TV Posts Tagged as 'Wit Crack'
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United We Fall (2020-)
Bland parental failure without boundaries. Do whatever doesn't disappoint most of the members and move on. It isn't that funny. There are no consequences or punishments. They fail and move on. 20-Jan-2021
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020
Dr. Seuss' The Grinch: Musical 2020)
The one time of the year where we show amnesty to a child predator banished to the caves because of a holiday. He turns green from a life of despair and lack of sexual perversity. Poor Max. Matthew Morrison is hated for his perfect curls, right amount of body hair, a nice gut and Leah Michelle professionalism and he knows it. Perfect casting for the The Grinch. The musical doesn't suck because of him, it is saved by him. A professional never sweats, never disconnects and never stops giving it their all. The mask lets him down but daddy was fully encapsulated. We hate daddy for calculating our pleasure but we'd eat it ASAP if we were caught in a forest or in a bathroom by accident. Wink. Wink. The songs are very outdated. Kids can't eat all the sweets that fill them. They don't know what sweets are and their parents can't remember why they banned them. It is a Whoville delicacy. The white bear meat looked really tasty too. Anyway, the pederast wants to destroy Whoville Christmas to honor the anniversary of when he got caught molesting a child that wasn't related. Cindy Lou saves the day, a green man woody makes a comeback, they all exchange presents they can't return and a molester makes it back home. 10-Dec-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
After sucking all of Jenny's earnings, Sumit's license plate will read "Lying Fucking Indian 2020." The sinful American daughters are no match for the guru of lies. At least they don't have to listen to mother pine for curry penis while he celebrates. The Gallos are getting married. Armando's thoughts shot right through the screen. "The money is mine, mine, mine. All of it. Fuck all thee cheeldren." The baby and Ariela took hot baby to a religious festival. Ariela worried for her child. The baby almost got wet! Her baby is the most sensitive being on the planet. Why are religious people so barbaric? She overreacted, apologized, declared her love for Ethiopion bendy straws and Sumit was not the only foreigner memorizing corny wench snagging romcoms. The mushrooms (Deavon & Jihoon) collapsed under their own gasses. Her dizzy aroma did not mesh with his stationary high. Pretty muslim boy is a terrorist bomb threat with no inheritance package. Brittany said, "fuck that, I'm going back to America. Be safe. Kisses." Smart girl. 30-Nov-2020
Sumit & Jenny. Sumit has earned the best supporting acting Oscar for 2021. He pleaded with the brownstones (parents) like he actually wanted to be married to a 500 year old fossil because he can't do any better or find a stabilized job. If Jenny does not wake up to the scam she will need mental health intervention. Tim left Melyza because dressing and holding a tiny doll in another country is very expensive. To elicit the tight doll like qualities of a foreigner he's going to have to stalk High School cheerleaders once he lands in America. The pain. Brittany and Yazan. Better hotter hairier brother held a conference with Brittany where he spilled Yazan's humiliations and castigations and demonstrated fuckable muslim sensitivity. Brittany is the smart American sister who decides with her brain and not with her partner's dick. Ariela and Baby. Ariela is full pod. There is no hope left for her and her mother knew it. The witches have clouded her mental health so she can withstand the torture of her child. They all lead miserable lives but not going to hell is a priority in a world with no God. It excuses all the evil they do. Stupid traditions belong in the fire. I smell a GLAAD Award for next week's episode. The Gallos get married with absolutely no rights to bind it! 22-Nov-2020
Geez. I almost forgot the gay darlings. First off, fuck them for using a clueless child (daughter) as a tool to make an audience sympathize with their political agenda. Armando did a great job passing the hate. The child was programmed to hate anything that would disagree with whatever daddy and granny croak say. The world pushes back daddies and the girl has no strength. When she acquires an opinion, it will bite them in the ass. Secondly, even if you get married, society doesn't accept, authorities wont honor it and the other laws will cancel it. Nope, wedding contract void. Next! Why bother. Did American croak do any homework? I understand Armando will fuck a cactus to smell a better life but it doesn't last long enough to matter. Eventually he'll have to become the man his wife was always telling him to become and what the daughter needs. Armando will walk away from the farce none the better and carry-on but his daughter might suffer. 16-Nov-2020
