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Fright of my sister and her constant abuse made me the best cowgirl licker on the planet. (Wasteful Jedi trick.) 23-Apr-2021
As soon as the giant man of your dreams crashes them by unexpectedly cumming into your hole before you get to twitch, don't threaten him with a frying pan like my mother does. Turn the session into a drag race. Ask him if he can cum even faster. Next time, clock him. Encourage him. Can he do it faster? And faster? Even faster? He'll feel pressured to perform. Men are a brilliant probability that are dumber than their cocks. Oh, I'm sorry honey. I didn't mean to rush you. Cum when you need to. Take your time. You wanna try fucking me again? Good boy. If that doesn't work, smack him while he's cumming. (It may take a few weeks but isn't he worth it?) 22-Apr-2021
One of my best friends ghosted me because I admitted I was old. LOL! 20-Apr-2021
I fucked my nemesis. He was a muscular churro with an angry attitude, grey eyes, boyish youth and he hated me. He thought I bumped into what he liked because I wanted to steal it. It became competitive. He stole more often than I but I think he thought I stole better (what he most wanted.) There's no such thing.
Club time. Hanging out with friends, fucked up with slim pickings on the horny horizon... my nemesis asks me to dance. Sure. He was hot and I was on fire so why not? Let's put hate behind us. We danced all the way into my bedroom. I was going to "hate fuck" my nemesis. Woohoo! He goes "really?" and pulls out a mountain climbing rock. Oh fuck. That's not how I figured it. There was no argument. Man with the best hand wins. Yes, my nemesis was going to fuck me and I was going to experience some hate. Every thrust was hateful. I locked him out as many times as my "asshole" would allow just to make it difficult. Dude penetrated every time. The explosion was massive for both of us. My clouds parted as soon as he bared his soul to me and I came. Fuck!
Morning. My friends thought it would be cute to invade my space by inviting themselves to a non-existent breakfast. They came to defraud him. He had conquered plenty of their conquests and they wanted revenge. They were witches. I tried to stop them but there were too many voices. "He's not what we thought, guys." They showed "before and after pictures" like he was on trial, made him take out his contact lenses, show his plugs, admit to surgery, his age and his identity. The beautiful boy, disrobed, destroyed, humiliated and defrauded. He hated me because I was a real boy. He left punished and I never saw or heard of him again. What the fuck? When he showed me his soul, I saw mine too. My friends sucked. Squirt. 19-Apr-2021
My mother schooled me so forcefully about trans people that for a minute, I became a Republican. Wow, the legendary fagbasher learned all the LGBTQ pronouns. My mother can accept all the letters of the gay alphabet as long as they're not closely related to her. Thank God, I was only one letter.
Mother: a man can never love a man the way a man loves a woman. It's not possible. 16-Apr-2021
My amazon primate (my mother) didn't allow masturbation in the house. "It's unclean." It's why no internet, computer or any other hostile sex conducting tech ever made it to our house or our poor stepfather. If I were Spider-Man it would take her two weeks to find out, she would destroy all my tech, burn the costume in front of me and marry Jonah Jameson.
Mother: there is no need for men to masturbate. That's what women are for. 15-Apr-2021
We're here, we're queer and we're going to fuck your husbands! 04-Apr-2021
IN THE ORIGINAL STORY, PINOCCHIO KILLED JIMINY CRICKET
I was raised by Amazons. The women in my life were hierarchy. I was trained that all men are scum but they pay the rent so we have to put up with them. You may keep the ones that tickle the ivory longer than the ones that can pay the rent but that is an individual choice. I was going to be unique. I'd be raised as a boy with a female alpha mentality.
The only boyish thing I did was have sex with other boys/men. Ooh, that sounds girlish too. I did no boy things.
If we are allowed to accuse and punish we should be able to examine what weirds/drives them out. Changing what men hate should be a self realization and a compromise. I wanted out of girly world. I have a dick and I am nothing like them. I am not a girl. I wanted to be a boy like Pinocchio. (Scariest story ever because it's depraved and life has no happy ending and the "real" book made me hate it because it was my truth but it gave me hope. I will not be a schmuck puppet.) They never realized there was a boy underneath until the neighbors told them so. "Why isn't your boy married?" I became a lie that thrived but disappointed when I revealed the truth.
The men that popped up occasionally were full of drink, exhaustion, perversion and hate. The men bestowed me wisdoms about "you know who" and tips on how to sneak in extracurricular sex but then they disappeared or died. The parties were masquerades except when the tired broke free and exposed an ugly truth. The fairytale lasts as long as it takes a kid to fall asleep. Flirting, cheating and fights aplenty. The boys kept playing at Prince Charming while the women took credit for it. Somebody got laid, crowned, a new home and family whilst the other, got her rent paid. The kids were either in on the plan or out.
My mother and sister cured me of lying by aggressively harassing me. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I told a lie and got beat up, I told the truth and got beat up. I decided to tell the truth so it could mean something.
My stepfather stopped talking after his heart attack. He can but won't. He is so afraid to misspeak or insinuate the wrong thing to offend female empowerment that he stopped talking to my mother and everyone in the family because he can't handle the stress. He is being raised by Amazons. The exact same ones as I. He is a dumb alpha ex-jock stuck in a girly world and it's his punishment for cheating with whores. (Yeah, but he paid the rent!)
