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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Horror'

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Kindred (2020) Whimper

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Inactivity, Mystery, Psychological, Quiet, Slow, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

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20-Apr-2022


Halloween Kills (2021) Arf

Oops. Laurie and Mike are not the brother and sister alluded to in Halloween 2. It was a myth and a modern waste of a great arc. 21-Mar-2022
It assembled an historically amiable and able cast. Laurie Strode wasn't it's focus and I accepted that. There will always be a boogeyman stalking baby breaths and heroes willing to fight to keep them that way. The remembrances are welcome, the music is everything, the recreations worked but the constant reminder of Mike Myer's significance was hokey. The presentation screamed mythology over-identification. Michael Myers craned his neck in sympathy when he watched victims die. He ignored some but not others. It's tacky to make him talk but WTF? Is he a robot? I want to know what he's thinking. Give him voiceover thoughts or grunts. A showdown is brewing between brother and sister. It would be appropriate that before judgment is cast upon him that we get to hear his interpretation. 01-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Classic, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Gay Swatch, Horror, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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21-Mar-2022


Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Arf

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Camp, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Scary, Sequel, Stupid Funny, Tough, Trashy, Twisty, Violent, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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06-Mar-2022


Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Bites

Scripting black people to complain about cops and confederate flags is not thoughtful. Killing all the black actors anyway, is not giving a shit. Making me confused about female sexuality is a useless gay time thing. Leatherface is nothing without family dependability. He was the icing on the family cake. A family that celebrated meat, farming and death. Icing without cake is a blob. 22-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cultural, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Preachy, Repetitive, Retread, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack

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22-Feb-2022


Antlers (2021) Whimper

It makes you ponder things not worth a hill of beans because saying "hello" is not the same as "how are you?" They hired a mama and papa wrecker to be abused by a legend that is more of a stereotype than a mystery. The kids are nasty. I was highly insulted. 22-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Depressing, Disappointment, Fatigue, Horror, Preposterous, Rapey, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Violent, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Feb-2022


Diary Of A Madman (1963) Woof

Hordas are turning confused souls into killers. Hordas are hard to describe. They are ghostly, invisible, well-spoken, manipulating, manly and turn your eyes green before possessing you to avenge their thirst. Vincent Price is a magistrate trying to rehabilitate a killer Horda being legally beheaded because of incriminating evidence. The killer confesses to murder but not being himself. His eyes turn green and threatens a Horda curse. Price fights for his life and accidentally kills him. Price becomes distraught. Things at home are out of place and he's having Venom type conversations with a Horda that lost its home. Counseling convinces him to leave law and punishment and return to sculpting. His first love before his wife and child died. A married goldigger entices Mr. Price to model for him. The bitch that tried to steal Darrin Stephens from Samantha is the model. As soon as she sniffs how affordability can accommodate luxury, her panties wet faster than his clay and her "hot" "poor" husband becomes a blur. The green eye effect is hilarious. It's someone flashing a green light on the actor's eyes and being effective if they never move. They move. They're actors! It's a niche. Gay daddy clinches his part and makes us imagine the rest. "I imagined what kind of gay sex Mr. Price preferred. He definitely smoked like a bandit but I didn't smell much ass action." 16-Feb-2022

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Inspired, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Suspense, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Feb-2022


Candyman (2021) No Moons

Non-movie illustration of why "Oscar So White" is still so prevalent. Candyman is stripped of sensual ferocity, opinion and reason. His myth is re-written and implied by puppetry because the talent wasn't inspired to showcase it. The scares couldn't unhinge a cockroach. The deaths are remote with closeup shots of thick red Kool-aid. The violence is hesitant because most black people are petrified of supernatural violence. It scratches the ghetto but refuses to live in it because black people don't want to return there. Whites have gentrified the ghetto and blacks are mad as hell because they weren't given enough time to make their home livable. "Welfare knocked on my door before I had a chance to straighten up." "Bitch, you know white people can't watch good land go to waste." Blacks with dedication and drive enjoy the gentrified lifestyle while critiquing their hosts and avoiding the nasty parts of their neighborhood. This is all supposed to tie in with a confusing Candyman revenge backstory. The candy was uninspired. It should have looked scrumptious and colorful. It looked like granny's recycled Christmas candy. Only fat kids pick that shit up. It wasn't woke enough to have Colman Domingo fuck Candyman. The film required more gays so Candyman could kill the two. Too bad. In what world are there more cops in the neighborhood than community? 31-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Political, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Writer Weakness

