Home About Us All Fuctasia_(NSFW) Games Gay+ Health/Food Movies Music Musings Photos_(NSFW) TV Wisps Preferences

Home Page > Current Page

Top Tags

Banana Hammock


Create Profile

This site does not claim credit for images, videos, or music, except where noted.


Restricted to Adults
This site does not claim credit for images, videos, or music, except where noted.


Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.



If we all admit that we suck, can we stop hating each other and move on to some happiness? Please? 13-May-2021

Tags: World Peace




Why did Bobby Brady from The Brady Bunch see rockets and firecrackers when he fell in love? I was a cute idiot twink picked up by an interesting man who looked exactly like William Hurt with a curly wig and a height difference. It wasn't him but the dude was still pretending to be someone. I wanted to fuck and get it over with. I didn't want to give him reasons to kill me. I kept all answers "interview" level. Everything about daddy was nice. Nothing spectacular but very pleasant. This will be a quick release. He starts banging and all is quite pleasing. It was a rainy afternoon fuck between two strangers. Nice. The climax was a buildup. Things were happening. I was giving him things that didn't belong to him. I start convulsing and begin to see stars, firecrackers and colored lightning. Who is this fake William Hurt motherfucker? It was a feeling I expected from someone more intimate. Is he from space? I wanted to snatch that wig and unmask him but I was embarrassed for feeling like the only vagina in New York cumming at that moment. It was fucking fantastic! If I hadn't already been happily married, I would have let him stalk me. 09-May-2021

Tags: Dating, Gay, Gay101, History, Myself, Relationships




Sex experts Dan Savage and Esther Perel explain why people cheat on their partners

The only men that don't cheat are the ones with mental or physical diseases, they can't, they shouldn't and or don't move. Otherwise, have your pick, ladies!... and gentlemen.

(My mother picked wisely. He's stupid, well-hung and able to work. See pic above. Welcome back, buddy!) 07-May-2021

Tags: Parenting 101, Parody, Relationships




I was watching reality TV and it dawned on me that we have been fighting over jealousy in relationships for over 50 years. Psychiatry can't solve it and humans fall victim to the idea of love and happy endings countless of times. We can't corroborate if less people will save the planet but there is a surety about relationships. We get rid of jealousy and all is resolved. 07-May-2021

Tags: Jealousy, Mental Health, Parenting 101, Psychology, Responsibility, Sex, Success, Support, Training, Treatment




Secret delights are the most attainable because everyone is looking for them. 05-May-2021

Tags: Humans, Nature




Why do men need to lie about cheating? Give the ladies a heads up. They'll find something else to do. You can always have your friend Johnny check her out every once in a blue so she doesn't feel so alone. 05-May-2021

Tags: Cheating, Men, Sex, Who Cares, Women




The idea of sharing neighborly grief and sentimentality with food is a common tradition that our family never followed. Dished food was constantly being brought to our home with gestures of warmth and or greetings yet remained untasted. At funeral gatherings my mother would throw out the stranger's food and keep only the family's. When the strangers inquired about their food my mother showed them the empty dishes. "It was so good the people gobbled it up." There was always an excuse. She didn't like what they said, they appeared unclean, smelled, had cats, were old, of another race or white. Mrs. Brady would have no chance at delivering "other food" to our mouths.

Our mother turned eating out into shopping for a Restaurant. She wanted to make sure it was clean and comfortable and that more than two people were eating there. She didn't want to appear uncool.

Before his mother died she made my stepfather some of his favorite dishes. They were packed neatly into containers and my stepfather was excited to bring them home and taste his mama's food again but mother smelled something in the car. I smelled nothing. Is it coming from those containers?! Throw them out! Those containers are not making it inside my house. They're poison. Throw them out or you're not getting back in the car. My stepdad deflated as he dumped the last opportunity he had of eating his mother's food. I felt bad for him. It's his mother's food and he's the only one obligated to eat it and if he wants to relive a fond memory, he should goddam be able to. Mother! Go into another room while he gobbles it down and cleans it up. I told her that and she yells at me "yeah, but you don't know these people."

