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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Relationships'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

I Want to Buy My Boyfriend an Ax for Christmas, but I’m Afraid He’ll Maim Himself 
 

I am getting a head start on the winter holidays by drawing up an early gift list, but I am stuck on one recipient in particular. My boyfriend is generally handy and especially enjoys building fires, and he has expressed interest in chopping wood for the last few fires we’ve had. Great, I thought—I can get him a high-quality ax or hatchet for Christmas. But then I started thinking about the potential for injuries. I have anxiety and know it can skew my perception of things, so I’m trying to think it through rationally. My boyfriend is very aware of safety and risk assessments in daily life, but he’s also not the most spatially aware person. He can be clumsy by himself or with others, especially after a few drinks. He’s also never been trained in any kind of ax safety. I still think he’d be delighted by this present, and part of me wants to be convinced by that alone, but another part of me thinks that even having an ax around would kick my fear of accidental injury into permanent overdrive. Should I try to muscle through the anxiety or start looking for a different present? Or is there a compromise here that would satisfy both my fears and my desire to impress with a cool gift?

—Ax Anxiety

I Want to Buy My Boyfriend an Ax for Christmas, but I’m Afraid He’ll Maim Himself

Tags: Advice, Confusion, Etiquette, Gifts, Investment, Relationships, Threat, Weird

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21-Nov-2020


It’s the incendiary bloke-bashing bestseller the French tried to ban. Now, as it reignites the battle of the sexes here, FLORA GILL dares say... I admit it, I hate men 

 

There's many a woman who, after a dreadful first date or a bout of office mansplaining, has uttered the words ‘I hate men’.

I have often heard friends say that very thing. In fact, at some point in her life, I bet practically every woman has said it.

But if pressed on the point, many would add that, of course, they don’t really hate the opposite sex. After all, we have men in our lives we don’t hate — a brother, a father, a best friend.

So when a woman stands up and insists she really does hate men, it causes something of a stir.

I admit it, I hate men

Tags: Awareness, Books, Environment, Feminism, Hate, Men, Relationships, Release, Woman's Rights, Women In Charge

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12-Nov-2020


Why Do Married Men Watch Porn? 

 

If I told you that I only watch porn for research in sociology, you’d likely call bullshit. And you’d be right. My husband and I have been together for thirty-three years. We have what sex advice columnist Dan Savage calls a “monogamish” relationship.

Passionate sex in a new relationship has a shelf life of about one year for all couples. Our story is no different. The things that drew us together still hold us together. Neither of us has any desire to change that.

Trying to discover how many married men watch porn is like the old joke about masturbation. The joke says, “95% of men admit to masturbating. The other 5% lie about it.” Men don’t like to admit they watch porn either. But even those of us in satisfying, committed relationships masturbate and watch porn.

One man told me about how he had watched porn at the office before going home, and then he masturbated. That evening his spouse wanted to have sex, and he hesitated. He had difficulty achieving an erection. She decided to perform oral sex on him, which in the past had helped him have a rigid erection. When she did so, she found some tissue stuck to his penis from his earlier masturbation.

Why Do Married Men Watch Porn?

Tags: Aging, Environment, Marriage, Masturbation, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Nature, Portrait, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Statistics, Woman's Rights

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12-Nov-2020


Dear Therapist: I Had a Great Relationship With My In-Laws. Then Everything Changed. 

 

My husband and I have been together for seven years and married for three. We have a 1-year-old daughter together.

It took me a long time to get into a relationship; I wanted to find someone I could get along with, but also in-laws I could get along with, because I grew up watching my parents fight about their parents all the time. When my husband and I first met, his family was very kind to me. In fact, his family and I often joke that I married him because his family was so awesome.

After I gave birth to our daughter, everything changed. I am suddenly being judged for not being a good mom, for not having a job, for not losing my pregnancy weight fast enough. My husband does not want to be stuck in the middle, and even though he’ll speak to his parents about this, nothing gets resolved, because he doesn’t push them for any kind of resolution. He basically tells them something they did wasn’t nice, they acknowledge it and sometimes apologize, and then they make more unnecessary comments.

My in-laws purchased a home for us after the birth of our baby. I realize now that this purchase came with a lot of strings attached. They want to see their granddaughter whenever it is convenient for them—not for us or when it’s best for our daughter. They don’t practice social distancing. When I bring this up to my husband, he tells me that we need to be accommodating to his parents because they purchased the home for us and we’d be considered ungrateful. I tell him that I’d be happy to move and rent if I would have more control over my life and my daughter’s. He says his parents would view this as a “slap in the face.”

