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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Relationships'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

How Do I Tell My Curvy Wife About My Secret Desire for a Thin Woman?

 

Dear How to Do It,

My wife and I have been married 14 years and together for 17. We have a pretty strong relationship after a period of stagnation. With raising kids, both of our careers, and all the activities, we found ourselves drained. We have in the last few years refocused on us and our desires and our sex life, intimacy, and our togetherness has grown and reignited.

In this time, my wife has expressed her desire for a kinkier sex life. She kept it to herself all those years (thank you, religion!), her desire for light BDSM (blindfolds, being restrained), and also her desire to be filled and stretched by big dildos. We have explored this. I wasn’t really on board at first, but she was patient with me, and I’ve become accepting of participating and inviting in those things and ideas that give her pleasure. But when it turns back to me, I have one recurring fantasy and I am very reluctant to share it with her. Scared might be a better word. She has always been blessed with a gorgeous body that is beautiful, curvy, and full. I adore her. I adore and crave her body. But I I have this fantasy and curiosity of what it would be like to have sex with a woman who is thin. My wife’s weight limits what we do, position-wise, so she is comfortable. And I am on board with that. We do have fun. But I wonder and fantasize about what it would be like to be more athletic with a partner. To be able to lift her. Or have her on top of me light as a feather. We have had conversations along these lines relating to penis size. She craves the feeling a big dildo gives her, and I’m average. But the last thing I want to do is engage in any form of body shame with her. I love her body. I show her I love her and her body. I also am curious about smaller bodies. What would it be like? We are each other’s only partners.

Do you have any advice for how to explore this together with each other and in a way that is loving and caring for her while also honoring my fantasy? Or with the delicacy of body shame, am I best to keep this one tucked away? With the dildos, I have had to work through shame about my size. It was hard at first. It’s getting easier as we move forward. I see that she enjoys that feeling of the toy and also enjoys me. It isn’t one or the other. She reminds me that she likes what she likes—she likes both. Me and big dildos. I enjoy having sex with her. I’m just curious if there are any creative ways to explore this fantasy with her in a caring way. To be clear, I don’t want to open things up. This is not a backdoor plea to do that. We talked about nonmonogamy as an option for her large dildo/cock desire. She wanted to open up, and I did not. After playing with the toys and role-playing, we concluded monogamy is for us as the toys, plus my presence and care, satisfy her desire to feel full. She asks what I fantasize about and desire. If I’m being honest, this is it—sex with a different-shape body. But sharing this seems very precarious, and I do not want to hurt or shame her in any way.

—Thin Man

How Do I Tell My Curvy Wife About My Secret Desire for a Thin Woman?

Tags: Advice, Boredom, Choices, Marriage, Men, NSFW, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Weight

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17-Sep-2020


I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women 

 

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 34-year-old straight, male virgin. I don’t have any trouble talking to women, frequently match with attractive women on dating apps, and often get to first base. I’ve even gotten to the “finish line” a few times, even getting to fingering and cunnilingus, but between being so nervous I can’t get it up, putting my foot in my mouth, and pure terror, I’ve always screwed it up. My first time in bed with a woman (someone I’d just met at a party), at age 27, it was the nerves, but the five subsequent times, in my 30s, I guess I didn’t even know where to begin. In all but one case, I told them I was a virgin, and only once was this a specific issue for my partner. All of them were women I met on a dating app, on the second or third date, except one that I was in a two-month sort of relationship with.

I’ve noticed that I don’t find the vagina particularly sexy. Could this be an issue? I’m also uncircumcised (this is common in my part of the world), and part of me fears tearing off the foreskin.

I feel like I’m missing out on a key part of the human experience. Maybe being in love with my partner would help, but frankly I haven’t been in love in a good 10 years. Maybe I just need to be so consumed by lust that I can’t overthink it, but does that even happen? It’s even crossed my mind to visit a prostitute and get it over with, but then I think really couldn’t get it up—the thought of a partner who is likely not the least bit attracted to you is a massive turn-off to me. I’m interested in your thoughts. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.

