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Perfect Couple, The (2024) ArfDowngradeBitesEarly Exit

S1E5. Is it really a choreographed dance sequence if we hardly see the legs of the dancers moving? I can get children to do that in their high chairs. Liev Schreiber's character hit a sour note when he sang, became vain for no apparent reason and he sang again, at the beach because the script ran out of words. He's either miscast, or yucking it up. When Lady Nic was in the kitchen talking to the Blunt chick, her marker indicated she was talking to her from our right but she was to the left. Who was Nic talking to? The script was so thin I could only zip through the words. Direction had no perception as to what people need as opposed to what they want. I didn't care for the victim. She spoke on a platform instead of speaking from the heart. 10-Sep-2024
S1E4. It follows its previous achievement like a spiritual intervention. Lady Nic sparkles but has little action. Eve Hanson is an Emily Blunt snoop. I don't understand why she would have liberty to expose private family pieces. Of course, Scooter can come on me bucketfuls but why is he there? Dakota is livening up and I like it. Benji chose to become Frankenstein over Dracula because he knew his monster only liked girls. Liev Scrheiber fits a sexual attraction but not a breathing husband. Subjects are limited, the wait is cumbersome, it's going to cheat but Lady Nic looked Barbie doll great. 08-Sep-2024

Tags: 2020s, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Elegance, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Grating, Lifestyle, Mystery, Pitchy, Preposterous, Relationships, Sex, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Wit Crack, Writ Basic, Writ Thin

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10-Sep-2024


Accidente (2024) Arf

It rivets early but the cast kept chugging. An accident occurs that tests the strength of several families. Intriguing twists kept me interested. The fault of the accident was misfortune. The actors appeared hired from mysterious little black books. All fuckable. Charro should get an award for making toes curl. That gorgeous motherfucker. I noticed mexicans have perkier asses than other boys. I couldn't find a flat ass. Even the little ass was perky. The story didn't know when to quit and cash in their chips. It became melodramatic and telenovela centric. The players pulled their weight but gravity matter ignored them. The story became too coincidental to explain. It over reached. Fun was had and some surprises worked but the teapot wasn't hot enough to make tea. 03-Sep-2024

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Foreign, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Lifestyle, Mystery, Revenge, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Spanish, Star Watt, Sweet Dick Energy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tight

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03-Sep-2024


Love Is Blind Mexico (2024) WhimperEarly Exit

In some cases it has to be. Neither sex display longevity skills.

She: Can he afford rent?

He: please be fuckable.

She: I lied in the pods about the quantity of children I have. Will he still babysit?

He: I hope she doesn't smell.

She: how dare you!

When my mind drifted I visualized an even faster and tackier method of hooking up. A gloryhole. The boys stick it in whatever sounds good and whichever female produces first will officially get married on live TV. The contestants are bold and calculating. I've endured 3 proposals and I'm not even done with ep. 2. Man cannot control woman unless he marries her. 11-Aug-2024

Tags: 2020s, Drama, Early Exit, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Lifestyle, Reality, Romance, Sex, Shrill Act, Stupid Funny, Weird

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11-Aug-2024


Love Island UK (2019-) BitesUpgrade

Women are pursuing these motherfuckers because there is a cash prize at the end, correct? I don't remember Reuben. There was nothing to latch onto. Josh must choose to be blacker or whiter. Yes, I had a doll that looked like Blade. Hugo combs his hair in reverse. I bet Konnor is a fantastic one nighter. Will must be hung. Joey is a doll. Sean is Jimmy Oleson. Ayo, we pray for you. I would have barbecued Trey like he was a lobster. Moziah reeks of beauty and nature. Ciaran has too many identities going on. 11-Jul-2024

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Foreign, From Another Planet, Fun Acting, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Manipulation, NSFW, Over the Top, Overcooked, Preachy, Predictable, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Safety, Scary, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Static, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Basic, Writ Funny

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29-Jul-2024


House of Heat (2024-) Arf

They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Crapfun, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Horror, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Politics, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Basic

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29-Jul-2024


Ultimatum: South Africa (2024-) Arf

I don't know if the individuals were breaking the rules or there were none. By episode 3 almost all the strangers hooked up, in one way or another. Some went all the way and others were inconclusive. One girlfriend cheated because she couldn't feel her husband's penis inside her. TG she found a cocky asshole to fill her side panels. Their partners were embarrassed and gaslighted. The white couple seemed out of sorts. She probably had a fantasy of trying a black man that he went along with because it stalled marrying her. She partnered with a horny boy who kept begging for it. White boy was partnered with a sad woman that had no idea why her boyfriend was enjoying the experience and lying about it whilst she was stuck with a white boy. The goldigger had every reason to want a real man with money and the men had every right to dump her. Men ask that a woman be respectful, a cook, attentive, a womb, a slut and someone that believes everything he tells her. They want to impregnate them so they can enjoy, at least, six months of guilt-free cheating because they need to fuck and they don't want to hurt the baby. I imagined Nick stuttering and Vanessa fainting at the reunion. It would have been hilarious. Book them tickets! 15-May-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lifestyle, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, World