The patience testing episode. Ariela and Biniyam. American parents need to get a backbone. If foreign country parents can enslave and threaten to kill their children for their life choices the American parent can dish a whipping and withhold financial support to a dead end relationship. In Biniyam's world man exists to be satisfied (whoring, lying, and free money from easy options.) If Ariela expects respect she texted the wrong area code. I felt Ariela's parents' rage at the witch sisters, accusing their daughter of being tacky and rude whilst being tacky and rude themselves. If women don't have a say in their country, shut the fuck up. Ariela seems like she is breaking from the atmosphere. Good mental heath is a priority. Jenny and The Best Liar In India. Dude is gunning for an award for most convincing reality star. He doesn't want to marry Jenny but he likes her financial support. Bullocks. Jenny needs some help here. Her daughter-in-law gave great red face during the video chat. Send her to India to meet his parents. She'll fuck them up. They are trying to be patient and supportive. I get that. We have to stop being so wimpy though. Tell her. It won't go in right away but given the right moment it will click in when she needs it most. Sorry, Jenny. Tim and Melyza. Tim's mother had the best reaction to female cheating. Women do it to make sure they pick the right one or because they got dumped. 16-Nov-2020
Ariela and Biniyam. Big Baby suffers from Sumit lying syndrome and man whoredom. When a man exclaims he needs to be trusted, don't. His nasty family and stupid smirks do not endear him to humans. Mama Korea brought her kind persona and she was fun. Brittany and Yazan. She's fiddling with fate. I know the main reason why women have to cover-up in muslim countries. The men who dedicate a lifetime to prayer can't contain themselves around flesh. Horndogs. Don't ask them to change a diaper. Melyza played cool cat as mama "Karen" (Tim's mother) met her bet and raised it. Mama will call the police, even in another country if she thinks the slut is getting out of hand. The faux courtesy is just an American charm. 02-Nov-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
Ariela enacted Rosemary's baby madness along with spiritual possession. Biniyam was dead set on peeling off the skin God gave his son because he didn't want his son to be shamed by other boys. Unless the boys spend all day playing with each other's dicks a better reason for shaming the boy is that he's lighter than them. Jenny financially supports one of the greatest liars in India, Sumit. End of story. I don't understand Brittany's need to self-destruct. She's beautiful, her dog is awesome, her dad is understanding and squishy. She seems to have a good life. I know, I know. Yazan represents the beast you've acquired but can't train which makes you manic but you try and try again to no avail. Dude, I totally understand. One look at Yazan and those bowed legs in a leather jacket, meeting a 4K version of himself as a younger sibling and an "I will kill you" authoritarian dad and gay asses are perked up and ready to go. Don't. Deavon Clegg thinks that men who masturbate to porn are cheaters. Is she aware what men are? That's all we do, we have great sex with our partners and daydream/masturbate about the better bitches we can't have. We all do it. Whatever powders mama Korea is using is working. Jihoon is so sad and pitiful, I had a strange desire to fuck him when he bent down to pick up a diaper. Don't ask his friends if he's cheating. Ask your friends and his girlfriends. Drascilla proved to be a handful as she invaded people's spaces and harshly dragged younger children around "meth park." Daddy Croak and Armando can't get married unless they create a big stink about it. It could be a sign from God. Where did they hide the daughter? Was the dog watching her? 02-Nov-2020
