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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Relationships'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

Help! My Husband Has Been Sexting His Cousin. 

 

Q. I want to puke: I recently found out that my husband has been sexting his cousin! I’m at a loss. Just devastated. It’s bad enough that he has been sexting another woman, but it is with his first cousin and it has been going on for years! We’ve been married for 30 years! I feel like if it were any other woman, I could deal with this. And, my God, I wish it was someone else.

I feel trapped! I feel like I can’t talk to anyone about this! All I can think of is how disgusting and disappointed my children, who are in their 20s, and his family would be. We spend a lot of time together with his family and are very close. (No pun intended.) His sisters are like sisters to me. In fact, one of the sisters is best friends with the cousin! I can’t think straight! Please help me help myself! They both have said it hasn’t gone beyond texting, but from the messages I saw, I believe it would or could have.

Help! My Husband Has Been Sexting His Cousin.

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Environment, Etiquette, Family, Horniness, Lifestyle, Marriage, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Misconduct, Opportunity, Relationships, Sex

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01-Mar-2021


Help! My Aunt Says It’s a “Choice” to Be Offended by Racial Slurs. 

 

Q. Aunt wants to “get over” racial slurs: My aunt (father’s sister) and I have had a fairly acrimonious relationship since I was in my teens, mostly because of her dislike of my mother. Fast forward to Christmas of this year, when I texted my aunt and her husband to thank them for some cookies they sent me. We started talking again, exchanging memes and discussing our shared love of photography, in what I had hoped was a fresh start. Talk turned to politics eventually, because we both believed our politics aligned somewhat—me more as a leftist, and her a liberal.

However, when I mentioned that I was happy to see white people experience consequences when they used slurs such as the N-word, she said it was a “choice” to be offended by slurs like that, and how people needed to get over it. She even spelled it out. I was totally bewildered. We are both white women. I told her it was inappropriate and racist for her to write or say that word. She continued to use it, saying she should be able to because it was “just a word.” I went on to provide her with multiple sources about why it was offensive and racist. She then said how I was “looking for reasons to have contempt for her” and how she and “the family” have never understood why I’ve always hated her. This went on and on until I eventually stopped responding. However, she’s texted me every day this past week, trying to talk again like nothing’s happened. So how do I address the obvious racism with someone who thinks she’s “the most accepting and multicultural person in our family” for one, and secondly, always makes herself out to be the victim when I disagree with her on anything?

Help! My Aunt Says It’s a “Choice” to Be Offended by Racial Slurs.

Tags: Advice, Argument, Choices, Family, Judgment, Misconduct, Racism, Relationships, Segregation, Struggling, Treatment, Words

Permalink

18-Feb-2021


What causes some men to be unkind, provocative, aggressive or violent towards women? 

 

One of the reasons that some men are unkind and aggressive is that their emotional armor has been completely anhililated by previous NPD drama bitches. And men these days cannot defend themselves because they are immediately tried and convicted in the court of public opinion.

What causes some men to be unkind, provocative, aggressive or violent towards women?

Tags: Environment, Hate, Hostility, Irony, Men, Mental Health, Parental Crime, Portrait, Psychology, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex War, Truth

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17-Feb-2021


My Girlfriend Likes Role-Playing as My Grandma 

 

Dear Prudence,

To celebrate a milestone, my girlfriend dressed up as a 100-year-old lady; apparently this is fairly common. However, she didn’t stop there. She has now created an elderly alter-ego and expects to be treated as a grandmother while in this mode. She said it’s like crossdressing and even suggested that I dress up so that I can be her “granddaughter.” She has previously made me up, but it was only a costume; I never felt like a different person. She said that it would be fun to go out as grandmother and granddaughter, with me holding her arm or pushing her in a wheelchair. I feel like that might be disrespectful to actual old or disabled people. But I always want to make my girlfriend happy. Should I participate in this?

—Ancient Alter-Ego

My Girlfriend Likes Role-Playing as My Grandma

Tags: Advice, Environment, Etiquette, Fear, Mental Health, Relationships, Sex, Weird, Women In Charge

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21-Jan-2021


Men Find Bromances 'Emotionally Rival' Romantic Relationships, Study Reveals 

 

Men find that platonic friendships with other men 'emotionally rival' their romantic relationships with women, according to a study in Men and Masculinities.

Those surveyed said 'the lack of boundaries and judgment' in their friendships with other men resulted in 'elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution, compared to the emotional lives they shared with girlfriends'.

Most of the participants answers to the survey also made reference to the fact they felt more like they could be their real self with their bros.

