Movies Posts Tagged as 'Comic Book'
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Zhao contributes "beauty of art" and serenity to the MCU. The actors are sound comic book cutouts defying gravity with little purpose. A Galactus of significance would have created the conflict that Gods favor and audiences delight in. There was a sameness to the threat, a sadness to the truth and no color for the future. 13-Jan-2022
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)
Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022
No one should be interested in a man that has left their love waiting at the altar three times. It labels the neglected, a doormat. Robin Williams is the Professor that discovers Flubber. Flubber is a squishy jello substance that appears animal except when it's being materialized as a money making substance. No one dies when hit by a fastball, brains don't get smashed when hit by bowling balls. The film thinks it's funny to apply the same stitches to both. Death is the realistic word. Weebo is a sexy pitched robot that sparks jealousy. Robots and emotions are confusing. We are not of the experienced mind to buy it. Robin is the sad guy who gets left, not the ass clown with regrets. Williams' sweetness permeates, creativity enervates but the story has no gas. 20-Dec-2021
Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021)
It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021
Suicide Squad (2020)
Margot Robbie can't queef a joyous Harley, Joel Kinnaman misplaced his acting capabilities and Nathan Fillion can't squish anymore. Pete Davidson came and went, Viola gave it more than it deserved and the whole was obliterated by Cena and his tighty whites. The film has guts. it needs them to deal with an army of superhero ninnies. 02-Nov-2021
Black Widow (2021)
Frivolous conversations, uninventive action, uninspiring support and bad Russian speak make for a non-movie event. 14-Oct-2021
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones (2002)
Ewan Mcgregor found the force. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give two shits. Christopher Lee honored his count. Natalie Portman settled in. Hayden Christensen was anemic and woozy and almost vomited all over the film except that the magic of George Lucas was dominant and triumphant. TG. Can we CG him out? More universe is explored, Jango Fett and Yoda kicked ass and the adventure was accomplished. I loved playing this game. 05-Feb-2021
New Mutants, The (2020)
Caged mutants. It stifles their capabilities and our enjoyment. I want to see them conquer the world that is familiar to us. It takes cues from the Freddy Krueger series, ho humming along and invading the lab rats' nightmares. Big Bad is stale and the action needed some throwback. Misplaced hair is my pet peeve. There's loads of it. The lesbians elicited some heart, Sunspot singed some hard-ons and the rest needed something to believe. So did we. 03-Feb-2021
Space Station 76 (2014)
I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.
Highlights of the future:
We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves
The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection
The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style
The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse
There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.
A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020
Sonic The Hedgehog (2020)
James Marsden had chemistry with no one. Tika Sumpter couldn't find it. There was no youth in Sonic's voice. Jim Carrey walked a tightrope of Riddler madness and The Truman Show control. I wished he had lost control but I also dreaded it. It's personal because I spent years buying new consoles just so I could play that little blue fucker. (They were awesome.) More ringtones and musical nods from the games would have stirred gleeful memories but the film provides what the games couldn't... an easy time. 07-Oct-2020
Beyond White Space (2018)
The inclination to watch was always interrupted by its gaming inspired poster. It looked like something you would play not watch. Obviously, it's description and my boredom tuned us in.
After decimating earth the next boost for humanity is to fuck up space. Away we go with pirates, thieves, anarchists, loveless, lawless and hopeless. Fun fact: I did not know space had crabs and no gays. The monsters are CGI identified on a two sided coin. The dialogue is full of those chemicals we don't want on our meat, the actors eating corn would have had the same effect and the director/editor stumbled by premeditating everything about to occur. The action sequences are as inspired as a preview before a game that never starts. 28-Aug-2020
John Wick 3 (2019)
Even after siphoning pleasure from the first two I was hesitant to invest in a third. I expected more ugly pup murder vengeance but it was one of the best video games I ever played. Angelica Huston was unrecognizable but still biting. Halle Berry finally delivered dog munching kickass. The horses, the cycles, the players, the stunts, the work. It was exhilarating. It's creation negates all improbability. Daddy cool K represents our aggressions and their release. Flush. 17-Aug-2020
Power Rangers (2017)
Adding angst and brood to the kid franchise is choking. The teens have troublesome history and are enrapt in familial and environmental chains. Gaining the power of a god will rehabilitate them. Lead boy steals Zac Efron's eyes, Bryan Cranston is imprisoned on a wall when daddy's veracity is letting loose and the most interesting thing Rita (the villain) did was eat a donut. Destruction is a friend but sap is not. 31-Jul-2020
Old Guard, The (2020)
PC vampires arrive in woke world. They no longer bite but still have the ability to suck.
Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.
The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.
The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.
The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.
The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020