—Frustrated

I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women

Tags: Advice, Perception, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Sex Identity

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16-Sep-2020


My OCD Makes Me Anxious About Being Dirty. Here's How I Have Sex 

 

People often throw the phrase "obsessive-compulsive disorder" (OCD) around as jokey shorthand for being excessively particular or high-strung, casting the disorder as a sort of innocuous, yet desexualizing, set of anxieties.

But OCD isn’t a quirk. It's a mental health condition that more than 2 percent of people experience at some point. It takes the random thoughts that flash through people's heads—that irrational fear of having done something wrong, or an unbidden, bizarre fantasy—and, instead of allowing them to quickly fade, forces them to the forefront of their minds in distressing spirals. Because these obsessions don’t respond well to reason, people with OCD develop rituals in an attempt to bring themselves relief from those anxieties. But that relief is fleeting, and people get stuck in this cycle of obsession and ritual. Many become dependent on a growing list of compulsions, which can become their own sources of anxiety and shame.

Obsessions and rituals can bleed directly into sex, as well. People with contamination obsessions often talk about fixating on the perceived dirtiness of genitals or bodily fluids and putting up hard limits on how they have sex. By some estimates, at least one in 10 people with OCD will also at some point develop obsessions about sex, constantly questioning their sexualities or worrying they might be developing harmful urges and building rituals into their relationships, their masturbation habits, their engagement with porn, to test or reassure themselves about their desires. Fears of being misunderstood—or actually dangerous—force some people with sexual obsessions to avoid intimacy altogether. Often, current or potential romantic partners who face the realities of OCD write those with the condition off as just too much.

My OCD Makes Me Anxious About Being Dirty. Here's How I Have Sex

My mother has OCD and has been in a successful, sexual relationship with my stepfather for over 40 years. He isn't OCD but acquired it for mama satisfaction. Extra body scrubs don't hurt if she's worth it. (The cheating bastard.) 14-Sep-2020

Tags: Advice, Awareness, Effect, Mental Health, Priorities, Relationships, Safety, Sex, Vulnerable

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14-Sep-2020


Help! My Boyfriend’s Sister Acts Like I’m Her Romantic Rival. 

 

Q. My boyfriend is in a co-dependent relationship with his sister: My good friend “Mary” set me up with her brother “Jim” in January, when he moved in with her from out of state. We’ve been dating ever since. While Mary was happy for us, she was sad to not have a partner herself. So when Jim told me in March that he was going to prioritize her feelings because she was having a hard time, I understood. (By that time we were a “pod” of three, and being the third wheel can be rough.) Initially, their close sibling friendship seemed nice. But then Mary got possessive. She told me privately that they had fulfilled the emotional role of romantic partners for each other for years. She said she saw me as “the other woman.” At one point Mary asked Jim to stop texting me in the evenings so he could be more “present” when he was with her. Jim agreed that her behavior was unreasonable but said he didn’t want to change too much because Mary was struggling emotionally. Mary is in therapy and told me recently that we both need to stop making Jim “responsible” for our feelings. But I don’t think I have! I felt hurt and unsupported in the spring. I want to be compassionate toward Mary. But I suspect she and my boyfriend are co-dependent, and I want it to stop. What should I do? Or am I being selfish and I need to work on being empathetic toward my friend, who is lonely, and her brother, who is trying to support her?

Help! My Boyfriend’s Sister Acts Like I’m Her Romantic Rival.

Tags: Advice, Family, Friendship, Incest, Mental Health, Relationships, Treatment, Weird

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14-Sep-2020


Sex education has been updated for the modern world — from sexting and pornography to gender identity 

 

For the first time since 2000, the official guidance on relationships and sex education (RSE) in England is changing. From this month, RSE is mandatory in every secondary school, regardless of whether they are state or private (though the Government has said it will make allowances for schools as yet unable to implement the change because of the coronavirus crisis).

Relationships education – which is now compulsory in every primary school – will mainly deal with families and friendships. It will cover the risks of online relationships, digital privacy, physical boundaries and recognising abusive behaviour.

But will the new guidance protect and empower young people for sex and relationships in a modern world?“The curriculum puts the physical health and emotional wellbeing of young people at its core,” Chiquita Henson, headteacher of Cirencester Deer Park School, a secondary school in Gloucestershire, tells i.