As much as I love my husband, I feel like the relationship I have with my in-laws is making this marriage difficult, because at the end of the day, he’ll choose his parents’ feelings over mine.

I don’t want my daughter growing up to see us fighting about her grandparents, as I did with my parents. Many times I’ve found myself holding my tongue to keep the peace. I want to set clear boundaries with my in-laws but also have a great relationship with them.

Do you have any insight for me?

Anonymous
Toronto

Dear Therapist: I Had a Great Relationship With My In-Laws. Then Everything Changed.

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Environment, Family, Hostility, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Relationships, Respect, Threat

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09-Nov-2020


Help! How Do I Talk to My Husband About the Creepy Thing He’s Doing on Instagram? 

 

Q. My husband’s “Likes”: We have close family friends with a beautiful and charming 19-year-old daughter. She is like a niece to us. My husband has made her uncomfortable twice by remarking, “Mmm! Look at Kelly!” when she’s entered a room dressed up for an outing or work. (The “Mmm!” being the sort of sound one makes in appreciation of a delicious-looking food, for example.) Her discomfort was clear—she turned red and exited the room both times.

He now is following her on Instagram and “likes” EVERY single post she puts up. (And she posts frequently!) I’ve spoken to him about not commenting on her appearance, especially with the loud, “Mmm!” noise. He seemed slightly mortified. Do I need to suggest he stop with all the Instagram attention? It seems kinda creepy to me, but perhaps I am seeing something that isn’t even an issue. I remember receiving unwanted attention from middle-aged men in my teen years, so I could be projecting here.

Help! How Do I Talk to My Husband About the Creepy Thing He’s Doing on Instagram?

Salt Life Co-Founder Reportedly Admits to Killing Teen Girlfriend

Tags: Advice, Awareness, Business, Choices, Crime, Daddy Squish, Environment, Etiquette, Family, Marriage, Men In Charge, Murder, Parenting, Priorities, Relationships, Respect, Responsibility, Safety, Sex, Threat, Youth

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09-Nov-2020


My Boyfriend’s Mom Suddenly Hates Me


 

Dear Prudence,

I’ve been dating an Asian American man for the better part of a year, and he’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. His mother and I got along for about six months. I was invited over for dinner, stayed at their house (he lives with his parents), and we even exchanged phone numbers. My boyfriend agrees that I was polite to her and never stepped on her toes. Recently they got into an argument (she didn’t know I was there), and she went on a tirade about how he shouldn’t bring his “little girlfriend” into her house anymore, that I was not a member of their family and was no longer welcome. He tried to reassure me that it was something she said in the heat of the moment, but she’s stood by those words. I’m devastated.

I can’t stop thinking that perhaps she wanted her son to date someone else. My free trial in their home has expired, and she’s ready for her son to date a woman from their heritage. When I’ve been in the house since then, she stands in the backyard until I leave. English is not her first language, and I’m not sure it’d be productive for me to talk to her myself. What would you do in this situation?

—No Longer Welcome

My Boyfriend’s Mom Suddenly Hates Me

Tags: Advice, Culture, Dating, Environment, Family, Hate, Judgment, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Preference, Relationships, Termination, Threat

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08-Nov-2020


My Daughter’s New Friends (and Their Parents) Are Terribly Racist 

 

My husband and I (as well as our daughter, “Chloe”) moved to a new state about a year and a half ago. We live in an extremely White suburb that is surrounded by a large, non-White city. We wanted to live in the city, but the crime rate caused us to look elsewhere. As a result, everyone in our neighborhood is White. There are eight other children that live in our neighborhood that are around my daughter’s age (she’s 7). The first few months were great, and she was constantly going over to other kids’ houses to play or inviting them here. She was a little socially behind in our last town, so I was happy she had made friends. But then I started to notice that her friends were terribly racist, and after inviting the kids’ parents over for dinner … the parents are racist too. Not just microaggressions or an off-color joke (which would be bad enough by itself), but just full-on, blatant racism. Even my husband, who is from a small town that still has Klan activity, was shocked and appalled.

