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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Perception'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

Dear Fuck-Up, 

 

I am currently in the very shady shitty midst of a divorce. Our marriage ended for a lot of valid reasons (incompatibility, mutual depressions, denial, etc.) that truly don’t have much to do with the following bit of info. My husband had a very (very!) close friendship with a female mutual friend of ours. They’d been friends since childhood (20+ years) and she subsequently became a really good friend of mine in the 10 years of our relationship. BUT in the last eight months of my marriage they engaged in an “emotional affair.” It was very unsubtly inappropriate and disrespectful. The extent of which I may never fully know because, they, obviously, both turned out to be disappointing, dishonest, and shitty people.

He moved in with her (sorry, “rented a room” from her) six weeks after we decided to end our marriage and now three months later is in a public relationship with her. This has been a fully awful and emotionally devastating experience for me. I’ve been heartbroken, angry, humiliated, stressed the fuck out.

My actual question revolves around how I can express my feelings about this devious gash. My husband will pay (a fucking lot) in our divorce settlement, and he has enough self-awareness to know he is a bad man and a miserable shit. His personal shame kind of settles my animosity towards him.

But her! I am a sex positive person who is pro-sex-work and loudly disparages people who attempt to besmirch strippers, porn actors, or prostitutes. YET, all I want to do is call this dumb bitch a stupid whore. Ditsy hoe. Dirty slizz. Etc.

How can I reconcile my feminism with my need to hate on this horrid bitch? Especially since now that I am single af, I am ‘bout to hit up all the dick?

Signed,

Not So Feminist

Dear Fuck-Up,

Tags: Advice, Anxiety, Cheating, Choices, Divorce, Environment, Etiquette, Feminism, Friendship, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Misrepresentation, Perception, Threat, Treatment, Woman's Rights

Permalink

05-Nov-2020


Oprah Winfrey: The 7 books that ‘help me through’ stressful times like these 

 

If you’re prone to doom-scrolling Twitter, or can’t take yet another stressful headline in the news, Oprah Winfrey has some suggestions on what books to read next.

Winfrey recently suggested seven books that are perfect to read right now, or during any stressful moment in life. She values these books “for their ability to inspire and comfort and enlighten,” she said in a video on her Instagram Monday.

“During these times, I know it’s hard sometimes to focus on anything because we’re so distracted by the roar of the news, not to mention the steady hum of our own anxiety,” Winfrey said.

But research has shown that reading can reduce your stress levels as effectively as other relaxation methods. Just six minutes of reading can lower your blood pressure and decrease other stress-related bodily responses, a 2009 study found.

From poetry to spirituality, here are the books that Oprah likes to “revisit time and again.”

Oprah Winfrey: The 7 books that ‘help me through’ stressful times like these

Tags: $, Books, Celebrity, Lockdown, Perception, Privilege

Permalink

31-Oct-2020


Hot doctor sick of being told she’s ‘too pretty to work in medical field’ 

 

Dr. Medina Culver is proof that you’re never too sexy to save lives. But her detractors don’t always see it that way.

When the now-successful family practice doctor was interviewed for a place at medical school at the start of her career, the interviewer bluntly asked her whether she had cheated on her Medical College Admission Test.

“Usually we don’t see women with your hair color score this well,” he pronounced.

The then-22-year-old blonde was shocked, but she held her head high and replied: “No, I didn’t cheat — I worked very hard to achieve that score.”

Nine years on, successfully employed as the only female partner in a Las Vegas family health practice, the doctor is still being undermined because of her gorgeous looks and figure.

“I’ve been told countless times that I am too pretty to work in the medical field,” Culver, 31, told The Post. “People say I should be doing something else with my life, like modeling or acting. It’s sexist, hurtful and shows the double standard regarding the appearance of men and women.”

Appalled at being hounded for being both beautiful and brainy, she has turned to social media to defend herself and spread the word that the two qualities are not mutually exclusive.

Hot doctor sick of being told she’s ‘too pretty to work in medical field’

Tags: $, Advertising, Backlash, Beauty, Career, Celebration, Employment, Etiquette, Exclusivity, Hot Swatch, Medical, Opinion, Perception, Social Media

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30-Oct-2020


My 35-Year-Old Sister-in-Law Might Be Pregnant by a 17-Year-Old 

 

Dear Prudence,

My sister-in-law has had an affair with a 17-year-old boy (she’s 35) and might be pregnant. My sister has taken off with their twins to go stay with our mother in Mexico. Oh yes, my mother moved there two years ago to join a cult. She left the cult but stayed in the country. Our dad is still married to her, despite his five-year relationship with his “housekeeper” he thinks we don’t know about. But we never had a housekeeper growing up, he’s certainly not wealthy enough to afford a live-in employee now, and we all know “Gwen” doesn’t do much to look after the house.

