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Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) 
The charter was a surgically enhanced female empowerment group. The type whose procedures make them look twenty years older because only old ladies need them. Why did it become serious when one charter member big splashed? Were they expecting a big sprinkle? One of the non-second stews left a fat sock in Captain's pant crotch. Did Chef Dos Latinos serve dessert with a little spoon because the Captain was dining with the charter or because he knew I would notice it? The Captain should have shown up for dinner in a jockstrap because all the women could talk about was Gary, Gary, Gary. Captain served the ladies macaroni crotch for breakfast but none of the women looked down. I would have stood on the table. The raped one was deliriously content making out with a non-second steward, giving fuck you stares to the rapist and riling up Ms. Long Ago. A man handles rape a little different. I'm not sure about this but I think a non-second stew stuck a similar sock in Gary's pants. 24-May-2022
Lord Salmon Decker has sexual amnesia. The sex was either very horrible or it felt illegal. Either way, amnesia is the best way out of the situation. Ashley couldn't keep her mouth shut and confessed every detail of the rape on video and audio on a loop. Yo, stop. I'm sure there's help waiting for her when they dock. They're wearing crew whites without any stripes. They will find her. Gary is the hero for fighting rape by not giving it the two cents it doesn't deserve. It's just another lousy fuck. It's not like shee reeped hiz ash to shereddss!!! 17-May-2022
If you unexpectedly slide it into Gary, he'll only notice a change in temperature. Chef Dos Latinos was perplexed by boobs so he made great food. Gary thinks that a male to female deck can do better than a female to female hand. Ashley thinks she should be promoted for raping a man and getting rid of Encanto. 11-May-2022
Gary got raped by a baby stew. The stew was giving the beautiful intoxication a massage when he fell asleep. He rolled over with a hard-on and she sat on it. Rape! Male whores sometimes get their rapes and hook-ups mixed up especially when they can't remember them. Double rape! HE DID NOT CONSENT! HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS! He'll feel the pain once he's 55+ and has a compulsive desire to sue her. Gabriela did everyone a favor by booking her mental illness out of there. I know Chef Dos Latinos was tired of that Encanto bitch. Daisy's woman in charge consists of granting her crew the power to let her fuck with their heads. Is that why Gabby left? Nope, it was Gary's fault. Cuddling with a salmon mermaid that's going to fuck you over is a mental no no. Colin and Gabby watching Gary snog with baby's breath made his ass clench and her mind/vagina explode. Did the captain remove a peanut butter cup from its wrapper and replace it with a dollop of peanut butter? That is so cat. I think I understand captain's giant cracker fetish. He doesn't want to shit the boat when he tilts it. 19-Apr-2022
Younglings disabled on an island made to specifically serve two people. They are climate changers choosing nature over life. Death shall come to all except the ones who fight it. The mythology is not sensible or sustainable. The island surveils people without audio. The audio is everything. So poor. The boys are pretty in every sense and the girls are protein shakes. The relationships usurped all the interest that kept us glued to the nonsense. 19-May-2022
It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022
Donna Reed Show, The (1958-1966) 
S2E26. Donna overhears her gorgeous husband grazing the last great eligible bachelor's marriage announcement. The men think he's fucked, the wives can't understand why. Donna becomes so enraged that she reads a book about male toxicity. Doctor becomes bored because his idol dick has shrunk with alopecia. Donna's imagination has daddy doc fucking all sorts of french maidens. That was the realistic part. 11-May-2022
S2E4. A bully is identified by his nurture. No one is as gentle and well mannered as the Stone boy. The gorgeous doctor and Donna are flabbergasted that their scathing, disruptive asshole of a son is considered praise worthy by the town parents when karma should have fucked him up a long time ago. Jeff's misconduct excuse is self defense. His friends, on the other hand, do it on purpose and are evil monsters. Jeff is a lucky good boy because he is allowed to walk all over his parents. Jeff behaves at other parent's houses because he is deathly afraid of them. You only shit where you live. There is a monster child in the perfect town mix and Donna needs to reform it. He's making her boy look bad. How can a parent tactfully tell a mother she sucks? Donna knows! Invite her over and pie her by showing her how it really works whilst insinuating that she's an abusive cunt. 03-May-2022
