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Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) Woof

Daisy spars with men before she shags them. It's the only way to dock in her marina. A childhood thing, I presume? Did the surprise couple rub against Gary before the makeout session? Gary is becoming an old man manual. He wants to settle down before his cock dies. Little girls want to fuck. Everything. He wants to sabotage all young things. Not fast enough! Captain doesn't understand how laptops supposedly lay on laps. He laid it between his legs making it appear like a fancy menu at an expensive restaurant. He places it where he can admire it, record it, measure it or expose it. Chase's looniness never ends. He's auditioning for Gilligan's Island or oops.... I don't think he got a total examination. Poor thing. If Alex could talk he'd have a lot to say. The chef disappears into the background to keep her sanity but I always forget her until she talks. Chase jokingly asked a stew to expose how lovely her boobies were. WW3. Crew tongues can be salacious to charter, not each other. We were born to serve, choose and aggregate not mingle. 31-May-2023
Episode before last, the cameras lingered on a boy whose actions seemed questionable after his father's friend's accident. It was a creepy boy's 70s horror movie edit. The stews were impressed by the boy's manner, the camera was not. It surely wasn't inherited from daddy muscle charter. He was labeled a high school asshole as soon as he took his shirt off to expose massle magnificence. He may have been high strung but he did nothing wrong except demand what he paid for. Daisy is tired of slaving for rich people. Captain laid his balls on the table and reiterated that that was her job. Gary must have gotten some questionable treatment in quarantine because he kept competing for baby vagina with his cocky crew. The girl that burned the guest's dress: it was from Walmart. Chase's looney behavior is turning me on. He knows how to have fun by himself. In business, it always boils down to men vs. women, with the women always getting fucked. 19-May-2023
Gary's back. The girls stood in line waiting to make that move that catapulted Gary's fame and kept all the straight men hating. His lateness insinuated to his crew that someone should temporarily take over. Warning. Uptight decker on the loose and TG Gary pisses easy. That dumb hot piece of shit is undermining him. Everyone wants or has licked Daisy's face. I hope it's not because she fucked Gary. Big Jesus probably fucked her and the wet boatman got old and jealous. The captain is easy peasy as usual. I hope the decker bunking with the captain realizes that the captain is not a table. One more time and captain can retaliate. He could sleep on top of him. I could've sworn that Colin swayed his hips like Marilyn and I filed it. The men are pretty and gunning for Gary's attention, the girls are stupefied and frightened that their scary boss is really scary but always hoping that Gary notices them. Gary brought action back. 06-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, NSFW, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Stupid Funny, Travel, Writer's Peak

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31-May-2023


Succession (2018-2023) HowlUpgradeFull Moon

Sticks were lit. Just when I thought someone needed to slap Greg, he gets into a brawl. Baby prince stays hurt because his stick is not invincible, it didn't absolve him from violence. Kendall conjured many joyous and catastrophic emotions impressively. It's all about Shiv. Bound by family and inheritance but destined to never ascend the heights of her brothers' success and doomed to feel cheated. The only thing she can own, with no help from her dysfunctional family, is how she wants to live. Mattson was a prickly genius. Mother In Charge was defiant in her opinions and uttered her lines like they were Mr. Freeze popsicles. The best way to deal with family angst is to join it, beat it or annihilate it. The series dealt with all of it. Even, emotionally dead mother fuckers, can teach you that. 29-May-2023
Roman broke his stick. Daddy Prince sat and ate his stick. Shiv grew a different kind of stick. Greg towering over Mattson made my stick hard. The boredom and responsibility of a funeral was deftly created. Everyone was pondering death or trying to ignore it. Shiv is most like her father. 22-May-2023
Shiv is an accomplice to earth's destruction. The reds are absolutely wrong about everything but are our only salvation. A parent's misery festers like a ghost. It clings to others but is disabled by future reference. I want to shove a stick up Greg's ass and lick his face. I want to pay Shiv to shove anything up Tom's ass. I want to lick daddy's supreme balls as he describes how it feels like to eat a bacon cheeseburger. Mattson is a foot in our mouths. Connor is on the list of ok must fucks. I hope it strangles us in the end. 19-May-2023
I give a fuck! 19-Apr-2023
S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women sewed their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is a game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him, again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cocky. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Best In Drama, Brutal, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Greatness, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Politics, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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29-May-2023