Is it awful that I’m just not involved? Usually I’d be in the thick of it, being the designated fixer and “good daughter.” Except it’s a pandemic and I’ve just stayed out of it. It’s bliss. I obviously know what’s happening, but due to time differences and working from home, most of my information comes via email. I let it sit in the inbox till I’m ready to look at it, and it’s just not as fraught as talking to a devastated relative face-to-face. I have been supportive, or at least not outright accusatory, at my sister-in-law (17!), but just at a remove. As far as I can tell this new distance hasn’t changed anyone else’s lives, just mine. Yet I do feel guilty for not being elbow-deep in the mess with everyone else. That’s what families do, right? Pitch in? I didn’t realize how tired I was of it all, until I realized I could actually live in peace.

—Out of the Game

My 35-Year-Old Sister-in-Law Might Be Pregnant by a 17-Year-Old

Tags: Advice, Etiquette, Family, Freedom, Interference, Mental Health, Pederast, Perception, Recovery, Relationships, Safety, Sex

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29-Oct-2020


There's Now a Wearable "ShieldPod" For Kids When Social Distancing Isn't Enough 

 

Early on in the pandemic, parents joked about encasing their kids in bubble wrap, but seven months in, that seemingly over-the-top idea is now looking pretty practical. In fact, Under the Weather — a brand best known for the pop-up "WeatherPods" that can be seen on the sidelines of kids' outdoor soccer and baseball games during rainy days — is now introducing a child-size "ShieldPod" after it successfully launched a line of Safety Pods designed to help protect healthcare workers on the front lines from possible COVID-19 exposure earlier this summer.

The original ShieldPod generated so many requests from families that Under the Weather modified the design to accommodate anyone looking for, according to the site, "extra protection, added peace of mind, or social distancing solutions."

There's Now a Wearable

Tags: Children, Choices, Coronavirus, Etiquette, Fear, Health, Parenting, Perception, Product, Safety, Social Distancing, Survival

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20-Oct-2020


Narcissists: Masters of Overcompensation 

 

A consensus now exists that narcissists hide, both from themselves and others, deficits in their self-image. And they typically overcompensate for their underlying sense of inferiority by displaying to the world a calculated manipulativeness that all-too-easily can fool those around them, seduced into believing what the narcissist tells them, or shows them as representing the essential truth of their being.

In fact, anything that threatens their need to feel superior can lead to their fiercely projecting onto others what, legitimately enough, they’ve been accused of. Even a well-intended suggestion can provoke them and be sharply rebuffed because they take it as implying that the other person doesn’t think they’ve done something well enough.

What’s especially striking here is that, largely without any sort of developed conscience themselves, they rely on their victim’s conscience to get what they want from them. Again turning to Preston Ni, by cunningly inducing guilt in their unsuspecting victims, they can emotionally bribe them to “win favors, concessions, sacrifices, and/or commitments.”

So it’s hardly uncommon for these victims—after, that is, they’ve managed to escape the narcissist’s clutches, or even been rejected by them—to wonder, “What’s happened to me? I never felt this negative about myself before.”

Narcissists: Masters of Overcompensation

Tags: Mental Health, Perception, Psychology, Weird

Permalink

17-Oct-2020


My Wife’s Wild Sexual Past Is Now Haunting Me in More Ways Than One 

 

Dear How to Do It,

I have been married to my wife for almost 20 years. It was a second marriage for both of us. A year into the marriage, I contracted an STD and found out she had it since her teens. At parties with her friends, I started hearing about how promiscuous she had been in her younger years, and I just accepted that it was before me. We have always had a real good sex life and discussed how great it has been, but now, she wants to practically stop having sex. I’m handsome, in great shape, and a very understanding and sensitive lover. She is still beautiful, attractive, and has no serious medical conditions. She explains that she had so much sex in her teens and early 20s that she can take it or leave it. In this case, it’s leaving it, and being the person who married her, I am now starting to pay a price for her early wild times. Is this a common rationale for writing off sex? I’m now convinced this may be a reason not to be so promiscuous in younger years.

—Horny History

My Wife’s Wild Sexual Past Is Now Haunting Me in More Ways Than One

Tell him the truth. He either sucks in bed or she's cheating. (She could also be ill.)

