TV Posts Tagged as 'Sex'
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Ultimatum, The (2024)
I get anxious whenever I hear Sandy's voice. She sounds like a spoiled housewife with a lozenge stuck in her throat and her reasoning for everything is ludicrous. I was disappointed that the Lacheys did not comfort Nick for having strong feelings about Sandy's infidelity. She claims that her and JR only kissed twice but cameras beg to differ. There were make-out sessions with extra cuddles under the sheets with no wet willies or stiff underwoods guaranteed and the bedbugs elicited the moans the cameramen thought they heard. Madame Web has spun her web and entrapped two gullible and dependent men in it. She is no victim. She likes them because they are not superheroes but think they are. I'm surprised the Lacheys didn't suggest JR whip out his dick for Nick (not Lachey) to suck. They humiliated that man mercilessly. Sandy brings out the toxic in me. TG it's almost over. Everything JR says is nonsense. Big men don't pretend they're on Fantasy Island on Max, don't want to get married but can't shut up about wanting it and oozes hostility when the jig is up. Is Zaina buying JR's love or paying for her exit? I still dig Caleb. He's the only one who tried to stand up to reason. His mystery deepens. He exists in his own little planet of misfit toys crashing onto earth. He acts like an over-chilled teen that mommy Mariah is afraid to disappoint because he will rebel and she'll have to have sex post relationship. When the original couples reunited it turned into a "how was school today, honey?" type scenario. After cashing in all the vouchers the producers promised them, every person was enlightened, the fairy tale is real, men never get woodies while cuddling, that bitch was not crying over her dog or JR, women are consumed by victimhood, asshole parents make asshole children who want to make more asshole children, the producers made them say that because 4 people thought the show was shit and this has been a turned-off season. 13-Dec-2024
Zaina and J.R. came to play. Neither has regard for the other or anybody else. Sandy came to annoy her lover and fuck hot shit. J.R. disrespected every man when he barred his fake wife from consoling her desperate husband after finding out their intimacy went too far. Morality clauses state that all couples must break up before embarking in new matrimony. Nick came to lose it, get free psychotherapy and nerve pills. Caleb's mellow puts me in a trance and it's why I presume Mariah is well-spoken but blank. He turns them into robots. He's sexy until he starts re-programming you. He turned Aria into a Stepford. 4 people woke up and realized the madness of The Lacheys and abruptly departed like in the island of Dr. Moreau. Exactly how many other people did the Lacheys fuck to realize they belong together? After the contestants departed the show became insecure and gave us more of what we didn't want. J. R. and Sandy's horny gas lighting. I want to fuck them both and hand them over to Pazuzu for some lady cement and calf extensions. You bet I'd watch the porn tape, but make no mistakes these aren't marrying candidates. They want to get married so they can pretend to be happy whilst performing diabolical sexual acts on others. J.R. and Sandy deserve most unfeeling humans honors. Nick should have been given an ultimatum, to cruise establishments that cater to singles and find another match or the experiment is over for the whore. "J.R., please remove your dick from my future wife's face." 08-Dec-2024
Love Is Blind (2020-)
I hope Ramses gets to keep his balls. He didn't know that keeping your balls was part of the experiment. I hope Ashley wakes up from reality and the added expense she has taken on. Keep fucking Tyler but don't give him a kid. Oh and film it. Surrogate, my ass. 23-Oct-2024
Marissa's mother summed everything up. "If you hurt my bitch daughter I will cut your balls off." It's a misnomer to think that love isn't hurt when that's all love is. Yes, we are going to love, fuck it up, change our minds, get the yucks, find others attractive, cheat, maybe, doubt, feel, die, get sick, get better, repeat ourselves, transition, evolve and escape. A thin Hannah on TV sounds like a horrific thing. I think it is beneficial that Ramses switches team. Taylor and Garrett don't gel because they fit. Nick needs to win an award for "Most Tolerant Contestant Without Resorting to Violence." Ashley needs to fuck Tyler a few hundred times, film it, dump him and send the rushes to me. Alexandra and Tim. He needs an active model that isn't inflatable. 18-Oct-2024
I wanted to see more thigh, not this. The show fell and hit its head and a concussion was inevitable. There has to be a reason why Hannah is so popular. She scares me. Marissa's family had no business criticizing her fiancee's appearance without knowing him. Not only did the mother call her own daughter a bitch but she threatened Ramses with violence on national TV. Future bitch comparisons when they argue are forever. (I want to shave him so bad.) Nick, why doesn't your mustache connect to the beard? Tim was a disappointment. Not all squish is good and not all secrets are kosher. Stephen and Monica. Okay. This would have been the perfect occasion to bring flowers and a gift. 12-Oct-2024