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31-Jan-2022


Wasteland, The (2021) Bites

I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't grant us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Coincidence Laden, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Foreign: Spanish, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Wit Crack, Writer Weakness

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08-Jan-2022


Pinocchio (2019) Bites

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Creepy, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Preposterous, Scary, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Twinkie, Violent, Weird

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29-Dec-2021


Hell House (1981) Arf

An unaccomplished masterpiece disguised as a fraud. The fright was fraught with reason. Background was eerily traced. Twinks were luminescent and Linda Blair never flinched but the budget limited its art. 04-Nov-2021

Tags: 1980s, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Silly, Tough, Words Spoke

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04-Nov-2021


Bat, The (1959) Arf

Lesbian writer moves into a fully staffed mansion that quits once "The Bat" killer strikes town. Some of the pestilence Agnes Moorhead has to rid her mansion of is the Queen of Horror, Vincent Price. "The Bat" killer has only one claw. They couldn't afford a seamstress? Silly shenanigans aside, it's about a famous artist on the down low living a glorious life with her lover as her maid. Brilliant. That part. 02-Nov-2021

Tags: 1950s, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Drama, Funny, Gay, Good Acting, Horror, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Wit Snit

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02-Nov-2021


The Witches (2020) Arf

The witches are gnarly, devoid of characterization or abandon. It's a film made by a wizard that becomes only when love of family or magic is involved. Hathaway appeared willing to witch out but the accent and misdirection killed her. The kiddie adventure was neat as bonding with grandma was sweet. Cruelty gushed from the plight of the good. There's always a bigger animal ready to eat you. 02-Nov-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Comedy, Director Movement, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Horror, Over the Top, Relationships, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Suspense, Sweet, Words Spoke

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02-Nov-2021


A Quiet Place II (2021) Howl

What "Aliens" is to "Alien." The opening was fraught with surprises and director pumps. The original actors settled into their characters and the new blended in nicely. If you watch and wish things were different, the film won't make much sense. If you watch it like you would a foundation being built, you might appreciate it. We need to shut up sometimes or die. 23-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Horror, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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23-Oct-2021


Deadly Friend (1986) Woof

Boy genius, pal robot and single mom move to a new town. Boy makes friends, robot becomes creepy but boy finds "where his heart ought to be." Bullies, pranks, killings and deaths erase his best friend and "where his heart ought to be." He puts the robot chip into girl brain and revives her, except "where his heart ought to be" is hollow. She is overprotective, wifed and destructive. There is no balance as to which mentality is winning. She's a killer robot. The movie's charms outweighed its incomprehension. Anne Ramsey rained Halloween as a tormented neighbor who hated everybody. Matthew Laborteaux kept things hairy. Kristy Swanson kept things calm. Wes Craven signed it. The basketball was everything. It's stupid trash with enough bits of imagination to create enjoyment. 20-Oct-2021

Tags: 1980s, Action Fun, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-Oct-2021


Spell (2020) Whimper

Hot daddy pilot travels with wife and burdens to a hometown family funeral. People in town are "weird as fuck" for no apparent reason. Hot daddy crashes and lands at Loretta Devine's feet. Loretta is a preacher woman with Godspeak, henchmen and devil worship. Ms. Devine wins stripes for establishing a colorful character out of thin air. Omari Hardwick's gifts remained fully wrapped and there were no white people to scare us. 23-Sep-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Mystery, Scare Obvious, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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23-Sep-2021




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