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Fear Street Part 3: 1666 (2021) Whimper

Mythology overload. Lesbian witches are a creation of man's impotence and disregard for boundaries. The curse is complimentary. 21-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Drama, Gay, Horror, Preposterous, Silly, Slow

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21-Jul-2021


Mapplethorpe, The Director's Cut - (2021) Arf

A history making photographer tries to cancel the soullessness in art. Gay men in denial, destroying lives in their quest to appear wholesome and delicious, for the ultimate dick. The first thing we learn is how to suck, the second, to fuck, third, pray for more and lastly, die a disease riddled and drug infested death. The dots are perfect for great gay sexual simulation but the direction is uncomfortable with it. Mapplethorpe sought perfection in a world that punished him for it. The movie punishes us. 18-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Gay, Relationships, Star Watt, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke

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18-Jul-2021


Shipwrecked (1990) Woof

Twinkster disinherits himself from family business after father is injured on a boat. He wants to prance around at home and live a gay lifestyle but poverty is on the horizon and evictions are forthcoming. The twinkster becomes a cabin boy and a hero on his way to becoming a man. The mystery is well plotted, it connects with very simple realities, trials await all who become men and only little orphan/stowaway girls have the experience to kick it like a man. 16-Jul-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Mystery, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Jul-2021


Fear Street Part Two: 1978 (2021) Whimper

Someone needs to tell little girls that they are not the only spectacular creatures in the world. If you want to keep your coffee hot, keep heating it. It was lukewarm. 15-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Depressing, Fatigue, Silly

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15-Jul-2021


Raya & The Dragon (2021) WhimperEarly Exit

The message of the film is "all men suck!" 14-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Animate, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writer Humiliation

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14-Jul-2021


Barb And Star Go To Buena Vista (2021) Arf

Unusually mild comedy about 2 "glue factory" pals realizing they can live life and talk at the same time. Wiig has difficulty transferring her TV magnitude to the big screen but her amiability is intact. McLendon adds bitchiness to her evil. Pretty boy Dornan had me checking for Alzheimer's and wanting earplugs every time his accent veered. The musical numbers fell flat due to lack of training. The only line that made me laugh was about Florida smelling like Red Lobster. The rest was a grab bag of immature silliness. It's not about anything. It's a Sesame Street friendship. 10-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Preposterous, Romance, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Jul-2021


Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) Arf

Kong vs. Kardashians. 10-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, By the Numbers, Dialogue Lament, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt

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10-Jul-2021


Johnny Guitar (1954) Woof

At no point did I strum for Johnny when Joan was the instrument. She cowboy'd up, accomplished some manly maneuvers, looked great, flicked her own and sent the lesbian and her male posse out to the western stratosphere. Pazuzu from "The Exorcist" (Mercedes McCambridge) was the town Karen, interfering in bisexual woman's business by inciting a mob of lawmen to protect the town from unclassified hedonism. Battle ensues as the lesbian pretends she has a soft spot for one of Joan's goons. "Bitch, there's only one man in the room and her name is Joan!" 08-Jul-2021

Tags: 1950s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Western, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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08-Jul-2021


Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) Woof

Teen lesbians break up after the other moves to a better town and starts hooking up with boys. A jealous and violent prank accidentally disrupts a force that sends undead serial killers to obliterate them. The director has ballsy energy and the kids read well. It pays homage to the slasher film while making the violence more palpable and incorporating lots of baby kickass fun. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Art, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, Horror, Lesbian, Music Swings, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Jul-2021


What Bitch? (2020) Arf

8 minutes with latina amazons, driving in a car, where daughter aspyhxiates the family by providing no a/c or open windows. Daughter instigates a fight with a customer when they stop at a convenience store and sister's baby gets slapped. Girl fight with a concentration on boob damage. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hilarious, Mean Spirited, Physical Humor, Political Satire, Relationships, Short Film, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Words Spoke

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02-Jul-2021


No Place To Go (1939) Woof

Big daddy brute that spits sunshine in your face, suddenly awakens from his lavish slumber to rescue his dad whose stuck in a senior vet dump. The wife is uncomfortable but accepting. She can't warm up to having a child in the house. His contribution is well-intentioned but it doesn't conform to the modern world and he embarrasses the crap out of her. The staff keeps rotating because of his interference and idiosyncrasies. The constant gripes fatigue grandpa into finding his own niche amongst the prosperous by giving back to the poor. He befriends a child and adopts a dog. It pokes fun lightly, it sweetens gently and it hits you instantly. 28-Jun-2021

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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28-Jun-2021


Father, The (2020) Howl

We become childlike again with machinations in our heads, dependent on and annoying the people we once cared for and inheriting a worn brain that keeps timing out of a complicated existence. The director assimilates what the disease feels like and with good writing, affords it various scenarios. The actors are masterclass. 28-Jun-2021

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Life, Magnetism, Relationships, Sad, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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28-Jun-2021


Security (2021) Howl

Teen gets attacked and an investigator is tasked with rummaging through private security footage to resolve the crime. When the crime exposes the reality of his family life, he breaks. Our hero is a gruff everyman who doesn't want any more than what life offers and his wife is a power fucker that wants to get elected. Daughter is sleeping with her teacher because neither parent pays her any mind and she likes to torture daddy. Does daddy snoop on family trust to solve the case? A scary conundrum that no one wants to ponder. 28-Jun-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crime Drama, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Foreign, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Mystery, Relationships, Suspense, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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28-Jun-2021


False Positive (2021) Arf

Infertile wife visits an edgy clinic that promises results. Pierce Brosnan is the mad doctor whose business is to entertain women's fantasies. He's handsome, sketchy, with warm hands and a little bland. A snapchat into his perversion only made him normal. Justin Theroux was the pretty butterfly in the room. Ilana Glazer was miscast. She is not the type of woman to conform to a sexy suburban lifestyle, least of all, have friends, especially with that hair. Ms. Glazer seems like a representative of more important things. It's a scientific Rosemary's Baby without the devil or the scare. 27-Jun-2021

Tags: 2020s, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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27-Jun-2021


Child's Play 3 (1991) Arf

Chucky is revived by the manufacturer and a teenage Andy is forced into military school. Chucky takes on the army and wins. A teenaged Andy is too anemic to provide much suspense so the doll turns to black. Chucky is the it and the show. Nothing else matters. Higher blood count and lower common sense. 25-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Drama, Funny, Good Voice Act, Predictable, Preposterous, Timid, Wit Crack

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25-Jun-2021




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