TV Posts Tagged as 'Sex'
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Love Is Blind (2020)

S5. There is a thigh jedi in the house. He's too good to be true. He keeps forcing smiles, though. Is someone buzzing him? His to be is a spoiled princess that wants old fashioned notions and female empowerment in a man. There is something he's not telling that is screaming to come out. The father-in-law expressed a gangster threat with a blessing. Whenever the princess emotes he starts eating the insides of his mouth. When they were in the kitchen arguing about how poor he's going to become, I thought he was going to eat right through and damage his beautiful face with a hole. In bed one night, he almost eyerolled his assignment/princess but caught himself in time. When a man says he wants a woman to wear no makeup. He wants her to be a little girl. That's the reason women wear makeup, to distinguish themselves from their daughters, so daddy doesn't take a special interest in them. It's like fucking another woman. Uche is making it known that Lydia is a stalker with a big mouth, doesn't allow much breathing room and has a suspicious mama. I think Uche proved himself wrong by stalking three females throughout the show. 17-Apr-2023
Deep Fake Love (2023-)

S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023
Love Is Blind (2020)

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:
OrgU: I'm losing it brother
ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)
OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)
Slap!!!
Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!
The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023
Perfect Match (2023-)

Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023
Love Is Blind (2020)

The thigh king made a slight return and nobody thought to make the reunion a pool party. The eye king also made a return to apologize to his foreign partner for being wildly attractive. Trust no man who proposes a second time like you didn't hear him the first. A girl with no mothering capabilities surmised that her children will be small because her husband's dick is. Brennon's game is not wholesome. 15-Feb-2023
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022
Winter House (2021-)

S2E3. Luke is banished for having sexual thoughts about a girl that mentally promised him a blowjob. Women are warriors and baby factories, not sexual beings. That's what the LGBTQ community is for. Paige allows her lover to go bonkers because he would dump her for being a disobedient slut. Dumping the asshole would be female empowerment. Oooh, Kyle has love handles. He's squishy. Yum. I bet both sides taste like butterscotch. Kory is looking for a relationship that will adorn him in pearls. I know of a few straight men that can pretend to be his uncle. 13-Jan-2023
Love Never Lies (2021-) 

MENTIRA! 12-Dec-2022
S2E5. Pretty Jesus was punished for finding a tighter pussy than his partner. Partner was blindsided with pretty short dick distractions. Backsies. Guess who has to give up what? Bitch! That is a twice in a ifetime, unless you're a pervert, but still. 10-Dec-2022
S2E4. The producers segregated the relationships from their would be or were one night stands. The other half got a preview of Casa de Fuck through a taste test. A blindfolded gay was relieved to feel a man instead of a boy. He only tastes like a boy, we think he's a girl. Poor thing. They found a chick that would allow pretty Jesus to come instantaneously inside of. A lesbian had to watch as her man hating partner was fooled into admitting to a football team of straight fucks. They set up the short guy with a woman willing to trade size for half a crucifixion. The bizarro stud with the Clark Kent glasses is getting turned on by his wife's infidelities. 09-Dec-2022
S2E3. The hostess with the mostest is still most. The new climate soars like desperation for attention and a warning that fairy tale relationships are doomed. A gay partner appeared to pretend that he didn't know that gays "prioritize" cheating in their relationships. He was just mad because they brought him a girly boy but his lover, a man. A breath taker with astounding legs is trying to turn a lesbian into an everything bagel. A couple is hooking up with another couple's partner. Double the doom. A cheated upon wailed like an animal. I've never heard that sound before. Pretty Jesus is consistently crucified by the women in his life. His wife had choices and his one night stand couldn't stand him. Short cis men are the most insecure because giants are on every woman's shopping list. The only thing stopping a partner from cheating is a lack of mutual sexual attraction and nothing more. 07-Dec-2022
AHS: NYC (2022)

