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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Comic Book'

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Madame Web (2024) Arf

The only Madame Web I know is from the Spider-Man animated series. She was an elder with psychic gifts who spiritually assisted Peter Parker. The comic book origins were tinkered with, pulled and redesigned into a television movie. There are about 2 minutes of Spider-women geared up and it's not enough. The ladies were solid but the story was squishy. New Spider-man is the only suited one which renders fights unfair since the girls have no powers. If they were trying for subtlety they should have hired an out of the box writer and director. The ladies sprinkled enough fairy dust for me to follow them but their destinies lead to shit. 14-May-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, TV-like, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-May-2024


Marvels, The (2023) Bites

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Fantasy, Girlie Movie, Lesbian, Over the Top, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Stink Wigs, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Writer Humiliation

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07-Feb-2024


Spider-Man: Across The Spider-Verse (2023) Woof

I've never met a Puerto Rican that talks like Miles. Even though he's half the race he would never retain his father's accent because no Puerto Rican mother would allow it. He lives like a Puerto Rican. By the way, we are more than platanos and empanadas. We also love pork, rice, fried everything, chicken, fish, beef, chinese food, lasagne, pizza, anything and beans. If the father is black and the mother is Puerto Rican where did the Morales name come from? Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin and Izzy from Love is Blind S5 are great examples of Puerto Rican speak. At least when white people did it they tried to sound like us. Peter Parker sounded like a dork flake. The first half abused a soundtrack that distorted musicology. It played like a 45 on repeat. Keeping up with the psychological speed was phenomenal, the art was crisp and when the musical score interrupted the playlist, it didn't suck. If your child itches, this is a classic, the others might become anxious. 02-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Animation, Cliche, Comic Book, Crapfun, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Open Ending, Over the Top, Romance, SciFi, Sentimental, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Nov-2023


Snyder's Justice League (2021) Woof

A masterpiece in shambles, in need of a master foe. 17-Sep-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Big, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Cultish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Fantasy, Fun, Quiet, Sentimental, Star Watt, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Sep-2023


Fantastic Four (2005) Arf

If you left kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, expecting the movie to pop them, it does not. The origin story is deprived of force because of its oversimplification. Only three members achieved not looking foolish in their embodiments. Chris Evans steals everything with his bad boy swag, partial nudity and up to your imagination charm. Michael Chiklis was turned to brick, his eyes the main conveyor and I felt him. Kerry Washington was brave to enact being blind and fucking a brick dick. Ion Gruffud was chosen from a dork photo line-up. Jessica Alba decided to go bronze skin with blonde hair which is irrelevant to who she's portraying. I always envisioned Sue Storm as a mature-minded leader. Every breath Alba shared, purred, "I'm sexy, are you going to marry me or what?" According to the film, Sue Storm has no reason to powerfully exist except to stop traffic, plea for love, get undressed and be invisible. She's no Barbara Bain. Julian Macmahon's Dr. Doom made my popcorn explode with a whimper. He acted like he was in a live comic book written by those Power Rangers people. He cheapened the film. The film is more excited about what effects can do than establishing a purpose for a character's existence. Action is in a rush to move on and be forgotten. Its enjoyable but "let's put it in the kids' dvd section, for now. 16-Jun-2023

Tags: 2000s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Cheeky Acting, Cliche, Comic Book, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Jun-2023


Wakanda Forever (2022) Woof

Everything that ran throughout was an emotion that resonated because it was true. They were burying a comrade in arms that lost the fight. It is fitting that in this world women can obtain the kind of strength man takes for granted. I tossed and I turned trying to hate it but they fixed everything I disliked about the original. Jesus did not save them and science gave them hope. Lady Bassett may have entangled her accent but her emotions were true. She's a special effect. The director keeps the story close and sentiment running high. Namor's boobies reminded me of the paintings in classic haunted houses. The eyes followed you. Nice. I noticed his ears were a different color than his skin. An upgrade to technology is necessary to see colored people in the dark. A shorter edit would have made the film attainable. Who cares. I was Mikey from the cereal commercial, liking it. 02-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Good Acting, Music Swings, Relationships, Sentimental, Sequel, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Feb-2023


Black Adam (2022) Bites

Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comic Book, Depressing, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Fatigue, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Star Watt, Trashy, Wit Crack

