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Below Deck (2013-) Howl

Captain Howdy

Eye rolling is what gets black people fired. 11-Jan-2022
Jaws continued onboard to be negated timely food dosages and to receive catty snares from her own charter. Nobody appreciated that she was wired shut to get rid of the ugly fat that turns off prospective husbands. Heather Stew apologized to Rayna Rage for using the n-word that is so popular amongst black people. Rayna accepted the apology only to rage later on. She also pondered why white people stereotyped black people after five rages. Stewie pretended gays aren't devious whores by acting like one. Rayna Rage blew up her love triangle by inviting Stewie to watch her fuck Deck Robin Hood. Deck Robin Hood has an intoxicating fish baby smell. Rayna Rage's pussy beat one tiny white boy dick to the fishbone. The crew left the boat so Captain Daddy could get blown privately. Deck Precious got spooked by a spider, landed on my lap and proved all things are possible. Mooooah! 04-Jan-2022
It was a Jaw Charter. What Reagan did to Nancy to stop her from accidentally sucking spy dick. That's why she was so thin. It was a charter with no sense. Lockjaw was treated like every child with a handicap. Last. Captain Daddy pretended to be mad at Deck Precious when he stood up for his lazy blackx crew. Stew Poppins booked when she realized she was normal. Nobody cares why you have lockjaw (wink, wink, men) we just care to watch you choke. 20-Dec-2021
An incest charter made it onboard. Daughter saw daddy's massive dick and thought that exposing her boobs constantly would up her inheritance. Men of other species do not flirt with blackx females unless they're ready to TNT their hole. She will fuck you up, otherwise. I know this for a fact. Nothing is a joke to Rayna Rage. She hurt uncle Eddie. I'm surprised she made it ashore with the lost footage intact. The only thing that would stop Stewie from meddling in an employee's mental heath business, is a big dick in his mouth. Can somebody please get Chef Loops drunk? I can eat her food at McDonalds. Get loops, bitch! Did Captain Daddy add fruit to his breakfast rocks? 13-Dec-2021
A tit charter was so infectious that it reminded Captain Daddy how much he likes Chef Loops' food. Chemistry. Eddie was so upset by his crew's performance that he beat them with rubber toys. A second blackx has been accused of being slow by a professional. Depressed people shouldn't be allowed to work on sexy boats. Stewie is still trying to stir trouble. Stew Heather doesn't know that no-nonsense tyranny equates employment withdrawal. No bountiful cheeks were served with dinner. Next week, Robin Hood. Please. 07-Dec-2021
Richie Rich threw it in every poor boy's face that money rocks. The succubus complained that Captain Daddy and her husband paid more attention to their lobsters than her. Deck Not Bridgerton is so deprived of love that he confused depressive stew whines as romantic. Stewie wasted his time obsessing over and judging the depressive one. The deck crew kept depositing plastic into the water. Heather Stew ran out of tongs. Celebrating the 80's is a way of reminding old people they sucked. Deck Robin Hood proved his masculinity by flirting with unavailable females, getting naked, tonguing Stewie and making Eddie sexually frustrated. Soft little pillows waiting for comfort. Eddie was saved from switching teams when his hair caught on fire. Sigh. Does this mean his children will be bald? Rayna Rage delighted at seeing soft little pillows prove himself a drunken sexual liar. Bitch recorded it. 30-Nov-2021
Stewie became the poster boy for gay marriage by declaring that all children are gross. Someone needs to assure Eddie that some gay fucks are like vaccines. Bridgerton not. We bow to Rayna of controlled rage. All the pretty birds flocked to deck Robin Hood. One of Richie Rich's succubus "fake followed" Captain Daddy to his quarters. She came with dinner. Fucking slit. 23-Nov-2021
S9E4. A pig charter were doing a bang-up job humiliating themselves with liquor and inconsequential shit until Captain Daddy told them to cut it out. They needed parental discipline. Go figure. Rayna made out with Deck Robin Hood. Deck Robin got promoted. Rayna did not like it when he insinuated she shut her mouth and do better work. It made Rayna Rage hop out of the closet. Stewie must have smelt available dick onboard because he stepped up. Rayna made out with Stewie and Robin to prove a future point. "He's gay. I knew it!" 19-Nov-2021
S9E1. The crew does everything to fuck up a charter of black female Republicans. Captain Howdy fills in for Captain Daddy. Chef Loops is still serving nonsense along with great food. Second Stew Stewie sucked at his job and accused the Republicans of threatening him with violence. The boys invented a "Hoe" song to honor Lady Deck. Heather Stew "cunt be bothered" serving the rich's every whim. Deck Bridgerton needs to keep quiet and take his shirt off. Rayna needs to do the dishes and not complain. Eddie squishes mightiest when he's pining for daddy. 17-Nov-2021