I've never held to her philosophy and as an adult enjoyed much food by hospitable strangers and neighbors and obviously never died. My mother was afraid someone else would usurp her talent. 01-May-2021

Tags: Family, Food, Mental Health, Mother, Myself, Women In Charge




I shut the fuck up like my stepfather. 29-Apr-2021
I shut the fuck up too so I can listen to her. 15-Oct-2020
You bet she did. Thanks, mom. Kisses. 19-Sep-2020
A mother's greatest gift to her child is to shut the fuck up and listen. 13-Sep-2020

Tags: Mothers, Responsibility, Sad, Support, Women In Charge




The town handyman asked me (the town weirdo) out on a date and I sort of accepted it. I didn't want to but it was a casual appointment. "One of these days... how about you get in my truck and I show you around?" For a minute I felt like Blanche DuBois. When I realized that I was Blanche Dubois I panicked. There is no such thing as gay precoital dates. Is there? It was nice being asked but no. I will go on the date posthumously. When my ghost returns, me and him are going to have a talk. 29-Apr-2021

Tags: Aging, Dating, Environment, Gay




Tags: Art, Done




Fright of my sister and her constant abuse made me the best cowgirl licker on the planet. (Wasteful Jedi trick.) 23-Apr-2021

Tags: Family, Gay, Myself, Perception, Relationships, Sex, Sister




As soon as the giant man of your dreams crashes them by unexpectedly cumming into your hole before you get to twitch, don't threaten him with a frying pan like my mother does. Turn the session into a drag race. Ask him if he can cum even faster. Next time, clock him. Encourage him. Can he do it faster? And faster? Even faster? He'll feel pressured to perform. Men are a brilliant probability that are dumber than their cocks. Oh, I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to rush you. Cum when you need to. Take your time. You wanna try fucking me again? Good boy. If that doesn't work, smack him while he's cumming. (It may take a few weeks but isn't he worth it?) 22-Apr-2021

Tags: Sex




One of my best friends ghosted me because I admitted I was old. LOL! 20-Apr-2021

Tags: Friends, Gay, Myself, Nobody Cares, Psychology




I fucked my nemesis. He was a muscular churro with an angry attitude, grey eyes, boyish youth and he hated me. He thought I bumped into what he liked because I wanted to steal it. It became competitive. He stole more often than I but I think he thought I stole better (what he most wanted.) There's no such thing.

Club time. Hanging out with friends, fucked up with slim pickings on the horny horizon... my nemesis asks me to dance. Sure. He was hot and I was on fire so why not? Let's put hate behind us. We danced all the way into my bedroom. I was going to "hate fuck" my nemesis. Woohoo! He goes "really?" and pulls out a mountain climbing rock. Oh fuck. That's not how I figured it. There was no argument. Man with the best hand wins. Yes, my nemesis was going to fuck me and I was going to experience some hate. Every thrust was hateful. I locked him out as many times as my "asshole" would allow just to make it difficult. Dude penetrated every time. The explosion was massive for both of us. My clouds parted as soon as he bared his soul to me and I came. Fuck!

Morning. My friends thought it would be cute to invade my space by inviting themselves to a non-existent breakfast. They came to defraud him. He had conquered plenty of their conquests and they wanted revenge. They were witches. I tried to stop them but there were too many voices. "He's not what we thought, guys." They showed "before and after pictures" like he was on trial, made him take out his contact lenses, show his plugs, admit to surgery, his age and his identity. The beautiful boy, disrobed, destroyed, humiliated and defrauded. He hated me because I was a real boy. He left punished and I never saw or heard of him again. What the fuck? When he showed me his soul, I saw mine too. My friends sucked. Squirt. 19-Apr-2021

Tags: Gay, History, LGBTQ, Myself, NSFW, Puerto Rican, Relationships, Sex, Youth




My mother schooled me so forcefully about trans people that for a minute, I became a Republican. Wow, the legendary fagbasher learned all the LGBTQ pronouns. My mother can accept all the letters of the gay alphabet as long as they're not closely related to her. Thank God, I was only one letter.

Mother: a man can never love a man the way a man loves a woman. It's not possible. 16-Apr-2021

Tags: LGBTQ, Mother, Psychology, Women In Charge



Next Page