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Ultimatum: South Africa (2024-) Arf

I don't know if the individuals were breaking the rules or there were none. By episode 3 almost all the strangers hooked up, in one way or another. Some went all the way and others were inconclusive. One girlfriend cheated because she couldn't feel her husband's penis inside her. TG she found a cocky asshole to fill her side panels. Their partners were embarrassed and gaslighted. The white couple seemed out of sorts. She probably had a fantasy of trying a black man that he went along with because it stalled marrying her. She partnered with a horny boy who kept begging for it. White boy was partnered with a sad woman that had no idea why her boyfriend was enjoying the experience and lying about it whilst she was stuck with a white boy. The goldigger had every reason to want a real man with money and the men had every right to dump her. Men ask that a woman be respectful, a cook, attentive, a womb, a slut and someone that believes everything he tells her. They want to impregnate them so they can enjoy, at least, six months of guilt-free cheating because they need to fuck and they don't want to hurt the baby. I imagined Nick stuttering and Vanessa fainting at the reunion. It would have been hilarious. Book them tickets! 15-May-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lifestyle, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, World

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16-May-2024


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

Paige schooled Ariana DeBose on what a mentally challenged slut is. Is Robin Hood aware that we can flip him like a pancake and concentrate on that instead? Ciara kissed the aioli and didn't throw up. Gabby's problem is that she can't hit someone. Ariana DeBose? Bravo is not like BET. Carl needs to know that he can also be flipped and motor boated from behind. 27-Apr-2024
Ariana DeBose can replace Danielle and nobody would notice. Can Ciara please stop pretending to like white people? Can Lindsay stop pretending that there isn't more to her and the balloon guy than previously suggested? Is she diddying him to other girls? Is Amanda unaware that any man would eat and massage Robin Hood's ass if he asked? Is Lindsay aware that anybody would motorboat her giant, without asking, because of his hairy thunder thighs? 15-May-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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27-Apr-2024


Baby Reindeer (2024) BitesEarly Exit

S1E1. It blew me away like someone rejecting sex, with a wave of their hand. True stories don't have to try so hard. The ingredients were flame broiled and the tiny portions of reality chicken were blended. Ms Gunning enacted the written word but could not inflect a believable, funny or endearing persona. Did Gadd concoct an Amytiville or is he telling it wrong? Either way, the errors were enormous. I understood the first greet and meet because he felt sorry for her. By the second day it would take me five minutes to realize this is no good. I definitely wouldn't comp her another drink that she doesn't drink. (Wrong! Big people always thirsty.) He comped her throughout their relationship. I presume it came out of his till. I'd have as little interaction with her as possible and give her polite social distance. Gadd got everything he deserved for having a life that anyone could steal. He flirted and sexually harassed his tormentor because he thought it was funny and sane. That stuff only works on the internet, not face to face. The makers don't want us to ponder who any of the real people are because they don't exist? Even though some random looked her up in 1995 and obtained her life history? Is he a stalker+? Did he used to be fat? And maybe, that too!? He's suspicious and not funny, at all. 25-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Showy

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25-Apr-2024


Shogun (2024) Full Moon

Powerhouse acting, words on defense and beauty on blast. It was a poem about life. Fighting for faith is not the same as fighting for yourself. Freedom depends on that acknowledgment. Cosmo Jarvis had Ryan Phillippe looks and a great butt but he didn't need them. His eyes sparkled with information and coquetry. His voice, manly and protective. His gestures great and small. He also supplied some of the funniest bits. Hiroyuki Sanada was kingly. He cast vibrations just being. The writers understood that Anna Sawai was representing historical heritage. They made sure that her empowerment was befitting to her surroundings and that she apply it. Boy, did she ever. Suffering makes a hero, conviction makes a fighter and death equals longevity. The squad was perfection. 23-Apr-2024
E9. Mariko's heroism and heartbreak puts every female superhero actress to shame. 22-Apr-2024
Eventful television. 23-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Adorable, Beautiful, Best in Mini, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, History, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Mini, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Politics, Psychological, Relationships, Religion, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

