TV Posts Tagged as 'Celebrity'
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God Forbid (2022)
It makes fun of itself before we get a chance to. Mockumentary is its misplaced inspiration. When pool boy recounts his sexual encounters with mommy and daddy pastor he edges close enough to wink and fuck the camera. He was dying to show us his dick. Privileged beauty is bought for an unsatisfied housewife and a latent homosexual. When beauty tries to break his contract, god's disciples rebel which god's beauty avenges. The Trump years were exhausting and felt like a foreboding comeback. Pool boy's sister had way too many things to say about her brother's prowess. Tom Arnold makes a cameo. Religion is a business. 02-Nov-2022
Academy Awards (2022)
Beyonce can't accomplish anything without an army. Her army's so tough that they should fight in the Ukraine. The hosts had nothing in common except vaginas and disdain for men. As a group they failed. A missed opportunity was lost when they panned away from Samuel L. Jackson's insulted reaction to their shitty jokes. It was a Cosby moment all over again. (Look it up.) The first capture of the legend was confusing. I thought he'd gone woke. Bitch, embraced his RuPaul and was rocking a bouffant! Oops. That was his wife. The ladies promised a gay, gay show and the director panned to Travolta in denial. Amy did her standup to guffaws. She won the night. Regina Hall was second, by kidnapping Timothee Chalamet and Bradley Cooper and sending them backstage to admire each other. A James Bond film dedication was so Errattic. I was almost embarrassed. It was cold. Bruno was just as bad live. The gayest black man in Hollywood won best actor. Sorry, Travolta! We will never hear the end of it. Smith called out the Williams sisters for being weak. His character was a necessity for success. He was so overwhelmed that he signed his two children to fight in the Ukraine War. Lady Gaga should be hired to wheel every legend onto the Oscar stage. Surprise, surprise. 27-Mar-2022
Password Plus (1979-)
S1E51. Greg Morris was the black celebrity guest. Two of the clues were "mammy" and "watermelon." "Pansy" was extra. I was wrong. Morris did not remain silent and a funny discussion of awareness was provoked. 03-Mar-2022
Betty White's husband was saucy and inappropriate. She was too. I always thought that Betty's true feelings appeared when she was acting vindictive. Is that why Dorothy hated her? The perfect couple appeared cold onscreen and very Happy Homemaker. I'm sure surviving him compelled her to be the nicest talented cunt in Hollywood. Mooooah! Elizabeth Montgomery was a smart witch, Tony Randall knew it all. Barf. The men kept undermining Elaine Joyce because she was vibrant, sexy and genius. Betty White was always bright. She was auditioning and providing for her future self. The best thing about the game is that if you don't look at the screen, you can play along and find out how dumb you are. Showing how brilliant they were was a badge of achievement in the further representation of a celebrity brand. The first man to win was black, the second best timer was a lesbian, the only thing beating a lesbian is a future lesbian with a husband and a smelly salesman is the only one that can change that. "Mammy" and "blackface" were never produced as clues when the contestants were black. That was respectful. There were gays and porn stars but they only played for attention. Loved it! 22-Feb-2022
These Old Broads (2001)
It was a spectacular low-budget showcase with a supreme cast and some artistic expression. The legends reminded us how they became, how time forgives and that they can still entertain. Fisher added pepper to her words. Sometimes, overly, with a sting. She made a legend apologize to her parental legend for being a treacherous whore bestie who stole their daddy. Elizabeth did it and it was a beautiful moment. Deep, full and roomy describe "broad." The film's walls were made out of gingerbread though and the icing kept sliding. The com got sticky. I didn't care. I loved hearing legends call each other whores. It made me feel human. 20-Dec-2021
Facts Of Life/Different Strokes Live (2021)
No one studied character like Ann Dowd but everyone did their part to make it fun. 10-Dec-2021
Jonas Brothers Family Roast (2021)
Roasting the golden boys of purity by recognizing their faults. Keenan knows how to host, the boys are good sports, Pete Davidson doesn't hurt and some of the wives don't suck. The brothers have big dicks and squishy asses. It's a safe SNL spin on Nick. John Legend clicked as a crooner covering a white twink takeover. 26-Nov-2021
Love Boat, The (1977-1987)
Love Boat existed to keep old Hollywood cranking, practicing and competing. If you were a nice Hollywood legend and the people liked you, it warranted a return. The captain was a snob with a penchant for girl grabs, trans sex and unwarranted political views. Lauren Tewes was a drug inducer whose smile and social activities denied it. Ted Lange kept the drinks shaking and rhyming to romantic beats. Fred Grandy was aptly named Gopher as was Charo. All animals and children have a chance at "coochie coochie" on the high seas. Cruises are meant for cheating not confessing. Why ruin a good marriage over a fuck? Not recommended for children or parents across the world. Beauty is a factor, ugly gets laid, poor people smell, old women drink, gays pretend, extensions don't exist, cultures commiserate, men are pigs, sex is free, meat was eaten, everything is beautiful and all is forgiven. 06-Jul-2021
Young Rock (2021-)
The man has attention, revenge, fame, money, his family, more fame, more money and more power... The show's excuse is to promote Mr. Johnson as the next Republican leader in-charge by having him brag for 22 minutes. Does being a stereotype make him like everybody else? 23-Feb-2021
Framing Britney Spears (2021)
Britney is the golden bird whose wings were snapped so she wouldn't fly the coop and stop laying golden eggs. She flew the coop because people were perceiving who she was whilst nodding and ignoring everything she said. Without its subject, the doc is elementary. Britney's loss of freedom is hurtful. The doc didn't have the budget to solve the issue but it scattered clues for us to count. A conservatorship was assigned because she was willing to gift her fortune to someone else? That's scary. We don't want Britney in the streets. Daddy is monstrous. Where's mom? 10-Feb-2021