(By the way, I'm one of those unbelievable people that got tired of having sex. Once you work at McDonald's you no longer want to eat there.) 26-Sep-2020

Tags: Advice, Medical, Mental Health, Perception, Relationships, Sex, Termination

Permalink

26-Sep-2020


I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women 

 

Dear How to Do It,

I’m a 34-year-old straight, male virgin. I don’t have any trouble talking to women, frequently match with attractive women on dating apps, and often get to first base. I’ve even gotten to the “finish line” a few times, even getting to fingering and cunnilingus, but between being so nervous I can’t get it up, putting my foot in my mouth, and pure terror, I’ve always screwed it up. My first time in bed with a woman (someone I’d just met at a party), at age 27, it was the nerves, but the five subsequent times, in my 30s, I guess I didn’t even know where to begin. In all but one case, I told them I was a virgin, and only once was this a specific issue for my partner. All of them were women I met on a dating app, on the second or third date, except one that I was in a two-month sort of relationship with.

I’ve noticed that I don’t find the vagina particularly sexy. Could this be an issue? I’m also uncircumcised (this is common in my part of the world), and part of me fears tearing off the foreskin.

I feel like I’m missing out on a key part of the human experience. Maybe being in love with my partner would help, but frankly I haven’t been in love in a good 10 years. Maybe I just need to be so consumed by lust that I can’t overthink it, but does that even happen? It’s even crossed my mind to visit a prostitute and get it over with, but then I think really couldn’t get it up—the thought of a partner who is likely not the least bit attracted to you is a massive turn-off to me. I’m interested in your thoughts. Thanks, and have a wonderful day.

—Frustrated

I’m in My 30s, and I’ve Never Been Able to Make It to Home Base With Women

Tags: Advice, Perception, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Sex Identity

Permalink

16-Sep-2020


Dear Abby: My plans with friend are spoiled when she’s handed her grandkids without warning 

 

DEAR ABBY: I have a serious issue with my best girlfriend. We make plans together, adult plans, and then at the last minute, her kids drop the young grandkids off for her to babysit, curtailing any plans we have together. The past few times, we have changed our plans to a “kids” activity.

I have an extremely busy client load, and I’m losing income by accommodating my friend’s time constraints, which revolve around making her husband’s lunch and dinner. Although I’m single now (I am a widow), I do understand why she has her priorities. If her grandkids are there when we have plans, she asks me to pick them up fast food on the way over — on my dime.

I have kids and grandkids myself, and they are important to me. I’m tired of being held hostage by her adult children who I feel are using her and taking advantage of the “drop-in day care” with Nana. How can I talk to her about our time being important, too? I have intentionally NOT made plans with my grandkids if she and I have plans, and I would love some reciprocity. — THROWN UNDER THE BUS

Dear Abby: My plans with friend are spoiled when she’s handed her grandkids without warning

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Entertainment, Family, Friendship, Grands, Parental Burden, Perception, Treatment

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13-Sep-2020


My Mother-in-Law Told My 12-Year Old to Lose Weight and “Fix” Her Face 

 

Dear Care and Feeding,

I am white, and my husband is Korean. We have two daughters who are 12 and 15. My husband and I both come from big families, but his is tighter-knit than mine, and they all live close by. Of his four siblings, three have kids, and our daughters are close with their cousins.

We had a socially distanced family picnic, and when we were saying goodbye, my mother-in-law started commenting on how nice our older daughter looked. But then, she started telling my younger daughter that she needed to start losing weight if she wanted to look like her sister, and if she was in Korea, she would have taken her to get her eyelids and nose “fixed” much earlier “because when you do it now it won’t look as natural.”

My younger daughter was mortified, and my older daughter didn’t even say anything! I was shocked and tried to bring it up in the car, but my older daughter just said it was “how Grandma always was” and my younger daughter didn’t say anything. When we tried to talk to her about it at home, she said the same thing, that she was just old. We are both very angry at my mother-in-law, and are worried about how this impacted our daughters’ self-esteem. What can we do to get them to open up, and how can we confront Grandma?

—Beauty Queens

My Mother-in-Law Told My 12-Year Old to Lose Weight and “Fix” Her Face

Everybody knows American parents prefer doctors, not loved ones, to tell their children they're fat and a little disjointed. 01-Sep-2020

Tags: Advice, Beauty, Children, Choices, Family, Overreaction, Parental Burden, Perception, Racial Tension, Racism

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01-Sep-2020


Black People Believe Racial Hiring Discrimination Exists Where They Work. White People Disagree. 

 

When pressed, many Americans will acknowledge what research has proven to be true: The hiring system is broken, and white people have a historic, systemic advantage over other races when it comes to getting a job.

In a new HuffPost/YouGov poll conducted this August of 1,000 U.S. adults, almost half said that people of color are treated less fairly than white people during the hiring process in the U.S. Seventy-nine percent of Black Americans and 69% of Latinx Americans said that racial employment discrimination was at least somewhat of a serious problem in the United States. (HuffPost/YouGov did not highlight results for Asian respondents due to small sample sizes.)

Hiring discrimination can be especially insidious, because candidates rarely get insight into what recruiters and hiring managers are thinking. A person may never find out why exactly a given company never called them back, but that doesn’t mean discrimination is not occurring.