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23-Apr-2024


Ripley (2024-) Whimper

Johnny Flynn did not make me understand why anybody would envy Dickie's life enough to steal it. Dakota Fanning was misused. She never really progressed past her harsh demeanor. She needed the director to shake the professionalism out of her. She was supposed to be the heart and the meat of the story but there was little proof the character had any. I would have air horned her when she couldn't say Dickie with a straight face. Why were the details so repetitive and why did I have to look up Caravaggio to understand what the killer was all about? Because, besides talking to dead people, it's complicated. Inspector Ravini added a shot of testosterone to the murky blunders. He was a beautiful respite from Ripley's underwhelming reactions. Unfortunately, the Lucy episode betrayed him. The idea that Scott could play both characters in front of an expert investigator, whilst sporting a goatee and messy hair and not get found out was a slap in the face of the entire investigation and series. Even Ricky wasn't that stupid. Ripley never got to spaz out. Bummer. Dickie was never pictured in the papers when they thought he was missing and when he was wanted for murder. The cops didn't go door to door with a picture of Dickie asking the hotel clerks if they've seen this man. Why? Woodbine showed up again for no reason other than to fill his quota. He also kept his eyes mostly closed. Comprehension did not seem feasible at that point. 19-Apr-2024
E5. You can't ask a fish to play a canine. Instead of using it's time to add depth to other characters it kept depending on only one artist. It is not feasible that a person of his character would return to the scene of the crime and less feasible that nobody would care. Details that read well were ignorantly distributed. I read the original book, was entertained by the film and remembered it wasn't this boring. 17-Apr-2024
E3. Of course I'm still mad that they didn't supply any crayons for the coloring book but papito's italian accent made up for it. He added finality to certain words and made them linger with musicality. I crinkled half the book joyously laughing. I pinched him and hugged myself. 16-Apr-2024
E2. I'm losing patience. It doesn't matter what spectrum an actor falls into, when asked to play a boy, they better act like one. 14-Apr-2024
E1. Black and white can be a statement, the past and or a representation. Schindler's List was black and white so the violence wouldn't be glamorized and the subject exploited. I have no idea why this interpretation needs to be in black and white. It's insurmountable misery. The ambience is french/italian movies from the 60's that bored or didn't easily make sense. It shouldn't be noir. Paper Moon? The Little Rascals? It's not Hitchcock. If the black participants hadn't kept their eyes open, I wouldn't have noticed them. I recognized Woodbine's name after the credits. Who did he play exactly? Yes, the shadow at the bar. The mystery sweeps, the movement is slow but the leads keep you interested.

(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Lifestyle, Magnetism, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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19-Apr-2024