As one respondent said: "Tim knows I love listening to Taylor Swift and Beyoncé, but I keep that quiet [around my girlfriend] because she would judge me. I feel like I have to be more manly around her."

Men Find Bromances 'Emotionally Rival' Romantic Relationships, Study Reveals

Tags: Bromance, Choices, Environment, Evolution, Friendship, Investment, Lifestyle, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Nature, Priorities, Psychology, Relationships, Self-esteem, Study, Support, Treatment, Youth

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25-Dec-2020


Should I Make My Wife Sign a Contract for Every Decision We Make? 

 

Dear Prudence,

My wife is beautiful, smart, fun, and we complement each other in a lot of ways. But we cannot for the life of us figure out how to stick to a compromise. When we disagree, we’ll talk about it and come to an agreement, then a few days later, she’ll bring it up again, saying I “need to work with [her] and move to the middle.” For example, when her family would want to visit in pre-COVID days, we’d always have to discuss how long they’d stay in advance, otherwise they’d show up with no departure date in mind. She’d want them to stay for two weeks. I’d want a few days. We’d agree on a week, and then she’d get on the phone with them and say, “OK, you can stay for 12 days.” When I protest, she says I need to be more flexible.

This kind of moving-the-goal-post thing happens constantly, with things both big and small, and I’m not sure how to handle it, especially with the big stuff. I’ve half-jokingly told her I’m going to have her sign contracts when we agree on something and put in the fridge so she doesn’t forget. Short of drafting fake legal documents, what can we do?

—Where’s the Middle?

Should I Make My Wife Sign a Contract for Every Decision We Make?

Tags: Advice, Choices, Etiquette, Marriage, Relationships

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24-Dec-2020


Cheating boyfriend gets caught in the act thanks to secret message on Starbucks cup: 'The audacity' 

 

A new TikTok trend has users sharing the “craziest” ways they’ve discovered they were being cheated on.

The trend started on Nov. 27 when user Mandi Kay Bowles asked her followers the question, “What is the craziest way you guys found out that somebody was cheating on you?”

One user named Brittany revealed in a now-viral TikTok that she found out a guy who she’d been seeing for three years was cheating when he gave her a very specific type of UTI caused by E. coli in her urine.

“I was like, ‘There’s no way, I’m always clean.’ Well, turns out my boyfriend actually didn’t go to the gym; he was having sex with another man,” she explained. He had sex with her immediately after having sex with another man, which gave her the UTI.

Cheating boyfriend gets caught in the act thanks to secret message on Starbucks cup: 'The audacity'

Tags: Awareness, Backlash, Cheating, LGBTQ, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Nature, Portrait, Relationships, Sex, Social Media

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11-Dec-2020


Why it will take a village to save our sons

 

And as a parent myself, right now it feels like we're forming future adults in an environment where there's more distraction and disconnection than ever in human history.
From the cultural turbulence caused by uncertainty and polarization, to the endless social media and entertainment options, there's a long list of diversions competing for our kids' attention -- making it that much harder to connect with teens in ways that foster their healthy development as they move into young adulthood.

Research has shown this can be particularly challenging if those teens are male. Boys have been found to have higher high school dropout rates than girls, as well as higher suicide rates. They're struggling with technology, too: A 2007 survey found that young men are two to three times more likely than girls to feel addicted to video games.

In my work with families as a stress management and communication specialist, I've found that some young men have put so much attention on their digital devices that they've stopped connecting with their natural drive to become more responsible for their own well-being as a result.

In the summer of 1999, I heard about a wilderness adventure camp for young men in Vancouver, British Columbia. The leader of this event, Brad Leslie, invited me to serve as a volunteer while my son attended the camp as a participant. I needed the help of a village of men, he told me, to raise my son.

Why it will take a village to save our sons

I empathize with the concern but the solution is more Boy Scouts? 30-Nov-2020

Tags: Effect, Emasculation, Environmentalist, Etiquette, Lifestyle, Men, Mental Health, Minority, Parental Burden, Parental Laziness, Relationships, Training, Women In Charge

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30-Nov-2020


I Want to Buy My Boyfriend an Ax for Christmas, but I’m Afraid He’ll Maim Himself 
 

I am getting a head start on the winter holidays by drawing up an early gift list, but I am stuck on one recipient in particular. My boyfriend is generally handy and especially enjoys building fires, and he has expressed interest in chopping wood for the last few fires we’ve had. Great, I thought—I can get him a high-quality ax or hatchet for Christmas. But then I started thinking about the potential for injuries. I have anxiety and know it can skew my perception of things, so I’m trying to think it through rationally. My boyfriend is very aware of safety and risk assessments in daily life, but he’s also not the most spatially aware person. He can be clumsy by himself or with others, especially after a few drinks. He’s also never been trained in any kind of ax safety. I still think he’d be delighted by this present, and part of me wants to be convinced by that alone, but another part of me thinks that even having an ax around would kick my fear of accidental injury into permanent overdrive. Should I try to muscle through the anxiety or start looking for a different present? Or is there a compromise here that would satisfy both my fears and my desire to impress with a cool gift?