I don’t want my daughter spending time with these children. When the pandemic happened, we didn’t have to worry about it too much because no one was seeing anyone. But the neighborhood kids have started spending time together again (at a distance), and my daughter has been asking to go outside and play. The kids have also come and knocked on the door a few times asking for my daughter, but I made up an excuse. On the one hand, I don’t want to deprive my daughter of friends (she goes to an extremely small magnet school and isn’t really fitting in there, not to mention her classmates live 30-plus minutes away). On the other hand, I don’t want her to befriend racists! My daughter recently told me she had been feeling left out. What do I do?

—Not Raising a Racist

My Daughter’s New Friends (and Their Parents) Are Terribly Racist

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Environment, Fear, Friendship, Hate, Mental Health, Neighbor, Parental Burden, Politics, Racism, Relationships, Safety, Substitute, Treatment, Weird

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06-Nov-2020


My 35-Year-Old Sister-in-Law Might Be Pregnant by a 17-Year-Old 

 

Dear Prudence,

My sister-in-law has had an affair with a 17-year-old boy (she’s 35) and might be pregnant. My sister has taken off with their twins to go stay with our mother in Mexico. Oh yes, my mother moved there two years ago to join a cult. She left the cult but stayed in the country. Our dad is still married to her, despite his five-year relationship with his “housekeeper” he thinks we don’t know about. But we never had a housekeeper growing up, he’s certainly not wealthy enough to afford a live-in employee now, and we all know “Gwen” doesn’t do much to look after the house.

Is it awful that I’m just not involved? Usually I’d be in the thick of it, being the designated fixer and “good daughter.” Except it’s a pandemic and I’ve just stayed out of it. It’s bliss. I obviously know what’s happening, but due to time differences and working from home, most of my information comes via email. I let it sit in the inbox till I’m ready to look at it, and it’s just not as fraught as talking to a devastated relative face-to-face. I have been supportive, or at least not outright accusatory, at my sister-in-law (17!), but just at a remove. As far as I can tell this new distance hasn’t changed anyone else’s lives, just mine. Yet I do feel guilty for not being elbow-deep in the mess with everyone else. That’s what families do, right? Pitch in? I didn’t realize how tired I was of it all, until I realized I could actually live in peace.

—Out of the Game

My 35-Year-Old Sister-in-Law Might Be Pregnant by a 17-Year-Old

Tags: Advice, Etiquette, Family, Freedom, Interference, Mental Health, Pederast, Perception, Recovery, Relationships, Safety, Sex

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29-Oct-2020


Dear Abby: Her pet name for my husband is out of line, but they won’t stop 

 

DEAR ABBY: A young, attractive female co-worker of my husband’s addresses him by his first name ending with “ly” (example: “Georgely”). When I asked how the name was acquired, both of them claimed they didn’t remember.

They know I do not approve, particularly on social media for the world to see.

I consider pet names a term of endearment, to be reserved for one’s significant other. Am I out of line, or are they?

NAME-DROPPING IN WISCONSIN

Dear Abby: Her pet name for my husband is out of line, but they won’t stop

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Horniness, Marriage, Men, Profiling, Relationships, Sex, Threat, Woman's Rights

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23-Oct-2020


What It Means When You Have Gay Or Lesbian Sex Dreams 

 

When I was 14, I had a particularly vivid dream about Helen Hunt. I know, just go with me on this.

In the dream, she was teaching me how to play the piano, an instrument I have inexplicably always found to be very sexy (but probably because of that one scene in Pretty Woman). After I'd performed well, she leaned over and gave me a kiss.

My mom, being of sound mind and body, rolled her eyes and told me to stop 1) eating so many weird midnight snacks, and 2) worrying about my sexual orientation.

4. Gay or lesbian sex dreams might mean you're pregnant.

What It Means When You Have Gay Or Lesbian Sex Dreams

Tags: Advice, Dreams, LGBTQ, Portrait, Relationships, Release, Sex, Sex Identity

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23-Oct-2020


‘Something Extremely Bad Is Happening Here’ 

 

Teens are dying by suicide at an alarming rate. Public health officials call it a crisis. Researchers have identified several clusters nationwide. The survivors in this Arizona community are fighting back

‘Something Extremely Bad Is Happening Here’

Tags: Death, Environment, Family, Hostility, Life Sucks, Lifestyle, Loneliness, Mental Health, Neglect, Parental Burden, Relationships, Social Media, Suicide, Surge, Threat

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20-Oct-2020


Boris Johnson confirms indoor sex is banned – again – in certain lockdown tiers 

 

Downing Street representatives told a briefing of Westminster journalists that partners are free to meet outdoors, but must still adhere to social distancing guidelines, the Evening Standard newspaper reported.

