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Movies

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Red Rocket (2021) Howl

It's one of the last movies on your must-see list. It approaches it's subject organically. Simon Rex, gay boy of our dreams, plays an ex-demi-god porn star of abundance who can fuck almost any troubled girl into doing things for him. Homeless and violated Rex makes it to his ex-wife, mother-in-hillbilly-law and an old life he escaped. He's constantly explaining himself and piling the lies. Our marbled eyed daddy makes money to win them back. Ex-wife pokes him once or twice for old and new times sake. Mama likes the money. Daddy meets a teenage queen who will resurrect his stamina and spark less Viagra use. That's fucked up for everybody. She is also the ticket for his porn comeback. Ex-pretty boys who become hotter daddies will get fucked and "fucked!" Simon Rex is a rocket. In need of a fix and not caring who knows it. He's lit the whole time. The cast was natural and diverse and most of all, integrated. I immediately identified. 26-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Lesbian, Magnetism, Relationships, Romance, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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26-Jan-2023


Screaming Skull, The (1958) Arf

Rich woman with psychological problems marries a dried up coochie player in the hopes of finding normalcy and family. Daddy coochie gaslights because he thinks she is incapable of the truth and doesn't want to cause her more anxiety. Her parents drowned because she couldn't save them. Her latest coochie grabber's ex-wife may be haunting her new home. Daddy leaves her home alone a lot. I saw a crappy colorized version that hinted how nice it would have been in color if you separated it by seconds. Marriage is entrapment and not a contract. The only way to prove to yourself that you are not psychologically impaired is to marry. Your partner will legally let you know what's wrong with you. 23-Jan-2023

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, False Action, Horror Mild, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Words Spoke

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23-Jan-2023


Menu, The (2022) Bites

The menu didn't serve enough choices and didn't take advantage of it's clientele. Face actor Fiennes was ready to do some really mean things but he ended up depraved and soulless. What makes foodies offensive is not their meal choices but their business dealings? Hong Chau creeped out and overcame ick material. Nicholas Hoult didn't get a chance to swing. Taylor-Joy gave good face but subtle depth. Was John Leguizamo the only latin pimp with taste buds they could think of? He doesn't belong. The horror element is copied from a better script's cliff notes. The actors did not do like Lucy and make us believe they were eating that shit. Hardly anybody ate. Didn't get it, didn't care because I eat to survive. 22-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror, Mean Spirited, Political Satire, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Star Watt, Tedium, Wit Crack, Writer Humiliation

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22-Jan-2023


Drop, The (2022) Whimper

 
I felt like it was written by someone that constantly cancels therapy sessions. Married lady who is attempting to bear child with hubby goes to a lesbian wedding, holds their kid and drops it. They react as you would expect and not. Everything that leads to the wedding is patronizing. Married lady who can't have no children and dropped a kid becomes an unworthy ally, mother and wife. All the characters are cuckoo, babbling about the latest politic that social media hypnotized them with. They're all talking with little connection. Jermaine Fowler had the chops but they didn't let him charbroil them until the end. Utkarsh Ambudkar played a fuck you rendition of an asshole. It was humiliating and brilliant. The ladies stood back as if they were auditioning for high rated TV. What's the point of going on a trip that doesn't matter. 22-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Life, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Jan-2023


All Quiet On The Western Front (2022) Howl

The details identified were gratifyingly fresh. The movie is relentless from beginning to end, setting up the dreams of boys as they're woked into becoming men in a war that could have been avoided. The significance that war is not a boys game runs throughout. War creates toxic men and brave soldiers with hell in their dreams. The politics were presented with the right amount of exposure and clarity. I understood it. A great musical score minimizes itself so the story can sing. It sang with an orchestra. Deft hands aplenty and cheers. 21-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Stomper, Best In Foreign, Best In War, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, History, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Sweet, Touching, Violent, War, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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21-Jan-2023


Top Gun: Maverick (2022) Arf

Reminders from the past were a return to better things. They had a good amount of gas and revved up nicely. The Mach 2 opener was a tightly wrapped exercise that was crushed by the weight of the music. Music was programmed to force us to feel. I am not a fan. I would have cut the music, kept the sound effects and never pan away from Daddy Kickass' face. Jennifer Connolly seemed refreshed and in a good place. Reunions were sweet and respectful. Hamm needed to add a bit of anaconda to his Admiral's swag. Every time he squeaked an order, I laughed. His facial shots were mostly eyeroll, eyeroll bitch and eyeroll exasperation. The younglings were not interesting or fleshed out. Their purpose was to function for the machine. The beginning was full of close-ups of actors conveying to someone who might not be there. Boy, was I sorry I noticed that. Full frames and blurs were what my eyes kept being subjected to. Are they or aren't they? Let's count. Fuck! When it expanded at the end, I felt relief but the music swelled and the rah rah began and I became sad that men have to congratulate themselves. 20-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Pretty, Sentimental, Sequel, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-Jan-2023


