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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Oncer'

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Down (2001) Whimper

The act is porny, the conversations are ear splitting but the elevator has a wicked sense of humor. 27-Sep-2018

Tags: 2000s, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Director's Touch, Drama, Ear Prick, Funny, Gory, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Tough

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27-Sep-2018


Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975) Whimper

It's a constant pile-up you can't stop watching. 25-Sep-2018

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Funny, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Music Murders, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Porn, Preposterous, Rapey, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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25-Sep-2018


Lodgers, The (2017) Whimper

The curse never lives up to the resources the filmmakers were given access to. 24-Sep-2018

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Mystery, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Pretty, Shrill Act, Silly, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic

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24-Sep-2018


Call Me By Your Name (2017) Bites

Its insulting in its timing and the delusion that a teenager's "me too" is a right of passage. The disparity in size (Hammer's giant) and childlike looks (Timothee Chalamet) adds unseemliness to its presentation. Hammer distributes much awkwardness and little desire, maybe because he realized the discomfort of its subject.

Man/boy love is tricky if you don't account for its repercussions. It doesn't represent the gay community but it indicates that straits will stick it to anything and that uniting in sex will not absolve our confusion.

I'll call you what my first lover/daddy/asshole called himself..."bugarron." 07-Aug-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Oncer, Preposterous, Tacky, Tedium, Tough, Weird

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07-Aug-2018


Singularity (2017) Whimper

It hangs by a good thought that the planet could be saved if we eliminate mankind but the presentation lacks. 28-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Oncer, Open Ending, Political Satire, Preposterous, Silly, Twinkie

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28-Jun-2018


Black Panther (2018) Whimper

Gods and goddesses blessed with magical resources and riches hide under a celestial bubble fighting for their survival but sharing very little of it with the world and the neighbors they seem to emulate.

The accents waver, the muscle is weak and the girls fare better but not by much. The beauty of color keeps it alive but the 70's mod and religious adherence bring it outmoded corniness.

I celebrate its political success as I await to see an ethnic hero that embodies the film world with the same grace as its counter does. We have to start somewhere. 24-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Macho Posing, Oncer, Political Satire, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid Effects

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24-Jun-2018


Collector, The (2009) Whimper

Schooling for psychopaths on how to execute an ugly death. It's bloody torture. 20-Jun-2018

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Brutal, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fatigue, Gory, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Open Ending, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Scary, Suspense, Tough

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20-Jun-2018


Eden (2014) Bites

It's an inclusive jock party whose words and direction give no clue as to why they should flex a muscle. 01-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Camp, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, False Action, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Rapey, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tedium

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01-Jun-2018


Justice League (2017) Bites

It will continue to embarrass for as long as production is allowed to churn arid cornpop. They can't orchestrate a thrilling action sequence, the costumes don't befit a hero and it certainly doesn't flatter the artists (everyone clunks around) and the villain seems extracted from an outdated RPG. Cavill wakes up to serve us what's left of the Superman character and Amy Adams and Diane Lane are the only Amazons. Most of the artists left their joy elsewhere.

It needs to look at its animation for inspiration. 14-May-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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14-May-2018


Blade Runner 2049 (2017) WhimperEarly Exit

Beauteous in razzle dazzle, confusing and idle in action. Three hours is a lot to bear and all me and my lover wanted to do was feed Ryan Gosling cereal so he could crack up. 12-Apr-2018

Tags: 2010s, Bad Chemistry, Beautiful, Brutal, Comic Book, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Kool Effects, Oncer, SciFi, Tedium, Weird

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12-Apr-2018


Extreme Movie (2008) Bites

It belongs locked in a time capsule. Every teenage boy perversion is enacted without respect or acknowledgement of their desire. It is a catapult of "me too" and a denigration of all sexes. Depicting men and women as competitors in love or sex doesn't bode well for a society hellbent on exposing its normality.

When Matthew Lillard exclaims that he can't say that joke because he has two daughters but continues reading it, the movie and the immature men who made it are slanderously defined. 09-Mar-2018

Tags: 2000s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Rapey, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

Permalink

09-Mar-2018


Atomic Blonde (2017) Bites

She's blonde. 02-Feb-2018

Tags: Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Slice, Disappointment, False Action, Fatigue, Indecipherable, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

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02-Feb-2018


Office Christmas Party (2016) Whimper

There are moments where saccharin and fraternity are cast aside to serve impish amusement, like Aniston snapping to a bratter to go fuck herself, but it's mostly underwritten sitcom blather incapable of boosting their TV Q. 23-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Holiday, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, TV-like

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23-Dec-2017


Magnificent Seven, The (2016) Whimper

There is no magnificence.

The actors playact while embodying minute swagger.

The writers fudge a story whose heft relied on outlaws braving to protect a Mexican village that couldn't help themselves from marauders. The victims are mostly white christians which wafts of self-service. Though the cast is inclusive we are not privy to anything more from them than a diversity stamp.

The director lends no distinction or heroism to the action, has no sense of panoramic beauty and no credibility in the western genre. If you let the music tell half the story, your task remains incomplete. 20-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, False Action, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Music Murders, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Ugly Art, Western

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20-Dec-2017


Colossal (2016) Whimper

We've bullied and judged Anne Hathaway so harshly that she is no longer capable of supplying a character with natural ticks. Even when her character begs to be petulant, her need to be liked overwhelms. The only way she can surprise us is by inhabiting the soul "the haters" hashtagged her with and let it all go. The support also reciprocates badly.

This soup is a melange of original ideas executed by a crew that didn't understand them and a writer who sabotaged it.

This is a movie for a future audience to find. 03-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, SciFi, Tacky, Twisty, Weird

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03-Dec-2017




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