Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Relationships'
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I Can’t Overcome the Curse of the Well-Endowed Man
Dear How to Do It,
I’m a single father in my late 30s interested in getting back into the dating game following a two-year hiatus. As someone who spent most of his 20s involved in making pornographic movies, I’ve spent my 30s normalizing sex and relationships. As an extremely well-endowed man, I came to accept the idea for a long time that I would never serve more than one purpose to a woman and that a serious, committed relationship was just not in the cards for me—that I was essentially a novelty act for curious women. I don’t want to give a potential partner the impression that sex is unimportant to me, but I also don’t want to feel like I’m being used for that one specific reason either. After so many instances of dating a woman until she can find out for herself if bigger really is better, I’m starting to lose hope that anyone will ever see me as a legitimate partner and not just a fun story to gossip to their girlfriends about. How should I approach the subject without scaring off a potential partner?
—More Than a D
Sexual Self-Esteem: Who Has More of It?
Sexual self-esteem influences almost every sexual decision you make, from who you engage with and when to whether you constrain yourself and how.
However, very little is known about sexual self-esteem and who has more or less of it. This is particularly important because sexual self-esteem and sexual satisfaction are closely related. Several studies suggest that lower sexual self-esteem negatively impacts sexual satisfaction. Another study, by Hale and Strassberg, reported the results of an experiment to test the effects of low sexual self-esteem and showed that male participants’ sexual arousal was significantly and negatively affected by poor sexual self-esteem.
What Is Sexual Self-Esteem?
Sexual self-esteem is feeling capable of being involved in sexual practices with successful procedures and results. Sexual self-esteem tends to differ with age and one’s partner’s sexual skills or interest, and it may vary for men and women and across cultures.
Studies also suggest that sexual self-esteem is negatively affected by a variety of life experiences, including childhood sexual abuse, sexual victimization, physical disabilities, and health issues. Another study found that sexual self-esteem is positively associated with general self-esteem.
Fears over domestic abuse when football comes home
With the Premier League returning tonight, the first football game kicking off this week, people will be watching the games from their homes due to the pandemic. There are fears this could increase tensions within households, resulting in incidences of domestic abuse.
In response to this, the Cannock Chase Council’s community safety partnership has teamed up with local partners including Staffordshire Police, New Era (domestic abuse service), the Staffordshire Commissioner’s Office and local authorities across Staffordshire to deliver some messages around the issue.
The new campaign ‘Football is coming home’ raises awareness of the support services available for both victims and perpetrators during these unprecedented times.
Express and Star
My mother texts me multiple times a day either in a private message or in a group message with my brother and his girlfriend. Most of the texts are “just checking in” or “thinking of you.” I already feel like the world’s worst daughter for complaining about this, but it feels like it’s too much. I am 28 years old, married, and have a 1-year-old. I work full time in an ER, which obviously has its own stressors. For this reason, I haven’t seen my mom since the pandemic started. I know it’s getting to her not being able to see me and my daughter, and I empathize with that. I video chat with her at least once a week, and I respond to her texts most of the time, but honestly she’s driving me crazy. We don’t have the relationship that she wishes we had. I’ve always found it hard to talk to her, and we are fundamentally polar opposites. I feel guilty for thinking this, let alone writing it out, because I know I would feel devastated if my daughter felt this way. Do I suck it up and go on with the multiple texts and group texts and realize it’s not that bad in the grand scheme of it all, or do I upset her and set boundaries?
Singles and Couples Are More Divided Than Ever
In the proudest moment of my quarantine, I built my own bike. Am I confident enough in the structural integrity of this bike to actually ride it? No—I duct-tape most of my furniture to the wall so it doesn’t collapse. If I were quarantining with a boyfriend, would I have insisted that he step in to help around hour seven? Absolutely.
Isolating with a partner creates genuine challenges, despite the gushing you might encounter online. “Quarantining has amplified any issues we’ve had in our marriage,” says Jen Tokaji, a 44-year-old office manager in Los Angeles. “It has really made the division of household chores and child care even more divided.”
Complaints like Tokaji’s are clearly valid, but that doesn’t mean the singles aren’t bothered by them. “When [couples] complain about relatively benign things and use hyperbole (‘We might kill each other by the end of this!’), it's kind of condescending to single people who don't even have the option to potentially murder their spouse/partner,” says Brooke Knisley, a 29-year-old writer in Boston.