Sex education has been updated for the modern world — from sexting and pornography to gender identity

Gucci heir alleges decades of sexual abuse by stepfather, family cover-up

Dance teacher, 24, ‘raped boy, 15, and drove him to drink with her sex attacks’

Gay man was having the time of his life in the forest with his dating app Romeo. Minutes later, he was murdered

I welcome and respect sex education but will its reach push it too far? Are we going to spin tales of delusions and what ofs? This is a mom and dad job too.

RED ALERT:
1. Pedos of the future are lining up to talk to your kids about relationships and sex as we speak.
2. Will there be show & tell?
3. "Show me," will become popular in the gym and the showers.
4. Are we going to crack youngling egg-shell brain and discuss cheating? That they may wolf, wander and get bitten a lot?
5. Tell the boys with small penises they need to learn to bottom? There are no preferences in the future. All sex is transformative and a unit for the cause.
6. Jealousy. Clench baby clench.
7. Mothers. Stop making candy for the pedos. No candy, no eating, no pedos. Pedo Punishment: having to roll back home to fuck their wives for an eternity.

Just a thought. 09-Sep-2020

Tags: App, Celebrity, Children, Choices, Dating, Education, Enforcement, Family, Gay, Health, Instructional, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Minors, Murder, Parental Crime, Policy, Politics, Portrait, Psychology, Punishment, Rape, Relationships, Responsibility, Sex, Students, Teacher, Treatment, Weird, World

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09-Sep-2020


Attention Men, Intercourse Alone Brings Few Women to Orgasm 

 

Intercourse reliably brings around 95 percent of men to orgasm. What proportion of women climax that way? Substantially fewer than many, if not most men imagine.

The general—mistaken—male view is that, like men, the vast majority of women can reliably have orgasms during vaginal intercourse. That’s what most movies and TV shows present. The guy mounts the gal. He thrusts a few times. She moans in supposed ecstasy. And then it appears they both come. Actually, this is nonsense that miseducates men and frustrates many women.

In 2018, other Indiana University published a survey of a representative 1,055 American women age 18 to 94. Only 18 percent—about one in six—said they could come from intercourse alone. The rest—82 percent—said they needed direct clitoral stimulation. And 36 percent said that no matter how they climaxed, orgasms felt more satisfying when the lovemaking included gentle, extended clitoral caresses.

Attention Men, Intercourse Alone Brings Few Women to Orgasm

Tags: Advice, Instructional, Relationships, Sacrifice, Sex, Success

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01-Sep-2020


Is It Appropriate for a Teacher to Swim With Her Teenage Students? 

 

Dear Care and Feeding,

Last weekend, my wife’s and my mutual friend had a pool party for her 16-year-old daughter’s birthday party (at our condo pool). The birthday girl invited male and female schoolmates to the party, all around 15-to-17-year-olds. My wife started to put on her one-piece swimsuit to join the swimming until I stopped her. I felt like it was inappropriate for her to consider swimming with a bunch of teenagers, since she is a teacher at that school. She stated that it was a one piece and only one kid there was a student of hers. Plus, this was outside of school. I still didn’t agree with it, and she decided not to do it, for me. Was I wrong on this?

P.S. There were just three adults. Our friend, my wife, and me. The friend would have swam if my wife got in also, but our friend isn’t a teacher at the school.

—Teacher in a Swimsuit

Is It Appropriate for a Teacher to Swim With Her Teenage Students?

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Employment, Entertainment, Etiquette, Parental Burden, Relationships, Youth

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28-Aug-2020


If Not Sex Addicted, Then What? 

 

The couple looked troubled. Everything that they thought they'd figured out, that had been explained by their pastor, no longer made sense. "OK, then, if it's not sex addiction, what is the problem?" A moment passed. Then another. "Well," I said, "for starters, it's worse than you think."

Sex addiction, as a pseudoscientific concept, is so very emotionally appealing. First of all, it definitely labels the objectionable sexual conduct as a disease and nothing but a disease so, really, there's no need to look any further. But the reason I told my clients it's worse than what they thought is because it's not the so-called addict who has a problem. The problem is about them as a couple.