S7E7. The vacation was a kindergartener's "first day" type of thing. The couples were blasted to la la land where the only dream that came true were worst case scenarios. The contestants dream so convincingly that it becomes a fake reality that doesn't prepare them for the future. Confidence is knowing where you're going no matter what stops you. Garrett shaved but I didn't notice a difference. Everything Hannah planned is working. She's there for the endgame. She didn't want her second choice but didn't allow her buddy to have him either. The key word was "shut up girl, it's none of your business." Leo deserves her. Monica. Ms. Plantation treats her husband like a butler. How does she stay so thin? She doesn't move. He gets everything for her. Everything but flowers and gifts because you can't show love without cash. She shushes him like a dog when she thinks it's her turn to talk. "Who's a good doggie?" What has she done to deserve gifts? Tim and Alex. I don't remember their tiff but it rang a huge alarm. She was off and listless. Marissa and Ramses. Somewhere in her sea of militarism was a hot dick, I'm sure. Why else talk about it incessantly? Why doesn't she just blowhorn into Ramses ear that he better be toxic or the fumes aren't happening. I wanted to invite Monica over to shush her. 11-Oct-2024
S7E6. The Lacheys provided an environment that would make the meekest male contestant undress. Hooray for us. Even though the hairier ones set off panic buttons, the men were all lovely and diverse. Ramses deserves a better backstory and a tremendous makeover. Representing a time not connected to us isn't cool. Stephen is a nice man awakening to nefarious deeds. I want a Tyler doll with clothes and without options and a reasonable licking rate. Tim is as shy as a butterfly. Nick D. is a gnome gone hot and it's hard to describe why. If men don't want to be used for their money, they shouldn't talk about it incessantly. "It's like he's asking for it. Should I take it, should I not? Is it impolite to refuse? Is it legal?" Leo equates success with love. His spidey legs are tingly with a drop of venom. Garrett is all smiles, ready to crack. Tim is the cutie with no thigh time and a future mama that doesn't know how to kiss his insecurities goodbye. Squish and water make for magnificent foreplay. Bohdan was the prettiest and most dangerous. 13-Mar-2024
Marriage Is Blind: Habibi (2024-)
The ladies voted and it was unanimous. The only traditions they want to uphold are the ones with parties. 19-Oct-2024
The men are all manmeat and the ladies are fantasy dolls. It's a dazzling community that does everything different because their transition is just a facade. Women are embracing it like the fable served to them by the universe that is rarely achieved. They want to be women of the now but the strength of man and family holds them down. They can only look the part. The men gain might by sticking to traditions that don't assist either sex in marriage. She roams his castle in chains. He roams the town tying females up. They are not allowed kissing, fondling or co-habitation which suffices for an interesting working vacation but not love. The sexes fall in love at a rapid pace. They have a script written and they're going to play it out no matter the expense. Jealousy is a big thing because they're always horny and there is always another Barbie or Ken to fantasize about. A man demands that his future wife not be a dancer, a Barbie treated her fiancee like she was being paid, women have a better sense of identity than men, women want to fly and men only want to fly a kite. There is fun to be had when the ladies awaken and the men get spit upon. Educational incredulity in a very nice package. 18-Oct-2024
Perfect Couple, The (2024)
S1E5. Is it really a choreographed dance sequence if we hardly see the legs of the dancers moving? I can get children to do that in their high chairs. Liev Schreiber's character hit a sour note when he sang, became vain for no apparent reason and he sang again, at the beach because the script ran out of words. He's either miscast, or yucking it up. When Lady Nic was in the kitchen talking to the Blunt chick, her marker indicated she was talking to her from our right but she was to the left. Who was Nic talking to? The script was so thin I could only zip through the words. Direction had no perception as to what people need as opposed to what they want. I didn't care for the victim. She spoke on a platform instead of speaking from the heart. 10-Sep-2024
S1E4. It follows its previous achievement like a spiritual intervention. Lady Nic sparkles but has little action. Eve Hanson is an Emily Blunt snoop. I don't understand why she would have liberty to expose private family pieces. Of course, Scooter can come on me bucketfuls but why is he there? Dakota is livening up and I like it. Benji chose to become Frankenstein over Dracula because he knew his monster only liked girls. Liev Scrheiber fits a sexual attraction but not a breathing husband. Subjects are limited, the wait is cumbersome, it's going to cheat but Lady Nic looked Barbie doll great. 08-Sep-2024
Love Is Blind Mexico (2024)
In some cases it has to be. Neither sex display longevity skills.
She: Can he afford rent?
He: please be fuckable.
She: I lied in the pods about the quantity of children I have. Will he still babysit?
He: I hope she doesn't smell.
She: how dare you!
