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TV Posts Tagged as 'Sap'

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Too Hot To Handle (2020-) Bites

Yo, call a doctor! The human race is hornier than we thought. It's not just us, its everybody! The children are fucked! 03-Jul-2021
No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Fake, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Reality, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

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03-Jul-2021


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The series encourages eating from the forbidden fruit so when the lovers reunite they can be put on trial. The prettiest boy in the world is a conniving robot with missing essential parts. That girl DID NOT sleep with him! (Cue the video.) Dude, start experimenting with your pink hole. Gay and porn will provide you with a home and some play money. Erika & Kendal. Daddy Walberg did not let Kendal out of his seat until his dick was deep fried. Chelsea & Thomas. Thomas sat quietly as Daddy Walberg paraded all the better options his girlfriend has but later went backstage and pulled his hair out. It was growing in well too. Kristen & Julian. As flat as the pages of a fairytale that will never see publishing. We don't read Shakespeare but we talk like this? In cliches? Of course, the cheater didn't cheat while on Temptation Island. He no like that kind of candy. 29-Apr-2021
It's been a downcast season. I still want to sit on Mark Walberg, tweek his teets, burn into his baby blues while he provides psychological therapy and I rock up and down. Chelsea & Thomas. He promised his hair treatments would grow real hair in an allotted set of time and failed. She met someone whose plugs are finished, can lift things and doesn't shed. Erica & Kendal. She can punish him however she wants. He thought the purpose of the show was to go on a Fantasy Island type honeymoon and shoot some porn. Awesome, right? Honey, the court will look the other way. Anything you want. Erin & Corey. The most beautiful boy in the world and man's most popular choice. You want to lick his faults like ice cream but he's a pendejo. Yeah, we'll lick a pendejo, but he aint going to taste like ice cream for very long. The show paid a sex worker to tell him that what his willy can't accomplish his pretty face can. Rah, rah, rah...only if he joins our team as a super bottom. Viva Mexico! Kristen & Julian. Fake and shriveled up. Tempters get no empathy. Someone asked them if they wanted to go on TV and destroy some relationships and they said yes. Homeless deviants! 22-Apr-2021
The temptation is mighty man boobs. 21-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

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29-Apr-2021


Falcon And The Winter Soldier (2021-) WoofDowngradeArf

Preachers hijacked the writing room. Victim is the new black. A black super soldier spends the rest of his life watering plants with a twink by his side as punishment for having the bravery to be drugged and evolve the strength to save people. He could have been Captain America except for the cruel charisma of a wasp. America voted him out, jailed and erased him. So he said. If the show had commenced with this notion, we would have been spared some ineffectual rundowns and it would have smashed impact. Julia Louis Dreyfus pinched delightfully but had no time to heist. Why are Wakandans allowed to walk freely with spears? The superbad was Orphan Annie grown with a Party City mask, reminding parents that depriving children is best. Teaching is for school and parents. If we can show them how great we are without saying a word, we've won them over. Everything must be black (good) and white (bad) because we're too sensitive for grey (everyone). We all suck. 26-Apr-2021
An ode to superhero support that no one cared about. The task of the series is to make us care. The action zips, the storyline seems cohesive but the protagonists need to make us feel more than heroism. The story is zooming but the actors ain't riding it. 21-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bad Acting, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Overcooked, Political, Relationships, Sap, Silly, Timid, Tired, Writ Basic, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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26-Apr-2021


90 Day Fiance (2014-) Howl

"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.

A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.

(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Good Acting, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Social Media, Tacky, Tough, Travel, World

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28-Mar-2021


Debris (2021-) Whimper

Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Fatigue, Grating, Hot Swatch, Pitchy, Sap, Sci-Fi, Static, Timid, Weird

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08-Mar-2021


Cinderella (1997) Arf

The tale of Cinderella no longer elevates the fantastic script of the virginity slut. It doesn't help minorities either. Brandy makes me question the braids. When does she find the time? They looked expensive. Did she go to a salon? Should Cinderella go anywhere? The music was of a different time whose rhythm few could understand. If all magic things disappear at midnight why didn't the shoe? Brandy faltered musically and charmingly. Why did she need to beg for her food? The songs were not rhythmic or outstanding. The musicality was Romper Room. The cast was spotting, representing and giving 100% but their identities kept them apart. Whitney was the special effect that never extinguished but she wasn't in it enough. Jason Alexander sucked. 13-Feb-2021

Tags: 1990s, Amiable, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Musical, Nostalgic, Relationships, Romance, Sap, Star Power, Star Watt, Timid, Writ Basic, Writ w/Possibilities

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13-Feb-2021


Wendy Williams: The Movie (2021) Whimper

Ciera Payton was too hollowed and untrained to lend craft to Wendy's huge persona. The accent. She got her Snookies confused with her Lavernes. The tits were great. Why didn't Ms. Payton lip synch to Wendy's real voice? Why didn't Ms. Williams just do it? Why not go balls out crazy and cast a man? That's gold. We tune in because it's grade A gossip but we know it's "fuck you" art. 31-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Camp, Celebrity, Crapfun, Cultural, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Preachy, Predictable, Reality, Relationships, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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31-Jan-2021


90 Day Fiance (2014-) Howl

If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.

Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Good Acting, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Social Media, Tacky, Tough, Travel, World

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19-Jan-2021


Hollywood (2020-) Whimper

Hollywood magic starts in bed.

A propaganda film correcting past inequalities by imposing modern thoughts and politics into the mouth of history.

It preaches incessantly because we can no longer be inspired by people's lives as they lived it but how we now prefer it. (Good change comes when we learn from past mistakes, not when we erase them.)

Diversity exists as a pulpit, never integrating or understanding their purpose. Brother and sister needed to bring the humility, homework and incandescence that would compel us to believe they deserve the success they aspire to. Ms. Wong (Michelle Krusiec) completed her homework.

Rock Hudson, Vivien Leigh and Tallulah Bankhead portrayals. The ginormity of man beauty that was the Rock, is diminished when his facsimile stands shoulder to shoulder with Mira Sorvino and when he portrays him like a dork. Vivien was a cartoon transformer shifting from beauty to accent in a manic state. She needed to be all of it. Tallulah is actually very simple to study. You watch her one hour episode of I Love Lucy and follow it up with Bette Davis in All About Eve, legitimizing her. Too busy, huh?

The film within a film seemed abysmal.

I found it offensive that a black woman was portraying a white woman's life. It's like a man portraying a trans.

Free rein to rearrange is exciting only if it follows the rules of its generation. 03-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, History, Insulting, Manipulation, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Repetitive, Sap, Star Watt, Static, Talk, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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03-May-2020


Safe Harbour (2018-) Woof

Would you save a life if you think it puts you in jeopardy? It gripped and swerved evenly between the privileged and the do goodness, accentuating all the flaws, the heart and the life balancing we all endure. Each wields power that the new world has entitled them to but misconception, anxiety and unburdening (through violence) keep manifesting the elephant in the room...stereotyping to get a point across or to do more harm...to run away from it for as long as the effect is not needed.

It loses two moons because it ended with everyone getting a car and it feels the threat was for naught. The ending is a whimper. Life has consequences. 08-Feb-2020

Tags: Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Revenge, Sap, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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08-Feb-2020


American Music Awards (2019) No MoonsEarly Exit

I have no words... 25-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Awards, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Celebrity, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Drag, Early Exit, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fatigue, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Out of Place, Pitchy, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Psychological, Religious Fanaticism, Repetitive, Sap, Showy, Shrill Act, Supremacism, Talk, Tedium, Warbly

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25-Nov-2019


Raising Dion (2019-) ArfUpgradeWoof

I delighted in Jason Ritter finally putting those asshole tics to use but the upgrade was for mama. No superhero is flying around her house until she says so! 22-Nov-2019
When mama discusses the mental incarceration of racism to a son that's becoming physically stronger, my negative comments became obliterated. The writers ventured to give us a modern mama willing to be sensitively honest with her child and equip him for life's challenges. Respect. 20-Oct-2019
A subject worth exploring in a culture historically evaded. It moves better when it tightens the reins but it's self awareness, interspersed soundtrack along with sprinkles of bleeding sap, drain it. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Almost, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Drama, Juvenile, Overcooked, Representing, Sap, Static, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Nov-2019


Let It Snow (2019) Arf

Christmas teen puff. Everything is safe and unrealistic, its sole purpose, to make us feel good. Like most holidays, it's the music that lingers. 18-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Preachy, Predictable, Pretty, Relationships, Sap, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid

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18-Nov-2019


Little Mermaid Live, The (2019) Whimper

The detail I most remember from "The Little Mermaid," was how her hair moved. If you can't establish an artistic craft to convey that, the art is lost. She flew when she needed to swim.

My treasure list:

I haven't seen so much visible invisible wire since "I Love Lucy." Decorating them might have helped

The octaves were lower than the crowd cheer. Amplification was a problem

A hologram of the improbable fish might have sufficed instead of plastic muppets

Graham Philips proved a singing alpha as Auli'i Cravalho expressed hard work

John Stamos' cook was destined to fail even if he had done it in a thong

Shaggy was feeling the beat but something spooked him and he started whispering

You shouldn't stumble. Even a shark shows grace underwater

Having the cartoon enact emotions whilst the live mostly sang is lazy

The deed was cast. The commercial for a beloved classic was born because they knew that after this, we'd flee to the original material. Magic! 08-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Animate, Brutal, Camp, Classic, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Maddening, Musical, No Acting, No Chemistry, Out of Place, Overcooked, Predictable, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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08-Nov-2019


90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Tell All (2019) Woof

The silences were as creepy as the perjury. The individuals allowed the worst to happen to them because they misconstrued social media's message of full acceptance. When danger is involved, you allow mental clarity to check in not ask it to make you blind. It was an unintentional Halloween special that intrigued and horrified with no special thought. We yelled at the screen but they didn't listen. Everyone knows that Cinderella marrying Shrek is bad. 21-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Cowboy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Safety, Sap, Scary, Sexist, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Talk, Travel, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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21-Oct-2019




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