If Not Sex Addicted, Then What?

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Choices, Environment, Etiquette, Freedom, Marriage, Mental Health, Misrepresentation, Modernization, Psychology, Relationships, Sex, Treatment

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25-Aug-2020


Can I Really Dump Friends Just Because They’re Conservative? 

 

Dear Care and Feeding,

During the current political environment and COVID-19 pandemic, I feel the country is heavily divided. My husband, our 10-year old daughter, and I are all progressive liberals. However, one of the families we have hung out with since our daughter was 5 is our polar opposite.

They are Trump supporters, make racist comments, don’t believe in climate change, do not support public education, think the whole COVID situation is a political hoax, and don’t wear masks. We have not hung out with this family since before the pandemic.

When we used to hang out, they would drop racist comments toward me (I am Asian) and say it was just a joke, or do things we don’t approve of (steal, tread off trail), or now they find us ridiculous to be social distancing. We have had five years of hanging out and traveling together. But, this year, the divide has made me wonder. Is it wrong to not want to hang out with people who has opposite views and do things that I find lack morals? We’ve been social distancing anyway, and this may be an opportunity for us to part ways.

—Is Breaking Up Hard to Do?

Can I Really Dump Friends Just Because They’re Conservative?

Tags: Advice, Choices, Politics, Racism, Relationships

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25-Aug-2020


Dear Abby: Man smells trouble in wife’s last-minute trip extension 

 

DEAR ABBY: I have been married a little over a year. My wife took a trip to Florida to get some things out of storage, and turned it into a two-week vacation. She's now traveling back with the in-laws, which I wasn't expecting.

Yesterday she announced she doesn't want to talk to anyone, including me, and will only text for the next three days during the trip because she's too tired. I feel rejected and like yesterday's news because she hardly calls me and she almost forgot to say goodnight. I don't think this is healthy for our relationship, and I have separation anxiety to boot. Is this normal? -- NEWLYWED GUY IN IOWA

Dear Abby: Man smells trouble in wife’s last-minute trip extension

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Relationships, Sex

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23-Aug-2020


My Partner and His Bros Joke About Gay Sex All the Time 

 

Dear How to Do It,

My partner and I have been together for six happy years. Here is my (female) problem: He and our gaming friends (all male) have this habit of making gay jokes constantly. They think it is hysterical to just tack some fellatio-related quip onto every. damn. sentence. I’m exaggerating, but it is frequent. I am part of a text chain with these guys, and it is relentless—I rely on my husband to tell me when we have plans with them because I have to mute it unless I want to be inundated. These jokes aren’t hateful, per se, but they’re just constantly referencing gay, male-on-male sex, and to me, there often seems to be no discernible punchline. I see and speak to these men (and they are indeed men—we’re well out of our 20s) often and consider games with them to be a huge and rewarding component of my social life. I am the only person in the group who is not a hetero man, and I feel that if I try to say “Enough, already!,” I stand to slightly alienate myself, though they’d respect my preference.

I must say that I have never seen even a hint of outright bigotry from any of them. My partner is super kind to my close gay buddy and his partner and doesn’t act uncomfortable in the slightest when they are affectionate around us. He has embraced them with no issue whatsoever and considers them some of our best friends. In my experience, the friends have also been completely normal around them, and two other group members also have great relationships with gay family members. In fact, one guy expressed a purely religious judgment about homosexuality once (to someone outside the group), and everyone else has discussed how gross it was.

So what is my question? Well … is this a thing? Do hetero guys really talk like this, or are they just anomalous pervs? Is there any chance they stick to the gay stuff because they don’t want to be gross about sex with women with me around? Do I need to “stand up” to this humor, even though it seems to be free from hate? I’m not even uncomfortable with it exactly, I’m just concerned I might be dropping the ball as a citizen of the LGBTQ world. They really don’t seem hateful. Could this just be a way for them to engage with something that makes them uncomfortable?