Queen Charlotte (2023) Howl

The garden starts to grow as soon as we catch a glimpse of it. Characters bloom, the younglings master the post artists and the older generation is A-list. Storytelling is compact with cultural explanations and detailed mystery comprehension. When things unravel they make sense. Young Charlotte trained smartly. Young Agatha was sumptuously gifted. She gave great face. Princess Augusta wrecked as an anti-villain. Young George was a beautiful broken piece of perfection. When he didn't move he looked like a doll. Young Brimsley was the cutest thing. He did not look like his future self because one is a pocket and the other is not but he was so squeezable that I thought the blonde semi-God didn't deserve him. Queen Charlotte: half of her title is fact. Diction was created so Lady Danbury can splatter it with harmony. Beauteous, courteous fiction. 19-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Art, Beautiful, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fashion, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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19-May-2023


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

Carl's fit had him climbing uphill so we could admire his bulbous crotch. All the boys served morning bulge with Kyle supplying a little bit extra. Ciara was being a can't by flirting vociferously with that roommate's helium boyfriend. The helium boyfriend came to bed with his crotch in an elephant's trunk so Ciara could feel reciprocated. There is absolutely no reason for Paige to do any work when there are two strong black women in the room. Paige threw up when she found out that Craig was crying because he missed his mother's birthday. She cannot relate to non-toxicity. Carl didn't face his ex and put a kabash to the drama because then he might have had to smack Lindsay for putting him in that situation. Lindsay's idea of a good marriage is wrastling her alligator to the ground and keeping other vagina (meat) away from him. Chris' latest grooming trick is the Titanic wraparound. Slut. 15-May-2023
The episode reiterated that Carl is gifted with his hands. Carl's mother didn't show up because she is over fake things. That other roommate confirmed it. Danielle thinks that Spielberg is still holding auditions for West Side Story's Anita. She was part of a throuple but only wanted singularity... with Carl. The giant decided to put his hands on a more successful product and edged her out. She's devastated because she will never feel giant's knuckles again. He's putting his ring somewhere else. Is it customary to make the latin women serve white people at a proposal party? It might be if they're nuts. Trust me, it's good to keep them busy when they're coo coo. Lindsay pointed out that Ciara's red lipstick made her look like a frog. You mean like the Princess and the...? 09-May-2023
Carl asks Lindsay to be his co-dependent. Samantha joined the series to fuck. Danielle acts like she made a pinky pact with Carl. He won't marry until she's perused every man on earth. He was her back-up. Chris Leoni joined the show to see how many straight men he could turn. He's getting very close. Amanda, be well. 03-May-2023
Happy Birthday, Kyle. The giant sprayed his fumes on Lindsay and it almost knocked her out of bed. Lindsay choked on a cheeto, explaining why Carl thinks he has a big dick. Ciara found another reason to hate other women. Men. Danielle is in everyone's business because her boyfriend is busy with his own. The only way Danielle is ever going to spend more time with the chef is to work for him. She'll get first dibs at his carrot and mayonnaise dip before the staff gobbles it up. 04-Apr-2023
Dude, either the giant's hands are really getting smaller or his prosthetics fell off. 15-Mar-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023
Kyle had a right to voice his opinion about Carl and suffer for it, if need be. Kyle did not admit anything that Big Hands hadn't. People must suffer the consequences of their actions. The argument is solely among the men. Business has no friends. Danielle confused loyalty for reality. She spent most of the episode pissed off and snitching because she couldn't enforce how she feels to a man whose opinion matters because it is what it is. Amanda is looking 60s fresh and I'm admiring it. Chris made it Ricky Martin obvious that his bro date with Kyle meant more to him than ever seeing a chick again. The ladies have a "no ass fuck" rule. They should take the long out of term. 01-Mar-2023
I think Kyle's love handle winked at me. Mullet is a no no. Go Tarzan so I can pull it. Big hands is portraying why Ben Affleck looks miserable in public. 14-Feb-2023

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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15-May-2023


Firefly Lane (2021-2023) WoofUpgrade

Finale. The actors excelled at enriching the light fantasy with light reality. The conversations spoke, it kept the dynamics pumping and Johnny wore the worst wigs. It made me my heart beat. The little engine that did. 11-May-2023
S2E10. It gave me everything I needed. 06-May-2023
A sweet dose of hospitality. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Comfort Food, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Lesbian, Magnetism, Music Rocks, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wig Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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11-May-2023