It stayed true to tradition and didn't end with a bang because they yucked it up with mumbo jumbo. Ryan and Co. are gone, lets' show them what we can do. Everything except reigning it in. Add a little magic over here, irony over there and a preach or two around the corner. Charlie Carver's observations as a writer allowed him to present real gay dilemmas. That's a great contribution. The ladies brought depth, strength and full watt. The Brian De Palma glow, was class. Art shouldn't have to explain itself, though. It just is. 04-Dec-2022
Ryan & Co. serve enough gay meat to feed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The stories intertwine nicely. Gay is not what it's cracked up to be. We live life waiting for our perversions to be rewarded. It never happens. I have to disagree with the politically correct's hate towards cops. In my day there were good cops and bad cops, like Jedis. A lot of the time, the good cop was gay. I am thankful for that. You almost want to look away every time that smart begins a story because a shitty end awaits it. Russell Tovey peaks our interest with egg-shaped ears, ass encapsulation and making it overwhelmingly and illegitimately hard to listen to a foreign accent without cumming. Zachary Quinto is wolfy and orgasmic. Charlie Carver epitomizes an innocent victim. Joe Mantello is the kind of daddy you want to breathe a moment of life into. Isaac Cole Powell is a body you can only dream about. I know they are going to fuck it up but I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride. 25-Oct-2022
Insiders (2021)

Future homeless are secured in a glass house to compete in an experiment that has them auditioning to win money and fame. Nothing is what it seems. The actors are award winning, the contestants are frantic and the host is a delicacy. The cruelty is unbelievable. Reactions from participants are placed above their mental health. I questioned the point of the experiment. Did it want to show us how maladjusted all representation is? Are we all to blame for life's fallacies? They make you think, kill, fuck, fake, think, kill, cry, fuck, fake, rage. When emotions run high we get to see the kind of homeless they will become. The producers' fuckery is set to get inside our heads by inhabiting media stereotypes. Yo, I think it works. It's a Ring type thing. Once you watch it your cells start to die. But the host is so fabulous and I want to see more pocket daddy legs. Yeah, I'm fucked. 24-May-2022
Ex On The Beach (2014-) 

It's uncomfortable watching gay boys creeping on girls. A woman has no safety zones. We end up feeling sorry for her and hating him. My generation was very proud of its identification and it's preference. We had an unwritten contract. The point of being gay was to retire vagina. This generation confuses itself. It confuses me. It confuses everybody. 17-May-2022
S5E2. Love means having to say you're sorry, a lot. The only thing holding a black woman down is her cheating membrane of a boyfriend. Are ragers who splash people with drinkable liquids pool owners? This asshole wants to know. Bisexuals proved synonymous with hypocrisy. A gay preference disguised as an accident is no reason to fuck up a trans life. Trans needs a do over. We've already established that wet dog dos are out. A man pretending to be more than a bisexual is a pervert who fucks little children. 10-Apr-2022
S4E12. The only people stopping gays from advancing is other gays. Imagine if other gays didn't exist. How happy we'd all be. Adore's ex compared her smell to a llama. I was supposed to insert an inappropriate joke but since I'm not officially a comedian, I looked it up to be sure. They have no odor and you can make beans out of their poop. They're always lying down and won't crap in bed or on the bus. Ok. Why does the ex have the smell of a llama memorized? Does he fuck them? What a day old bagel. The mini bagel had a Superman ex try to sweep her off her feet and away from Joker except all she saw was Two-Face. Half of his face was gorgeous. The everything bagel got fucked when his bagel fell on the floor for more than five-seconds and three people tried to eat it. Just for fun, the lesbian is a toasted bagel with lox and extra cheese. 09-Apr-2022
S4E10. Wow, the guy with the fake piano teeth made it. How can you resist the "I'm going to break your heart and fuck your pussy" swag? The cis man considers LGBTQ the handmaidens of sex. Promise the alpha good sex and he'll treat you like a handmaiden. Is the lesbian legal? The black "everything bagel" jock will be exposing his dick like a trophy to babies in a future verse. If we're going to teach sex ed in schools we should commence with a speech on how everybody is going to cheat on your fucking ass because you will probably suck at sex or snore. 08-Apr-2022
S4E1. Chronicling the lives of loser exes on a frozen beach. The producers found men that would risk their straight asses for love. Transvestites, drag queens and lesbians unite. The lesbian is granted male toxicity status because her big dick is plastic. A white man got all Will Smith when he noticed his black compatriot with a piano keys mouth. He is going to slap the fakeness out of them. 06-Apr-2022
Ultimatum, The (2022) 