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

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11-Jan-2022


Joe Millionaire: For Richer Or Poorer (2022-) Woof

It took two bachelors to add up to one Joe Millionaire. The original's historical "slurp around the world" was magnificence. My pecker picked the poor one until I got to know him then I switched. Tarzan hair is fun but he's such a pendejo. He has no sexual entitlement. Cowboy Cheeky is fuckable in a Chucky kind of way. He has a bubbly ass. In my day, they would have called the contestants, escapees from mental institutions. A desperate "housewife to be" decides to wear the same dress as another contestant. Neither chose to "rock" the shitty dress and left it up to the millionaire to decide which tacky slut filled it the least. It depends how gay the men are. Black girl gets drunk and starts feeling used. She goes on a rant. White girls are not having it so they plot. Mothers of America. Shame on You! You've turned your daughters into dumb sluts competing for basic. Original Joe hands. Classic. 10-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comfort Food, Cowboy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fake, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Reality, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tough

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10-Jan-2022


Hype House (2021-) Arf

A bunch of "could haves" combine business interests with personal relationships. The scheme collapses as soon as a "could have" becomes an "almost." The group may be responsible for creating a Beyonce but Beyonce owes them nothing. The commonality is that all the victims have been emotionally denied by someone important. The babies get lots of attention and money for doing very little. They are the future prostitute. Head twink is going ballistic because his partner is becoming famous and he's looking older. Connive he must. A bowl of white pretty boys, a plate of girls swooning and mouthfuls of queer things exaggerating everything, are the shared focus. Gay bleached boy calls out trans bestie for acting black on social media even though he's black and acts Puerto Rican. His gay friends are white who act black and can't be bothered with full drag. The trans pays to make her fantasies come true but is the loneliest. She can't afford to be real. The babies live in fear of cancellation. The pretty white twinks rule the roost with confidence and the thought that they will eventually get cooked, burnt and flamed out. No success in the world can replace the scars their families placed on them. It's the kids turn to tell parents how they're doing. "Yo, they fucked up and we're going to tell the whole world." If they're not happy now, they never will be. These are the great grandparents of the people Adam Mckay wants to save. Ha! 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Cliche, Corn, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Reality, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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08-Jan-2022


Maude (1972-1978) Full Moon

S1 & 2. Maude was the perfect feminist. She wasn't afraid to let a man speak. Weighed the options. Argued it and resolved it like a scientific adult. Maude didn't need to win every argument. It wasn't necessary. The point of an argument is to be heard. She recognized a man's shortcomings and was willing to stroke it for peace. Bea Arthur was a force of wit, sarcasm, genius understanding and distribution. Adrienne Barbeau put the lib in life and the fighter in mother whilst shaking her gorgeous bon bons. She was a thespian. Conrad Bain understood why doctors are supposed to be stupid and funny. Rue McClanahan was giggly and neurotic before she became a slut. Bill Macy was the perfect foil because he was married to the perfect feminist and he had something to shout about. Forida (Esther Rolle) was so intoxicating that she blows away in season two to be upstaged by a stupid clown. Women are fighting to be equal to men they can't stand. It fits our time zone and it scratches my funny bone. I hope that when Betty made it to heaven that Bea was standing there to congratulate her. ("Kindness nullifies bitch, every single time.") 06-Jan-2022

Tags: 1970s, Best In Comedy, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Director Art, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Greatness, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Magic, Magnetism, Music Rocks, Sentimental, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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06-Jan-2022


Book Of Boba¬†Fett, The (2021-) Bites

S1E2. It knocked me out right after the credits. It's a higher dosage of a GOT sleeping pill. 06-Jan-2022
S1E1. It incurs GOT type boredom. 30-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Comic Book, Fatigue, Vague

