TV Posts Tagged as 'Bad Chemistry'
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Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022-)
S1E4. I bought a box of Depends so I could put up with the rest of the season. 13-Jun-2022
S1E1. The disease that made Hayden Christensen sink Darth Vader may have been borne from Star Wars speak not Hayden Christensen. The acting is horrible. The originals are the only ones that understood that nerdy language. The series recreates a legend whose ending has already been written but doesn't push it any further. To 2022? It's so corny I shit my pants backwards. 02-Jun-2022
Is It Cake? (2022-)
S1E1. Mikey Day actually sounds like that? I thought that was an SNL inflection. The refrain is killing me. The artistic aspect (cakes) are impressive but the format and its presentation are unforgivable. The reason the guest stars are not household names is because the majority of people don't want to hear them. I am leaving because I'm allergic to certain sounds and I don't eat cake. 23-Mar-2022
Happiest Season (2020)
Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend. That sinking feeling you get is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.
(Uh oh. It ends in lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020
Saturday Night Live (2018-)
The Christmas episode with Kristen Wiig. Wiig graced us with her professionalism but the balls to her pong were deflated. Lorne, when you choose diversity over talent you get this. The worst cast imaginable. There are exceptions, Jost and Che always overcome the overly fussed jokes and even though he can't get it right Beck Bennet's squishiness is succulent. He stays for one more round until he can prove himself. Pete Davidson's infamy will always precede his comedy. None of Wiig's skits worked. She was out of practice and sadly written. Dua Lipa can't act but she can swing a mean hat. 20-Dec-2020
Matt revved it up, Rachel graced it, the steadies couldn't overcome it, the host is best I don't mention and Kanye shat all over it. His disdain for all art was evident. 30-Sep-2018
Married At First Sight (2014-)
S11E12. Memories. Tree Banger expressed joy at being matched with a jungle woman. Banger Jungle roared and squelched like that funny actress on Wonder Woman 2 with shittier effects. Woody continued his act. The wife may be slaughtered when unable to scream. What the fuck does that mean? He fucked up my channel. If Freddy had designed nightmare wet dreams Brett would be in all of them. Olivia is a dream that awakens despair. I could have strangle fucked the bird and he would have said, "now you're getting it," as the mermaid holds a ray gun to my head that stuns dick. Miles and Karen. Miles, in my hood, you would have arrived at satisfaction, received a polish and a topper, a perfect manicure and a shave and wet worship manhandling. He would return having sacrificed enough joy to deal with her. 02-Oct-2020
The experts supplied the duos with the "Know You" quiz I invented five years ago and we got to know them better. Women are going to have to decide if the switch of power is suitable for male/female relationship success. Men are displaying feelings, getting insecurities, are depressed and vagina does not like it. They've become sensitive mothers with no wombs. They wont dare go near one unless she writes "yes, please!" on their chests. Woody transmitted porn vibrations and a hurtful soul. Amani played along with him. They discussed getting a dog with Woods not wanting one and Amani demanding one. Same solution as with the kids. She gets a dog and the kids get smacked every time they don't pick up after it. Scuttle opened up to the ocean and the mermaid and she tail thrashed him. I felt bad for him. It's not her fault either. Everyone deserves to get who they want. The mismatch almost seems like a producer in-joke. Olivia called out Brett's sarcastic look, talk and breath. She "officially" proclaimed he was Jekyll in front of the camera and Hyde behind it. He answered every question like a male escort, drank a shark drink like it was real and ate his taco like it was Olivia. Karen's constant belittling of Miles sexuality makes it seem she needs to check her own. Miles sperm dried up when the expert suggested they take sex off the table. Dude, run! The expert's disdain for cats was a detail I wished I'd miss. After it attacked her, she shooshed it away real polite and ratched. Banger wife re-attached a friend's finger after the Tree accidentally cut it off. I hope she flossed before the operation. Safety first. 24-Sep-2020
Daily routines were observed and only sarcasm relayed the truth. Amani spits toothpaste onto your hair. Woody awakens like a senior and avoids the night like a feeble. Olivia startles awake and Brett arises perfect. Tree Banger coyly called out wifey for a lack of cleanliness but she didn't bite. She's the breadwinner and he is the service. Case closed. The mermaid princess got together with another couple and ate Sebastian's grandchildren. Scuttle (the bird) spent half the time standing and perching. Amani attempted to have Scuttle confide in her but besides babbling about how impatience scares him, there wasn't much for Amani to capture from birdspeak. The princess was not amused that he thought her rude to her subjects. The bird, who never talks, complained about her lack of communication. They rethought things and decided the attention and cha-ching that may follow will be worth the marriage. To my chagrin Scuttle compared himself to a turtle. I blurted, "really?" His face twitches 50 times before a turtle blinks and are the feathers there to hide his shell? Brett attracted gay woodies at a rock climbing event then played "Trivia" at a bar with Olivia and her friends. The questions went over his head, he became surly and uncooperative exclaiming that what they were playing wasn't trivia. Wife was overcome with weakness, stepped out and had a meaningless conversation with her friend about how he doesn't want to be a part of them. I was team Brett all the way. The game was shit and the friends were condescending. Woody and Amani discussed child whipping. She was against it and he was raised with it. Of course, he acquiesced but thought...fuck it, a slap and a threat when she's not around, they won't tell. Executive decision yelled rape with a but. I have no understanding of her type. By proclaiming to be so empowered she has become the weakest bride. If you need to pay someone to show you what closeness is, you're a robot. Let the daddy loose or fuck his brains out. You only live once. 17-Sep-2020
