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Hot Frosty (2024) Bites

I found a good reason for Frosty to be fit. A witch froze him a long long time ago, blah, blah, blah, he turned into a fat snowman because of the harsh weather and has been resurrected several times. The more he melts after resurrection affects how many more pounds he sheds in the next rebirth. He meets his end when he turns into a puddle, a 100 sequels and years later. 17-Nov-2024
I am aware that this is supposed to be stupid but the title is a gimmick that is lightly actualized. Did he have to be so skinny? The ice sculpture he popped out of weighed more than him. There are way more hotter big men that can make you believe they are snowmen. Being safe is its biggest problem. How does anyone stretch their artistic wings when they have to self efface at every opportunistic turn? Magic is basically zip. Snowman has no abilities except quick learning and hot flashes. He'll melt when he's ready. A bit mythology wouldn't have hurt and it would have helped us connect. He's the blank iceman that women dream up when everything else dries up. (It's a good cooking companion.) 17-Nov-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Cheeky Acting, Cliche, Cold, Comedy, False Action, Fantasy, Holiday, Sap, Silly, Timid, Vague, Wit Crack

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17-Nov-2024


Emilia Perez (2024) Arf

A series plan might have suited the film better because characterization was thin. Zoe Saldana's spirit gets lost in spanish. Edgar Ramirez was an edible. A little more Adriana Paz would have broken my heart. The sex scene was so demure. They mimicked fucking each other. Selena was typecast as a bedhead drunk who sucks as a mother, can't really speak spanish and has no reason to be there. Karla Sofia was more than ready for her close-up but the writers couldn't come up with quality material that would allow her to burst. Cartel titan bamboozles frazzled lawyer into changing his identity by assisting him to become a woman, unbeknownst to anyone but her. The musical numbers succeed as much as they hurt. The actors don't really sing. They talk to music. An operatic approach might have suited its subject better. All who participated in the musical segments were brave enough to make us cringe. Kudos. Such openness. Who accepts a musical assignment without adding joy? A notorious killer can change its spots if they become the fairer sex. The transition wasn't believable. Did Perez not retain any of cartel leader's assholiness or survival skills? The film ponders no realities. You are instantly a saint when the sex change happens. If you go to prison for past errors you are compensated by having first pick of jailhouse wenches. Bingo! 16-Nov-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Drama, Gay, Lesbian, Preposterous, Timid, Trans, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Nov-2024


Bad Moon, The (1996) Woof

As soon as I realized the original material centered around a pet beast, my mind started to baton twirl. Thor was the title and the name of the dog. But, the movie is about a werewolf, a mother and son, or is it? Mariel Hemingway was peak star watt that carried the weight of the movie's heart. The son is there to make the dog look good. Michael Pare was a one-time specimen that carried out his mission like a rebellious animal. Romance violently exits in the first 10 minutes, a brother/sister/uncle dynamic takes its place, Thor was the best actor and the transformation didn't suck. Man vs beast has been re-re-written so they tried something else. How does a dog protect his family when uncle is the king of canines and the myth rules don't apply? 05-Nov-2024

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Nov-2024


Are You In The House Alone? (1978)  Woof

Kathleen Beller was a momentary icon that embodied being the naive girl that falls into temptation and then gets called out for it. Princess is being stalked and nobody gives a shit. Gwyneth's twin mother, Blythe supplies enough misunderstandings to compel her child to rebel. Baby Dennis Quaid's swag was thinking he could make women cum with only his dick. The film begins post crime with warnings and horror elements woven into it but it's not that. It's a sober approach that questions why all rapists can't get convicted. Life has a way of adjusting a lack of human justice though, by cursing the guilty party. "Scream like I screamed, bitch." 03-Nov-2024

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Heart Writ, Horror Mild, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Rapey, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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04-Nov-2024


Beast Within, The (2024) Whimper

They made us wait forever to see the man with the sculpted buns, they mimicked the mythology instead of enacting it, the lack of words made it easier to hide but hard to understand. They took a sample of what often occurs with a man beast and concocted a film. Samples can't describe the complete picture. It moves slow, the child is soulless, the wife doesn't matter, and daddy is one-note. Daddy is goofy happy and abusively angry. I recommend that Kit and his buns of stone make a better movie elsewhere. 31-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror Mild, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Timid Effects, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Oct-2024


Don't Move (2024) Woof

How does a suicidal woman survive when faced with danger? She puts her life-training to use because it's not death on her terms. Kelsey and Finn jelled. He rang a Hal Cooper bell. Suspense was tight and empathetic. We are in throughout the main's survival journey. Same'o circumstances upgraded. 28-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Inspired, Music Swings, Psychological, Revenge, Star Watt, Suspense, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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28-Oct-2024