Married At First Sight (2014-) HowlDowngrade

It is imperceptible that the men would deserve a win after those badly scripted answers but they did. Paster Cal would rather poke girl power than have his expertise questioned. He looked like he wanted to douse those pink dresses in Carrie's pig blood. The eldest expert established why she likes cakes more than humans. She only gives a shit when her cake money is in jeopardy. They made the guy with the parasyte apologize to Dr. Pia which created a puddle underneath her chair. I could hear the flutes of hatred playing in the native american's head every time his ex celebrated something. Everything was blamed on a scam that seemed too diabolical for the producers not to inform the experts about so they could shut it down, punish, expose and film it from an honest perspective. A lie detector test every other week. What a great show that would have been. 18-Apr-2024
Reunion. The Barbies declared war on men. So far, none of the men won. Austin couldn't describe what sort of attraction he had to Becca or his whereabouts on the umpteeth day. The purple one's bride refused to join the Barbie brigade, she's partial to plums. His purple badness realized his dick still works. Cameron was portrayed as the stupidest because Barbie Clare had proof and a lie detector test. Kevin Frazier needed to check Brennan for parasytes. Being an alien couldn't save him. He's not going to shove his fat dick in the first wife he marries. In part 2 I want to see pastor Cal wheeled in a Hannibal Lecter dolly and have Dr. Pepper guess what parts of the stage are cake. 11-Apr-2024
Prince's bride is up to something. Is she being impossible so he can get turned off and she can legally break her contract or are they just stirring drama? The half native american must have been kicked out of his tribe again. He's desperately trying to create a home. He was previously kicked out for being half white, did they question his sexual identity? He keeps representing a people whose prejudices don't allow him in. Men clam up and dump because ladies can't take hints, are tired of lying and hurting women's feelings. There is no need to ask anything past "why." The finale has already been written. One red flag is too many. The ladies may have instigated the toxic attitudes in the men or the men's mothers did. 15-Mar-2024
The thick Barbies got dumped. Stunt Barbie is doing great. 08-Mar-2024
The native american showed up at couples retreat because he wanted to make sure that his black ex-wife knows that he isn't red. Hypocrisy found something to love about Prince. His pets. There is no better way to announce you're gay than with pearls. Dracula's wife is an unfortunate character written by Alfred Hitchcock. Is blood supposed to look that fake? Tomato sauce is thick and fiery not runny pink. Goldilocks is not the bear we think she is. He hates fish. Somebody fucked 50 lbs off Pastor Cal. Did Pastor Cal suggest to the purple bride to open her legs and allow the purple badness to do its job? They are not strangers! 14-Feb-2024
Why did Prince's bride and family act like they were in on something and were late cancelling their ironclad contract? They sent Dr. Pia to check how the viagra treatments were working on Austin and Brennan. Two different outcomes from men that only have a fear of vagina in common. Austin said fuck it, how bad can it be but looked ready for anyone from production to step in and take over. Dude was acting like his boyfriend was watching. Dr. Pia could not intimidate the russian. The drips were making him hostile but not rapey. One look from him and Dr. Pia's vagina stretched to oblivion. She no longer felt like the confident woman that she was hired to be. Attractiveness is turning others into water puddles with just one look. He deserves that too. 18-Jan-2024
The russian got crucified for having no attraction to his stranger wife. An expert recommended attraction conversion therapy. The women didn't understand. He said he's not attracted to her and if he says why it'll embarrass her. Maybe her pussy stinks. That's the truth women demand but refuse to listen to. The man doesn't need to be straight jacketed because a woman doesn't give him a woody. It's sexual coercion. 27-Dec-2023
S17E7. Never ever gift a couple a knife. It tears the relationship. Boy, that lady really didn't want to marry Prince. He withstood it and lavished us with too much presence. Was he enjoying the self pity? People need to realize their limitations and not use them to make others feel awkward for the sake of good tv. It appears he receives redemption. Isn't that against the rules? To insure less mishaps the producers must be required to describe something about him to the the girl strangers, missing the point of the show. It felt staged. It could have been Dr. Viviana in that wedding dress for all we know. I wish. I miss her. She and those cats. She was hilarious. I'm calling this the canine season because at least, more than one person is married to a dog. Not a thighmaster among them. The russian has something but acts like he's on a mission we don't want to know about. The black bride got shafted. Her husband thinks that being native gives him the authority to be right. We are all from tribes. Some tribes progress while others cling to a past that helps no one. Treaties fail, antagonism builds, a war is fought and a tribe loses. Instead of accepting the loss, they grudge and make it harder for progressive tribes to prosper and aide them, without guilt. Without the indian war, slavery or America, we wouldn't exist. My darling woman, dump him. He will never work out and his family will punish you. We are humans first. Oh, no. I just thought. They wouldn't dare hire a blind girl for Prince, right? 26-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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18-Apr-2024


Parasyte: The Grey (2024-) Woof

I wasn't expecting much. The aliens were easy to spot. Hey dude, why you talking like that? Can they imitate anything other than a squid? Yes, they can. Viewership became verdant, I was addicted but their motor died. Emotions got no satisfaction but the revelations made it through. 12-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Horror, Music Rocks, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, TV, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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12-Apr-2024


Deal or No Deal Island (2024-) Whimper

I remembered the old lady for five minutes but Boston Rob is the only contestant I retained. Fucker doesn't even need to show his dad bod. All anybody wants from him is the permission to suck his dick as he calls you a cunt or a slut in that indefinable accent. Manganiello can disrobe and watch. 10-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Stupid Funny, Warbly, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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10-Apr-2024