My wife passed away, and I have fallen in love with her best friend. She feels she would be disrespecting my wife’s name if she went out with me. How can I let her know my wife would not object to us dating?
Teen rips 'lazy mother' for wanting another child: 'She should give up her dream'
A 16-year-old girl sparked debate on Reddit after seeking advice about her parents, who have 12 children already and want three more.
The teenager, who wrote under the username doodlydoot, shared her story on the subreddit AmITheAsshole, where her post has since received more than 25,000 upvotes and nearly 2,000 comments.
One night, the teen said her mom asked her to put her twin 3-year-old siblings to bed while she was busy studying for a test and was met with backlash when she refused to do it.
“She said that it is my responsibility as an older child,” the 16-year-old wrote. “I lost my temper and told her that she can’t take care of her 12 kids as it is, and that she should give up her dream of 15 children because she’s depriving the younger ones of a better life.”
Redditors rushed to the girl’s defense, with a majority agreeing that her siblings were the responsibility of her parents and not her. Reactions ranged from urging her to call Child Protective Services to suggesting she move out.
My Mom Wants Me to Break Social Isolation and Visit Her for Mother’s Day
My Husband Wants to Bone Through the Pandemic. I Keep Thinking About My Parents Dying.
Dear How to Do It,
I live in a small apartment in New York City, and I’m currently “sheltering in place”/self-isolating with my family (husband, two small kids). I was sent home from my job that I love, with no idea if or when they will ever reopen. My parents fall in the coronavirus “at risk” category of 60+ with underlying conditions. I, myself, have a rare lung condition, and I don’t know if that puts me in a higher risk group, too. So, having said all that, I’m struggling with thoughts of existential anxiety 24/7 and have zero libido. My husband, while largely in the same boat, does not have this problem and his sex drive is as high as ever. He thinks I should try to take my mind off things, and the best way to do that is with an orgasm. I think the odds of me orgasming right now are … zero. I can’t turn my brain off. Even during foreplay, I find myself worrying about my parents dying, worrying about the upcoming bills we have with only one income, worrying about going grocery shopping and contracting COVID-19, even if we take precautions. I feel guilty for denying my high-sex-drive husband sex, but I just don’t know how to relax enough to enjoy myself while we’re staying inside for the next weeks during this pandemic.
My in-laws recently moved to our city and live close by in a nice condo. They ask to (actually, inform us that they plan to) stay at our house when we are out of town. I believe they think of it as a kind of vacation. I think that this is weird and unnecessary. (We do not have any pets, children, or plants that require sitting.) That’s my main hang-up—it’s just not necessary for them to be in our space. My husband says we have no good reason to say no. I can definitely name some reasons, not the least of which is preparing a home for guests, but is it enough to simply value our privacy? If so, how do we communicate this to them? I don’t want to create an expectation that our home is available to them as a kind of hotel whenever it’s empty.
—Not a Hotel
People Are Getting Busted for Affairs in Coronavirus Lockdown
Over the last few weeks, as the coronavirus pandemic left millions stranded indoors, Chicago divorce attorney Mitch Gordon has started getting calls from people who’ve just learned some unwelcome information: their spouses are having affairs.
“The people who are juggling affairs are getting caught right now,” Gordon said. “I’ve had multiple calls from people who are like, ‘Alright, before this I wondered, but figured no. And now it’s clear it’s happening.’”
Teenager goes ‘mental’ on mom over birthday present: ‘A few hateful words’
The Redditor started his story by explaining that he loves baking, a passion that led him to ask for a stand mixer for his birthday. He ultimately got the appliance — a white model that cost around £80 ($100) — from his uncle and immediately began using it often.
Months later, the teen went to make croissants with his mixer only to find the device was missing.
“I looked everywhere for it and couldn’t find it,” he wrote. “I asked my mom where it was and she said she gave it away to charity. I WENT MENTAL.”
The 15-year-old wrote that he then confronted his mom with “a few hateful words.” His mother said that the mixer didn’t match the color scheme in the house and, as part of her kitchen, was hers to do what she wanted with.