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06-Jan-2022


Hawkeye (2021-) ArfDowngrade

S1E6. The land of absolute magic couldn't accomplish turning a brilliant D'Onofrio into the behemoth that he deserves to be. How much ass kicking and arrow shooting can we take? It was a lost moment to be brilliant and make a childhood comic-book fantasy come to life. 03-Jan-2022
S1E5. Jeremy Renner plays "that little bitch" in his own series. The female "kickass" trope is extremely tired and damaging, to all sexes. Bad Russian speak has returned and I'm starting not to give a fuck. The MCU has created a complicated mythological puzzle that future audiences won't tolerate because they didn't live through it and will be too stupid to piece together. 01-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Pitchy, Political, Preposterous, Showy, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Tired

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03-Jan-2022


Twentysomethings: Austin (2021-) Arf

Natalie's boytoy grabbed and ghosted. I knew he was an asshole when she asked him for a selfie and he gave her side face so no one could recognize him. He disrespected her when he arrived late to the party, fast grabbed, slept and ran. She wondered why she got ghosted. Dearest, he ghosted you because you couldn't wait. She has to stay in Austin because when her papi watches her boning footage he's going to explode. Kamari slapped Raquel's ass so hard that she opened her doors for him. Doorman! 29-Dec-2021
S1E8. Natalie blamed Abbey for stealing the man she was "interested" in. The golden surfer was going to pick Abbey or Oscar (the "make believe" boyfriend of Keano.) A person cannot make themselves anyone's first choice if the pecker isn't even pointing at them. Oscar wanted some camera time and to see if any of the cis men would get it on with him. He got a free COVID test. Abbey is a destructive beauty whose ice caps are melting at an exponential rate. I miss the pretty boy. He was endearingly sad. 28-Dec-2021
S1E7. Pretty super jock gave up on his roommates because they couldn't ease his sexual discomfort. Isha realized that the path to success has to include an American pendejo willing to part with his money. Austin may be open to sexuality but not to other cultures. Kamari came to fuck anything and everything. Raquel is a "doorman" and a lousy friend. Abbey needs medicine. Keano needs a million dollars to survive gay world. 28-Dec-2021
S1E4. Something to watch when your brain cells need a rest. The younglings appear to have strong familial support but have minimal life skills. It's a house full of Red Riding Hoods. No wolves, grandmas or conflict. 25-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Dating, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Reality, Relationships, Words Spoke

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29-Dec-2021


Witcher, The (2019-) Woof

Daddy dropped the hush a notch and it was sexy. A daddypalooza overwrote the overwrought female wokeness. The RPG come to life was fun. The mythology became a scientific equation instead of a scientific marvel. Can we find another solution to good girl being possessed by evil besides giving her a conscious? Bummer. Istredd. Boom! Dijkstra. Yes! Joey Batey. Lick, yeah! Neneke. Your highness. Daddy Supe speaks for itself. The females need more realism and the mythology needs better surprises. 27-Dec-2021
Daddy is something else but it was the ladies that kept me glued. 18-Jan-2020
Of course, I'm disquieted by the froggish whisper of the Witcher but he delivers comitted action moves and steady alpha charisma. Interspersed characterization maintains the show's freshness. (Is it part of its mythology that all pretty twinks get killed?) 15-Jan-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Action, Brutal, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Magnetism, Squish Alert, Star Power, Star Watt, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

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27-Dec-2021


These Old Broads (2001) Arf

It was a spectacular low-budget showcase with a supreme cast and some artistic expression. The legends reminded us how they became, how time forgives and that they can still entertain. Fisher added pepper to her words. Sometimes, overly, with a sting. She made a legend apologize to her parental legend for being a treacherous whore bestie who stole their daddy. Elizabeth did it and it was a beautiful moment. Deep, full and roomy describe "broad." The film's walls were made out of gingerbread though and the icing kept sliding. The com got sticky. I didn't care. I loved hearing legends call each other whores. It made me feel human. 20-Dec-2021

Tags: 2000s, Adorable, Camp, Celebrity, Chemistry, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Magnetism, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Touching, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tough, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-Dec-2021


Succession (2018-) HowlUpgrade

S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles it out with Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women can sew their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is A game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cockiness. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts, instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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20-Dec-2021