Cultural traditions must be adhered to and celebrated even it if its barbaric (sacrificing living things,) sexist (putting women in their 50's place,) ridiculous (lets you mutilate baby dick,) uneventful (a Korean wedding) and joyless (the whole world) or else. It's a preparation for life. What exactly? Eating sand? Ariela is Rosemary caring for her baby but incapable of realizing any of her confessionals. Biniyam is the poser who can't keep a wife or a child that has recruited a tribe to conquer or possess this one. When Ariela yelled enough, I felt the powders flutter away a bit but she's going to need mom to get dust the majority off. Yazan is fuckable danger. Blondie got divorced. Woohoo! Armando and croak daddy had their first recorded fight. Daddy America resented that Armando was spoiling his daughter with his money. He also wondered if they plotted nasty things behind his back while talking in Spanish. WTF? Yes. Daddy Croaks is locally offended that he has to live in Shrekland instead of Poppinland. Don't worry daddy, everything will appear clear as soon as you meet the younger cousin, friend or stranger that will save you from your current predicament. If I fell for Sumit's lies, I'd be Jenny. I never want to be Jenny. Deavan and Jihoon. She's the dreamer that thinks a waiter is a man. He's the bedwetter that gets what he wants. She's the glue that moves none of them forward. They quieted mama Korea. That was unfortunate for the truth. 26-Oct-2020
When discussing your future marriage with a child it should be in private. The child never looked at the croak but he hung by like the predator posing no threat but clutching every thread. A child is owed privacy so you can make sure that what your kid says isn't calculated or inculcated. The croak bore magnificent children until the smell of Mexican penis rode him to faraway lands where the suffering has been non-stop. That does not constitute authentic parenting. I was in the child's situation and the adult situation. I put a spell on the first so he wouldn't enter my room and my forever stepfather cast a mommy spell to evict him from our apartment. Y'all stink except the kid. Brittany get's the prize for performing the most idiotic goof ups on another person while keeping them interested. She's Blondie from the comics. They had sex. He's never had it so willing and he's hooked. Tim needs to fuck Melyza's mother to get even. Biniyam's sisters are scary. Keep them powders away. 19-Oct-2020
The more comfortable some people get in their relationships the more it depreciates for us. Brittany. I can't. Ok. Her mother looks great. The Ariela "car scheme" was bitter but Biniyam's fake expressions of concern were disconcerting. Sumit pretended to fight with his parents to insure that a marriage between him and Jenny never takes place. Tim can go home now. He's looking the fool with every humiliation Melyza serves. What's next, she's pregnant by another man? Ken's daddy card has been switched to a library card. Instead of supplying support to Armando during family distress he worried how he was going to be perceived. He really has some American cojones. It's the kid's family and problem. He should be able to resolve it without shoving a croc's face into it. It's the new American telling foreigners how to live except it sounds like the old one. Armando loses major dad points for paying his burden little mind. Every single person is full of themselves for no apparent reason. 12-Oct-2020
Married At First Sight (2014-)
The couples served the last pieces of raw skin they had for us to eat. Brett didn't grace anyone with realism. Miles drew satisfaction from a towel job. Executive decision could not determine if her greatest strength came from a man or a woman. I think its a little bit of both. The owl was perched and miffed throughout. Woody overcompsumption makes you sick. Amani is a bro. (This is the absolute truth.) The mermaid put a spell on me that made me believe everything she said. Am I straight now? The bird is getting some. I can accept the tree bangers likability but I will not tolerate their talent. 30-Oct-2020
Decision day. My favorite bird stopped pecking and I felt bad. The pecking was one of his cutest features. When he twitches I get an uncontrollable desire to hold his face to mine to see if I can calm it. If you need to tighten up for emergencies its all good but please release yourself. It seems painful. I would point out what a plump juicy butt you seem to have but I wouldn't want you to think I'm "gay." Brett understands. Why Brett was never matched with the mermaid is a very good question. The mermaid would have found her voice and the bird and the owl might have flown away together. Was there a mix up? Brett ruined the reunion party by shooting a random bullet into the owl. He got silence from the men, hisses and boos from the women and laughter from Errattic.
I was touched by the friendships the fairytale marriages formed.
(I can't wait until Hades Au replaces a judge next season.) 28-Oct-2020
The bird married the mermaid so he can steal her voice. Surprise! He's Ursula. The bird confided to Woody that the mermaid questioned his sexual identity. Woody's nice guy image didn't crack but his thoughts burst like a spore. "That's it! I get it now. Can't wait to tell Miles." Neither executive decision or Woods participated in the same sex encouragement sessions. I hope they were sleeping and not having sex. The girls didn't understand the mermaid and tree banger couldn't comprehend the bird, at all. Miles and Woody did. By the time Miles semen reaches a hole, the child would have inherited Brad Pitt syndrome from its dryness. The bangers will survive if they can continue to bend the world away from reality and towards frolics with field fairies and lollies or dollies. 15-Oct-2020
Quarantine inhabited their lives and anxiety reached a higher level. The debate for and against baby creation became psychoanalyzed and compromised. The tree banger and his wife appeared the most content but is it because he's so bequeathing? Tree needs to avoid becoming one of Poison Ivy's house plants if he wants to retain his soul. Olivia is the girl that receives a trophy she can never hold onto. "It's like the trophy is coated in grease." It is and his name is Brett the shaggy, nasty smirky, jerky squishmeister and don't you forget it. Karen and Miles. Karen is so dependent on what a man should be that she forgot to question who she is. Woody and Amani put the cute in couple and an exclamation point at the end of their dreams. Sometimes, I feel they are putting us on and other times I say fuck it, I hope its real. Christina and Henry. Gay birds love marrying mermaids. 08-Oct-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
Reunion 2. Drug converse lingered too long. We need to accommodate the mentally impaired so they can joyfully do their sexually abusive jobs without killing anyone. That was the safety feature the Goddess was trying to implement. It works both ways, the drugs are illegal but a psychosis strike is no joke. The moment we enter a doctor's office, we are all drug addicts. The goddess struck down the captain with a thunderbolt as Malia armed herself like a gunslinger. Chef fuck was puppyish and backstabbing as he snitched that being fingered by Deck Ratched is a threat to his life. The ratched played it as feminine and as hopeless as a butch face allows whilst receiving glaring looks from daddy captain. Is pretty Jesus allowed to say, Oh Jesus? That was discomfiting. The lord doesn't give a shit about drugs, women issues or life policies. He's Jesus and he needs to fuck. 27-Oct-2020
Reunion. It was Hannah sabotage. All political and aesthetic arguments were won by women. They had Hannah to blame for everything, even how bad the chef's food tasted. The ratched was demure, the captain was tuna of the sea, Andy zipped his body into a zippo in case anything got mistook and Jesus was pushed aside like the God no longer required. Welcome to New Poseidon. 19-Oct-2020
The rocket liberated Jesus so others could worship him. Mistake. A goddess that begs on her knees and turns her tears into oceans is not worthy of his majesty. He's an experience not a flight. Deck Ratched should be commended for steering the boat and controlling her hen (Chef Fuck.) Alex was commended for being a nasty fuck that cares. Bugs is efficiency. Aesha is a jolt. Captain Sandy gets an outstanding pretense award for wishing Chef Fuck and Ratched well when Ratched had already confessed to her how she was going to dump him, whilst snogging in bed. (It's called Gaydar.) 12-Oct-2020
Aesha had a priceless reaction to the rocket's complaint that no one is allowed to touch pretty jesus butt during group photos. Aesha never heard of relationship confinement rules but she complied with the goddess' request and snorted to the audience. "My friends and family do it all the time, what would I do with his butt anyway, I don't have a penis," or something like that. Deck Ratched gave Chef Fuck an ass rubdown and he flitted about for the rest of the charter. 07-Oct-2020
When someone questions another's sexuality for provocation she probably does it because they want it, have tried it and want it again. Malia may not be a lesbian but she dates sweet n' low. Chef Fuck couldn't do a thing without deck Ratched. The captain was content just to find another dick to kick onboard now that dickhand was chained up. Alex was asked by empowered women who his boat bitch was as dickhand rattled his chains underground and cried for help. The pretty one decided that his Jesus skills could impart horny rich frumps to bump the tip and maybe make Goddess cancel that Bali trip. Aesha is a social worker. She basically bonked out because there were emotions and jealousies oozing from the rocket's mouth. "That bitch is crazy, relationships don't look like that no more. Google it." 28-Sep-2020
Someone Has To Die (2020-)
Boy sent to Mexico to avoid war and to study returns home, with a seductive male dancer in tow. The 50s saga unravels sex identity issues and makes the threat of a snitch, survival mode. The son is grappling with gaiety while enduring a fake proposal to a girl he really hates. The father is the lord of his castle oblivious of the killing, cheating, debauchery, scandals and crimes of his ships. One little spoiled girl twirls her tongue to avenge her betrothed's rejection, her goal is to sink his ship. The more ships honking their horns, the harder the lord's Titanic sways. The lord's job is to hunt homosexuals, jail them and enforce corrective violent therapy. Cecilia Suarez does not talk like her "House of Flowers" character because she is beautifully channeling a mother worried for her free-spirited son whose desire to escape is also hers. Carmen Maura is a killer played by a "killer". The three boys enticed in their own individual manner. The dancer showed us his moves and impressed. The director shot his ass and it was magnificent. Daddy looked younger without clothes. There are potholes. The boys relationship could use better clarification. Why were they friends? Exter Esposito is still divine. Manolo Caro develops powerfully diverse characters and then punishes them. This time it worked. 19-Oct-2020