Q. My husband’s affair partner talked to my daughter: My husband, “Ted,” had an 18-month-long affair with his co-worker “Angela.” The affair began when I was pregnant with our first child, “Lois,” and ended six months ago, when I found out. At the height of the affair Ted would take our infant daughter to the office on the weekends to give me a break. I have since learned that Angela would meet him (at the office or hotels) and they’d have sex while Lois slept in another room. I am eight months pregnant with our second child and could not have afforded to leave Ted before the pandemic began; I certainly can’t now. Ted, to his credit, has done a lot to begin to rebuild my trust in him, including being an open book. He and Angela could both lose their jobs if their employer found out about the affair, so I don’t want to expose them and lose what financial security our family has. At the same time, I made it clear Angela is to stay the hell away from Lois. She used to fawn over Lois when we visited Ted at work, and the memories make my skin crawl. I have spoken to Angela only once in the past six months, and that was all I said to her.
Ted now works from home. On Friday he had a Zoom call with his team, which includes Angela. While I was making Lois lunch she wandered into Ted’s office, and when I went to grab her, I caught Angela asking Lois questions: “How old are you? Are you excited to be a big sister?” I grabbed Lois without saying anything, gave her lunch, went to our bathroom, and burst into tears. I am livid at myself for letting Lois wander away because I can’t afford to be angry at Angela. Ted tried his best to comfort me, and he agrees Angela was out of line, but he doesn’t feel there’s anything he can do. Lois was in Ted’s office for less than two minutes:. Is it a violation of our previous agreement that Angela talked to Lois? Or was she just being a polite co-worker? I don’t know anymore.
How The Brady Bunch Destroyed Parenting For a Generation
It?s not such a stretch then to suggest that a popular TV program, such as The Brady Bunch, might have had a significant impact on how people have raised their children since. Millions of people have grown up watching The Brady Bunch, and many have seen it either as the perfect version of normal, or as the way they wished that they were raised in their own childhood. Would it influence the way they might one day raise their own children?
I think so.
Yet if we look at kids today, we see evidence of a pronounced lack of discipline. I submit that a generation of people who were raised on The Brady Bunch might come to see some legitimacy in the weak response from the TV parents, as though it?s somehow the enlightened course of action.
I also submit that it?s that kind lack of discipline that has contributed to an explosion in the number of incarcerations. Some 65 million people in the US have criminal records; is it too far-fetched to connect the dots between a lack of discipline in the home, and the need for the criminal justice system to do in adult life what the parents wouldn?t do in childhood?
Real life isn?t The Brady Bunch, and it?s beyond silly to think that that kind of non-discipline has any use at all. Sadly, it seems to have become the new normal in American households today.
Out Of Your Rut
Lambasted during my generation and enforced in today's parenting world. Huh? 14-Apr-2020
Chicago Man Killed Himself and a Woman After Fearing They Had Coronavirus, Police Say
Police say a man in the Chicago area shot himself and a woman in his apartment after fearing both had the new coronavirus, The Chicago Tribune reports. Will County Sheriff’s deputies found the bodies of Patrick Jesernik, 54, and Cheryl Schriefer, 59, during a welfare check Saturday that had been requested by Jesernik’s family, who had not heard from him. Family members said Jesernik had been afraid that he was suffering from COVID-19 and that Schriefer had been having trouble breathing. Tests for COVID-19 came back negative for both after the apparent murder-suicide. The prohibition of any group larger than 10 people to slow the spread of the coronavirus has stymied recovery and domestic violence prevention efforts across the world.
The Daily Beast
Maryland Man Killed Estranged Wife, Her Teen Neighbor Then Self: Police
Teenager arrested in deaths of University of Wisconsin doctor and her husband
Women are using code words at pharmacies to escape domestic violence during lockdown
Multiple San Francisco restaurants vandalized during stay-at-home order
I’m Having a Lifesaving Affair, but Social Distancing Is Keeping Us Apart
Dear How to Do It,
I’m having a wonderful affair with a man. We’re both married, but we’re careful and responsible—it’s what we both need to survive in our marriages, and it’s what’s best for both of us. (Without saying too much, in our situation, divorce would destroy our big, happy, extended immigrant families. I’m not looking for judgment on that.)
The problem is social distancing because of the coronavirus. Our spouses and kids are now both home full time, and getting away to see each other has been impossible. I’m miserable without the sex and companionship, and so is the man I’m seeing. At one point, he suggested meeting in our cars by the grocery store. I obviously declined. Then today, he called me and said to go to my window and waved to me from his car (we live about two neighborhoods apart). I was moved by the gesture, but it worried me. I feel like I am on the verge of doing something risky, and all this time with my husband, who is a kind man, is making me want to lash out and tell him I don’t love him.
What can I do to keep my head on straight here? I would be cast out of my family if this came out, but this whole situation is making me feel out of control.
—Swelter in Place