Love Never Lies (2021-) Woof

S1E7. Tall pretty stick accused the game of being rigged when the technology caught him lying. Hostess Divine pulled out a bullwhip and turned his stallion cock into a puppy's. You don't fuck with mama or Netflix shows. You cheating asshole. Most everyone pretended it was a vacation where lying and misconduct gets forgotten. Love exists because we need it to, not because it is. 14-Dec-2021
S1E6. Unmasking love is seeing a most ugly bitch. 13-Dec-2021
S1E2. These fuckers are serious. They bank money when they tell the truth. Amounts are deducted for lies. The game has separated the partners into two groups. Villa Panic Attack gets to watch their mates finagle temptation in Whore Villa. To keep the alone group in a state of anxiety our divine hostess shows them a video of their partner intermingling with exes, stalkers and professionals. After gaining their interest she seduces them into watching a prime video that contains the nasty stuff. But, it will cost them. The gays are sad. The heeled one is living a fantasy with a man who doesn't care. His partner tried itemizing the men he sexually stalked online but he couldn't count that high. He was giddy from the twink they hired to give him hope. The alone partner gets to watch the videos with their housemates. Reactions are perceptive. They call out the bullshit, cry over confessions, make cute funny, rally around the broken hearted and rage at the whores. 03-Dec-2021
S1E1. Lying whores compete to tell the truth, stop fucking and prove to their partners they are worthy. Mental breakdowns in paradise. A tall pretty stick gave his partner a panic attack by lying three times after one question, the gays always lie when confronted with the truth, a boyfriend fessed to not getting aroused by his girlfriend's paraglider fashion and the hostess is creepily divine. I'm in. 02-Dec-2021

Tags: Daddy Squish, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Sex, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny

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14-Dec-2021


Will & Grace (1998-2006) Full Moon

S1E3. The gay bestie is the only man that gets pretend husband right. Jack was the clown stereotype that exploded. Karen hadn't evolve but she was super bitchy. Grace and Will's beautiful relationship ends when the other sucks the other's partner off on a whim, just like in real life. 10-Dec-2021

Tags: 1990s, 2000s, Amiable, Art, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Magic, Magnetism, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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10-Dec-2021


Facts Of Life/Different Strokes Live (2021) Woof

No one studied character like Ann Dowd but everyone did their part to make it fun. 10-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Celebrity, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Crapfun, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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10-Dec-2021


Coming Out Colton (2021-) WhimperUpgradeArf

The doc is about a lost boy who discovered his sexuality and needs to establish his purpose. His rock of friends are keeping him planted in religion and suburban magic. The gays just want to have sex. All the time. Every fucking minute of their lives. Colton is an alpha looking for daddy hugs. Daddies like babies. The classic gays add to the confusion. No one tells this young man the truth. Successful relationships don't occur that often, the more you fuck the better you are until that's all you have to offer and we will continue to have uncomfortable conversations about our love for dick, forever. Colton's attention span is limited. He appears as if the person recounting their history is speaking a different language and maybe they are. He doesn't fit anywhere and that's ok. Gus Kenworthy could not contain himself and flirted with Colton's hot dad. That was a real gay moment. 09-Dec-2021
Boy, does he ever. Colton blames the lack of good character on being a bottled gay. The series portrays coming out as a self-involved beauty pageant. I told my mother and she told the rest. Done. That's how latinos do it. I also told her over the phone so she wouldn't hit me. The family is cold. Relationships are strained. He has support because they need to continue riding the success wave in order to survive. Coming out is not the real story. Staying "in" is. 03-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, Hot Swatch, Out of Place, Political, Reality, Relationships, Tacky, Weird, Writ Basic

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09-Dec-2021


Legend Of Lizzie Borden, The (1975) Woof

A document of what may have occurred in a family downed by a favorite daughter. The film has a "Carrie" vibe that suits it. It mixes courtroom drama with home hysterics. Elizabeth Montgomery was all witch with only a hint of Samantha. The film was moderate with details and motives. You get the idea but not the full package. Elizabeth kept the film rolling with gestures suggesting things that weren't written and being an unappreciated force. Katherine Helmond was a sister witch with serene class. Fritz Weaver was a super-daddy warlock. I don't understand why his wife looked like a maid. The movie needs a clean-up; the performances don't. 06-Dec-2021

Tags: 1970s, Creepy, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Good Acting, Music Rocks, Mystery, Psychological, Sex, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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06-Dec-2021




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