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Movies

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Shazam! (2019) Arf

I don't understand why turning from a kid to an adult makes you goofy, especially if the youngster displays no sign of it. The corn and rah almost dismisses its significance but its ease and audacity of violence clinches it. 22-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Corn, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Kool Effects, Over the Top, Pretty, Silly, Star Watt

Permalink

22-Sep-2019


Ma (2019) Whimper

The film never gives ma the purpose that would allow her to enact revenge sensibly or enjoyably. Ma should have been the supplier of alcohol to teenagers that ended up driving and incapacitating someone she loved. Revenge ensues. Octavia exhibits instances in which exploitation of her gifts is considered but are continuously squandered by horror cliches. Octavia smashing face with a twink is a creepy highlight. 20-Sep-2019
The boys look underaged but the girls don't. That's hilarious. 19-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Revenge, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Timid

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20-Sep-2019


Meg, The (2018) Arf

Super shark, super daddy and super action. Nothing else matters. 19-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense

Permalink

19-Sep-2019


My Little Eye (2002) Whimper

It's all vegan undernourishment until the end where the meat and potatoes are served. 15-Sep-2019

Tags: 2000s, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Mystery, Political Satire, Suspense, Timid, Twisty, Writ w/Possibilities

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15-Sep-2019


Us (2019) No Moons

When a director can't wrangle a decent performance from two accomplished actresses (Nyong'o and Moss,) he isn't done with his training. The movie makes no sense and it doesn't deserve to breathe on anything resembling art. 15-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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15-Sep-2019


Crazy Rich Asians (2018) Woof

The presentation is a pristine and elegant throwback to the great traditions that makes us and the new that maintain us. Actor likability is high, writing vibrates and its style is effervescent. 14-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Romance, Sap, Sentimental, Sweet, Writ Tight

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14-Sep-2019


Captain Marvel (2019) Whimper

Jude Law is the new Sean Connery (fuckable at any age.) The film is flat comic book junk with bad hair that can keep disaster movie Supergirl, company. 12-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Fatigue, Manipulation, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Stink Wigs, Tacky, Unenthusiastic, Writer Humiliation

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12-Sep-2019


Nun, The (2018) Arf

Though self-evident and ridiculous the thrill spectacle contains mint scares. 07-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Funny, Horror, Mystery, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense

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07-Sep-2019


Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) Howl

The quest for survival does not always entail good judgment. Melissa immerses herself in a character that is designed to grate, frustrate and devour and supplies her with a humanity we can sympathize with. We ride happily along as she eviscerates the establishment that pulled the pedestal from under her because she wouldn't play the game. The support is top notch and the writing barks. 05-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Bio, Chemistry, Comedy, Crime Drama, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Political Satire, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Writ Tight, Writing Reigns

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05-Sep-2019


Frailty (2001) Arf

I can hear Paxton say "demon" all day. I can fall into melodious dreams hearing McConaughey narrate. The film straddles the supernatural with an organic crime story. It was a story that needed to be told straight or absolutely bonkers. The film lost the opportunity to provide readied performers with characters that could outshine them. It came close but its confusion expired it before the finish line. 04-Sep-2019

Tags: By the Numbers, Camp, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Mystery, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

Permalink

04-Sep-2019


Christopher Robin (2018) Woof

Awakening childhood dreams with a smile, a little magic and a lot of heart. 03-Sep-2019

Tags: Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Writ Tight

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03-Sep-2019


A Star Is Born (2018) Whimper

Unkempt and unglam remake that barely absorbs its time to set it apart. The music doesn't fulfill a star's talent, the gays are accessorized, and though there is regard between the leads, there is no heat. Cooper steals Kristofferson's voice but incorporates no swag; Gaga is just practicing. It's a cold and reductive remake. 03-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Inactivity, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Music Murders, Over the Top, Predictable, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Ugly Art, Unenthusiastic

Permalink

03-Sep-2019


Suspiria (2018) BitesEarly Exit

Unbearable horror ick. 02-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Early Exit, Fatigue, Gore, Horror, Inactivity, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Tedium, Weird

Permalink

02-Sep-2019


Loev (2015) Whimper

In need of clarification, it has shallow entertainment value and a lackadaisical push to move forward. 12-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Fatigue, Gay, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Romance, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird

Permalink

12-Aug-2019


Wife, The (2018) Woof

A genius beholden to society for a privileged life granted. A wife chained to such a man with no identity of her own. The story compels but missteps by presuming that we wont respect the woman unless she is of equal caliber. Why can't we respect the wife that stands idly by? There are more of them. Close was adroitly hired to give a schmuck his comeuppance but the writing lets her down. The countdown gets stuck when sudden happens and Close is abruptly halted from slaying. An almost. 30-Jul-2019

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Political, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Permalink

30-Jul-2019




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