh with toxic revenge. The moments he celebrated were my cringe. This isn't Batman. He doesn't laud himself or others. He's a lonely motherfucker that hates the world because he lost mommy and daddy to crime and got stuck in a mansion with a pervy butler. Batman's detective work failed from a lack of gadget magic. Yeah! Rich angry fucks love gadgets. Matt Reeves strikes potent pictures but was entrapped by a franchise that is petrified of its origins. The man/woman who gives us comic book Batman with realistic choices will become King of The World. What's the point of hiding in the shadows if everyone can hear you? 18-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Cliche, Comic Book, Director Movement, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Sentimental, Star Watt, Thriller, Too Long, TV-like, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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18-Apr-2022




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