Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Family'
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Matthew Broderick's sister said she received preferential treatment while battling coronavirus
The sister of actor Matthew Broderick said she received preferential treatment at a California hospital while battling the coronavirus.
Janet Broderick, a pastor at All Saints Episcopal Church in Beverly Hills, was hospitalized last month after falling ill upon returning from a conference in Kentucky. She has since recovered and is back home.
Broderick told New York Magazine that her general practitioner didn't know about her famous familial connection and "didn't care very much." But that changed when the pastor went to an emergency room at a Beverly Hills hospital.
"As soon as I got ahold of the guy at the hospital who knew who Matthew was, I was given the name of the head of the emergency room," she said. "Well, trust me, the folks I've spent my lifetime working with in Jersey City would never have been given the name of the head of the emergency room. If they were, it would have been disregarded."
"I think I'm absolute living proof that this system is completely corrupt," she told the outlet.
A healthy 39-year-old DJ died of coronavirus. What his young widow and daughter want you to know
6-Week-Old Baby from Connecticut Dies, Believed to Be World's Youngest Coronavirus Victim: Governor
Chris Cuomo shares covid-19 experience: 'The beast comes at night'
Why the peak is coming after weeks of social distancing
Man, Uncle Murdered on Rural Road Were Hunting to Feed Family After Coronavirus-Related Layoff
On Saturday, as they hunted for food for their families after one lost his job amid the coronavirus pandemic, two Canadian men — an uncle and his nephew — were fatally shot along a rural road in Alberta, and police are investigating who killed them.
According to local reports from the National Post, the Edmonton Journal, and the Calgary Sun, Jake Sansom, 39, and Morris Cardinal, 57, were found dead on Saturday, a day after heading out on a moose hunt.
The Friday hunt was successful, as they returned home with one moose. They immediately went back out for a second.
The bodies were discovered on a country road near a black pickup truck early Saturday morning, north of Glendon, Alberta.
I’m Having a Lifesaving Affair, but Social Distancing Is Keeping Us Apart
Dear How to Do It,
I’m having a wonderful affair with a man. We’re both married, but we’re careful and responsible—it’s what we both need to survive in our marriages, and it’s what’s best for both of us. (Without saying too much, in our situation, divorce would destroy our big, happy, extended immigrant families. I’m not looking for judgment on that.)
The problem is social distancing because of the coronavirus. Our spouses and kids are now both home full time, and getting away to see each other has been impossible. I’m miserable without the sex and companionship, and so is the man I’m seeing. At one point, he suggested meeting in our cars by the grocery store. I obviously declined. Then today, he called me and said to go to my window and waved to me from his car (we live about two neighborhoods apart). I was moved by the gesture, but it worried me. I feel like I am on the verge of doing something risky, and all this time with my husband, who is a kind man, is making me want to lash out and tell him I don’t love him.
What can I do to keep my head on straight here? I would be cast out of my family if this came out, but this whole situation is making me feel out of control.
—Swelter in Place
Coronavirus-panicked dad locks son out of house after spring break trip
Two weeks ago, Matt Levine’s immediate concerns centered on where to find the best happy hour and coolest DJ. Now, he just wants his coronavirus-panicked dad to let him back in the house.
While residents in his hometown of Nanuet, NY, were hunkering down to avoid corona, 21-year-old Matt and his friends from Springfield College in Massachusetts hit up spring break in South Padre Island, Texas — and stayed there against the advice of his father, Peter Levine.
“I spoke with him every day and told him that maybe they should come home,” Peter, 52, and a salesman, told The Post. “I was aggravated. The news here was getting worse and worse. Matt sent me pictures of him and his friends congregating outdoors and listening to live music. It’s the scene you would not want to be in.”
Finally, Peter told Matt and his buddies that they could not stay at the family home after the trip, as they’d planned. “His grandparents live here and there is no need to expose them to god knows what he had been exposed to!” Peter explained.