Mary Richards is my favorite feminist. She didn't want to downgrade men, she wanted to join them. She liked men. Lou the alpha respected her and everybody else adored her. Female empowerment is not about being a "Queen." If you want to be a Queen move to England. All's fair in love and war. That doesn't sound equal to me. We must remember that when "he" declares it. 02-Apr-2021
One of my exes was a twin with an elder that came out gay at different times in their lives. Historic. Mother was a hard woman with a warm heart. Daddy demurred with kind eyes and macho swagger. They were guido-jew fabulous and emotionally florid. My relationship with the family evolved. Rough and misunderstood initiations matured into love and sympathy. I became family.
My boyfriend's twin was straight during my integration. I guarded myself and respected his boundaries, we never said more than " hi, bye" even when he kept coming into the kitchen with his shirt off to distract us. Every time I visited, he strolled in like James Dean looking for soda while his mother screamed, "put a shirt on! We have guests!"
The twins were fraternal. His brother was Mercury godlike whilst my boyfriend was made at the Chucky factory (he was nuts! but I loved him. No wonder he was forever angry. Funny as fuck, though.) Anyway, we broke up and became close friends for many years. I never met the older brother because my ex thought he would steal me away. From myself? "But we're just friends." "Don't matter, I know him, you're his type. Forget about it." I did. In 30 years I've never met his eldest brother.
I saw pictures of his brother and spoke to him on the phone. Once again, he was cuter than Chucky but not as beautiful as the twin from another father. Wasted sweat on my ex's part.
My friend was dealing with our breakup by clinging to relationships that were unkind to his sensitivity. Straight twin confessed to letting my ex's Puerto Rican captive suck him off. They would drive my ex to therapy so he could repair his failing marriage whilst the brother and lover went at it in the car. I did not see that coming. It triggered 5 years of frustrating drunk friend retreads about how the love of his life sucked the cum out of his stupid brother. After failed ideations proved unrealistic, Mercury came out to everyone. 10 years later. He was the last brother to come out. The parents gave up their influence on all of their boys and dealt with what was determined. I admired them for that.
Years after coming out a "dashing squishier twin" and I finally had a conversation during a 30 Something Lifetime reunion. Yes, the walk through the kitchen was flirting. No, I thought he was straight. Definitely, we both wanted to. Why didn't either of us make a move? Because my/your brother would have killed us! We laughed nervously as Chucky glared at us. 27-Mar-2021
Why are trees so insistent on taking credit for the weeds they wrought? They poisoned the world. 24-Mar-2021
I was under 25 living a fantasy gay lifestyle with my perfect partner in Brooklyn. I lived 20 blocks from my mother and my newly appointed stepfather. It was like living in a colorized version of "I Love Lucy." Yes, I was as corny as all of you once.
Mother calls hysterical. We had to come over. We were just there. What happened?
Rewind: my stepfather wanted to be more seductive for my mother so he called us for advice. My Russian advised him to get her flowers, lay them out, get a thong and strip for her. I agreed it might be fun for her. It was all the craze and my stepdad had the body.
FF: a family dinner was the event where he decided to put sexy daddy in motion. I was flabbergasted but I didn't want to embarrass him and or hear the wrath of mom. I watched as he stripped to a thong and ran her out into the kitchen. He automatically proceeded to dance and strip for my lover and I. Dude, my lover was getting into it. I slithered into the kitchen before my stepdaddy lap dance, checked on mom and she was furious. "That fuckin' maricon." Men don't do that shit. I'm humiliated. I apologized and told her it was my fault and that I thought it would be cute. I didn't know he was going to take it so seriously. She softened, laughed and whispered that "he used to be a bouncer at gay clubs. That's where he learnt the moves. (I didn't know bouncers had to bounce.) He says he never did anyone there but after today I'm not so sure." My mother accepted it as a joke, stepfather got dressed, we ate hardy, laughed ridiculously and went home.
Mother: Something's wrong with your stepfather, he's beating himself up,"como un loco." I think it's an army thing.
I was what? I returned to mother's and he was indeed beating himself to a pulp. He was punching himself and body slamming his head against the walls. We restrained my bloody step and stored him in a room away from my mother.
Step: your mother... (he couldn't speak)
Me: why were you punching yourself dad?
Step: (crying) because she pushed all my buttons and I wanted to hit her. I made a promise to myself that I would never hit another woman, ever, so instead of punching her, I punched myself.
Mother: pendejo. He really is an idiot isn't he? (She laughs. Ok. I laughed too.) I would rather he hit me and prove that he's a man instead of acting like this. (More laughter.) Your father knew how to corral a woman. I liked that. That's the kind of man I want. Not this. You have some of that too. (Ha!)
I asked he if she got off on it and she said yes. Out of the blue...she admits Osama Bin Laden gave her wet dreams. "There is something about that man. Don't you think?" (I was speechless. Why is she telling me this shit?)
I've taken her to countless hospitals with boyfriend injuries and interceded physically to save her life and she gets off on it? The hurt, the police, the pity, the crying, the worry, the danger, the attention, the fraud, the violence all for a tickle? 05-Mar-2021
Jealousy has no place in a relationship.
Man: the last time she was jealous I couldn't keep my hard-on while fucking her younger sister. The little pie thought I was a chump. Do you know how difficult it is to keep it hard when you're being texted every 10 minutes? I couldn't cum inside her and now she feels empty. She was so upset that she almost lost her husband's baby. That shit is embarrassing. No more texting, are we clear? 02-Mar-2021
Shouldn't creating a thicker skin take precedence over being insulted by everything? It's only one step. Ignore and move on. They're always going to be there. 23-Feb-2021
How can a country blame all of its woes on one man (DT) yet no one can pin one on mom? 24-Jan-2021