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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'

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Flash, The (2023) Arf

It failed because the lead was an inhumane dick that played it cute. Michael Keaton's Batman was a CGI hillbilly that bored us to death. We can't accept a punk rock Supergirl until we tire of blondes. Fortune will come as soon as the audience forgets who these fuckers were. 29-Sep-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Cheeky Acting, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Sep-2023


Woman Possessed (1958) Woof

A mother who has dedicated her whole life to making sure her son could take care of himself are reunited after two years, he's a doctor and engaged to be married. Mother is shocked at boy breaking mother monster bubble but he's in love. The introductions are awkward, full of rich people manners that can't mask hate. The conversations are human. Mother expounds an opinion that changes their lives forever. The couple bicker about how much control the mother has over her son and the backhanded humiliation future wife receives. Sometimes he was right, other times she was and half the time, both were. The mother blames the fiancee's weakness as to why she needs to suffer in her world. She was horrible when no one was around and she never let them see her sweat in a dress. The jury flip flops as did I. Uncle was cute, old maid was tired, of course, she had a mansion to clean, dress and cook for and young maid's exit was fucked up. The birthday party was a topper. The irony explains itself, the ladies were in good form and was that a lesbian ending? 22-Jul-2023

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lesbian, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Touching, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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22-Jul-2023


Babysitter, The (1969) Woof

The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cultish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sexy, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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07-Jul-2023


Knock At The Cabin (2023) Whimper

The first shot aspired to greatness. People sharing the same belief targeted for survival. Dave Bautista jumped off the page and ended up a Lex Luthor on some greater planet. The director doomed art with mumbo jumbo and lucky coins. I mentally conducted scenes before they happened. The kid was cute but I totally wanted her to be a M3GN. They filleted a Harry Potter veteran before his time and Ben Aldrige's identity were his well crafted legs. I'm fuzzy on his face, though. Jonathan Groff chose Edith Bunker likability as his acting inspiration, he was a dowdy housewife with the spirit of a freedom fighter. The director separated reality from conflict and ruined the whole thing. 28-Jun-2023

Tags: 2020s, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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28-Jun-2023


Porn Theatre (2004) Woof

Before social media, gay men congregated in straight porn theaters for sex and sympathy. They made money, were entertained, became excited, desired, it curbed loneliness and they got to fuck some woman's husband. Drags, trans and sissy boys roamed the theater like rats, scurrying around, scoping the cheese and avoiding the light while cheese daddy sat still with his legs wide open, waiting to be licked clean for respect and/or money. Street King Daddy shit. Sex is thrust upon us. It makes the impact real. The hunt is on. Sexual simulation stimulated when real or fake. Conversations skillfully explained where the community was at. Some of the players counted how many big dicks they sucked that night. Were they given a discount? The ticket manager was a sad hetero too old to attract a fuck. She thinks that convincing a gay crush to marry her would become an arrangement they both could enjoy. I could see it as a Broadway musical. It takes very little time to establish character purpose and that's great for the film. It provides the map to how we got here. 27-Jun-2023

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Fresh, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Life, Political, Relationships, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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27-Jun-2023


Tar (2022) Woof

Invitation to a world we know little about, so they can explain themselves in high educated detail. Before an understanding of what the music fuck they are talking about, the film shuts us out. Tar created a family, success, working friends, an orchestra and a roomful of prizes and adoration. The director spent more time educating us about the mad professional rather than explain why her private life was so robotic. Mapping a character's career to establish how their mind works keeps audience attention until the snooze button pops up. An orgasmic technical achievement to its creator but it was bupkis to the people they were trying to reach. There was a lascivious side to Tar that was lightly explored. Lady Blanchett was the interest, the talent and the launch. I would have quit earlier had she not convinced me that I would witness art. She is art. Most of her gestures were off base. Her conducting shocked me. Are we supposed to cut in before the next instrument? Tar gets accused of misconduct, her sexual proclivities locked in a bottle unlike her rage. Cate was privy to a character's truth and conveyed it to the camera. Brava! 13-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Bio, Chemistry, Cold, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Lesbian, Psychological, Relationships, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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13-May-2023


Peter Pan & Wendy (2023) Arf

Peter Pan's dark locks switched the light off of the character's childlike sensibilities. He is supposed to be the effervescence of youth enhanced by the sprinkle of magic dust. Neverland is a miserable place, mired by historical guilt and the fear of becoming like our parents. Jude inhabits the unruly child that goes rogue because his friend was competitive and jealous. Were they lovers? Jude gave more credulity than the tech issued and made us ponder whether the backstory would have been a more entertaining film. Tinker Bell had no sparkle. Lilly whatever made no impact. Wendy was a Young Sheldon in a dress and British accent. Magic. The reasoning doesn't make sense unless an explanation is served about the very beginning. How did they all end up in such a horrible place? 11-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Musical Bombast, Relationships, Sentimental, Timid, Words Spoke

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11-May-2023


Horror In The High Desert (2021) Howl

I don't know if I would have reacted so strikingly if I knew that it wasn't what it was. I think blind is the proper way to see it and befits the mock ending. The acting is the accuracy that sells the illusion. The words and direction built interest, tension and fright. Giving the villain an excuse was a misstep because it lets the cat out of the bag. It kicked Blair Witch's ass. 20-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Best In Horror, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Documentary, Drama, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Scary, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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20-Apr-2023