Miami Resident, Winter Party Attendee Israel Carreras Dies of COVID-19
My Son Wants to Move His Family Across the Country so I Can Be Day Care
Dear Care and Feeding,
We have two adorable grandchildren, 4 and 6, on the other side of the country. Their parents, our son and daughter-in-law, are struggling with debt and living in a one-bedroom apartment. The financial problems are related to their own bad decisions and to serious medical problems, which are mostly resolved but may recur. Our son works remotely, but he needs to be at work, not caring for high-energy rambunctious kids who get very loud and excited playing video games or watching TV. Our daughter-in-law just got a job that involves a lot of overnight travel.
They have decided that the way to get ahead financially is to give up their apartment and move in with us for three months this summer. They would save on rent and child care. At first we were thrilled. We have plenty of room to put the four of them up. But then we faced the reality that they are counting on us for day care. We are both in our 70s and excited about being retired and finally doing the things we couldn’t do when we were both working full time and raising children. We also get overwhelmed after a few days of nonstop child care (which they have counted on us for in the past so they could escape). Putting the kids in day care for nine weeks, which assumes we would take them full time for one week a month, would cost them over $5,000, on top of the cost of storage and moving the four of them and the dog across country. I think they would save about $6,000 in rent over three months. At first I wanted to lay out the math and tell them to rethink their assumptions about free day care.
But we have savings we could use to pay all or part of their day care over the summer (which would still leave us the recommended cushion but little more). We would treasure the time with the children. But part of me thinks we should just let them figure things out. I am sorely conflicted.
—Is This a Good Idea?
Thomas Valva's Mom Says She Was 'Begging' for Help to Save Boy, 8, from Cop Dad's Abuse
For years, Justyna Zubko-Valva fought to expose the alleged physical, emotional, and mental abuse she says her sons suffered at the hands of their father and his fiancée. But the mom says her pleas for help fell on deaf ears — and the system’s failure led to the death of her 8-year-old son, Thomas.
“It’s such a tragedy that could have been prevented so many times by so many people,” Zubko-Valva tells PEOPLE.
On Jan. 17, Thomas died from severe hypothermia after allegedly being forced to spend the previous night in the frigid garage of the Center Moriches, New York, home owned by his father, New York Police Department Transit Officer Michael Valva, 40, and his fiancée, Angela Pollina, 42.
The night prior, Thomas and his older brother, Anthony, who are both on the autism spectrum, were allegedly provided no blankets or pillows, and had to sleep on the ice-cold concrete floor. The next morning, Thomas collapsed and lost consciousness.
Grandparent Deal Breakers: 11 Parents on Why They Cut Ties With Grandma and Grandpa
Grandparents and in-laws can, in certain families, be pretty big pains in the ass. They never admit to past mistakes. They play favorites with the grandkids. They undermine their grown children. They’re bad influences. In such situations, after words have been shared, it’s common for parents of young children to either directly or indirectly cut ties with or restrict time spent with grandparents. Cutting parents out of your life is a major decision, one that comes with a lot of consequences. But for certain parents it’s the right decision. Is it ideal? Absolutely not. But it happens.
“I hate to think this is a problem for a lot of families, but I think I know better. My parents are, for lack of a better word, pretty racist. And they’re not shy. So, it’s really a no-brainer. It’s not worth the risk having them around the kids when who knows what could come out of their mouths, and then be repeated by our kids. My wife agrees with me, but can tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. I’m strictly no tolerance when it comes to the issue. I don’t want that around my kids, my family, or myself.” – Connor, 36, Nevada
Parent resistance thwarts local school desegregation efforts
As they try to address stubborn school segregation, many of the nation's school districts confront a familiar obstacle: resistance from affluent, well-organized and mostly white parents to changes affecting their children’s classrooms.
From New York City to Richmond, Virginia, sweeping proposals to ease inequities have been scaled back or canceled after encountering a backlash. The debates have been charged with emotion and racist rhetoric reminiscent of the aftermath of Brown vs. Board of Education, the U.S. Supreme Court decision that threw out state laws establishing segregated schools.
While the federal government has largely stepped back from the aggressive role it played decades ago in school desegregation, some local districts have acted in recognition of increasingly apparent racial divides and the long-established educational benefits of integration.