Hollywood dating was in effect. Karen and Miles went food shopping. I would have picked up Popeyes before heading home just to annoy her. Executive Decision (Karen) declared foul once again. She can't deal being matched with a girl. What kind of bulls are in this woman's life? Daddy just wants some bear hugs, teet tweaks, a yank and maybe a pull. As soon as daddy put his sex foot forward, she yelled rape. She's not suitable for human contact. The Bangers went slacklining. I would have pulled out my scissors and cut the line but this couple is about celebrating every stupid little thing. The banana tree broke peer sex pressure and popped the wife which lent him "I can do better" arrogance as he regaled her for being unkempt and undutiful. He also chose space instead of her. That'll teach her not to clean the bathroom. The bird taught aquatic maiden to golf and a human tried teaching them to dance. I wondered if his head whips spontaneously back and forth during oral service. Olivia and Brett went on a Republican alligator expedition. Brett was especially upset when he realized there'd be no alligators attacking the boat or his wife. Stupid and funny reactions were enabled with an addendum stating Brett would be honored to push his wife out of a plane. 09-Sep-2020
The couples prepared for company. Brett called Pastor Cal a dik and went missing for hours. Next day he returned to celebrate his marriage to a nurse practitioner with free access to drugs. Party time. Brett compared his wife to Nurse Jackie and gossiped to his friends that there was a lot of big dick in Mexico. The Bangers played house. Tree Banger rocked some jack-o-lantern cotton as his head made a great wick. The aquatic princess couldn't think of a favorite childhood food even though she's a mermaid and was cooking fish. The Dracula wives made a return to authenticate that their bff was the best victim a woman could ask for - without the sex part. Karen softened to the idea of their being some Perry in Madea. The village partiers "sex bashed" the men that weren't measuring up. The chants in favor of rape were horrific. Do you want him to pull your hair? Yes, that would be nice. Choking. If he knows the safe word, yes. Will you let him say the first word? Absolutely! Can you beg to push things along? Absolutely fucking not, I'm still a woman. Rape. 02-Sep-2020
Emmy Awards (2020)
Kimmel could have been cheaply portrayed by any muppet from Sesame Street and Anthony Anderson wouldn't have made Elmo take a knee for being inappropriately funnier than him. The comedy was Blue's Clues challenging and hostility safe. They found three drag queens to applaud for RuPaul as long as they were not in the same room. Everyone had observations as to how we can continue to give them a great life even though they suck up most of it. I tuned out as soon as the Queen Mother of Greed honored Madea for inspiring Drag Race. Really? Of course, I tuned back in for super daddy Succession and mama Zendaya. Maybe a little longer. People are angry because the rich keep celebrating things and doing nothing. Thanks for the sign but can you shove one less spoiled kid with a special price tag in my face? I'm not gay enough for Schitt's Creek, not butch enough for Killing Eve and not girl enough for Normal People. The show only confirms that I will see the end of the world. Congratulations, winners! 20-Sep-2020
Camp Getaway (2020-)
It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020
Midnight Kiss (2019)
Gays garnering the right to be slaughtered on film like they're straight brethren. Writing representation is limited to watching half a season of Drag Race. The eye candy is squirmy and the serial getup has no sex appeal or fright. 27-Dec-2019
Carol's Second Act (2019-)
It has a problem growing up. 08-Nov-2019
Why is Patricia Heaton acting like she switched bodies with her teen granddaughter? 27-Sep-2019
I-Land, The (2019-)
Unbearable characterization and no adept drivers washing ashore. Out. 27-Sep-2019
I'm on the third episode. The curiosity is minimal, actor attitude is on high alert for no apparent reason and the dialogue is banal. Only a driver, expert at U-turns, can save it. 24-Sep-2019
Emmy Awards (2019)
I tuned in as radio while I prepared dinner. I missed the first hour because there was important wine to drink but I tuned at the beginning of the second. Almost everything I hated won. Hollywood creates realistic art but has trouble appearing realistic. Billy added flair and Halsey held my attention, everything else was soap. We need to be convinced that human representation isn't a part-time job. Being politically correct has made everyone boring. The host wasn't the problem. 22-Sep-2019
Russian Doll (2019-)
When Pinky Tuscadero introduced it we defied it. Their equality banner states that anyone can be boring. I can't speak robot and it perturbed my ex-lover. 10-Mar-2019
American Horror Story: Apocalypse (2018)
Bassett added salt, Jessica sprinkled seasoning and Conroy served fine china. The Antichrist wasn't built from angelic downfall but was acid to a soup that the writers unnecessarily kept reheating. 14-Nov-2018
I basked in Jessica, the story broke from its captor and the whole weaved its own fairytale ending. 18-Oct-2018
Jessica....run! 17-Sep-2018
The odd energy wasted on jumble might have spared us from a Sarah Paulson "Dracula" cliche. 17-Sep-2018
Martha & Snoop's Potluck Dinner (2016-)
I keep waiting for Martha to have a "Merlot" moment and brand the shenanigans she has to endure overdone. 19-Jun-2018
Kevin Can Wait (2016 -)
It's obvious the writer's don't write people. Only a wheelchair can keep me bound to this. 23-Apr-2018
Replacing an actress is not going to make a show better. Replacing the writers, on the other hand, might get you out of the dumpster you all landed in. 01-Oct-2017
Sometimes it seems James is the only one working to tickle us. Every performer is a cutout of the comedy formula, a little spent and not at all enterprising. The chemistry created during The Chore Weasel between Kevin and Andrew Ridings is the acid match it's star is worthy of. Unless the support wakes up, Kevin will remain atop but alone. 14-Oct-2016