When my mind drifted I visualized an even faster and tackier method of hooking up. A gloryhole. The boys stick it in whatever sounds good and whichever female produces first will officially get married on live TV. The contestants are bold and calculating. I've endured 3 proposals and I'm not even done with ep. 2. Man cannot control woman unless he marries her. 11-Aug-2024
House of Heat (2024-)
They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024
Boys, The (2019-)
Besides the maestro, Starlight's rejuvenation was my favorite thing. 22-Jul-2024
Homefucker took twitch to its ultimate, grew from it and became remarkable. Someone invited Smirk to the party so he can curse it? He's still smirking away and sounding like a condescending cunt. The twist befits him like a glove. Yes, I would submit to his gravelly words and old man charms. Is that all A-Train or are there other plastics involved? Nice. Mama's Milk has the right amount of daddy issues. Kimiko and Frenchie are still a power couple even though Frenchie has accent disabilities. Star watt. Starlight's abilities were stifled. The series made me realize that Karl Urban can be fun. Quaid can get away with a lot. Sage was waiting for this all her life and she's acing it. The Deep is reenacting some personal memories. Respect. There are stalling tactics that defy reason. The enemies keep bumping into each other but nobody keeps the promise to slaughter the other. One explanation should suffice. Nepo Homelander is sending Damien vibes. Anthony Starr has a grip on us. 12-Jul-2024
Twitch daddy twitch. 24-Jun-2022
The season belongs to daddy Homefucker. 24-Jun-2022
Shue clenches frustration devoutly, Starr chomps evil gleefully and the end punctuated surprisingly. 26-Aug-2019
Graduating superheroes to the next level...consequences. 17-Aug-2019
Perfect Match (2023-)
Finale. Nick rocked a shorts suit and I liked it. The stylist that decided to put long pants on Harry should've been reprimanded. Mama mia worked extra shifts so as not to return home to her daughter. I think I know why I made my GI Joe Kaz a bottom. Bryton won the thigh competition and a motorboat invitation. If Nigel were a GI Joe I would play with him. Izzy's date with Jessica consisted of him being an upside down Spider-Man dripping sweat down her throat. It all went downhill fast. He came to life at the party and looked like an adorable in shorts and white socks. Prince Eric tried to convince the voters that he was in love with his mermaid. She wasn't just a catch. The mermaid was caught off guard and sounded even phonier. The contestants voted with their hearts and surprised everyone. It had an I hate you all vibe. 22-Jun-2024
Hot diggity damn, Nick! Full shots of hunky men sitting in shorts while confessing, was priceless. Nick was naughty. Jess is so independent that she can raise her daughter without ever being seen. Harry. Why do men always have to explain themselves? Harry kept repeating Jess' daughter's name like he knew her for years so she would believe him and fall in love. "Jess, fuck his brains out until he can't walk but do not bring him home." All Harry wants is a luxurious leg massage and to be reminded of how beautiful they are. The men stood up for themselves by being quiet. The girls fought amongst their own with no perfect match to support them. When Kaz decided to sample, I understood his psychology. Beauty belongs to everyone. Perfect match should see him alone at toga parties. The blonde with the tresses and the big eyes looks like Emma Stone. Prince Eric's mindset lacked etiquette and consideration. A shark. Izzy did his best. He sort of memorized the producer's script and there were cue cards everywhere he looked but dude couldn't stop being awkward. I still dig the face. 15-Jun-2024
I always returned G.I. Joe Kaz to his manly state. Even though I washed the make-up off there were shadows. The moment Pazuzu noticed, G.I. Joe Kaz mysteriously disappeared. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2-5. Harry was not stirring my pot until I noticed his thigh to leg ratio. I boiled, my lid began to shake, float and rise. I noticed that there was a lot of that. It almost repaired my soul. When Jessica confessed to having a child, Harry asked where she was. Exactly! We've seen more of Jessica than her daughter has. Prince Eric from an off-broadway production of The Little Mermaid was returned to sea many times but somebody always rescued him. Fuck, I'd probably rescue him too if he didn't talk. I will ask no questions before night, night and I need to call him Eric. The sea is full of mermaids. My other G.I. Joe doll looked like Kaz. He was a soldier in green combats. I tore up his uniform, created a wig out of his undershirt, painted his face and made G.I. Joe Nick fuck the shit out of him. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2. Ack! 08-Jun-2024
S2E1. We don't watch Izzy because of the way he talks, we just want to lick him and squish him. Izzy hooked up with a goddess, it took him 23 minutes to finish. He spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom and three minutes convincing her it would be good for her career. Nick almost lifted his skirt. Thighs for a later episode? Boy, he's got some daddy legs. Nice. He looked like one of the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid but shinier. Some cocky dink bragged that he was gifted a cookie for providing a great fuck. Dude, I got a whole house and did nothing! Stevan's tattoos were more aggressive than he was. The soft boys were being traded for angry chokesters they can't control. Women have permission to be promiscuous if they sign off on it. 08-Jun-2024
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023
Supersex (2024)
All not given but wanted will become a superpower because the less blessed will feed it. Rocco was gifted with looks, a power dick and a drive that kept him crashing but getting back up. The series steers from controversial shenanigans and turns it into a comic book of male and female fantasies. Alessandro Borghi is Rocco as soon as the light hits him. The support did good work. A woman's point of view mattered. It stalls getting to Siffredi's porn king era. The gay friendship involved no free blowjobs or looksies. Really? The love story was a sad emoticon and the realization was astonishing because what makes you, breaks you. 10-Apr-2024
Love Is Blind (2020-)
Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy, I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.