“I was once told that my long hair and beard had to go and that I must state that I was a Christian.” — multiracial man, 64

Black People Believe Racial Hiring Discrimination Exists Where They Work. White People Disagree.

Tags: $, Choices, Employment, Equality, Perception, Performance, Psychology, Racial Tension, Social Distance, Study

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24-Aug-2020


Help! My Husband’s Been Sending Skeevy Messages About College Girls to His Friends. 

 

Q. Is my husband a perv? I am married and have two kids. Recently I came across a series of text messages between my husband and his buddy. My husband texted a photo from a poster of female college athletes from my daughter’s sport hanging in her bedroom. They then said this athlete, previously discussed to be hot, was “false advertising”—she’s actually more like “Jabba the Hut or a cow.” My husband sent a photo of a college freshman from our daughter’s poster to make up for having sent the ugly photo.

There were many other messages remarking upon waitresses, cashiers, co-workers, etc., which maybe is more normal “guy talk.” But this interaction really disturbed me, especially given that there are high school seniors on my daughter’s team. Also, this is a sport where sexual abuse is rampant.

Additional background info: Yes, I did look at my husband’s phone, but it was after inadvertently learning that he was secretly taking drugs. So while normally investigating is not a cool thing to do, I felt like I had to figure out the extent of the problem to protect my kids. That’s a question for another day!

Slate

Tags: Advice, Parental Burden, Perception, Relationships

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27-Jul-2020


Meet the Man Leading the Charge on America's Boy Crisis / Opinion 

 

"As the women's movement went mainstream, I loved the options for women it created, but also felt there was a demonizing of men, an undervaluing of the family, and a blindness to how boys and men were being harmed that would have profound effects on families, boys, addiction, careers, male unemployment, the global economy and so on," he explained. "When I uncovered reasons that were not part of the public consciousness, I felt I had something to contribute."

Farrell soon discovered that there was little serious attention being paid to the space of boy's development, either in academia or anywhere else. The subject was, in Farrell's words, "a national afterthought."

What was not an afterthought to Farrell were the big disparities in outcomes of every kind between boys and girls in America. Disparities that crossed ethnic, racial and geographic boundaries.

"Before age 9, boys and girls commit suicide equally," Farrell told a Tedx audience. "By age 10 to 14, it is twice the amount for boys. Between 15 and 19, it is four times the amount, and by ages 18 to 24, it is six times the amount. That's staggering." Often, these tragedies seem to share one circumstance: the lack of a father in the home.

Newsweek

Tags: Activism, Boy's Rights, Empathy, Environment, Equality, Etiquette, Mental Health, Misrepresentation, Neglect, Opinion, Parental Crime, Perception, Politics, Preference, Priorities, Profiling, Punishment, Safety, Survival, Women In Charge

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14-Jul-2020


Dear Abby: His teenage daughter won’t wear pants, and it disturbs me when I visit 

 

DEAR ABBY: My fiance, “Jay,” has a 14-year-old daughter who has been home-schooling during the quarantine, and she refuses to put pants on. When we ask her to, she gets upset.

She isn’t built like the average teenager. Abby, she’s 5’10” and weighs 200 pounds, so it’s like seeing a grown woman in her underwear.

I think it’s inappropriate for a young woman her age to be unwilling to dress herself fully, and I don’t like seeing her like that every time I go to their house.

Jay doesn’t notice. He says it doesn’t bother him, and he doesn’t mind when I ask her to put shorts on.

I don’t feel it’s my place at this point to dictate what she wears, but I’m uncomfortable. I don’t know if I’m crossing a line or if it’s normal to feel this way. Help!

DIDN’T THINK I WAS A PRUDE

Mercury News

Tags: Advice, Environment, Family, Parental Burden, Perception, Puberty, Safety, Sex

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24-Jun-2020


Coronavirus Is Helping the Environment—That's Not A Good Thing 

 

Without a doubt, quarantining is yielding environmental improvements. Driving and flying have dropped considerably. According to satellite imagery from NASA, nitrogen dioxide, carbon monoxide, and other emissions are down. The canals in Venice are cleaner, and people in certain parts of India can see the peaks of the Himalayas for the first time in years.

These environmental benefits certainly sound encouraging. But they raise the question: At what cost?

Millions of people are stuck at home worrying about their finances. Small business owners are wondering if and when they’ll be able to reopen their doors—and pay their workers.

Schools have closed for the year. College and high school graduations are canceled. Anxiety and isolation have replaced many of our most basic activities.

National Interest

Tags: Environment, Health, Nature, Perception, Policy, Politics, Poverty, Privilege, Science, Unity, World

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27-Apr-2020




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