Pale Blue Eye, The (2022) Woof

Christian Bale plays his detective with self-control and whispers. The man is unnervingly entertaining. The film takes you to a place you don't want to be but since you're there, why not try it? It hooks its audience immediately. Edgar Allan Poe becoming his deputy, figuring clues and outsmarting the other, was fun. I almost expected young Sherlock to show up with his dancing pastries. I thought Lady Gillian was one of those pastries. You couldn't get enough of her. The investigation is the whole of the film and the soul is the end. 12-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cold, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Fun, Good Acting, Mystery, Psychological, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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12-Jan-2023


Woman King, The (2022) Whimper

Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Retread, Revenge, Sap, Silly, Timid, Writer Weakness

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05-Jan-2023


Tag A-Long, The (2015) Arf

The child looks like a foreign creep from the same world. It establishes the dread and the style. Grandma, grandson and girlfriend have an established relationship that is misunderstood and unrecognized by all parties until cflimate change happens. For every tree that gets knocked down, a human is tasked to replenish it. I liked the drama and the characters but scares didn't pound with sense. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director Movement, Drama, Foreign, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Suspense, Sweet, Vague, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Jan-2023


White Noise (2022) Bites

Spending all your time fearing death is not living. Independent housewives who feel apathy in their routine will take an ick to numb it. Of course, the daughter blames the ick for making mama forgetful. Maybe forgetting is the key. Dumb teenager believing everything they read on the internet and sending pregnant daddy on a mental loop cycle because she lost all common sense. He spends all his time annoying with german babbling, recounting tidbits of Hitler's art and bragging how it was the foundation for his career. It's time he paid more attention to his wife. Were the people the toxic cloud? It's irrelevant. It doesn't land and when it wants to, it spirals and crashes. The weight is on Driver but his character is unsympathetic. That's what happens when you try to cash in on someone else's legend. Gerwig lends nothing to a nothing woman that needed lots of pap smears and mental hospitalization. Except for the ick nagging daughter, all the kids were cutouts. Every time Cheadle approached to philosophize nonentities I wished Thanos would make him disappear. It yada yadas to death and says nothing. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Cold, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Grating, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Weird, Writer Weakness

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02-Jan-2023


Matilda: The Musical (2022) No MoonsEarly Exit

It's even worst with headphones. Who can fall asleep with all that racket? 30-Dec-2022
As soon as the music tried recalibrating my ears, I booked. 29-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Music Murders, Music: Disposable Soundtrack, Tedium

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30-Dec-2022


Black Phone, The (2021) Arf

A bully is a victim before they become a predator. A predator is nothing but an angry child. The children were the core and mumbo jumbo was the calisthenics. The phone was a stretch but gifting someone with heavenly sight left no room for art. They beat the course but failed the test. The boy doesn't figure his way out. The cops are the stoopidest. Impossibility aids. Kids are tortured but ass clowns with dilemmas aren't. Why would a kid remember and know so many missing kids? The serial must grab a kid every two weeks. Why weren't the phone calls from slave boys of the past recounting how they got past their masters? Why didn't the film turn realistic and write all the hints on the walls and actualize via flashbacks? Hawke delivers a stand-in performance. We have no idea who was underneath all those masks. If it can't be thoughtful, exciting or coherent, be a survival guide for sexually abused children. 28-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Creepy, Director Experiment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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28-Dec-2022


Invitation, The (2022) Bites

A visually appealing cast is wasted on a production team that doesn't know how to stimulate people. It says women are dysfunctional without family. It's forever emptiness like a missing appendage or lost luggage. Half black girls all want to be white. The best man game in town is offering women free stuff. The #1 reason women get into trouble is because they accept free stuff. I spent the first hour wondering if a starving artist would actually wear a nose ring to meet royal snoots. At the end, it didn't matter but it had me tuning in and out, wracking my brain until it got really stoopid and I stayed tuned 100%. 26-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Hands Off Approach, Drama, Elegance, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Scare Obvious, Trashy, Writer Weakness

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26-Dec-2022


Glass Onion (2022) Arf

Daniel Craig returns to torture southern accents and be a dork. Janelle Monae acted better with an accent but not so much as herself. She needs an injection of actor vulnerability. Kathryn Hahn is still a witch. I couldn't see Leslie Odom Jr. and Jessica Henwick through all that glass. Hollywood never took advantage that Kate Hudson is her mother's doppelganger. Bautista was full on daddy and Edward Norton deserves a comeback. Elements of the whodunnit were clever but the whole was overblown. 23-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Big, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Silly, Star Watt, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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23-Dec-2022


Black Adam (2022) Bites

Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comic Book, Depressing, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Fatigue, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Star Watt, Trashy, Wit Crack

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21-Dec-2022




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