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16-May-2024


Baby Reindeer (2024) BitesEarly Exit

S1E1. It blew me away like someone rejecting sex, with a wave of their hand. True stories don't have to try so hard. The ingredients were flame broiled and the tiny portions of reality chicken were blended. Ms Gunning enacted the written word but could not inflect a believable, funny or endearing persona. Did Gadd concoct an Amytiville or is he telling it wrong? Either way, the errors were enormous. I understood the first greet and meet because he felt sorry for her. By the second day it would take me five minutes to realize this is no good. I definitely wouldn't comp her another drink that she doesn't drink. (Wrong! Big people always thirsty.) He comped her throughout their relationship. I presume it came out of his till. I'd have as little interaction with her as possible and give her polite social distance. Gadd got everything he deserved for having a life that anyone could steal. He flirted and sexually harassed his tormentor because he thought it was funny and sane. That stuff only works on the internet, not face to face. The makers don't want us to ponder who any of the real people are because they don't exist? Even though some random looked her up in 1995 and obtained her life history? Is he a stalker+? Did he used to be fat? And maybe, that too!? He's suspicious and not funny, at all. 25-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Showy

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25-Apr-2024


Ripley (2024-) Whimper

Johnny Flynn did not make me understand why anybody would envy Dickie's life enough to steal it. Dakota Fanning was misused. She never really progressed past her harsh demeanor. She needed the director to shake the professionalism out of her. She was supposed to be the heart and the meat of the story but there was little proof the character had any. I would have air horned her when she couldn't say Dickie with a straight face. Why were the details so repetitive and why did I have to look up Caravaggio to understand what the killer was all about? Because, besides talking to dead people, it's complicated. Inspector Ravini added a shot of testosterone to the murky blunders. He was a beautiful respite from Ripley's underwhelming reactions. Unfortunately, the Lucy episode betrayed him. The idea that Scott could play both characters in front of an expert investigator, whilst sporting a goatee and messy hair and not get found out was a slap in the face of the entire investigation and series. Even Ricky wasn't that stupid. Ripley never got to spaz out. Bummer. Dickie was never pictured in the papers when they thought he was missing and when he was wanted for murder. The cops didn't go door to door with a picture of Dickie asking the hotel clerks if they've seen this man. Why? Woodbine showed up again for no reason other than to fill his quota. He also kept his eyes mostly closed. Comprehension did not seem feasible at that point. 19-Apr-2024
E5. You can't ask a fish to play a canine. Instead of using it's time to add depth to other characters it kept depending on only one artist. It is not feasible that a person of his character would return to the scene of the crime and less feasible that nobody would care. Details that read well were ignorantly distributed. I read the original book, was entertained by the film and remembered it wasn't this boring. 17-Apr-2024
E3. Of course I'm still mad that they didn't supply any crayons for the coloring book but papito's italian accent made up for it. He added finality to certain words and made them linger with musicality. I crinkled half the book joyously laughing. I pinched him and hugged myself. 16-Apr-2024
E2. I'm losing patience. It doesn't matter what spectrum an actor falls into, when asked to play a boy, they better act like one. 14-Apr-2024
E1. Black and white can be a statement, the past and or a representation. Schindler's List was black and white so the violence wouldn't be glamorized and the subject exploited. I have no idea why this interpretation needs to be in black and white. It's insurmountable misery. The ambience is french/italian movies from the 60's that bored or didn't easily make sense. It shouldn't be noir. Paper Moon? The Little Rascals? It's not Hitchcock. If the black participants hadn't kept their eyes open, I wouldn't have noticed them. I recognized Woodbine's name after the credits. Who did he play exactly? Yes, the shadow at the bar. The mystery sweeps, the movement is slow but the leads keep you interested.

(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Insulting, Lifestyle, Magnetism, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Tedium, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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19-Apr-2024


Supersex (2024) Arf

All not given but wanted will become a superpower because the less blessed will feed it. Rocco was gifted with looks, a power dick and a drive that kept him crashing but getting back up. The series steers from controversial shenanigans and turns it into a comic book of male and female fantasies. Alessandro Borghi is Rocco as soon as the light hits him. The support did good work. A woman's point of view mattered. It stalls getting to Siffredi's porn king era. The gay friendship involved no free blowjobs or looksies. Really? The love story was a sad emoticon and the realization was astonishing because what makes you, breaks you. 10-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Lifestyle, Magnetism, Nostalgic, Porn, Psychological, Romance, Sentimental, Sex, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Apr-2024