Reunion. How did Nick Lachey get so pink? He looks like fried pork. I love fried pork. Sweet and sour and a dash of soy sauce. Yum. Vanessa disguises her witchcraft well. I'm almost beguiled. I get it. He's almost to the point where he doesn't remember Marvel movies. Take all his money and drop out of the hemisphere. Pregnancies are the pathway to a cheating man's heart. "He aint fucking no raptor in lingerie. No Way!" Why do bisexuals keep sneaking around? It's 2022. Are they perverts? Someone came out as a lesbian and I guessed it because the curls in her hair stopped bouncing. I knew there was something askew. Beautiful giants need to stop raging on women that record them doing what giants were born to do. It's not a giant's fault that women aren't with it. Lesbians need to stop pretending they like small cocks on giant men. Braids on a man never looked more Groot. Pretty other thing got criticized on national TV for not keeping his mate from going full lesbian. Dude, that's rough. He's so pretty. Love is the easiest thing to replace, just close your eyes...and wish it bigger. Gigolos will appear with free tickets to nowhere. 16-Apr-2022
S1E1. The quickest way to get your partner to acquiesce to children and marriage is to dump them. Works every time. They don't need to go on a stupid reality show. Isn't that what the Lacheys stated at the beginning of the show? 11-Apr-2022
Pam & Tommy (2022)

Bad karma comes for a goddess sexually devoured by a demon. Tommy Lee was gifted with hand coordination, skinny genes, okay face, crazy hair, insecurity tattoos and a large dick. He's drying out and she's washing ashore. Little daddy has dickish ways that compels people to put him on a "do not disturb" list. Sebastian Stan finds his inner asshole. He plays a dickilicious horndog like a thespian. I wanted to lick every inch of his physical imperfections. Lily James was aware that Pamela Anderson was a gullible and bubble headed person because that is how the writers conceived her. Stan and James are fun, rock underwear looks a lot like gay underwear, the appendage was stupid and inaccurate, when it talked it got smaller and none of Seth Rogen's shenanigans seemed feasible. He's still a funny fucker though. Gutter white trash with money, beauty, some talent and porn tapes. Karma ate them up for enjoying sex. 24-Feb-2022
Floribama Shore (2017-)

James Corden is still trying to break into big time TV. Good accent though. Gus with the luscious hair demonstrated how naughty he can get with a male sexual client. Dreamy blowjobs? Bizarro Superman tried fucking Gus with his little rock dick but Gus complained it didn't complete his fantasy. He was kicked out of the fortress of solitude, where everything was easy, free and resentful. Bumblebee stirred some fights but was defeated by hillbillydom. Aimee is Ruth from Ozark wishing for something that aint going to happen to happen. Nilsa is the mother of ignorance ready to pop as soon as her boyfriend stops accommodating her. 12-Feb-2022
Love Never Lies (2021-)

S1E7. Tall pretty stick accused the game of being rigged when the technology caught him lying. Hostess Divine pulled out a bullwhip and turned his stallion cock into a puppy's. You don't fuck with mama or Netflix shows. You cheating asshole. Most everyone pretended it was a vacation where lying and misconduct gets forgotten. Love exists because we need it to, not because it is. 14-Dec-2021
S1E6. Unmasking love is seeing a most ugly bitch. 13-Dec-2021
S1E2. These fuckers are serious. They bank money when they tell the truth. Amounts are deducted for lies. The game has separated the partners into two groups. Villa Panic Attack gets to watch their mates finagle temptation in Whore Villa. To keep the alone group in a state of anxiety our divine hostess shows them a video of their partner intermingling with exes, stalkers and professionals. After gaining their interest she seduces them into watching a prime video that contains the nasty stuff. But, it will cost them. The gays are sad. The heeled one is living a fantasy with a man who doesn't care. His partner tried itemizing the men he sexually stalked online but he couldn't count that high. He was giddy from the twink they hired to give him hope. The alone partner gets to watch the videos with their housemates. Reactions are perceptive. They call out the bullshit, cry over confessions, make cute funny, rally around the broken hearted and rage at the whores. 03-Dec-2021
S1E1. Lying whores compete to tell the truth, stop fucking and prove to their partners they are worthy. Mental breakdowns in paradise. A tall pretty stick gave his partner a panic attack by lying three times after one question, the gays always lie when confronted with the truth, a boyfriend fessed to not getting aroused by his girlfriend's paraglider fashion and the hostess is creepily divine. I'm in. 02-Dec-2021
Legend Of Lizzie Borden, The (1975)

A document of what may have occurred in a family downed by a favorite daughter. The film has a "Carrie" vibe that suits it. It mixes courtroom drama with home hysterics. Elizabeth Montgomery was all witch with only a hint of Samantha. The film was moderate with details and motives. You get the idea but not the full package. Elizabeth kept the film rolling with gestures suggesting things that weren't written and being an unappreciated force. Katherine Helmond was a sister witch with serene class. Fritz Weaver was a super-daddy warlock. I don't understand why his wife looked like a maid. The movie needs a clean-up, the performances don't. 06-Dec-2021