S2E3. Donna is bullied into buying an expensive dress for a town wedding. No husband wants to be bamboozled into a buying his wife a new dress when Donna, the epitome of wifedom, has worn the same red dress on seven occasions and manages to look fresh and youthful every time. The wives think Donna needs an expensive makeover and a new dress of their own. Donna would rather spend the extra money on her children. She only sucks one part of daddy dry. Women dress for each other. Fashion exploits the expensive non-sex boredom that lays dormant in a progressive couple. Bitch Donna returns to turn modern cunts to stone. 02-May-2022
S2E1. Mary encourages a special needs boy to audition for a dancing showcase she is participating in. Daddy doctor suggests special needs kids are pretending to be abnormal to gain attention. Mary is excited to support the embarrassment until he is assigned as her dance partner in the show. She panics. She can't be seen dancing with a short and chubby wreck. What will the town think? That she's not a hypocrite, maybe. Donna is not feeling right that a boy is being made to believe that he is something he isn't because he's fat, short and stupid. Heels are in, girdles are out. 01-May-2022
S1E16. Daughter Mary is running for vice-president of her class. Her campaign manager is a pushy lesbian that wants to win, not share opinions. The only reason Mary was chosen to compete was her looks, the boys, some of the girls and her agreeableness. Nobody expected her to fix anything. Mama doesn't enjoy seeing her daughter transform into a made-up sex bomb to win a seat she is not qualified for. The lesbian knows Mary is a poor choice but doesn't want the other girl to win because she's blah. They were voting her out for being too studied and repellant. Mama unleashes by rubber hosing the lesbian. 29-Apr-2022
S1E25. "Donna is so sweet" becomes the town refrain. Donna becomes a bitch to stop being victimized by modernity. Everyone takes advantage because she keeps picking up their slack. The more a woman liberates herself the less people will do for her. Bitchy Donna is played for laughs but the pudding is in the gesture. The only way to get anyone to do anything is to rage. The children cried for mercy, service got snippy, the husband didn't give a fuck because he was gorgeous and a doctor and he didn't want to have to listen to a thing she had to say. Things are getting done but nobody likes her. The episode acknowledged how cheesy it was by burning itself. 29-Apr-2022
Hey! That's me! 24-Apr-2022
Being the son of a gorgeous father, feminist mother and slutty sister makes him a dork. 24-Apr-2022
Being the daughter of a gorgeous doctor and a feminist mother automatically makes her a slut. 24-Apr-2022
S1E15. Marrying a gorgeous doctor automatically grants a woman feminist status. 24-Apr-2022
Papi Jackson accepted my offer and renamed his brand Waffle Man and I went to the supermarket and bought all of Aunt Jemima's syrup. Kat hates cats! How abominably delicious. Yeah! 11-May-2022
They need to stop exploiting cats and explore the biggest vagina on the gay planet. Dorks are out, whores are in. Cat ladies are delusional. 02-Apr-2022
You know what? Kat is growing on me. She hasn't released her Big Bang rigidity but busting out some Blossom on shrooms sort of moves would make the character a classic. Miranda couldn't give a fuck and neither should Kat. Good luck! 27-Mar-2021
Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021
Congratulations Kyle, you married a lizard. Daddy emcee was only drunk enough to drop an intern's child on their face. Kyle was done up pretty but he didn't move much for fear of smudging it. A girl outed Carl's ginormous penis. Girls, 7 inches is the size gay babies train on. There are bigger things out there. Andrea found a dummy to trade his dick in for a green card. Ciara doesn't need to apologize for violent acts because she is black and a white person enslaved her great, great, great, great grandparents in a galaxy far far away, a long long fucking time ago. Danielle became a racist after an enraged black woman attacked her. Alex thought his dick grew an inch when he insulted a man for his lack of look. Ha! 10-May-2022