Superman & Lois (2021-) Woof

A magic spell not concocted with superpowers. Lana Lang and Sam Lane hooking up. Yay! 10-May-2023
The episode where I lost respect for Superman. Bruno one upped Clark's manhood by giving a million fucks for his dying wife while the Supe has technology that can save his but wont. The boys care enough to do everything to save their mom but she's waiting for Superman to become one. Clark Kent has become background wallpaper. Is Sarah's first lesbian affair going to happen with that Beppo woman? Ack! I actually felt sorry for Lana. The Amazing Valdez was missing and the invisible sister went invisible again. 05-May-2023
S3E6. It wrung emotions that overwhelmed the mythology. It's a well liked family drama with hillbilly charm. Like an aunt. Superman has no concerns about Superboy except teaching him how to hide for safety. A teen with superpowers of mixed cosmic race has no sexual malfunctions, ever? The Kents just want to be part of the team (earth). The boring part. They finally gave Lois a good excuse to not put food in her mouth. Lana's invisible child is given an abandonment storyline so a Kent can inspire her quest to save the world in the future and because the writers couldn't write another male fucking thing. Why does someone always know where the missing kid might have gone? That rose faced lady bothers me. Erik Valdez is auditioning for Jimmy Oleson, undercover. Wow, he has massles. He's hyped as fuck. What an adorable prick. He's fucking the town crier and the person Lana and the kids are most likely to bump into and he doesn't give a shit. Out of respect, he should try finding his steady fucks out of town. Why didn't they shave Chad Coleman and make him Lex? Why does Clark act like he's getting fired at a button's notice? Dude, kill it. I know they're not as cute as those wolf fuckers but fuck that, go wild. Touch Lana's ex latin prick's ass and make them pop. Laser the buttons off the snitch's blouse as she sits by the prick and have Lana and the kids show up. If the Kents start wearing cowboy hats and line dancing we know the button has been pushed. What's ok for the Ewings on Dallas is off base for comic book heroes. We devoured the comic adventures because it allowed entry into a world where fantasy science could inspire the gifted to take on the fight, leave real life misery behind and take our imagination to justice. We watched Dallas because they were fun, conniving, evil, drunk, violent, cheating, thieving, dreaming and killing assholes, like our families without the luxury, class or survival skills. The show is homebound. 29-Apr-2023
S3E6. Clark goes to death therapy to support Lois. Clark summarizes that his chances of death are kryptonite based and the threat of it doesn't happen often. He doesn't understand why his super sperm didn't save her. It helped Lana and she became mayor of Toontown. 27-Apr-2023
Oh, no. Are they going to change the name to "The Women and Clark"? 23-Mar-2023
I smell a Lana & Lois season. They already found a way to have daddy Supe lapse into comas. Lana banned all Kent men from her lesbian daughter and herself. They are toxic. She would have banned her ex-husband too but he needs to pay her rent. Sometimes daddy Supe appears to be the same height as Lana. 10-Jun-2022
Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Tired, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-May-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:

OrgU: I'm losing it brother

ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)

OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe) Slap!!!

Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!

The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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17-Apr-2023


Law Of The Jungle, The (2023) Woof

There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Entertainment, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Sentimental, Sexy, Showy, Shrill Act, Spanish, Sports, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Words Spoke

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20-Mar-2023


You (2018-) HowlDowngrade

It gassed up, almost made it out of the parking lot, but got blindsided by a food truck. What is the commonality between the women Joe obsesses over? They are very different. At least now he can afford to buy more cages. 12-Mar-2023
S3E9. The dork talks to dead people, now? It's a lazy writing gimmick. Who's bankrolling the fancy cages? Why is the entrance to the cage not padlocked? How do people shit in that cage? Shouldn't they, at least, be wearing diapers? Why do all movie assholes like to be tied up? Greg Kinnear seems to be the only one that understood the assignment. 12-Mar-2023
I heard it gets better but the 2 new episodes I watched seemed like they ran out of gas at the CW parking lot. 12-Mar-2023
It's indifferent to the story. Joe is surrounded by people that are too cliche to make fun of. He is being uncharacteristic, it made me forget what his fetish is and he has no equal match. 19-Feb-2023
Psycho settles into suburban madness. The psychology is rewritten to fit a desperate suburbanite. Pretension is the clarification of ascension. Psychos don't have bouts of good feelings. If they do it's the reason they're killing. Silence as I listened to Penn Badgley make me laugh, hurl and cum. Respect to Victoria Pedretti's restraint as a frustrated woman. Shalita Grant filled her empty cup. Travis Van Winkle enshrined it. Dylan Arnold needed more daddy laps. Tati Gabrielle was feathery. Daddy Speedman needed Dylan Arnold to sit on his lap. The whole was to make a monkey out of me. I love that shit! 02-Nov-2021
Leave it to California ("the Hellmouth") to turn a serial into a romantic victim. The pyschology was bi-polar and the disentanglements were happenstance and charred. I'm not excited to see a third season. 31-Dec-2019
The thrill of the cum trampled by a kick in the balls. The delicacies of love entrenched by intrinsic mind bending. Badgley steals the crown structuring the depth of his humanity and indignation. 20-Apr-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Great Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Pretty, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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12-Mar-2023


Call Me Kat (2021-) BitesUpgradeArf

Stay just as you are. 12-Mar-2023
The passing of the great Jordan made me realize how the show has become a family staple. The alcoholic neighborhood bar where all inhibitions are lost, pretension is the love potion to making friends, sex is candied and sticky, cordial and silly are memories and its best intention is not to hate cats. Bialik channeled Blossom and it worked. I never thought I'd see her again. Good. Papi Jack nailed himself to the wall so I could behold his back spread. It might not be the biggest anymore but it sure looks tasty. Julian Gant. I'm going to start at the top of his head and work my way down. 09-Dec-2022
Papi Jackson accepted my offer and renamed his brand Waffle Man and I went to the supermarket and bought all of Aunt Jemima's syrup. Kat hates cats! How abominably delicious. Yeah! 11-May-2022
They need to stop exploiting cats and explore the biggest vagina on the gay planet. Dorks are out, whores are in. Cat ladies are delusional. 02-Apr-2022
You know what? Kat is growing on me. She hasn't released her Big Bang rigidity but busting out some Blossom on shrooms sort of moves would make the character a classic. Miranda couldn't give a fuck and neither should Kat. Good luck! 27-Mar-2021
Mayim Bialik presumes she's as adorable as her childhood character, Blossom. She's not. The support represents everything that she has publicly denounced so it's uncomfortable watching them glorify her when she'd rather talk to the camera than interact with them. Leslie Jordan deserves better, Swoozie Kurtz might as well retire and Cheyenne Jackson has swallowed way too many dicks to be considered a straight romantic lead. 23-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Comfort Food, Corn, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Gay Swatch, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Tacky, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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12-Mar-2023


Perfect Match (2023-) Arf

Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Over the Top, Relationships, Sex, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wig Crack

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02-Mar-2023


Love Trip: Paris (2023-) Whimper

Wherein privileged American ladies travel abroad and are shocked that their toxic love speaks other languages. Mirko's storyline profiled him as a panty shredder. That was such a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rip. 02-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Overcooked, Questionable, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny

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02-Mar-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

The thigh king made a slight return and nobody thought to make the reunion a pool party. The eye king also made a return to apologize to his foreign partner for being wildly attractive. Trust no man who proposes a second time like you didn't hear him the first. A girl with no mothering capabilities surmised that her children will be small because her husband's dick is. Brennon's game is not wholesome. 15-Feb-2023
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022

Tags: Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

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15-Feb-2023


Winter House (2021-) Arf

S2E3. Luke is banished for having sexual thoughts about a girl that mentally promised him a blowjob. Women are warriors and baby factories, not sexual beings. That's what the LGBTQ community is for. Paige allows her lover to go bonkers because he would dump her for being a disobedient slut. Dumping the asshole would be female empowerment. Oooh, Kyle has love handles. He's squishy. Yum. I bet both sides taste like butterscotch. Kory is looking for a relationship that will adorn him in pearls. I know of a few straight men that can pretend to be his uncle. 13-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Cowboy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Lifestyle, NSFW, Reality, Relationships, Sex, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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13-Jan-2023


Love Island Australia (2018-) Arf

S4E26. Jake Gyllenhall Superman with a dorky accent. Country Quasimodo is punished for allowing girls to use him in a non-sexual manner. Samson who hates Delilah actually thinks he's got his sexuality down pat. Hawaiian Punch hasn't been opened yet, his teeth aren't yellow. Why talk about girls when Callum is the only thing worth eating. 05-Jan-2023
I missed the UK version so much that I resorted to this backup. This is a different animal, full of seriousness and ferocity.

The men are cave dwellers and the women, the suppliers that keep toxic men conquering.

If all a woman wants is bigness, handsomeness, grunting and darkness you are forsaking the feminist dream.

The brutality of what each sex stands for baffles me. 29-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Squish Alert, Unfunny, Wit Crack

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05-Jan-2023




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