Wendy Williams: What A Mess! (2020)
A throaty and battle-weary queen sitting on her throne describing her scars of conflict. She strips another layer of skin and it's boldy humiliating. Oh shit. The hate you give rolls back. It was devastating watching a queen fall apart, reinvent herself and seek revenge in the course of an hour. She outcomplexed myself. It was riveting. If it was fake... even more riveting. 31-Jan-2021
Wendy Williams: The Movie (2021)
Ciera Payton was too hollowed and untrained to lend craft to Wendy's huge persona. The accent. She got her Snookies confused with her Lavernes. The tits were great. Why didn't Ms. Payton lip synch to Wendy's real voice? Why didn't Ms. Williams just do it? Why not go balls out crazy and cast a man? That's gold. We tune in because it's grade A gossip but we know it's "fuck you" art. 31-Jan-2021
Dr. Seuss' The Grinch: Musical 2020)
The one time of the year where we show amnesty to a child predator banished to the caves because of a holiday. He turns green from a life of despair and lack of sexual perversity. Poor Max. Matthew Morrison is hated for his perfect curls, right amount of body hair, a nice gut, Leah Michelle professionalism and knowing it. The perfect Grinch. The musical doesn't suck because of him, it is saved by him. A professional never sweats, never disconnects and never stops giving it their all. The mask lets him down but daddy was fully encapsulated. The songs are very outdated. Kids can't eat all the sweets that fill them. They don't know what sweets are and their parents can't remember why they banned them. It is a Whoville delicacy. The white bear meat looked really tasty too. Anyway, the pederast wants to destroy Whoville Christmas to honor the anniversary of when he got caught molesting a child that wasn't related. Cindy Lou saves the day, a green man woody makes a comeback, they all exchange presents they can't return and a molester makes it back home. 10-Dec-2020
American Music Awards (2020)
Justin Bieber acknowledged that being gang banged by black male artists is why he mimics their rap and style. He also wanted to induct us into his new religion. Total fail. No man is going to join a religion that allows you to grow prematurely bald. Twink, twink. Taraji is the kind of guest you don't want to leave alone with white people. The Weekend donning Michael Jackson weirdness and surgery dedicated his award to gay hater Prince. "Katy Perry fat" makes a better live singer than Katy Perry normal. Wow, rap is so gay. I tuned out as soon as Derek Hough licked the camera. 23-Nov-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
Reunion 2. Drug converse lingered too long. We need to accommodate the mentally impaired so they can joyfully do their sexually abusive jobs without killing anyone. That was the safety feature the Goddess was trying to implement. It works both ways, the drugs are illegal but a psychosis strike is no joke. The moment we enter a doctor's office, we are all drug addicts. The goddess struck down the captain with a thunderbolt as Malia armed herself like a gunslinger. Chef fuck was puppyish and backstabbing as he snitched that being fingered by Deck Ratched is a threat to his life. The Ratched played feminine and hopeless with a butch face whilst receiving glaring looks from daddy captain. Is pretty Jesus allowed to say, Oh Jesus? That was discomfiting. The lord doesn't give a shit about drugs, women issues or life policies. He's Jesus and he needs to fuck. 27-Oct-2020
Reunion. It was Hannah sabotage. All political and aesthetic arguments were won by women. They had Hannah to blame for everything, even how bad the chef's food tasted. The ratched was demure, the captain was tuna of the sea, Andy zipped his body into a zippo in case anything got mistook and Jesus was pushed aside like the God no longer required. Welcome to New Poseidon. 19-Oct-2020
The rocket liberated Jesus so others could worship him. Mistake. A goddess that begs on her knees and turns her tears into oceans is not worthy of his majesty. He's an experience not a flight. Deck Ratched should be commended for steering the boat and controlling her hen (Chef Fuck.) Alex was commended for being a nasty fuck that cares. Bugs is efficiency. Aesha is a jolt. Captain Sandy gets an outstanding pretense award for wishing Chef Fuck and Ratched well when Ratched had already confessed to her how she was going to dump him, whilst snogging in bed. (It's called Gaydar.) 12-Oct-2020
Aesha had a priceless reaction to the rocket's complaint that no one is allowed to touch pretty jesus butt during group photos. Aesha never heard of relationship confinement rules but she complied with the goddess' request and snorted to the audience. "My friends and family do it all the time, what would I do with his butt anyway, I don't have a penis," or something like that. Deck Ratched gave Chef Fuck an ass rubdown and he flitted about for the rest of the charter. 07-Oct-2020
When someone questions another's sexuality for provocation she probably does it because they want it, have tried it and want it again. Malia may not be a lesbian but she dates sweet n' low. Chef Fuck couldn't do a thing without deck Ratched. The captain was content just to find another dick to kick onboard now that dickhand was chained up. Alex was asked by empowered women who his boat bitch was as dickhand rattled his chains underground and cried for help. The pretty one decided that his Jesus skills could impart horny rich frumps to bump the tip and maybe make Goddess cancel that Bali trip. Aesha is a social worker. She basically bonked out because there were emotions and jealousies oozing from the rocket's mouth. "That bitch is crazy, relationships don't look like that no more. Google it." 28-Sep-2020
Academy Awards (2020)
The Academy figured out that diversity comes in more than one color.
The "Parasite"s snared it.
Eminem was an unnecessary surprise, stirring thoughts of homophobia, sexism and racial encroachment whilst being lauded and absolved.
I'd be "right" if Olivia Colman hosted the Oscars. She's toolshed hilarious (handy but sharp.) The show feels lonely without a parent to supervise it.
The musical numbers were welcome, the star pairings were amusing and the show knew when to wrap it up. 10-Feb-2020