—Ax Anxiety

I Want to Buy My Boyfriend an Ax for Christmas, but I’m Afraid He’ll Maim Himself

Tags: Advice, Confusion, Etiquette, Gifts, Investment, Relationships, Threat, Weird

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21-Nov-2020


It’s the incendiary bloke-bashing bestseller the French tried to ban. Now, as it reignites the battle of the sexes here, FLORA GILL dares say... I admit it, I hate men 

 

There's many a woman who, after a dreadful first date or a bout of office mansplaining, has uttered the words ‘I hate men’.

I have often heard friends say that very thing. In fact, at some point in her life, I bet practically every woman has said it.

But if pressed on the point, many would add that, of course, they don’t really hate the opposite sex. After all, we have men in our lives we don’t hate — a brother, a father, a best friend.

So when a woman stands up and insists she really does hate men, it causes something of a stir.

I admit it, I hate men

Tags: Awareness, Books, Environment, Feminism, Hate, Men, Relationships, Release, Woman's Rights, Women In Charge

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12-Nov-2020


Why Do Married Men Watch Porn? 

 

If I told you that I only watch porn for research in sociology, you’d likely call bullshit. And you’d be right. My husband and I have been together for thirty-three years. We have what sex advice columnist Dan Savage calls a “monogamish” relationship.

Passionate sex in a new relationship has a shelf life of about one year for all couples. Our story is no different. The things that drew us together still hold us together. Neither of us has any desire to change that.

Trying to discover how many married men watch porn is like the old joke about masturbation. The joke says, “95% of men admit to masturbating. The other 5% lie about it.” Men don’t like to admit they watch porn either. But even those of us in satisfying, committed relationships masturbate and watch porn.

One man told me about how he had watched porn at the office before going home, and then he masturbated. That evening his spouse wanted to have sex, and he hesitated. He had difficulty achieving an erection. She decided to perform oral sex on him, which in the past had helped him have a rigid erection. When she did so, she found some tissue stuck to his penis from his earlier masturbation.

Why Do Married Men Watch Porn?

Tags: Aging, Environment, Marriage, Masturbation, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Nature, Portrait, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Statistics, Woman's Rights

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12-Nov-2020


Dear Therapist: I Had a Great Relationship With My In-Laws. Then Everything Changed. 

 

My husband and I have been together for seven years and married for three. We have a 1-year-old daughter together.

It took me a long time to get into a relationship; I wanted to find someone I could get along with, but also in-laws I could get along with, because I grew up watching my parents fight about their parents all the time. When my husband and I first met, his family was very kind to me. In fact, his family and I often joke that I married him because his family was so awesome.

After I gave birth to our daughter, everything changed. I am suddenly being judged for not being a good mom, for not having a job, for not losing my pregnancy weight fast enough. My husband does not want to be stuck in the middle, and even though he’ll speak to his parents about this, nothing gets resolved, because he doesn’t push them for any kind of resolution. He basically tells them something they did wasn’t nice, they acknowledge it and sometimes apologize, and then they make more unnecessary comments.

My in-laws purchased a home for us after the birth of our baby. I realize now that this purchase came with a lot of strings attached. They want to see their granddaughter whenever it is convenient for them—not for us or when it’s best for our daughter. They don’t practice social distancing. When I bring this up to my husband, he tells me that we need to be accommodating to his parents because they purchased the home for us and we’d be considered ungrateful. I tell him that I’d be happy to move and rent if I would have more control over my life and my daughter’s. He says his parents would view this as a “slap in the face.”

As much as I love my husband, I feel like the relationship I have with my in-laws is making this marriage difficult, because at the end of the day, he’ll choose his parents’ feelings over mine.

I don’t want my daughter growing up to see us fighting about her grandparents, as I did with my parents. Many times I’ve found myself holding my tongue to keep the peace. I want to set clear boundaries with my in-laws but also have a great relationship with them.

Do you have any insight for me?