Caddo Lake (2024) Arf

The film ties you in knots and takes you on a history excursion but the rope gets cut when we are most lost. O'Brien was pleasant, Ambrose practiced her magic, the cast believed and the director took us there. It needed further explanation to supply the intended impact. 27-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Fresh, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Relationships, Sentimental, Slow, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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27-Oct-2024


Trap (2024) Bites

Hartnett's choice of psycho was goofy and almost unbearable to watch. The close-ups where he talks directly into the camera were off-putting and silly. The nepo concert felt endless and obvious. The father/daughter dynamic was thin and cardboard. They didn't show how Josh got from one place to another, he was just there. All the answers landed so simply that it trashed the clues. The twist was great as a spoken word but without presentation it's null. The home life doesn't enter until the end when we no longer give a fuck. Maybe it should have started there and include the daughter in the plot. She realizes he's psycho and has to kill him. But how?! 27-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Coincidence Laden, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, False Action, Grating, Music Murders, Music: Disposable Soundtrack, Oncer, Preposterous, Psychological, Relationships, Silly, Stupid Funny, Thriller, Timid

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27-Oct-2024


Servant, The (1963) Woof

The film presents interesting character development, a pace that is amicable and intelligent artists doing their thing. It's a product of 60's liberation. It was lust, sex and jazz. The mirror shots were cool and a stamp of British stroke. Lonely affluent man hires a streetwise butler to care for his expansive home and demands. The relationships are cold and it's hard to get a read on characters. The 50's aspect lulled me comfortably but the transition to the gogo 60's, turned my gut. Unexpected scenarios were aplenty. The film answers all our questions except, "why?" Every person we encounter is a power struggle. 26-Oct-2024

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Psychological, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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26-Oct-2024


Late Night With The Devil (2023) Whimper

In order for the premise to thrive, the guests must shine. The little girl was inspired by the Scary movie franchise. The host had the most but was overshadowed by ponderous material. Support did not attempt to break a stereotypical shell to elicit empathy or further their characters. It didn't intrigue me, convince me or frighten me. (My mother wins most awesomemest possession of a devil in realtime.) It's almost impossible to recreate magic that only happens once in a lifetime. 22-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Preposterous, Questionable, Silly, Slow, Timid

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22-Oct-2024


Woman Of The Hour (2024) Woof

The film is about bravery. A wallflower is just a ticking time bomb ready to exert herself when the time is right not to die and save others. It's the only instance, pent up anger is good. I admire that Kendrick spoke carefully for the victims. We do know more about the victims than we do about the killer. She stuck to her guns and limitations and created a really scary point of view. Good job. 18-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Bio, Creepy, Crime Drama, Director Movement, Drama, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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18-Oct-2024


Hold Your Breath (2024) Arf

The circumstances are creepy and claustrophobic, the era is that "time of the month" and the outcome is numb. Paulson gives more than it deserves. The daughters are convincing. The pace is nerve wracking. The scares were substantial. How does a person survive in an area nature doesn't want them in? Paulson is an easy follow but the ending copped out. 08-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Creepy, Director's Touch, Discomfort, Drama, Fantasy, Good Acting, Horror, Mystery, Predictable, Psychological, Questionable, Relationships, Sentimental, Slow, Star Watt, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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09-Oct-2024


House Of Spoils (2024) Whimper

Food can be an orgasmic delight or a fatal mistake. The film runs with it but keeps making U-turns to nonsensical scares. The premise felt fresh but lazy. I thought up cooler things to do with food to scare besides making it icky. Ms. DeBose restrained herself esp. her face. Her close-ups didn't convey much because her face was speaking a foreign tongue. I had no idea what she was thinking. Once again, the bombardment of one subject doesn't match the progression of the film. The script should never read like a resume. It shouldn't end like one either. Isn't the last line about hobbies and likes? 09-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Horror Mild, Timid, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

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09-Oct-2024


Inside Out 2 (2024) Howl

I let go of logistics and enjoyed it. 01-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Animation, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Comedy, Cute, Director Movement, Director's Achievement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Great Voice Acting, Heart Writ, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Sequel, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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01-Oct-2024


Challengers (2024) Arf

A lucent cast gets drowned out by its subject. I am aware that tennis would be a big part of a movie about tennis but tennis is not the background but a star. All parts of the film were well done except talk was from a fried script. I don't remember any conversations but the tennis ones. All day, all night whilst fucking and parenting, was tennis talk. They didn't even comment about food. The pretties were intoxicating but their emotions were tied to twin words that cast no realistic feelings, singularity or empathy. I have no idea what the storytellers were conveying. Great music, though. 01-Oct-2024

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Music Swings, Psychological, Romance, Sports, Star Watt, Tedium, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities, Writer Weakness

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01-Oct-2024




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