Snowtown Murders, The (2011) Woof

A rough telling of a serial murderer who uses his hate for gays, family and all that get in his way to torture and kill. 4 brothers live with momma on a decrepit block, in a creaking house and a scary neighborhood. A neighbor babysits three of the boys and sexually molests them. I didn't quite understand how the mother found out. Did the LGBTQ tell her? She meets a man full of hatred who disguises it with charm. The teen boy is having boy problems. He keeps getting raped, losing friends and his mother is a follower who can't attract a proper man to follow. Teen bonds with new daddy unaware that he's an asshole. New daddy can't stop talking about killing pedos. The followers in his life concur. They should be allowed to kill them freely. Daddy gets into teen's head and secretly shares a sadistic side that the kid embraces because he is a victim of the people daddy wants to eviscerate. The Australian cast are so realistic that I couldn't understand them. TU cc. There are images that keep repeating in my brain because that caused it to silently scream whilst watching them. There's murder, rape, perversion, animal desecration, torture, hurt and realism. The film qualifies as Texas Chainsaw's cousin. 09-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Crime Drama, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Music Swings, Political, Psychological, Rapey, Scary, Suspense, Tough, Violent, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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09-Mar-2023


Promises, Promises (1963) Woof

Two wives wake up pregnant on a cruise ship after a blacked out incident with other men. An elegant woman infantilizes herself by marrying a muscleman that delivers but has no sperm. A sex bomb is married to a nerd who can't produce but keeps trying. A doctor intervenes with drugs and mind manipulation and all we can see is that magnificent bombshell married to a dork. Jayne Mansfield was an extraordinary presence. She can't lip synch. She was way off. Milli Vanilli off. She immersed herself in a Marilyn image that was hard to shake. Marilyn took everything seriously and Mansfield's rendition of Marilyn pokes fun at her. She can dance. I think she can sing. She takes a great bubble bath. I forgot what real tits looked like. It's okay. The director kept providing proof. An outrageous drag queen did her act, was a constant and didn't seem out of place. Her act was fun. Mickey Hargitay was man art. There was an old lady with a Spanish gigolo who kept feeding her food she was allergic to so she would die. He was cute. The film plays mind tricks but it puts on a great show. 05-Mar-2023

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Relationships, Sexy, Silly, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Mar-2023


This Woman Is Dangerous (1952) Arf

History lends the movie charm. Joan's precision was in full bloom. A gangster's mole with looks of steel, going blind. A jealous gangster can't fathom his girlfriend going out of town to get her eyes fixed. A doctor that performs miracles and spits sunshine saves her. Romance ensues as he keeps spitting sunshine and performing miracles to encapsulate her. Boyfriend heads towards her destination as the clouds start rolling by. He's rampaging, killing everything that gets in his way, even the sun. It drools and pants more than it deserves but Joan is a centerpiece worth watching. She saved the day by using woman's most cherished accompaniment, her purse. She was so focused that she portrayed blind even when she could see. Why isn't she looking at the other actors? She keeps looking towards us. Who the fuck is she talking to? She dotes on doctor's adorable child like she meant it! The crime drama finds movement at the end but the melodrama sort of killed it. 28-Feb-2023

Tags: 1950s, Action, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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28-Feb-2023


Orphan: First Kill (2022) Arf

Our lead actress was not properly lit to fool us into believing she was a child. The trick only works once. The horror is supposed to be a child doing very adult naughty things. If she had consummated with her crush it would have propelled the horror and daddy would have had a different stupid look on his face. The twist is exciting but very Ozark. It stalls, characterization falls apart and all is as it was except more unbelievable. 10-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Crapfun, Director Experiment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Horror, Mystery, Sequel, Silly, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Feb-2023


Red Rocket (2021) Howl

It's one of the last movies on your must-see list. It approaches it's subject organically. Simon Rex, gay boy of our dreams, plays an ex-demi-god porn star of abundance who can fuck almost any troubled girl into doing things for him. Homeless and violated Rex makes it to his ex-wife, mother-in-hillbilly-law and an old life he escaped. He's constantly explaining himself and piling the lies to establish false hope. Our marbled eyed daddy churns money to subside the women's rage and win their respect back. Ex-wife pokes him once or twice for old and new times sake. Mama likes the money. Daddy meets a teenage queen who will resurrect his stamina and spark less Viagra use. That's fucked up for everybody. She is also the ticket for his porn comeback. Ex-pretty boys who become hotter daddies will get fucked and "fucked!" Simon Rex is a rocket. In need of a fix and not caring who knows it. He's lit the whole time. The cast was natural and diverse and most of all, integrated. I immediately identified. 26-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Lesbian, Magnetism, Relationships, Romance, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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26-Jan-2023


Drop, The (2022) Whimper

 
I felt like it was written by someone that constantly cancels therapy sessions. Married lady who is attempting to bear child with hubby goes to a lesbian wedding, holds their kid and drops it. They react as you would expect and not. Everything that leads to the wedding is patronizing. Married lady who can't have no children and dropped a kid becomes an unworthy ally, mother and wife. All the characters are cuckoo, babbling about the latest politic that social media hypnotized them with. They're all talking with little connection. Jermaine Fowler had the chops but they didn't let him charbroil them until the end. Utkarsh Ambudkar played a fuck you rendition of an asshole. It was humiliating and brilliant. The ladies stood back as if they were auditioning for high rated TV. What's the point of going on a trip that doesn't matter. 22-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Life, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid, Vague, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Jan-2023


Nope (2022) Whimper

The characters are as blanched as photographing black people in the dark. They react but convey no thoughts or feelings. Kaluuya is an all day crank that has no good reason for living and Palmer is an annoyance that is not fully explained. Jordan Peele must have learned his craft on the street because it's nonsense. The big bad is a giant vagina that sucks everything up except condoms and bleeds profusely atop of people's houses like they were absorption pads. 18-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Over the Top, Preposterous, SciFi, Slow, Star Watt, Timid, Vague

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18-Dec-2022




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