Dave Attell: Hot Cross Buns (2024) Whimper

The buns are stale. He admitted it in the beginning. There are no more late night eateries for the drunken night owl. It was his livelihood and his funny. Post it, he doesn't live it up much. 05-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Lifestyle, Nostalgic, Sentimental, Stand-Up, Timid, Unfunny

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05-Apr-2024


Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans (2024) Woof

The liberties taken grew gargantuan. Gus Van Sant's episodes were gliding and gripping. Naomi Watts had an emotional control that was lovely to watch. Diane Lane stole it like Joan Crawford in The Women. I'ver never seen her so alive. Watching Flockhart exercise her muscles was nostalgic. Demi did a lot with so little. Chloe Sevigny fit the part of the best friend that was only considered as such, only if she was doing them a favor. It's always a pleasure to see the legend but her role as Capote's mother should have been scrapped. The mother was an abusive monster. He wouldn't really consider her a best friend. Treat Williams acted like a dick and came off as one. Tom Hollander had a tight grip on the spiritual and physical persona of Capote. His performance was masterful. The ball went on for too long. The series repeated, stalled and stretched until the finale. The actors were stupendous, the ladies all beautiful and the setting, rich. The Baldwin episode was a preachy one with nothing to back it up. It inserts a black competitor in a part of history that didn't belong. The fun eeks out after the abused big boy child tries to chop all of the swans heads off for being like his mother. Women don't like that.

(I hope Andy Cohen's pigeons will one day, forgive him.) 09-Mar-2024

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Elegance, Fun Acting, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Pretty, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tough

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09-Mar-2024


Griselda (2024-) WoofUpgradeHowl

Actors can imitate, shadow or channel. The spirit of Griselda settled methodically into Sofia's lap and guided her. Sofia sent Sofia packing to become a woman with big ideas, deadly fallouts and constant misery. Sofia adds sexy beast to a woman who suffered for her imperfections. The woman who bested men used them for protection. The males were war and sex machines for the women who freed themselves from prostitution to commit worst crimes whilst using men as shields. The series served enough tension and thought-provoking arguments to whiz by without losing it's magic. Sofia was gangbang great. I never saw Sofia. I saw a 3D character. She stymied her accent and enunciated. She rocked fashion you can feel. She kicked ass like she's done it. Her attack dog was a beautiful thing and the support were menacingly good. A woman kills when she is angry, a man kills when he has to. 09-Feb-2024
S1E3. The lady is slashing tires like a fiery latina. Good girl. 08-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bio, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Lifestyle, Macho Posing, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Spanish, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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09-Feb-2024


Hell Camp: Teen Nightmare (2023) Arf

Family revolt begins as soon as babies reach understanding. Parents are at their wits end because their babies are enjoying sex, drugs, jail, theft and hating them (for lying about everything.) The parents become fearful because when they did it to them they were babies. An influential is selling a solution. Bootcamp for kids. Parents will do anything to get someone else to parent their children. The influencer gains recognition and success but complaints about child abuse keep arising. The kids face death, rape, torture and negligence. The director keeps it focused on specific victims but I was ready for more. They treated the influencer as a beloved comic book villain with a billion likes. Everybody made the assumption that a man that tricks his way through life never intended things to go as far as they did and he didn't rape that child. It was the cream. He slid. Parents lay blame on everyone but themselves. They tipped the human scale by not trying the boot camp first. You can't solve a family problem with only one member. 30-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Camp, Celebrity, Doc, Gay Swatch, Lifestyle, Psychological, Relationships, Revenge, Sex, Talk, Words Spoke

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30-Dec-2023


Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - ) Arf

The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir, I thought it was a beautiful thing. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Chemistry, Choices, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Gay, Good Acting, Grating, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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12-Nov-2023


Married At First Sight UK (2015-) Woof

Reunion. I was put off that Hades and his minions had ceased to judge then I realized that not all foreign reality shows are made in the cryptic depths of Australia. The black judge is either gay or giddy. Jordan thinks that his supremacism won't show if he romances the same black subject five years later. George escaped from the Arkham Asylum. No George, you cannot control this chick because you can't sexually satisfy her. Kwame has James Bond issues. The lesbians are happy with any kind of pussy, even if it doesn't eat dog food. Hey judges, gay men can marry sisters but they fuck men. The pronoun starts with cis. If the lesbians can get one with a bow tie we can get one lousy butch. They exist. They made us. The supremacist stopped the show by being supreme. He dumped a weighty issue by adopting a more politically correct one. Thou mustn't abuse the power called race. We're running away together, bitch! If you complain you'll sound like a racist because she's black! Instant GET OUT OF JAIL card. 16-Jun-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Egotistical, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Pitchy, Predictable, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Writ Basic

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16-Jun-2023




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