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It adds enough to the genre to make it interesting but it doesn't supply enough tech or empathetic reasoning to make it a classic. Ms. Fox is a royal maximizer of presence and a soulless entity suits her well. Michelle Morone made me want to go the bathroom and jerk off to straight italian porn. Madeline Zima played a thankless role that depended solely on her likability and that's better than nothing. The movie satisfied but didn't satiate. More tech or more sex would have knocked it towards art park. No budget for more tech means they would have to physically create it. So, create it. Hubby would have become addicted to robot sex because that's what men do. "I only fucked her a few hundred times, sweetie. I was practicing for when you got your heart back. I didn't want to disappoint you." 09-Dec-2024
Lindsay Lohan made me realize why charismatic actors lose their mojo. Are they uncomfortable and think that everyone is going to judge every word they say? Yes. I want her to flare up again. She's almost there. She needs a challenge. My favorite fairy legend wastes her magic on shitty lines. If the writers have nothing valid for her to say, let her sing. Ian Hardy was a trip. I couldn't place him. He was that cutie asshole that always irked me, for sure. Of course, he was the perverted teacher that dated his underage students on PLL. Every time he smirked he resurrected a part of Norman Bates. The idea that a woman would want to keep that she dated a Darren Stephens the Second type a secret was astonishing. Just because it's fluff doesn't mean we shouldn't try to say something. 02-Dec-2024
The A.I. was too sparkly and bubbly. Action was stagnant. I had to look up the actors names to remember who was in it, even though I just watched it. The tension it built should have burst the story into the air but it got stenched with TV type trite that makes a farting sound. 30-Nov-2024
The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024
There's more than stupidity going on here. The cast is amiable and hardworking. Britt is a misdiagnosed charmer. Prattes legs were mesmerizing, it's fun to see old witches again, Maxwell Caulfield's moment was a go daddy thing, Chad Michael Murray had the body, the robotics, enthusiasm and Farrah's hair. They derailed the "hate at first love" train and depicted how people really get together. I didn't stay for the pancakes but I waited for the bacon. Merry whatever the fucks! 25-Nov-2024
From the first creak to the last scream, the interpretation of a classic is uncanny. Fede lip synchs Alien/Aliens achievements and aces it. He is not a copyist, though, he does everything the first two did differently but with the same dreadful spirit. The suspense was familiar and foreboding, the face huggers were scary as fuck, Andy is my favorite synthetic and the heroine was non-assuming. 22-Nov-2024
What Happened To Monday (2017) 
Glenn Close deserves to play a bona-fide witch. She'd be unforgettable. Willem Dafoe was cerebral and dominant. Marwan Kenzari is unbuckling. At first I thought it was the slicked back hair until I saw his beard. His beard had shadows. I could smell his smoke. What a beautiful beast. It was hardening. Noomi Rapace added texture to all her personalities and made them unique. Some of her guises were marvelous. The future is overloaded with children and the law has issued that families can only have one. A mother dies giving birth to septuplets and dad inherits the burden of keeping 7 sisters safe. He keeps them alive and they thrive until one goes missing. Action sequences were impactful, set-ups were energetic, the actors delivered and the director kept it interesting. 19-Nov-2024
If I were a dog, I'd lick them all. 18-Nov-2024
I found a good reason for Frosty to be fit. A witch froze him a long long time ago, blah, blah, blah, he turned into a fat snowman because of the harsh weather and has been resurrected several times. The more he melts after resurrection affects how many more pounds he sheds in the next rebirth. He meets his end when he turns into a puddle, a 100 sequels and years later. 17-Nov-2024
I am aware that this is supposed to be stupid but the title is a gimmick that is lightly actualized. Did he have to be so skinny? The ice sculpture he popped out of weighed more than him. There are way more hotter big men that can make you believe they are snowmen. Being safe is its biggest problem. How does anyone stretch their artistic wings when they have to self efface at every opportunistic turn? Magic is basically zip. Snowman has no abilities except quick learning and hot flashes. He'll melt when he's ready. A bit mythology wouldn't have hurt and it would have helped us connect. He's the blank iceman that women dream up when everything else dries up. (It's a good cooking companion.) 17-Nov-2024
A series plan might have suited the film better because characterization was thin. Zoe Saldana's spirit gets lost in spanish. Edgar Ramirez was an edible. A little more Adriana Paz would have broken my heart. The sex scene was so demure. They mimicked fucking each other. Selena was typecast as a bedhead drunk who sucks as a mother, can't really speak spanish and has no reason to be there. Karla Sofia was more than ready for her close-up but the writers couldn't come up with quality material that would allow her to burst. Cartel titan bamboozles frazzled lawyer into changing his identity by assisting him to become a woman, unbeknownst to anyone but her. The musical numbers succeed as much as they hurt. The actors don't really sing. They talk to music. An operatic approach might have suited its subject better. All who participated in the musical segments were brave enough to make us cringe. Kudos. Such openness. Who accepts a musical assignment without adding joy? A notorious killer can change its spots if they become the fairer sex. The transition wasn't believable. Did Perez not retain any of cartel leader's assholiness or survival skills? The film ponders no realities. You are instantly a saint when the sex change happens. If you go to prison for past errors you are compensated by having first pick of jailhouse wenches. Bingo! 16-Nov-2024
As soon as I realized the original material centered around a pet beast, my mind started to baton twirl. Thor was the title and the name of the dog. But, the movie is about a werewolf, a mother and son, or is it? Mariel Hemingway was peak star watt that carried the weight of the movie's heart. The son is there to make the dog look good. Michael Pare was a one-time specimen that carried out his mission like a rebellious animal. Romance violently exits in the first 10 minutes, a brother/sister/uncle dynamic takes its place, Thor was the best actor and the transformation didn't suck. Man vs beast has been re-re-written so they tried something else. How does a dog protect his family when uncle is the king of canines and the myth rules don't apply? 05-Nov-2024
Are You In The House Alone? (1978)
Kathleen Beller was a momentary icon that embodied being the naive girl that falls into temptation and then gets called out for it. Princess is being stalked and nobody gives a shit. Gwyneth's twin mother, Blythe supplies enough misunderstandings to compel her child to rebel. Baby Dennis Quaid's swag was thinking he could make women cum with only his dick. The film begins post crime with warnings and horror elements woven into it but it's not that. It's a sober approach that questions why all rapists can't get convicted. Life has a way of adjusting a lack of human justice though, by cursing the guilty party. "Scream like I screamed, bitch." 03-Nov-2024
They made us wait forever to see the man with the sculpted buns, they mimicked the mythology instead of enacting it, the lack of words made it easier to hide but hard to understand. They took a sample of what often occurs with a man beast and concocted a film. Samples can't describe the complete picture. It moves slow, the child is soulless, the wife doesn't matter, and daddy is one-note. Daddy is goofy happy and abusively angry. I recommend that Kit and his buns of stone make a better movie elsewhere. 31-Oct-2024
How does a suicidal woman survive when faced with danger? She puts her life-training to use because it's not death on her terms. Kelsey and Finn jelled. He rang a Hal Cooper bell. Suspense was tight and empathetic. We are in throughout the main's survival journey. Same'o circumstances upgraded. 28-Oct-2024
The film ties you in knots and takes you on a history excursion but the rope gets cut when we are most lost. O'Brien was pleasant, Ambrose practiced her magic, the cast believed and the director took us there. It needed further explanation to supply the intended impact. 27-Oct-2024