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21-Dec-2022


Morbius (2022) Woof

It's faithful to the psychology of its origins, someone brilliantly decided the actors should play characters instead of costumed heroes and its presentation feels like a team Burton aside. I would trade two investigators for a Krave The Hunter, a Blade or Felicia Hardy/Black Cat to up the flavor and sensuality. An MCU R-rated Batman opportunity best not lost. 13-Sep-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Chemistry, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Fantasy, Fun, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Words Spoke

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13-Sep-2022


Doctor Strange In The Multiverse... (2022) Arf

Making the audience cum doesn't make it good. As soon as the last drip is swallowed, it's forgotten. "I fucked whom?" 23-Jul-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, SciFi, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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23-Jul-2022


Spider-Man No Way Home (2021) Woof

The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Magnetism, Music Swings, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-May-2022


Batman, The (2022) Arf

The Batman is the only character that suits up. How lonely for him. He's always the freak. The support enact realistic iterations of characters that lit up Batman's mythology to absolutely no effect. The Riddler is a demented teen who was brought up by an unfunny father who worked the mines. The riddles were blah. There is no Riddler without a tight body suit, a tight body and demented cynicism. Daddy Farrell wasted a lot of time in makeup, creating art out of a role that doesn't belong. He is not penguin. I didn't see any top hats, monocles or bullet umbrellas. Michelle Pfeiffer's reign as the best film Catwoman cannot be extinguished. Zoe is an everyday gorgeous girl not a cat. Her cowl is just as cheap and unintelligible as I expected. Her lack of meow hurts. Commissioner Gordon was a lackey. Everything was eeeeewww and he was always waiting for Batman to finish things up for him. Daddy Turturro knew exactly what the director wanted and gave it to us. Alfred and Bruce's interaction was rude. The parental bond was cold. Why hire an Aunt Harriet if she's not going to be an Aunt Harriet? That might have been fun. Oops. Sorry. Fun not allowed. The Twins were cute. Robert Pattinson is the glue you want to stick to because he makes you ponder how his beautifully broken humanity can create life from something he hates. I saw love in Zoe's face when she looked at him. I saw panty dropping aloofness register from his. Batman's narration doesn't mesh with toxic revenge. The moments he celebrated were my cringe. This isn't Batman. He doesn't laud himself or others. He's a lonely motherfucker that hates the world because he lost mommy and daddy to crime and got stuck in a mansion with a pervy butler. Batman's detective work failed from a lack of gadget magic. Yeah! Rich angry fucks love gadgets. Matt Reeves strikes potent pictures but was entrapped by a franchise that is petrified of its origins. The man/woman who gives us comic book Batman with realistic choices will become King of The World. What's the point of hiding in the shadows if everyone can hear you? 18-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Cliche, Comic Book, Director Movement, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Sentimental, Star Watt, Thriller, Too Long, TV-like, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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18-Apr-2022


Adam Project, The (2022) Woof

Super daddy, a chunk (of meat) and his mini spar through time travel to end time travel. Sci-fi is comic book, action is diverting, writing is pensive but the three leads hold it together. The boy mimicked an asshole just like Ryan Reynolds would. Mark Ruffalo is a war torn daddy born to parent an asshole. The wattage, the funny, the adorable and the sweet were all there. 13-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, SciFi, Sentimental, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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13-Mar-2022


Eternals (2021) Arf

Zhao contributes "beauty of art" and serenity to the MCU. The actors are sound comic book cutouts defying gravity with little purpose. A Galactus of significance would have created the conflict that Gods favor and audiences delight in. There was a sameness to the threat, a sadness to the truth and no color for the future. 13-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke

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13-Jan-2022


Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) Arf

Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Hot Swatch, Mad, Magnetism, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Jan-2022


Flubber (1997) Arf

No one should be interested in a man that has left their love waiting at the altar three times. It labels the neglected, a doormat. Robin Williams is the Professor that discovers Flubber. Flubber is a squishy jello substance that appears animal except when it's being materialized as a money making substance. No one dies when hit by a fastball, brains don't get smashed when hit by bowling balls. The film thinks it's funny to apply the same stitches to both. Death is the realistic word. Weebo is a sexy pitched robot that sparks jealousy. Robots and emotions are confusing. We are not of the experienced mind to buy it. Robin is the sad guy who gets left, not the ass clown with regrets. Williams' sweetness permeates, creativity enervates but the story has no gas. 20-Dec-2021

Tags: 1990s, Comedy, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Preposterous, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Dec-2021




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