If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont easily glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a big fat dick. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it, but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023
Program, The (2024)
Religious parents are the worst thing to ever happen to teenagers. 08-Mar-2024
Trust (2024-)
Finale. It was almost cute. 26-Jan-2024
Trusting strangers, we do it everyday. We have to trust someone for aid to move on. There's a brilliant game to be played but the show hasn't figured it out, yet. Boo, for making the hottest beast walk the plank first-time around. Another remains but he's an asshole. Millionaire got shut out of the villa's bubble and trapped in a snow globe for admitting how privileged he is. Poor thing. Unless he's a plant, it's a chilly thing. The girls and boys huddled with their own. The men were obliged to let aggression lead. The women can't do like men. They have to group and wheedle down as they see fit. They have their eye on a fellow contestant whose skillset includes a seduction of the only man worth fucking. It's ghastly. That white boy celebrated someone's heritage by annoying them with it. The old lady is a Platinum Karen. I hope the producers tip them towards their last nerve. 11-Jan-2024
Hell Camp: Teen Nightmare (2023)
Family revolt begins as soon as babies reach understanding. Parents are at their wits end because their babies are enjoying sex, drugs, jail, theft and hating them (for lying about everything.) The parents become fearful because when they did it to them they were babies. An influential is selling a solution. Bootcamp for kids. Parents will do anything to get someone else to parent their children. The influencer gains recognition and success but complaints about child abuse keep arising. The kids face death, rape, torture and negligence. The director keeps it focused on specific victims but I was ready for more. They treated the influencer as a beloved comic book villain with a billion likes. Everybody made the assumption that a man that tricks his way through life never intended things to go as far as they did and he didn't rape that child. It was the cream. He slid. Parents lay blame on everyone but themselves. They tipped the human scale by not trying the boot camp first. You can't solve a family problem with only one member. 30-Dec-2023
Gen V (2023)
The finale entered the Buffyverse and maintained its excellence. The massacre was surprisingly joyful. Creativity was active. The newbies accomplished. We like them, even the evil ones. 03-Nov-2023
I felt yesteryear's essence. When access is limited, you shoot for the heart. Creating superheroes with limitations makes them more susceptible to bleeding. Hurt is the crux of the Superworld because it is in every other world.The series mind-blows and sets the future of comicbook heroes by having heart, progressive CGI and identifiable respect. 22-Oct-2023
Fall Of House Of Usher, The (2023)
I understood the excuses but I didn't get the obscurity. The finale was a realization of how much of a merry-go-round the production put us through. The Final Destination kills should have ascended from that. When you add magic to horror it teeters on fanto realism. It made my head overload...with questions. Where was Lenore when daddy redecorated her mother's room? She asks to see her mom 5 days later? I believe one of the Dupin's got taller? Bless you, Sir Hamill. Once his character clicks we look forward to seeing him again. The mumbo jumbo accommodated what was easiest for the storytellers. The merry go round speeds up, there are few surprises but the cast and dialogue are superb. What fabulous creature is Gugino's character supposed to be? Is Pinhead her boss? I hope it's the girl one. 21-Oct-2023
SE5. There are so many crisp performances to marvel at. The story captivates but the horror aspect diminishes it. Whenever he gets a vision, we realize how the next victim will die. Stretching the story doesn't mean much if it once ended up in the trash because it contained too much information. The flashbacks are served nilly willy. The saboteur has no meaning but I love her. Poe's themes are observed but not acknowledged. When a creator succumbs to the title of the story he is manipulating things to fit not click. 20-Oct-2023
S1E2. Succession musical score adaptation is too blatant and soon to describe rich family hierarchy. The actors play it well but the characters are as interchangeable as their sexual proclivities. The scares are great ideas that are poorly executed. The mother's beginning is a testament of that. It should be scary but it's not, it didn't grip or create empathy. Flanagan name drops everything but the art he's pilfering. The story does not flatter Gugino and her character is beyond mysterious. I heard Hamill do a Joker laugh and I was amused. Flanagan still hasn't figured out how to shoot in the dark. The admirable parts are the ones created by accident. 19-Oct-2023