I’m Against Catholic Teachings
Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband and I have a fantastic toddler and live in a large city, where we’re looking into private school options. We have whittled our options down to two. Both institutions are amazing places with fantastic, warm, loving staff and parents/guardians/students. One is Catholic, the other is Quaker. We’re trying to decide between the two schools and would love your guidance.
The Catholic school is academically rigorous, has great class sizes, is a Blue Ribbon school, and is a block from where my husband works in case of a midday school emergency. However—and I say this as a product of the parochial school system myself—it promotes Catholic perspectives on premarital sex, homosexuality, abortion, and other beliefs that we don’t subscribe to. The Quaker school, on the other hand, has a progressive curriculum, is designed around project-based learning, does not get homework-heavy until grade 5, and promotes core values that are in alignment with how we are raising our daughter.
The Quaker school’s curriculum—and general vibe—will help our kid develop into a critical thinker and a compassionate contributor to the world. HOWEVER, it is considerably more expensive (it would require some sacrifice on our part), and it would add another hour to our already hectic morning commute. In other words, it will make life more difficult on a day-to-day basis. Since our child will get an excellent education at either place, how do we pick between daily quality of life for us and the values system to which our child will be exposed?
—Waiting for an Answer From the Spirit
Help! Is There a Nice Way to Tell My Husband He’s Racist?
Q. An ugly view I didn’t see before: I’ve been married to my husband for 10 years. He’s a great husband and has always seemed like a compassionate and open-minded person. In the last year or two, however, I’ve been having to call him out on racist language and attitudes. At first it was in the car. He usually drives, and if someone cuts him off or does something he doesn’t like, his language is almost always racist—they’re a “f—ing N-word” or a “f—ing Asian.” Despite my calling him out on it every time, he has gradually gotten bolder about expressing racist attitudes that never surfaced early in our relationship. Today he proudly told how he had joked to a waitress during lunch with the guys, “When you said merry Christmas, you left out my buddy here. He celebrates Kwanzaa, har-de-har-har!” I was horrified that he had made a racist joke in public and told him so. He didn’t see it that way, and we had a terrible argument. I got pretty upset, and I called him a racist. I don’t want to mirror his name-calling, and that only escalated the argument. He insists he is “really not a racist,” but these incidents are giving me an ugly view of him I didn’t see before. I believe he is a good person and is capable of changing this behavior. Can you give me some guidance on language I can use to help him do some self-reflection?
Grandparents sound off: We don’t want to baby-sit!
“From Day 1, I said, ‘I don’t baby-sit,’?” says Betty, a Midwood grandmother who broke the news to her son and his wife when they told her they were expecting. Even so, she agreed to watch their infant one evening when the couple went to a wedding. But she didn’t stay long, calling them to say their baby wouldn’t stop crying. “When they came home, I gave them $20 and I said, ‘Go hire a baby sitter.’?”
Still, the 65-year-old — who asked that her last name not be used, for privacy reasons — insists that her refusal to baby-sit has nothing to do with her love for her children. “I feel like I paid my dues,” she says, adding that, as a stay-at-home mother, she never had any outside help caring for her brood. “I’d rather be honest with my kids than resent them. My friends who [baby-sit] will privately say they resent it.”
Should I Intervene With a Kid Who Says He Is Depressed?
Dear Care and Feeding,
My 11-year-old son has been friends with “Paul” for more than two years. During that time, Paul has been suspended from school multiple times for his language (he drops the F-bomb constantly, has called his teacher the B-word, etc.) and disruptive behavior. He’s known to deliver very colorful commentary on how he sees the world, shouting out some particularly interesting bits at times. Nevertheless, Paul is a smart and sensitive kid, and I am rooting for him. We all are.
The reason I’m writing is because Paul recently told my son that he sneaks and drinks his mother’s vodka when he’s feeling depressed, which is “most of the time,” in his words. He has mentioned those feelings before, and I’m also aware that telling tall tales is part of his swagger. For the most part, we take them in stride, but the combination of the alleged drinking and depression made me pause. I’m honestly not sure if Paul is just trying to look cool or if he’s trying to ask for help.