Oh no! I'm fucked! 10-May-2022
I got it as soon as my sister uttered the words. "They got used to it." 08-May-2022
Wendy Byrde burst out. A mother of common sense, female liberation and purpose. A woman fighting against her vagina to bring herself to orgasm. 08-May-2022
Only an asshole named Marty Byrde or Jason Bateman can ruin Rhoda Mogenstern's career. 08-May-2022
James Cameron didn't bother because a lake is not an ocean. 08-May-2022
DePalma would have lovingly dumped them. 08-May-2022
Hitchcock would have killed them. 08-May-2022
Spielberg would have pulled their hearts out. 08-May-2022
Nolan would have ended smiles and piled up the exposition. 08-May-2022
Tarantino would have ended it with a Batdance. 08-May-2022
Larry David would have killed them all and laughed. 08-May-2022
The resolution to "out of nothingness" is to become rich. Superiority is applied when survival is imminent. Destruction of non-family matters are predetermined. Pretend as we may, the biggest construct our parents ever created is us. 08-May-2022
S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022
Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022
Papi would have made me happy doing Shakespeare in tights for all 6 episodes. He broke out of his shell and became a thespian. The imagination was resplendent, the actualization fulfilled its standards but the ending was looney. 07-May-2022
Egyptian gods and cumming every time papi speaks British. 24-Apr-2022
The second episode provided a thrill I thought it was incapable of. Papi Isaac is in my blood stream and I'm addicted to his drip. The story is an absorbing mythology that reads likes a good book. No one is showing off. It's funny and magical. Everyone is thinking. Two papi Isaacs is just one more sweet ass to squish. Anna Delvey needs to work herself into one of those mirrors. I'm digging it. 08-Apr-2022
All it proves is that papi Isaac can play Anna Delvey. 01-Apr-2022
Real Time with Bill Maher (2003-) 
Stop! I'm pushing my friend's head aside and finishing Bill Maher's dick myself. 07-May-2022
Fran Leibowitz condemns men who wear caps (alopecia), shorts (because exposing our dicks is not a legal option) and pajamas (a man must present like Hercules to conquer the sheets). The intelligent woman says it in a little bar mitzvah suit as she regales a new planet of men she encountered. The men are so real they fuck you in the streets. Daddy awakened to the joys of Disney and discovered relevant and funny material. The panel was all male of differing opinions, intellects and wit. I may not want to suck any of them off but I know people who will to keep stimulating their ideas. 30-Apr-2022
Screaming guest star was offended when guest woman called him "sir" but got tickled when daddy Maher said it. 11-Mar-2022
Thank you for eloquently voicing a lot of what I've thought in one episode. We don't need to agree on everything but none of us should have to fight the same enemy alone. 05-Mar-2018
Thanks for the adult, witty, thought-provoking, thought-smashing, sometimes awkward or infuriating and mostly funny conversations/arguments. I don't always agree but I know your heart's in the right place. Even cranky Bill is better than none or most. 01-Nov-2015
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
Hades arises from his tomb to test humanity's tolerance for truth. A woman can only fathom a dream if a gay man concocts it. Man losing his hardon for a cultural thing is a real thing. He's bald Jerry, is no longer sexually gratifying his ick. Brent is sweet to make you fat and incapable of moving when he cleans you out. Al Perkins always looks surprised to fuck. He's prettier than a boy bander and is successful in bed. That's not possible! What is his crime? A giant ear bit texan should not have to explain himself to a pretend Hillary. Maybe he hates you because you're not doing Asian right not because he hates your culture. Hades set our dicks on fire. 06-May-2022
Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020
The wedding. Kyle never looked lovelier. Andrea reminded the guests how much he needs a green card. Amanda's father was proud that his daughter chose a wide enough dress to store her husband's money. All the parents looked miserable. Lindsay fought the urge to buy a cat by asking Carl out. Carl kindly refused because he needed more time to feel shitty and sober. Carl named his giant hands "daddy." The only thing missing from Ciara's attitude was a belly button. 03-May-2022
