TV Posts Tagged as 'NSFW'
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Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Gary spent the night munching on blood and he did not appreciate it. WTF, he might become a bat or something. Serves the old man right. Food for thought: old ladies don't get periods. Colin and Daisy are still pretending. TG Gary is outlandish and goes with the flow. The charter turned the crew gay for money. The cameraman captured two shots of Chase's impressive hard penis squeezing into briefs and someone commented on the captain's green platano. Why was there no shot of Gary waking up with red paint all over his face? 27-Jun-2023
Daisy spars with men before she shags them. It's the only way to dock in her marina. A childhood thing, I presume? Did the surprise couple rub against Gary before the makeout session? Gary is becoming an old man manual. He wants to settle down before his cock dies. Little girls want to fuck. Everything. He wants to sabotage all young things. Not fast enough! Captain doesn't understand how laptops supposedly lay on laps. He laid it between his legs making it appear like a fancy menu at an expensive restaurant. He places it where he can admire it, record it, measure it or expose it. Chase's looniness never ends. He's auditioning for Gilligan's Island or oops.... I don't think he got a total examination. Poor thing. If Alex could talk he'd have a lot to say. The chef disappears into the background to keep her sanity but I always forget her until she talks. Chase jokingly asked a stew to expose how lovely her boobies were. WW3. Crew tongues can be salacious to charter, not each other. We were born to serve, choose and aggregate not mingle. 31-May-2023
Episode before last, the cameras lingered on a boy whose actions seemed questionable after his father's friend's accident. It was a creepy boy's 70s horror movie edit. The stews were impressed by the boy's manner, the camera was not. It surely wasn't inherited from daddy muscle charter. He was labeled a high school asshole as soon as he took his shirt off to expose massle magnificence. He may have been high strung but he did nothing wrong except demand what he paid for. Daisy is tired of slaving for rich people. Captain laid his balls on the table and reiterated that that was her job. Gary must have gotten some questionable treatment in quarantine because he kept competing for baby vagina with his cocky crew. The girl that burned the guest's dress: it was from Walmart. Chase's looney behavior is turning me on. He knows how to have fun by himself. In business, it always boils down to men vs. women, with the women always getting fucked. 19-May-2023
Gary's back. The girls stood in line waiting to make that move that catapulted Gary's fame and kept all the straight men hating. His lateness insinuated to his crew that someone should temporarily take over. Warning. Uptight decker on the loose and TG Gary pisses easy. That dumb hot piece of shit is undermining him. Everyone wants or has licked Daisy's face. I hope it's not because she fucked Gary. Big Jesus probably fucked her and the wet boatman got old and jealous. The captain is easy peasy as usual. I hope the decker bunking with the captain realizes that the captain is not a table. One more time and captain can retaliate. He could sleep on top of him. I could've sworn that Colin swayed his hips like Marilyn and I filed it. The men are pretty and gunning for Gary's attention, the girls are stupefied and frightened that their scary boss is really scary but always hoping that Gary notices them. Gary brought action back. 06-May-2023
Winter House (2021-)
S2E3. Luke is banished for having sexual thoughts about a girl that mentally promised him a blowjob. Women are warriors and baby factories, not sexual beings. That's what the LGBTQ community is for. Paige allows her lover to go bonkers because he would dump her for being a disobedient slut. Dumping the asshole would be female empowerment. Oooh, Kyle has love handles. He's squishy. Yum. I bet both sides taste like butterscotch. Kory is looking for a relationship that will adorn him in pearls. I know of a few straight men that can pretend to be his uncle. 13-Jan-2023
Amazing Race, The (2001-)
This year was all about daddy fashion. Daddy wore many accentuating pants that shadowed stuff that lifted our imagination. The winner of the race also won the best leg contest. I knew that one couple wasn't going to make it when one partner kept smiling like a loser. 08-Dec-2022
Daddy Phil rocked some stylish pants that made his Keoghan pop out. Nice daddy. The granite bros have me wishing for a thong challenge. I want to see the tall dude but not his wife Karen skimp too but I feel guilty. They look like they tie people up. Father and Daughter. She eyerolls stealthily whenever her father extols his masculinity and makes her look stoopid. The L Sisters were my favorite. They barfed eating greek Souvlaki. Yes, I know! It's that awful white sauce. It tastes like baby vomit. That's why I order it without it. It's really better that way. 18-Feb-2022
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Daisy exclaimed that the sock in Gary's pants is bullshit. Tiny fucker. Yum.
Captain brought his macaroni dick to guest's table and moved back so the charter could enjoy it. Good man. Gary darling made out with a boy and a girl but neither dared sit on him. Whew! Good to know there's only one rapist on Gary's love boat. 31-May-2022
The charter was a surgically enhanced female empowerment group. The type whose procedures make them look twenty years older because only old ladies need them. Why did it become serious when one charter member big splashed? Were they expecting a big sprinkle? One of the non-second stews left a fat sock in Captain's pant crotch. Did Chef Dos Latinos serve dessert with a little spoon because the Captain was dining with the charter or because he knew I would notice it? The Captain should have shown up for dinner in a jockstrap because all the women could talk about was Gary, Gary, Gary. Captain served the ladies macaroni crotch for breakfast but none of the women looked down. I would have stood on the table. The raped one was deliriously content making out with a non-second steward, giving fuck you stares to the rapist and riling up Ms. Long Ago. A man handles rape a little different. I'm not sure about this but I think a non-second stew stuck a similar sock in Gary's pants. 24-May-2022
Lord Salmon Decker has sexual amnesia. The sex was either very horrible or it felt illegal. Either way, amnesia is the best way out of the situation. Ashley couldn't keep her mouth shut and confessed every detail of the rape on video and audio on a loop. Yo, stop. I'm sure there's help waiting for her when they dock. They're wearing crew whites without any stripes. They will find her. Gary is the hero for fighting rape by not giving it the two cents it doesn't deserve. It's just another lousy fuck. It's not like shee reeped hiz ash to shereddss!!! 17-May-2022
If you unexpectedly slide it into Gary, he'll only notice a change in temperature. Chef Dos Latinos was perplexed by boobs so he made great food. Gary thinks that a male to female deck can do better than a female to female hand. Ashley thinks she should be promoted for raping a man and getting rid of Encanto. 11-May-2022
Gary got raped by a baby stew. The stew was giving the beautiful intoxication a massage when he fell asleep. He rolled over with a hard-on and she sat on it. Rape! Male whores sometimes get their rapes and hook-ups mixed up especially when they can't remember them. Double rape! HE DID NOT CONSENT! HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS! He'll feel the pain once he's 55+ and has a compulsive desire to sue her. Gabriela did everyone a favor by booking her mental illness out of there. I know Chef Dos Latinos was tired of that Encanto bitch. Daisy's woman in charge consists of granting her crew the power to let her fuck with their heads. Is that why Gabby left? Nope, it was Gary's fault. Cuddling with a salmon mermaid that's going to fuck you over is a mental no no. Colin and Gabby watching Gary snog with baby's breath made his ass clench and her mind/vagina explode. Did the captain remove a peanut butter cup from its wrapper and replace it with a dollop of peanut butter? That is so cat. I think I understand captain's giant cracker fetish. He doesn't want to shit the boat when he tilts it. 19-Apr-2022