Supersex (2024) Arf

All not given but wanted will become a superpower because the less blessed will feed it. Rocco was gifted with looks, a power dick and a drive that kept him crashing but getting back up. The series steers from controversial shenanigans and turns it into a comic book of male and female fantasies. Alessandro Borghi is Rocco as soon as the light hits him. The support did good work. A woman's point of view mattered. It stalls getting to Siffredi's porn king era. The gay friendship involved no free blowjobs or looksies. Really? The love story was a sad emoticon and the realization was astonishing because what makes you, breaks you. 10-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Lifestyle, Magnetism, Nostalgic, Porn, Psychological, Romance, Sentimental, Sex, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Apr-2024


Dave Attell: Hot Cross Buns (2024) Whimper

The buns are stale. He admitted it in the beginning. There are no more late night eateries for the drunken night owl. It was his livelihood and his funny. Post it, he doesn't live it up much. 05-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Lifestyle, Nostalgic, Sentimental, Stand-Up, Timid, Unfunny

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05-Apr-2024


Outro Case, The (2024) Howl

Before anyone gets more rights, we need to save the little ones. They are the future. No one survives this kind of abuse without becoming, dying or flying. Barbie can do anything! The outro case was mind boggling and jittery. More than 18 adults were accused of ganbanging little children. It is assumed that there is no correlation between the accused because they come from different backgrounds, looks and age. The study forgot bisexual. The doc mentions a girl whose diagnosis proved she was still a virgin. The boys were sodomized but their diagnosis was not included. Wouldn't their private parts be shredded? At times, it seemed like the whole neighborhood was fucking them until other towns started showing up. The balloon kept blowing until it popped. There are many unanswered questions and the beast knows most of them. It's confusing, devastating and unstoppable. 19-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Bio, Brutal, Choices, Director's Slice, Discomfort, Doc, Drama, Gay, LGBTQ, Trashy, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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19-Mar-2024


Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy, I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before sex begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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13-Mar-2024


Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans (2024) Woof

The liberties taken grew gargantuan. Gus Van Sant's episodes were gliding and gripping. Naomi Watts had an emotional control that was lovely to watch. Diane Lane stole it like Joan Crawford in The Women. I'ver never seen her so alive. Watching Flockhart exercise her muscles was nostalgic. Demi did a lot with so little. Chloe Sevigny fit the part of the best friend that was only considered as such, only if she was doing them a favor. It's always a pleasure to see the legend but her role as Capote's mother should have been scrapped. The mother was an abusive monster. He wouldn't really consider her a best friend. Treat Williams acted like a dick and came off as one. Tom Hollander had a tight grip on the spiritual and physical persona of Capote. His performance was masterful. The ball went on for too long. The series repeated, stalled and stretched until the finale. The actors were stupendous, the ladies all beautiful and the setting, rich. The Baldwin episode was a preachy one with nothing to back it up. It inserts a black competitor in a part of history that didn't belong. The fun eeks out after the abused big boy child tries to chop all of the swans heads off for being like his mother. Women don't like that.

(I hope Andy Cohen's pigeons will one day, forgive him.) 09-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Elegance, Fun Acting, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Pretty, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tough

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09-Mar-2024


Program, The (2024) Woof

Religious parents are the worst thing to ever happen to teenagers. 08-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Doc, Drama, Politics, Religion, Sex, Tough, Words Spoke

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08-Mar-2024


Rainbow (1978) Woof

It chronicles Judy Garland's childhood. It requires that the child actor that's portraying her, be masterly to convey her but unfortunately the child sings like an angel but has no Garlandesque spirit. The story is historical, personal and respectfully private. Baby Judy was no child. Andrea McArdle was a phenom. The Annie song blaster had the same equipment but it was married to broadway whilst the legend screamed out the blues anywhere she could. It doesn't quite matter, when the lead is gifted with voice and likability. They repeated some songs to completion and that was frustrating but I loved hearing her voice. Piper Laurie was a queen mother. A deprived human on survival mode willing to do anything to eat. She only becomes extreme when the power shifts and Judy becomes the mother. The story is signed by a friend and it's an innocent adventure into young Judy's life. 28-Feb-2024

Tags: 1970s, Bio, Celebrity, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Good Acting, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Sentimental, Star Watt, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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28-Feb-2024




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