Paige took me to a LOL brink by hosting a "tennis" inspired navy band slutwear fashion show. Where is a black person supposed to wear marching band navy slutwear to? She might dare wear it in the ghetto but she's not making it out alive to enjoy it. How presumptuous of Paige to think all black people know about tennis. Why, because two sisters once played it? Everybody's picking on Lindsay because she refuses to become a cat lady with regrets. She'll be forgetting about dick soon enough, let her savor some memories. She shouldn't be fucking so wildly after losing a child she never got to play with. WGAF. Lindsay should be able to change paths if she wants to. They all arrive to the same conclusion, death. Kyle has suffered enough male emasculation. He shook the table a little bit and everyone reacted like "the slap 2." Dude, Ciara poured wine and smashed glass on people! That was about something else. Really? Amanda's parents shoved their greedy asses into the prenup mess. In order for a feminist to succeed she needs her man's money. Her parents are scary. I'm surprised Kyle wasn't constantly farting through dinner. 19-Apr-2022
Yo! Lindsay got creamed for fucking multiple partners without being a parent. Ciara cannot forgive her for fucking her non-boyfriend. Bitch is lucky nobody made her clean up the broken glass. Raging with future alopecia is not helpful. Alex can only make one thing big and it's not his dick. Amanda does not want to sign a prenup that excludes her from fucking the nurse and taking all of Kyle's money. Andrea's huge dick can't guarantee him a green card. He needs to stop fake crying and fuck the shit out of Alex. Gays have power too and they clench real tight. 12-Apr-2022
Ciara took a page out of Will Smith's bio, broke glass and splashed red wine on her roommates. Some of them wore white! She was angry because her ex fucked the cat lady. Kyle did what the Oscars didn't dare and dragged her out. Karl realized that the road to happiness doesn't have to include his giant hands. He's going to have to use his dick too. Ken Doll asked for a prenup because he doesn't want his wife fucking the hot nurse and forgetting about his feeding tube. The only thing Andrea misses is not being a citizen of a country that accepts rampant sex. Paige's new boyfriend acts like a feeding tube. 05-Apr-2022
Reunion 2. The Hannah/Kyle dispute was tucked away. Kyle is the middle aged version of her fiancee and the man of her wet dreams. Carl's hands spoke and touched everyone. He did the giant thing and they swooned. Lindsay spoke like a man and got appreciation. Luke smashed Hannah's face in the jelly jar and brought down the fourth wall of reality TV. The host pretended minimally to scoop it up. "No. Really. It's not, we're not, I'm not, none of us are... fake. Really." 08-May-2021
Reunion. Hannah cried at every word rhyming with Luke and puked at every reference to Kyle. Kyle busted his rubber bands and walked out. Luke is still apologizing for being horny. Host did not offer Carl's giant hands their own seat or their own questions. 30-Apr-2021
I had a doll like Kyle once. He was blonde, four feet tall with rippling muscles, and a thong. He could pop rubber bands with his biceps. I had my seven foot black GI Joe fuck the shit out of him every day. My mother noticed the cum stains on Kyle and made him disappear. Something akin to how Hannah feels. She admired him in the toy store window when she was a tot but her mother wouldn't buy him for her. Shush, honey, that's only for boys. She can't get her hands on him. He's so disgustingly dominant for a little dick. I want him! No, I don't! Luke what? If I were Ciara I would have gotten Carl fucked up, up my dress and convulsing to his giant hands by now. Next morning. Car screeches away. Who was that? Carl. He had business to take care of. Really? Lindsay. Not being self-conscious of what she's doing makes her a really bad actress. Happy married with children! 23-Apr-2021
Stephen found out the hard way that there is no pleasing a woman. Dude, they're cocaine and we're weed. Wear them out. 05-Feb-2021
S7E12. She made me roar. She looks like something I would've faked to perfection. Men in skinny jeans are such beautiful assholes. LOL. 16-Apr-2022
S7E10. A boy band member got into trouble for calling women with surgical enhancements fake. I think they prefer the term "lizard." It was a high noon of male intolerance. Boys privately plotted against the women and covered their tracks. "Be nice. Fuck the shit out of them later." "Hey, you can fuck mine too if you want." "Bros for life until one snitches." The women's idea of a fairytale ended when a more expensive piece of plastic showed up to delete their fantasies. New lizard is making those dinosaurs roar! Her plastic is shiny. 14-Apr-2022