While singles have suffered months of loneliness and asking themselves, “Do I really need this boyfriend pillow?” under the so-called “casual sex ban”, some couples may be barred from seeing one another under certain tiers.

In the raft of new pandemic policies, the first tier duplicates the country’s most recent restrictions. The second tier bars people from different households from socialising together indoors.

Boris Johnson confirms indoor sex is banned – again – in certain lockdown tiers

Tags: Ban, Choices, Closed, Contagion, Coronavirus, Environment, Etiquette, Exclusivity, Family, Fear, Health, Incest, Relationships, Romance, Segregation, Self-defence, Sex, Unity, World

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17-Oct-2020


My Partner Thinks I’m a Monster for Getting My Building’s Maintenance Workers Fired 

 

I live in a huge apartment complex with about 500 tenants. I happen to live on the back side of the complex, with a window facing the dumpster in the alleyway. Many of the maintenance workers hang out in that alley when they’re not working. I’ve been working from home for six months now, meaning I spend way more time overhearing their conversations than I used to. They probably spend three to four hours a day just shooting the breeze. They laugh loudly, speak at a way higher volume than necessary, and tell an endless number of sexist jokes in Spanish (I speak Spanish fluently so I can understand every word). I hate having to listen to sexist vitriol for literally hours every day. I’ve tried headphones and a white noise machine but neither block out the sound.

I finally gave up and emailed management. Three of the guys were fired. They have been replaced with workers who spend significantly less time joking and hanging out in the back alley. I view this as a win: I don’t have to be subjected to this for hours every day, and the guys learned a valuable lesson about not going on sexist rants at work. My partner, on the other hand, is angry at me. They say I should’ve just talked to the men myself (which seems naïve, considering they clearly hate women) or, in my email to the complex, asked for the men not to be fired. I disagree. All I did was speak up about an issue that affected me—it’s not my responsibility how the complex chooses to handle it. My partner is basically saying I’m a monster for getting blue-collar workers fired. We cannot seem to move past this issue. Did I do the right thing? What can I do now to get my partner and I past this difference of opinion?

—Not Sorry They’re Gone

My Partner Thinks I’m a Monster for Getting My Building’s Maintenance Workers Fired

Tags: Advice, Backlash, Complaint, Effect, Employment, Etiquette, Interference, Mental Health, Racial Tension, Relationships, Struggling

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17-Oct-2020


Q. Interfaith in Ithaca: 

 

My wife and I (we’re both women) are in an interfaith marriage. I’m a member of a tiny religious minority and my wife is an atheist. Before we got married, we agreed we’d raise our kids in my religion—monthly religious service attendance, religious summer camp, etc.—and then let them choose whether to pursue the religion when they turn 18 and move out. My parents were much more prescriptive with me and I ended up rebelling against it for a long time. It was important to me that our kids make a choice for themselves once they turned 18.

However, my wife is tacitly supportive but pretty much “opts out” whenever she can. She works long hours and basically never wants to come to our religious service because she wants to catch up on sleep. I end up taking the kids by myself. My kids are teens and, seeing my wife opt out, are wondering why they can’t opt out either—which is super valid. My parents always warned me I shouldn’t marry outside the faith so I can’t talk to them about this, because all I’ll get is an “I told you so.” I can’t make my wife a role model for a religion she doesn’t believe in, but it’s incredibly important that my kids have a strong religious foundation and then make the choice from there. What should we do?

Q. Interfaith in Ithaca:

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Church, Marriage, Relationships, Religion, Woman's Rights

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05-Oct-2020


'Live footage of being a woman in STEM': College student leaves TikTok outraged after recording her male classmates repeatedly interrupting her and ignoring her during a Zoom call 

 

A college student has gone viral after sharing a TikTok of her male classmates repeatedly interrupting her, explaining that it is 'live footage of being a woman in STEM.'

Claire McDonnell, 22, is one of four women among almost 60 men in a graduate science and finance program at the University of Iowa,' according to BuzzFeed News. She told the publication that her video is just one example of the sexism that women face in the department as well as the male-dominated field as a whole.

'This happens on a daily basis,' she said. 'There would be an assignment we [the other women in the program] would help other classmates with, and they would take credit for it.'

College student leaves TikTok outraged

Tags: Education, Etiquette, Exclusivity, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Relationships, Sexism, Social Media, Students, Video

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03-Oct-2020




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