— No Homo

My Partner and His Bros Joke About Gay Sex All the Time

Tags: Advice, LGBTQ, Relationships, Sex, Sex Identity

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20-Aug-2020


I Keep Getting Called a “Bad Feminist” Because I Won’t Do One Thing in Bed 

 

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a bisexual woman in my late 20s. I’ve dated about the same number of women and men. I hate performing oral sex on women (for what it’s worth, I don’t particularly enjoy receiving it either). There’s something about the smell and taste that really, really grosses me out. I don’t think it’s just a one (or two) time thing because I’ve gone down on around 15 women, and it’s gross every time.

I don’t mind performing oral sex on men (I’ve only encountered one gross-smelling dick before), and most guys are thrilled not to have to go down on me, but women react very differently. I’ve been called a “pillow princess,” a fake bisexual, a bad feminist, etc. when I mention I don’t really like oral sex. I now exclusively date bi women, and they’re less judgmental than lesbians, but some are still put off. My ideal night with a woman involves making out, boobs, and fingering/mutual masturbation (I don’t like strap-ons, either!) to finish the night, but most women don’t want anything besides oral.

Is there some way I can learn to at least tolerate performing oral sex? I can do it for about two minutes before getting grossed out and needing to brush my teeth or get a stick of gum.

—How Many Licks

“Bad Feminist”

Tags: Advice, Bi, Relationships, Sex

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19-Aug-2020


Help! I Can’t Believe My Son’s Friend Fed Him Indian Food Without Calling Me First. 

 

Q. Inappropriate food: My son, “Chris,” is 9. A few weeks ago, we decided to open our bubble to include the family of “Neil,” Chris’s best friend. Both of Neil’s parents are doctors, so this seemed like a safe decision. Both parents were born and raised in India. We let Chris have dinner at their place the other night since both boys were having a great time together. When we came to pick up Chris, Neil’s mom recounted to me how much chicken curry and lentils and vegetables Chris ate. I couldn’t believe that they served my son spicy curries without even calling to ask us if that would be OK! I was taken aback and gently mentioned that spicy foods can be hard on small tummies, but it didn’t seem to register. Thankfully Chris didn’t get sick. My wife says to drop it because any conversation will look racial in nature and to only let the boys play at our place. Please help.

Help! I Can’t Believe My Son’s Friend Fed Him Indian Food Without Calling Me First.

Tags: Advice, Children, Environment, Etiquette, Experimentation, Exploration, Food, Health, Overreaction, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Racism, Relationships, Superficiality, Treatment

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12-Aug-2020


AN ANCIENT DINOSAUR RELATIVE IS ALSO RELATED TO HUMANS—AND ITS DNA MAY HOLD THE SECRET TO LIVING LONGER 

 

The tuatara is old. 250 million years old. That was when this bizarre creature shared its last common ancestor with other reptiles before it evolved further and diverged. It used to be one of of several Rhynocephalia species that crawled across the antediluvian continent of Gondwana, but is now the only one that remains. Its genome links it not only to reptiles (which it most obviously resembles), but also birds and yes, mammals like humans. DNA from this living relic could also be the elixir of life.

Amniote vertebrates—which either hatch from eggs or develop from an egg in the placenta—are thought to have first appeared 312 million years ago and then branched off into two groups. Synapsids included early mammals and now-extinct reptiles with mammalian characteristics. Sauropsids were once dinosaurs and other reptilian ancestors that have since died out and were replaced with or evolved into birds or lizards, snakes and other extant reptiles. The tuatara has baffled scientists for so long because of synapsid and sauropsid features that could reveal what we never knew about amniote evolution.

AN ANCIENT DINOSAUR RELATIVE

Tags: Dinosaur, DNA, Evolution, Heritage, History, Humanity, Relationships, Science, Study, Survival

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10-Aug-2020


People Are Sharing How They Caught Their Partners Cheating And My Mouth Is Wide-Open 

 

"A friend of mine was suspicious of her husband cheating, as he went to 'play soccer with friends' way too often. He always came back already showered, as he would sweat playing. One day, she sewed his soccer socks together.

People Are Sharing How They Caught Their Partners Cheating And My Mouth Is Wide-Open

Tags: Cheating, Marriage, Portrait, Relationships, Sex, Social Media

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10-Aug-2020




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