S7. A few episodes. Black diamond got duped by a couple of assholes that hypocritically crowned her a black queen of mosquitoes. Pretty boys talk over girls because they're not sucking their foreign cocks. They'll stop talking and start moaning as soon the girls put their gentle lips on their dicks. Girls with extensions get dry humped and black guys that make out for a long period of time become ashy. There are as many slaps as there are boners. 13-Apr-2022
Men have invented a new derogatory language to upset women. What now? We can't ban every word... or can we? Nobody mentioned french toast, its the best (any foreigner with sweet tasting d...) 22-Feb-2020
Contestants get paid to be inappropriate to strangers. 16-Feb-2020
I misinterpreted its existence. We are judging cave dwellers hooking up in a modern habitat. Skinny jeans, man pillows, wrangling, snogging, heart rips, musical accents and an errattic ear...that's entertainment. It's a braincation. 16-Feb-2020
Boring in any language. 25-Aug-2019
Reunion. How did Nick Lachey get so pink? He looks like fried pork. I love fried pork. Sweet and sour and a dash of soy sauce. Yum. Vanessa disguises her witchcraft well. I'm almost beguiled. I get it. He's almost to the point where he doesn't remember Marvel movies. Take all his money and drop out of the hemisphere. Pregnancies are the pathway to a cheating man's heart. "He aint fucking no raptor in lingerie. No Way!" Why do bisexuals keep sneaking around? It's 2022. Are they perverts? Someone came out as a lesbian and I guessed it because the curls in her hair stopped bouncing. I knew there was something askew. Beautiful giants need to stop raging on women that record them doing what giants were born to do. It's not a giant's fault that women aren't with it. Lesbians need to stop pretending they like small cocks on giant men. Braids on a man never looked more Groot. Pretty other thing got criticized on national TV for not keeping his mate from going full lesbian. Dude, that's rough. He's so pretty. Love is the easiest thing to replace, just close your eyes...and wish it bigger. Gigolos will appear with free tickets to nowhere. 16-Apr-2022
S1E1. The quickest way to get your partner to acquiesce to children and marriage is to dump them. Works every time. They don't need to go on a stupid reality show. Isn't that what the Lacheys stated at the beginning of the show? 11-Apr-2022
Lascelle's back fat jutted out of his giant torso and it was spectacular. The tip of his well crafted ass sparked memories of cracked wishbones. It was a lighter shade of his skin color. It was so wonderfully squishy. I imagined his ass sparkling in the dark. Beautiful contrast. Kittykats came to nip at homeboy but he became enraged. He only has eyes for hostile women. Two men got to see their future exes get it on with Hollywood sex workers. Mark Wahlberg attempted to bring skinny jeans back. Please let him. Girls have extensions, men need to parade what make gays swoon. It's joyful. Brains don't count. It was a black thing wasn't it. You didn't want to see it constantly. Thank God for latin TV, they are always five years behind. Back to the horny women. They were both riotous but only one moaned for more and then more. Was the fucker at his limit or was she granting him the permission to add two more inches every 20 seconds? Either way. Yikes!! 14-Apr-2022
Daddy's teeth don't work in a bonfire setting either. Okay. Some of those idiot things are melting my loins. Ack! 13-Apr-2022
Open marriages exist when one partner grows weary of the other's sex. You think? 31-Mar-2022
Mark Walberg's teeth are so white that he clashes with the sun. If you can't trust a man because he texts other girls you are Sherlock Holmes not paranoid. Fuck you, therapists! None of the boys are worth fealty. They're ack! There is some pretty ones on the Hollywood hooker side of the group but the caliber of men is very "Oscar," not deserving this year. A beast brother is rocking blue eyes and Cindy Brady curls. Ack. A guy from the Bronx is auditioning for West Side Story 2. Double ack. One of the tempted males is rocking doggy style long hair. You know, the haircut that separates the weave from your hair by curling at a non realistic point like all the females are wearing. Ghastly. 18-Mar-2022
