TV Posts Tagged as 'Accidental Watch'
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A Teacher (2020-)
I keep wondering if the punishment would have been less traumatic had they not been caught. 21-Jan-2021
The consequences of an illicit affair between a female adult and a developing teen is that she equips him with a superpower. She gets punished. He becomes a sexual bandido because she taught him how pussy works. That is one hell of a superpower to lay on a kid and the episode exploits it as much as it clarifies it. I became confused and disoriented by the idea that if you enjoy it and it gives you street cred, it's not that bad. 10-Dec-2020
This happens when we're no longer allowed to slut-shame. 30-Nov-2020
S1E3. There is a warning at the end and the beginning of the show there is also also a contact for abused twinks to unload the free pussy they've been scoring for months. "Geez, it was fun for a while, but now she's acting like my mom. I don't care if she goes to go jail. Where do I sign?" The female teacher is the new priest. It's not her fault. Her husband is buying shit without her permission and his dick is no longer pink. She's helpless. Kate Mara adds the lemon to the all you can eat fish fry as Nick Robinson preserves a crack addled twink for dessert. Baby looks tired. It smells like a headline that caught your eye once and you only remembered it when it swung back around. All we can hope for is lots of sex and violence. This show makes you want to go out and break things. 28-Nov-2020
United We Fall (2020-)
Bland parental failure without boundaries. Do whatever doesn't disappoint most of the members and move on. It isn't that funny. There are no consequences or punishments. They fail and move on. 20-Jan-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.
Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020
Happiest Season (2020)
Lesbian with bad wig exploits girlfriend with bad dye job by coercing her to celebrate the holidays with her cult (family.) In-laws suck no matter how much they pretend to adapt and because that sinking feeling we get when you first meet is the truest. I thought that being loud and proud would supply Kristen Stewart with a personality but she remains dry ice. Maybe she's the wrong sex. I don't know where she was but she wasn't here. Dan Levy proves why I won't watch his Creek's shit. Just because the character is useless doesn't mean you can't steal it. I would have sexually cheated my way out of there and said fuck you to Whoville pudding.
(Oh, Oh. I don't mean to bring this up but it does end with lesbian violence. No fucking kidding. They knock down a Christmas tree and everything.) 20-Dec-2020
Christmas Setup, The (2020)
A demure mouse and his follower spend Christmas with his mom to opine their inability to succeed at anything. Frilly city gay meets country dorky gay. It's a gay love story with grand support from a fairy goddess (Fran Drescher.) She huffs and puffs but everyone else is yawning. The romantic leads need some Goya beans to create a spark and Lifetime needs to do better impassioning the male community with quality man product. 15-Dec-2020
Big Sky (2020-)
It looks like John Carroll Lynch is the only one carrying the series forward. Save the girls, give them love dilemmas and have them start a detective agency. Nix Barbie's Angels (wife and slutty BFF,) tone down the mother/son Bates competition and bring on some hot men. Keep hot grandpa and bitchy mother. They have promise. The wife revenge is intriguing. Kill the rest. 13-Dec-2020
Daddy squish competition, ignorant white girls without parents, "mothers are to blame for everything" quotes and smart dialogue. I wasn't shocked at the outcome, I was shocked at the choice. Twin Peaks dream with a nature show I haven't seen before. I'm hooked. 21-Nov-2020
Dr. Seuss' The Grinch: Musical 2020)
The one time of the year where we show amnesty to a child predator banished to the caves because of a holiday. He turns green from a life of despair and lack of sexual perversity. Poor Max. Matthew Morrison is hated for his perfect curls, right amount of body hair, a nice gut and Leah Michelle professionalism and he knows it. Perfect casting for the The Grinch. The musical doesn't suck because of him, it is saved by him. A professional never sweats, never disconnects and never stops giving it their all. The mask lets him down but daddy was fully encapsulated. We hate daddy for calculating our pleasure but we'd eat it ASAP if we were caught in a forest or in a bathroom by accident. Wink. Wink. The songs are very outdated. Kids can't eat all the sweets that fill them. They don't know what sweets are and their parents can't remember why they banned them. It is a Whoville delicacy. The white bear meat looked really tasty too. Anyway, the pederast wants to destroy Whoville Christmas to honor the anniversary of when he got caught molesting a child that wasn't related. Cindy Lou saves the day, a green man woody makes a comeback, they all exchange presents they can't return and a molester makes it back home. 10-Dec-2020
Ben 10 Versus The Universe (2020)
Man of Action is its motto and we are stuck with it. Daring move. Gwen's character was shrunken, devoid of hutzpah and no magic. Bitch, we want the magic. Make it up on that infinite timeline I can't follow anymore. The upgrades are cool but I want to see it in 3D. That would make it awesome. Babies are exhausting, there is no heart left in the franchise and I no longer have a comfortable desire to relive my 30s. 28-Nov-2020
I don't have the missing brain cells to understand it or finish it. 28-Nov-2020
Someone Has To Die (2020-)
Boy sent to Mexico to avoid war and to study returns home, with a seductive male dancer in tow. The 50s saga unravels sex identity issues and makes the threat of a snitch, survival mode. The son is grappling with gaiety while enduring a fake proposal to a girl he really hates. The father is the lord of his castle oblivious of the killing, cheating, debauchery, scandals and crimes of his ships. One little spoiled girl twirls her tongue to avenge her betrothed's rejection, her goal is to sink his ship. The more ships honking their horns, the harder the lord's Titanic sways. The lord's job is to hunt homosexuals, jail them and enforce corrective violent therapy. Cecilia Suarez does not talk like her "House of Flowers" character because she is beautifully channeling a mother worried for her free-spirited son whose desire to escape is also hers. Carmen Maura is a killer played by a "killer". The three boys enticed in their own individual manner. The dancer showed us his moves and impressed. The director shot his ass and it was magnificent. Daddy looked younger without clothes. There are potholes. The boys relationship could use better clarification. Why were they friends? Exter Esposito is still divine. Manolo Caro develops powerfully diverse characters and then punishes them. This time it worked. 19-Oct-2020
Lovecraft Country (2020-)
I wish the production would ignore whites the way they did us because white men as devil diatribe is tired. The horror inhabits everything in history that we celebrated with no punch. I want to celebrate who we are, should be, can be, not something we never were. Wasting a beautiful cast on nonsense. 31-Aug-2020
The Jefferson clap was joyous, ex-President to Jorel was cheek and daddy brick stripped with comic book accuracy. The cast is in it but the words don't feel them. Too much confusion to be fixated on anything. I'm confused because my old head can't grasp it or because the words are slippery. Exactly. Its biggest problem is fixating on not humiliating itself in the portrayal of people that were. The people whose courage we still remember. 23-Aug-2020
Amiably cast, historically vibrant but returning the black man to when he had no power does us no good. (Wos included.) A scare happens when you don't expect it. White cops versus saints versus action heroes. There's only one answer. The three protagonists are full of huff and puff when it's historically known that most people didn't stand up at that time. That's why we're here. It's insulting to the few that famously dared. The big bang threat was unexpectedly absurd and depressing. (Daddy brick needs to get naked.) 17-Aug-2020
90 Day Fiancee (2014-)
S7E10. I understand the fulfillment received when a foreign embodiment decrypts what your own country can't give you...love. It's a trophy denied by the sameness in representation.
Juliana and ex-wife concocted a plan to destroy white daddy privilege. Juliana is smart. Happiness is never having to see white daddy privilege smirk again.
Blake & Jasimine. Dude, I had a relationship with her ex and every time I saw her, I shit my pants. He must like the punishment.
Anna & Mursel. The reason Mursel couldn't marry Anna is because the power in celebration has gone to parents' heads. Her eldest read it.
Robby & Anny. Ok, Anny is a fabulous creature that looks like my first girlfriend. If Robby doesn't provide for her like he promised their are bigger diks with extra bucks that will. Stop sleeping with your kid. You are making it easy for a pedophile to bed him. Would you like to snuggle, young sir?
Emily & Sasha. You can't change a communist. I've tried. Family first.
Tania & Syngin. If I were still a twink and still interested in sex I would enrapt her slave in realistic options and whip his hair back and forth. She is abominable. 29-Aug-2020
S7E3. Stoopid Americans invest on foreign trade hoping for love everlasting. Succeeding at not making their own dreams come true, the Americans construct a turkey pact to allow others into this country so they can destroy them. (We are built on the idea of slavery after all.)
Michael & Juliana. I hope he doesn't manage business the way she manages him.
Emily & Sasha. Emily is his last chance to get to America before his kid does.
Blake & Jasmine. Poor guy.
Anna & Mursel. The cherub and the bee. Anna cannot blame a man for not prioritizing her children. The kids are her responsibility and we live in a world where women make it their choice to matter. Give up the dik or hurt your kids.
Robby & Anny. Fool, get your son a bed! Fuck her. She's not here to play nice. The only way to be fashionable in a poverty stricken country is to provide special services.
Tania & Syngin. Jane acquired an injured bronco with free carpentry and boinking skills. It's your mother's house! She barely wants you there now. She will kick you out as soon that pitbull pops out your belly. She irritates like my sister. 22-Aug-2020
Baewatch: Parental Guidance (2019-)
Family elders get to observe and decipher the toxicity in a youngling's infatuation. The tests are minimal and the production is too handy with band-aids but a youngling can't help being a youngling and left alone it will unravel. Red drunk pulls a white power card to shut down an argument with his black girlfriend. That's a never. I wished that had been singled out but without black representation both families were at a loss. The series punctuates its premise but it plays out apprehensively. 25-Aug-2020
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
Thor hammered Drusilla (Buffy/Angel) into place. She was the hostess with listening skills.
When women unite its for solidarity when men do is to wreck. If Michael attacks vagina the way he did Aleks I can see why Stacey stayed a bit. For every ball that popped from a man's zipper there was a female clipper on standby. The boys didn't win because their time is never but they broke her enough to make a girl out of her.
Mishel and Steve served some Kanga and it was sort of cute if you're there but cringey watching from home. I entered Steve in the gay freebies league. We hand out exclusive bjs to needy fit seniors, celebrities and straight men. All done by text. (Yes, Michael gets a discount.)
Creep racer used his mates to rev Aleks up but all it did was bring forth how fast or creepy he may be. Whatever the problem, the X marks the same spot. Eek.
The wives were sideswiped by hubbies, families and friends. Drew, from the rainbow toy collection, arched his back in pride as KC was blasted by his mother monster. The toys exist to entertain his dates. Ivan turned into a creep racer and Aleks woke up. Mishel needs to allow Steve time to switch his sexual identity towards her or not. No more talking. Seb sliced Lizzie's unhealthy appearance which he fixed with a bone rub and a kiss. I can add privileged to Stacey's hub slime. If Jonethen doesn't watch out, he'll accidentally enter Connie because of that foot in his mouth. She doesn't understand. Run. 07-Aug-2020
Mishel could balance on the ladder steadier if she grabbed onto reality. It is hard to live by one mentality when others won't. Men are molded by ego and sex. Daddy Steve from a children's book usurped his power by insinuating his coolness should have indicated to the experts that he deserved a twinkly and less in charge wife. I believe he tried but the email he wrote his willy wouldn't SEND. Hey, I think she's beautiful but I wouldn't sleep with her either. It never would have mattered when he said it, the reaction would have been the same. The rampage was preordained.
I wish they could find a way for Hayley to return. Happily divorced and remarried. There is young love to smash, daddy behemoths to best and she can terrorize the squirmy one with the smashing ring finger. 01-Aug-2020
Future prediction: men and women will isolate from each other until the government lottery calls their # for procreation. The women will raise the girls; the men, the boys. No more raping, violence or in-charge arguments, amongst each other. The gays will gladly step up and be the bitches men want and the mother a boy needs. Mom and dad need to get rid of the fairy tale. Y'all hate each other! 18-Jul-2020
S7E7. It imposes fairytale concoctions on vulnerable beings and grants them the consideration that anyone can get married.
The experts are new age gods matching the expectant with the inexplicable. (I kept seeing nature every time they talked.)
Looks, age, discrepancies and peculiarities don't matter. If you change your outlook, the judgment retires.
People get really seriously brutally honest.
I am spooked, clenched and devoured. 21-Jun-2020
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:
Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick
Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick
Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them
Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose
J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick
Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019