Anonymous
Toronto

Dear Therapist: I Had a Great Relationship With My In-Laws. Then Everything Changed.

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Environment, Family, Hostility, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Relationships, Respect, Threat

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09-Nov-2020


Help! How Do I Talk to My Husband About the Creepy Thing He’s Doing on Instagram? 

 

Q. My husband’s “Likes”: We have close family friends with a beautiful and charming 19-year-old daughter. She is like a niece to us. My husband has made her uncomfortable twice by remarking, “Mmm! Look at Kelly!” when she’s entered a room dressed up for an outing or work. (The “Mmm!” being the sort of sound one makes in appreciation of a delicious-looking food, for example.) Her discomfort was clear—she turned red and exited the room both times.

He now is following her on Instagram and “likes” EVERY single post she puts up. (And she posts frequently!) I’ve spoken to him about not commenting on her appearance, especially with the loud, “Mmm!” noise. He seemed slightly mortified. Do I need to suggest he stop with all the Instagram attention? It seems kinda creepy to me, but perhaps I am seeing something that isn’t even an issue. I remember receiving unwanted attention from middle-aged men in my teen years, so I could be projecting here.

Help! How Do I Talk to My Husband About the Creepy Thing He’s Doing on Instagram?

Salt Life Co-Founder Reportedly Admits to Killing Teen Girlfriend

Tags: Advice, Awareness, Business, Choices, Crime, Daddy Squish, Environment, Etiquette, Family, Marriage, Men In Charge, Murder, Parenting, Priorities, Relationships, Respect, Responsibility, Safety, Sex, Threat, Youth

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09-Nov-2020


My Boyfriend’s Mom Suddenly Hates Me


 

Dear Prudence,

I’ve been dating an Asian American man for the better part of a year, and he’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. His mother and I got along for about six months. I was invited over for dinner, stayed at their house (he lives with his parents), and we even exchanged phone numbers. My boyfriend agrees that I was polite to her and never stepped on her toes. Recently they got into an argument (she didn’t know I was there), and she went on a tirade about how he shouldn’t bring his “little girlfriend” into her house anymore, that I was not a member of their family and was no longer welcome. He tried to reassure me that it was something she said in the heat of the moment, but she’s stood by those words. I’m devastated.

I can’t stop thinking that perhaps she wanted her son to date someone else. My free trial in their home has expired, and she’s ready for her son to date a woman from their heritage. When I’ve been in the house since then, she stands in the backyard until I leave. English is not her first language, and I’m not sure it’d be productive for me to talk to her myself. What would you do in this situation?

—No Longer Welcome

My Boyfriend’s Mom Suddenly Hates Me

Tags: Advice, Culture, Dating, Environment, Family, Hate, Judgment, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Preference, Relationships, Termination, Threat

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08-Nov-2020


My Daughter’s New Friends (and Their Parents) Are Terribly Racist 

 

My husband and I (as well as our daughter, “Chloe”) moved to a new state about a year and a half ago. We live in an extremely White suburb that is surrounded by a large, non-White city. We wanted to live in the city, but the crime rate caused us to look elsewhere. As a result, everyone in our neighborhood is White. There are eight other children that live in our neighborhood that are around my daughter’s age (she’s 7). The first few months were great, and she was constantly going over to other kids’ houses to play or inviting them here. She was a little socially behind in our last town, so I was happy she had made friends. But then I started to notice that her friends were terribly racist, and after inviting the kids’ parents over for dinner … the parents are racist too. Not just microaggressions or an off-color joke (which would be bad enough by itself), but just full-on, blatant racism. Even my husband, who is from a small town that still has Klan activity, was shocked and appalled.

I don’t want my daughter spending time with these children. When the pandemic happened, we didn’t have to worry about it too much because no one was seeing anyone. But the neighborhood kids have started spending time together again (at a distance), and my daughter has been asking to go outside and play. The kids have also come and knocked on the door a few times asking for my daughter, but I made up an excuse. On the one hand, I don’t want to deprive my daughter of friends (she goes to an extremely small magnet school and isn’t really fitting in there, not to mention her classmates live 30-plus minutes away). On the other hand, I don’t want her to befriend racists! My daughter recently told me she had been feeling left out. What do I do?

—Not Raising a Racist

My Daughter’s New Friends (and Their Parents) Are Terribly Racist

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Environment, Fear, Friendship, Hate, Mental Health, Neighbor, Parental Burden, Politics, Racism, Relationships, Safety, Substitute, Treatment, Weird

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06-Nov-2020




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