Haunting of Bly Manner (2020-)
It takes us to the same places so many times that we can figure out its outcome. I wondered if surprises would have popped more often if told in sequence. I understand that black women don't want to be maids but the commitment level for a realistic character needs to make sense. You don't wear designer clothing to clean a mansion. The mop was taken away from the maid and passed to a child and the vacuum didn't really stay on. How the fuck did she clean a mansion all by herself? Very good performances keep it chugging but the art hits the wrong part of the brain. The lesbians finally have their "Titanic." Hooray! 17-Oct-2020
S1E2. The premise is hauntingly decadent. The bullshit has been cast aside to allow the mystery to breathe. Victoria Pedretti as the caretaker of cuties doesn't stifle, always persists and treats the children to a fantasy world of security. The babies are made of sunshine overexposure and creepin' fuckery. T'Nia Miller's character is, so far, underwritten but her soliloquies are ardent. Henry Thomas is putting his superior experience to use. Before I realized it was him I thought it was Colin Firth. Good job, my boy. As soon as Miss Gugino enchanted a wedding party into partaking in a nine hour drunken haunted folk story, she had the upper hand. She slithers her words to make women uncomfortable and make men wet. It's not as complicated as the other one made itself and I trust it. 12-Oct-2020
90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Tell All (2020)
Angela, did you get into a fight? Mrs. Bates is hilarious. Eric acted like he took a course in clowning and failed. Since when does family own individuals? The way people act on social media is how they treat each other at home? Eeek. No one has a free thought. If Michael needs his aunty to teach Angela what he is entitled to, he is not the man for the "babymaking" job. So say the spirits. The host asked Syngin to wave his hair back and forth and I chilled. 07-Oct-2020
Andrei was a cause for American consternation as he declared himself a jigger, a wife, a mother, the household and the man of the house. The Americans reacted like someone took their right to vote away. I would have been much angrier at him if I weren't imagining him motorboating Larissa while Syngin jumped up and down, hair back and forth. Joy. Norman and Mrs. Bates tried to state their case for the normalization of psycho. "She deserved it, she's a money grubbing whore." So was Janet Leigh but she didn't deserve to die. The rocking chair (mother) attempted to stabilize the accusations but Norman was too busy slobbering onto the cameras. It's ok, only fat hags, 12 year olds and stoopid girls got the gist. Eric seemed frustrated that there was no camera under his seat. So was I! Tonya only chimed in when the word psycho or narcissistic was raised. I wasn't looking at Angela's mask, I was looking at the bruises and scratches on her arms. Asuelo is not playing volleyball every day. Nobody likes the sport that much unless you're a coach, an athlete or someone who can hit. He looks like neither. The only thing he's hitting is his dick. 27-Sep-2020
Married At First Sight (2014-)
S11E12. Memories. Tree Banger expressed joy at being matched with a jungle woman. Banger Jungle roared and squelched like that funny actress on Wonder Woman 2 with shittier effects. Woody continued his act. The wife may be slaughtered when unable to scream. What the fuck does that mean? He fucked up my channel. If Freddy had designed nightmare wet dreams Brett would be in all of them. Olivia is a dream that awakens despair. I could have strangle fucked the bird and he would have said, "now you're getting it," as the mermaid holds a ray gun to my head that stuns dick. Miles and Karen. Miles, in my hood, you would have arrived at satisfaction, received a polish and a topper, a perfect manicure and a shave and wet worship manhandling. He would return having sacrificed enough joy to deal with her. 02-Oct-2020
The experts supplied the duos with the "Know You" quiz I invented five years ago and we got to know them better. Women are going to have to decide if the switch of power is suitable for male/female relationship success. Men are displaying feelings, getting insecurities, are depressed and vagina does not like it. They've become sensitive mothers with no wombs. They wont dare go near one unless she writes "yes, please!" on their chests. Woody transmitted porn vibrations and a hurtful soul. Amani played along with him. They discussed getting a dog with Woods not wanting one and Amani demanding one. Same solution as with the kids. She gets a dog and the kids get smacked every time they don't pick up after it. Scuttle opened up to the ocean and the mermaid and she tail thrashed him. I felt bad for him. It's not her fault either. Everyone deserves to get who they want. The mismatch almost seems like a producer in-joke. Olivia called out Brett's sarcastic look, talk and breath. She "officially" proclaimed he was Jekyll in front of the camera and Hyde behind it. He answered every question like a male escort, drank a shark drink like it was real and ate his taco like it was Olivia. Karen's constant belittling of Miles sexuality makes it seem she needs to check her own. Miles sperm dried up when the expert suggested they take sex off the table. Dude, run! The expert's disdain for cats was a detail I wished I'd miss. After it attacked her, she shooshed it away real polite and ratched. Banger wife re-attached a friend's finger after the Tree accidentally cut it off. I hope she flossed before the operation. Safety first. 24-Sep-2020
Daily routines were observed and only sarcasm relayed the truth. Amani spits toothpaste onto your hair. Woody awakens like a senior and avoids the night like a feeble. Olivia startles awake and Brett arises perfect. Tree Banger coyly called out wifey for a lack of cleanliness but she didn't bite. She's the breadwinner and he is the service. Case closed. The mermaid princess got together with another couple and ate Sebastian's grandchildren. Scuttle (the bird) spent half the time standing and perching. Amani attempted to have Scuttle confide in her but besides babbling about how impatience scares him, there wasn't much for Amani to capture from birdspeak. The princess was not amused that he thought her rude to her subjects. The bird, who never talks, complained about her lack of communication. They rethought things and decided the attention and cha-ching that may follow will be worth the marriage. To my chagrin Scuttle compared himself to a turtle. I blurted, "really?" His face twitches 50 times before a turtle blinks and are the feathers there to hide his shell? Brett attracted gay woodies at a rock climbing event then played "Trivia" at a bar with Olivia and her friends. The questions went over his head, he became surly and uncooperative exclaiming that what they were playing wasn't trivia. Wife was overcome with weakness, stepped out and had a meaningless conversation with her friend about how he doesn't want to be a part of them. I was team Brett all the way. The game was shit and the friends were condescending. Woody and Amani discussed child whipping. She was against it and he was raised with it. Of course, he acquiesced but thought...fuck it, a slap and a threat when she's not around, they won't tell. Executive decision yelled rape with a but. I have no understanding of her type. By proclaiming to be so empowered she has become the weakest bride. If you need to pay someone to show you what closeness is, you're a robot. Let the daddy loose or fuck his brains out. You only live once. 17-Sep-2020
Hollywood dating was in effect. Karen and Miles went food shopping. I would have picked up Popeyes before heading home just to annoy her. Executive Decision (Karen) declared foul once again. She can't deal being matched with a girl. What kind of bulls are in this woman's life? Daddy just wants some bear hugs, teet tweaks, a yank and maybe a pull. As soon as daddy put his sex foot forward, she yelled rape. She's not suitable for human contact. The Bangers went slacklining. I would have pulled out my scissors and cut the line but this couple is about celebrating every stupid little thing. The banana tree broke peer sex pressure and popped the wife which lent him "I can do better" arrogance as he regaled her for being unkempt and undutiful. He also chose space instead of her. That'll teach her not to clean the bathroom. The bird taught aquatic maiden to golf and a human tried teaching them to dance. I wondered if his head whips spontaneously back and forth during oral service. Olivia and Brett went on a Republican alligator expedition. Brett was especially upset when he realized there'd be no alligators attacking the boat or his wife. Stupid and funny reactions were enabled with an addendum stating Brett would be honored to push his wife out of a plane. 09-Sep-2020
The couples prepared for company. Brett called Pastor Cal a dik and went missing for hours. Next day he returned to celebrate his marriage to a nurse practitioner with free access to drugs. Party time. Brett compared his wife to Nurse Jackie and gossiped to his friends that there was a lot of big dick in Mexico. The Bangers played house. Tree Banger rocked some jack-o-lantern cotton as his head made a great wick. The aquatic princess couldn't think of a favorite childhood food even though she's a mermaid and was cooking fish. The Dracula wives made a return to authenticate that their bff was the best victim a woman could ask for - without the sex part. Karen softened to the idea of their being some Perry in Madea. The village partiers "sex bashed" the men that weren't measuring up. The chants in favor of rape were horrific. Do you want him to pull your hair? Yes, that would be nice. Choking. If he knows the safe word, yes. Will you let him say the first word? Absolutely! Can you beg to push things along? Absolutely fucking not, I'm still a woman. Rape. 02-Sep-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The female staff dressed as transexuals for rich man money. Chef Robin (w/out Batman) had a hissy over warm temp fish. Rich people eat food below a 5 temperature. Wow. So is a 12 poor people food? Captain supported the Chef hissies up to a point. As soon as he thought wearing panties constituted a vagina, Cap put her in her place. He was still backdoor bitchy but an ass-fingering calmed him down. Pretty Jesus pretended his dick was a cucumber. Pretty Jesus and rocket were getting it on when Deck Ratched established that rich assholes don't pay to watch the holy fuck. Really? 22-Sep-2020
Male money devised a rich plan to swipe female crew. Teach them self-defense and let them win. Hysterical.
Aesha missed "normal" people.
Chef Nasty Fucker lost it over some fresh dick sponges that didn't arrive in time. 14-Sep-2020
The snow sifter moved the boat all by herself and saved two lives. Lots of energy. She saved a charter that confused her high legs with her sea legs and a comrade that floats. A charter concocted a clever way to call her friend a fat fuck. She only apologized after hot daddy snapped her neck back into place. Chef served no legs but bounteous food. I wished it had been the other way around. A sense of draining exhaustion hit pretty Jesus when his ex reached out. I saw his dik shrink during his Shakespearean outbursts and disappear when his rocket sat next to him. It's ok rocket, his next girlfriend is going to fuck the pretty right out him. 31-Aug-2020
Post Hannah all is a celebration of what I term "cute." Romance rides the waves to titanic (disaster,) dancers make it back onboard (fear), fuckers got trained to listen (men,) guests returned to sliming (sex,) all because Hanna no longer breathes the same air. I miss being depressed with Hannah...and Kiko. 25-Aug-2020
Captain got "Ellen" on Hannah.
Hannah was lawfully hoisted.
Malia kept lawfully exonerating herself, for the cameras. (Boat snatching is a job requisite.)
A charter who wanted to make Bugs a bunny brought a 32" dildo onboard for the crew to connect with and for Bugs to twirl. They missed a golden opportunity by not introducing it to the captain. The dildo wasn't as offensive as the person who needed it and used it.
Complicit Chef leggy suffers from prissy imperfection anxiety. Shells on a shell plate is a no no. White people don't chew. It's suck, swallow. No wonder Malia needs control of the boat. 17-Aug-2020
New sweet gams squish.
Malia commandeered the entire boat but mostly Hannah, so she can have squishy time with her boyfriend. A deed that would end up in court if a man lead the charge.
Why is Adam allowed worst sexual innuendo etiquette than dickhand? Where's dickhand? 11-Aug-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
With one little tap, Jihoon expressed to Deavan's brat what he would do to her if the cameras weren't around. Armando celebrated the unity of his newfound gay family. They are protective and supportive of him for as long as father and American hypocrisy allows. Brittany's fame whoredom is deadly. Why can Yazan's family find Brittany nasty pics but not her marriage license? If Sumit doesn't need family permission to fuck, he doesn't need them to get married. Fuck off. 01-Sep-2020
Jihoon's family presented very well. Grandmother was especially open. Korean mother taught her "idiot daughter in-law" how to make a feast for a family celebration (they bring money.) Deavan challenged the cook but Korean mother laughed and sliced her way through the conversation and discontinued the lesson.
Worshipping family hierarchy and the religion it boasts does not enrich the lives of their country or its people. It just keeps them chained together in misery.
Mother/daughter splintered Jihoon's ears after he was incapable of saving Deavan's brat. A woman cannot shuck her responsibility because there is a man present. Considering modern woman can do "everything," loafing all day and critiquing how a man should perform should allow her enough time to look after her own kids. Mama Korean kept checking on baby Jihoon to make sure he wasn't crying and to make sure her powders were working.
Daddy business proposal and his ilk harangued Armando on flaming out to his parents about engagements and public displays of affections. Armando seemed incapable of catching his breath while they piled the same questions, over and over. Sorry old man. You're in foreign country, problem solving is a difficult application, white privileged assholes disappear all the time and you want to buy some courage?
Brittany. Stop it. Good run but the fifteen are up. Her scenes remind me of Hostel.
Ariela needs a head start. "Run before the sisters bounce all over you." 18-Aug-2020
Armando's stimulus check arrived early.
Tim continued his "I don't fuck no more strange pussy" campaign to the chagrin of Melyza's father who wanted him cancelled. Melyza spoke of the importance of parental approval then dismissed it as soon as they didn't agree. The woman just wants to see Tim hurt.
The fabulist was upset because Yazan didn't tell her she had three days to become a muslim or else. The married lady threw a fit, daddy threw his macho out, the parents fitted her ankles for chains and they all lived happily ever after.
Deavan's mother lectured Jihoon on being less of a man. She slugged hugged him after he agreed to do better. He ouched, felt fear and and bored hate right through her. Mama Korean raced home to mix special powders to get rid of that perception. 11-Aug-2020
90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All (2019)
The word soulmate has been destroyed for me. Why does anyone think that another soul can be connected to you for eternity but not death. Tania is the female empowerment culled from watching too much Nick sitcoms and Jane The Virgin. Syngin needs to squish right out of there before he turns to squash. Anny. He's looting your ass. Mamita tell the grandmother you want a job in porn. Too bad for the cute kid. Juliana & Michael. I hope to see the Lifetime version of how it went down ten years later. Lesbian Ex Killers... Fuck 'em attitude all the way. Emily & Sasha. Girl, he fucked me at the gym. Good luck not reaching for them cookies. Jasmin is so ravenous that she turned Blake's eyes blue. Anna & Mursel. I can't tell if it's genuine but her son Joey isn't opposed to the marriage because he lost control of the household it's because he really thinks something is afoot and mama ignored it. The psychology is outdated. Mike & Natalie. Natalie is calling bullshit on the process by establishing that there is more than one reason to get a green card, she' just being brutally honest about the demands. Nice men always follow bad boys by giving everything but pleasure. Mike & Juliana. Walking on broken glass. Michael & Angela. Angela is the aggressor that will lead you out of danger. Her hopes and dreams are so gigantic that she almost makes it seem possible. She deserves to get herself some. Angela, the buffoons have been cursed. Wink, Wink. Twitch. Kaboom! 30-Aug-2020
90 Day Fiancee (2014-)
S7E10. I understand the fulfillment received when a foreign embodiment decrypts what your own country can't give you...love. It's a trophy denied by the sameness in representation.
Juliana and ex-wife concocted a plan to destroy white daddy privilege. Juliana is smart. Happiness is never having to see white daddy privilege smirk again.
Blake & Jasimine. Dude, I had a relationship with her ex and every time I saw her, I shit my pants. He must like the punishment.
Anna & Mursel. The reason Mursel couldn't marry Anna is because the power in celebration has gone to parents' heads. Her eldest read it.
Robby & Anny. Ok, Anny is a fabulous creature that looks like my first girlfriend. If Robby doesn't provide for her like he promised their are bigger diks with extra bucks that will. Stop sleeping with your kid. You are making it easy for a pedophile to bed him. Would you like to snuggle, young sir?
Emily & Sasha. You can't change a communist. I've tried. Family first.
Tania & Syngin. If I were still a twink and still interested in sex I would enrapt her slave in realistic options and whip his hair back and forth. She is abominable. 29-Aug-2020
S7E3. Stoopid Americans invest on foreign trade hoping for love everlasting. Succeeding at not making their own dreams come true, the Americans construct a turkey pact to allow others into this country so they can destroy them. (We are built on the idea of slavery after all.)
Michael & Juliana. I hope he doesn't manage business the way she manages him.
Emily & Sasha. Emily is his last chance to get to America before his kid does.
Blake & Jasmine. Poor guy.
Anna & Mursel. The cherub and the bee. Anna cannot blame a man for not prioritizing her children. The kids are her responsibility and we live in a world where women make it their choice to matter. Give up the dik or hurt your kids.
Robby & Anny. Fool, get your son a bed! Fuck her. She's not here to play nice. The only way to be fashionable in a poverty stricken country is to provide special services.
Tania & Syngin. Jane acquired an injured bronco with free carpentry and boinking skills. It's your mother's house! She barely wants you there now. She will kick you out as soon that pitbull pops out your belly. She irritates like my sister. 22-Aug-2020