My plan, which I shared with my son, is to wait and see if Paul ever talks to me about these issues, and to then talk to a grown-up who has some oversight in his life, i.e., the school principal or his teacher. I wonder if I’m doing enough or if I should do more, though I’m not even sure what that would entail, as a conversation with his parents seems impossible—they are not at all approachable. Am I just sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong? Your thoughts are appreciated.
—All Eyes on Paul
The doctor will accuse you now
A recent essay in Time Magazine called for a massive expansion of the nanny state through mandatory medical screening of children for signs of child abuse. The proposal, which is based on the assumption that racial bias is causing doctors to miss some cases of abuse, would strip doctors of the ability to apply reasoned, clinical judgment to cases and would require them to subject children to a battery of x-rays whenever bruising or other marks are noticed. Proponents of the plan — not its opponents, mind you — have given it the appropriately dystopian moniker, “think less, screen more.”
Perhaps as shocking as the plan itself is how nonchalant the essay’s authors, Dr. Richard Klasco and Dr. Daniel Lindberg, are about the life-altering consequences of their proposal. In an apparent attempt to downplay the harm that their plan will cause, Klasco and Lindberg wrongly suggest that the worst that will happen if they get their way is “some non-abused children will be screened, and some non-abusive parents will be offended.”
Back Off, Mom
My mom thinks she’ll help care for my first child, but she couldn’t be more wrong. How do I make this clear?
Dear Care and Feeding,
My husband and I want to have our first kid soon. Before we start trying, we need to figure out how to handle my mother.
We aren’t close at all. I maintain a polite relationship with her to minimize guilt trips and dramatics that arise when I keep the much-greater distance I would prefer. She’s learned that there will probably be a kid eventually, and she’s become obsessed with moving near me and being “Grandma’s Babysitting Service.” I’ve tried telling her that wouldn’t work for us, but she says, “You have no idea how hard it will be, especially after the second” or “Why have babies if you’re going to dump them at some day care?” or “You can’t afford good child care.”
We can afford day care, and while it’s expensive, more importantly, it’s not my mother. She was a big believer in corporal punishment and severe “Tiger Mom” parenting methods. I would never leave a kid with her unattended for even a few minutes.
We have major differences in values, and she thinks it’s her responsibility that her grandchildren participate in her religion (she embraces its most judgmental and hateful aspects), which is unacceptable to my husband and me. I don’t want her “help” raising my child, and I don’t want to deal with her guilt trips, unsolicited advice, and other intrusions into the happy and stable life I’ve built for myself.
She claims all her friends live near their grandbabies and take care of them when the parents have to go to work, and that it’s not fair that she might not get to do the same. She has started looking at homes in our area (where she knows no one but us), and, as she can’t afford to live in the city, she’s started telling us to move to the suburbs and get a house with enough room for her to live with us. This is not happening. Is there a way to handle this short of full estrangement while she’s living in a fantasy world and not my metro area?
Dad murdered autistic sons by driving off pier: prosecutors
Children Cannot Parent Other Children
A fundamental truth about children is that they have needs they cannot themselves fulfill. They need people who acquire and prepare food for them, and people who look out for their safety and cleanliness. Beyond those material needs, they also need people who care for them emotionally, tending to them when they are sick and supporting them through tough times. Normally these duties fall to parents, but they can also fall to relatives, family friends, babysitters, teachers, or social workers. At the border, in detention centers, they are falling to other detained children, a harrowing detail in a sea of harrowing details now being reported.
Lawyers who visited a border station in Clint, Texas, this week told the Associated Press that during their visit, they encountered small children who had been taken from their parents under the Trump administration’s family-separation policy, some of them infants and toddlers, who are receiving little time or attention from adult caregivers or supervisors. Instead, some detained children receive affection and care—such as being held, rocked, bathed, fed, and even changed—only from other, slightly older detained children. As the AP reported Saturday: