TV Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'
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90 Day Fiance (2014-)
"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.
A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.
(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021
Acapulco Shore (2014-)
The men are supreme alpha dogs. The girls keep tripping on penis and alcohol on their way to womanhood. Welcome to a fucker's paradise. The sexes loathe each other as much as the American version except the Mexican men are allowed to call the women messy, hairy and girlish whores as the women are free to be messy, hairy and girlish whores. 18-Mar-2021
Garbage that falls to earth from space causing peculiarities in the environment and people. The sap is so gooey it won't allow the drama to unfold. Every ten or fifteen minutes it's asking for tears or sympathy. That's too much. Why does the investigator supply such definite answers? Can't we take a gander at it and they write it in naturally, later? Not even daddy perk butt can seduce me to stay. 08-Mar-2021
Casados Con Hijos (2004-)
Married With Children adapted for Colombian TV. The cast and writers are frying the American version in nastiness. They break all the rules that we police. Al is ridiculous and mama makes Peggy proud. Bud fucks his uncle's wife before the wedding and Kelly literally fucks the whole town. It's free, it's stupid, it makes me laugh before singing me to sleep. There's nothing like family. 06-Mar-2021
Big Sky (2020-)
It's a pity there is only one John Carroll Lynch and wife and trans. 26-Feb-2021
It looks like John Carroll Lynch is the only one carrying the series forward. Save the girls, give them love dilemmas and have them start a detective agency. Nix Barbie's Angels (wife and slutty BFF,) tone down the mother/son Bates competition and bring on some hot men. Keep hot grandpa and bitchy mother. They have promise. The wife revenge is intriguing. Kill the rest. 13-Dec-2020
Daddy squish competition, ignorant white girls without parents, "mothers are to blame for everything" quotes and smart dialogue. I wasn't shocked at the outcome, I was shocked at the choice. Twin Peaks dream with a nature show I haven't seen before. I'm hooked. 21-Nov-2020
You can successfully write stupid if the cast is willing to forego all boundaries and accept the stupidity in all of us. It can be unrealistic, silly but fun. There are more misses than hits but when they do, they are uproarious. Kisses to Queen Kong and a supportive staff, cunning to break out. 14-Feb-2021
Great, The (2020-)
This is the gangster version of Bridgerton. Emperor Peter, not The Great (that was his father) marries an empty pocket princess (Catherine,) devirginizes her without proper fantasy protocol and improper rapey penetration and provokes a sexual political war. The emperor was a child playing with a power befitting its time and privy to men and offensive to everyone. Catherine wanted all of that. Nicholas Hoult's cunt is a fascinating watch. You don't want to fuck him but you kinda do until he does something disgusting again and then it's off which makes him curl into a ball and makes you want to hug him. Good job, dude. Elle Fanning owned her virginity as much as she flaunted it. Slutdom was the key to achieving a turn in power. The comedy is harsh, the actors are yum and the politics are like ours. 13-Feb-2021
Wendy Williams: What A Mess! (2020)
A throaty and battle-weary queen sitting on her throne describing her scars of conflict. She strips another layer of skin and it's boldy humiliating. Oh shit. The hate you give rolls back. It was devastating watching a queen fall apart, reinvent herself and seek revenge in the course of an hour. She outcomplexed myself. It was riveting. If it was fake... even more riveting. 31-Jan-2021
Wendy Williams: The Movie (2021)
Ciera Payton was too hollowed and untrained to lend craft to Wendy's huge persona. The accent. She got her Snookies confused with her Lavernes. The tits were great. Why didn't Ms. Payton lip synch to Wendy's real voice? Why didn't Ms. Williams just do it? Why not go balls out crazy and cast a man? That's gold. We tune in because it's grade A gossip but we know it's "fuck you" art. 31-Jan-2021
Resident Alien (2021-)
We finally get to call an alien an alien. Maybe the stigma will correlate and they can share stories. Alan Tudyk creates an alien that is a threat and a sweetheart. He makes fucking an alien a priority. His reactions were tuned to every situation. He lives in a world where he can eat the ape man and savor it. He's savoring. Sara Tomko grooves right into character. She will change his path or stop him from encroaching ours. The story's job is to surprise us. Good luck. 28-Jan-2021
A Teacher (2020-)
I keep wondering if the punishment would have been less traumatic had they not been caught. 21-Jan-2021
The consequences of an illicit affair between a female adult and a developing teen is that she equips him with a superpower. She gets punished. He becomes a sexual bandido because she taught him how pussy works. That is one hell of a superpower to lay on a kid and the episode exploits it as much as it clarifies it. I became confused and disoriented by the idea that if you enjoy it and it gives you street cred, it's not that bad. 10-Dec-2020
This happens when we're no longer allowed to slut-shame. 30-Nov-2020
S1E3. There is a warning at the end and the beginning of the show there is also also a contact for abused twinks to unload the free pussy they've been scoring for months. "Geez, it was fun for a while, but now she's acting like my mom. I don't care if she goes to go jail. Where do I sign?" The female teacher is the new priest. It's not her fault. Her husband is buying shit without her permission and his dick is no longer pink. She's helpless. Kate Mara adds the lemon to the all you can eat fish fry as Nick Robinson preserves a crack addled twink for dessert. Baby looks tired. It smells like a headline that caught your eye once and you only remembered it when it swung back around. All we can hope for is lots of sex and violence. This show makes you want to go out and break things. 28-Nov-2020
United We Fall (2020-)
Bland parental failure without boundaries. Do whatever doesn't disappoint most of the members and move on. It isn't that funny. There are no consequences or punishments. They fail and move on. 20-Jan-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.
Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020
Happiest Season (2020)
Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend to adapt and because that sinking feeling we get when you first meet is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.
(Oh, Oh. I don't mean to bring this up but it does end with lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020
Christmas Setup, The (2020)
A demure mouse and his follower spend Christmas with his mom to opine their inability to succeed at anything. Frilly city gay meets country dorky gay. It's a gay love story with grand support from a fairy goddess (Fran Drescher.) She huffs and puffs but everyone else is yawning. The romantic leads need some Goya beans to create a spark and Lifetime needs to do better impassioning the male community with quality man product. 15-Dec-2020