It promises a lot that it doesn't deliver. It celebrates itself before we get a chance to absorb any of it. Beating Superman like a desperate housewife does not bring humanity to his persona and establishing himself as a victim of puny super abuse is not consistent with his mythology. Gunn did not utilize kryptonite because it limited action but embraced creating sun out of everything. It's a willing cast except for the Clarks. They were very hillbilly stupid. The big bad was existential with a personal vendetta and no superpowers to start a fight. The last half goes silly, corny and festive. Fillion's silver bowl hair distracted from his personality. It was also ugly. Mr. Terrific made most of his time by being cool whenever possible, Hawkgirl was miscast as a girl. She's a woman. A Gorilla Grodd would have introduced freshness to the tired and true. A drunk Supergirl was irresponsible and out of place. Does Clark also fuck Lois in the air? The film is just an introduction. 21-Sep-2025

The big bad was neither big or bad, it was dangerous. The film is under the illusion that if we can get to the heart of evil before it erupts that it won't. Maybe the reason we dissect villains is because evil has no explanation. Pugh drives the movie and gets us feeling things. The actors realized that they needed to be a team in order to become one and they were. I even liked the shitty Captain America. I watch comic book adaptations anticipating magic is realized as legendary characters are brought to life. Limited powers means limited accessibility. Spy action and admits ground the film in basics and hopeful logic. The funny failed most of the time because it killed characterization. A villain is not a threat if a stint in rehab can fix them. The ending was episodic TV right before cancellation. 29-Aug-2025

It had elements that would have created art and stir the heart. It's depressing. The drab appearance lacks animation color. Having no love interest, the vigilante turned hero has no one to pull him back when he goes beyond animal. Kraven's father had only one thought. Don't be weak. He says it in almost every scene with him and his brother. The brother bond doesn't coalesce beyond physical distance which made me not care. Ariana DeBose surprised me. I had no idea that she was Calypso. They missed an opportunity not making her a voodoo priestess because the religion is real and she's scary as fuck. Tagging the Chameleon instead of exposing him was also a waste. The daddies were ready to blow things up but the words in conversation lacked thought. The action sequences were enjoyably brutal, the Rhino took too long to become, Calypso could have been given more to do and villains can only become good after a hero beats them, again, again and again. 15-Mar-2025

It's more of an exercise than it is an accomplishment. I stayed tuned because the man who cracks dicks with his ass is charming as fuck. None of the support matches him. The symbiotes' history did not have enough humanity to make me care. The action sequences depended heavily on coincidence. The chemistry between Mrs. Chen and Mr. Hardy was wasted. The threat was so surreal that it became mute. I stayed to memorize Hardy's butt but he didn't turn around much. 01-Mar-2025

The only Madame Web I know is from the Spider-Man animated series. She was an elder with psychic gifts who spiritually assisted Peter Parker. The comic book origins were tinkered with, pulled and redesigned into a television movie. There are about 2 minutes of Spider-women geared up and it's not enough. The ladies were solid but the story was squishy. New Spider-man is the only suited one which renders fights unfair since the girls have no powers. If they were trying for subtlety they should have hired an out of the box writer and director. The ladies sprinkled enough fairy dust for me to follow them but their destinies lead to shit. 14-May-2024

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

I've never met a Puerto Rican that talks like Miles. Even though he's half the race he would never retain his father's accent because no Puerto Rican mother would allow it. He lives like a Puerto Rican. By the way, we are more than platanos and empanadas. We also love pork, rice, fried everything, chicken, fish, beef, chinese food, lasagne, pizza, anything and beans. If the father is black and the mother is Puerto Rican where did the Morales name come from? Bad Bunny, Ricky Martin and Izzy from Love is Blind S5 are great examples of Puerto Rican speak. At least when white people did it they tried to sound like us. Peter Parker sounded like a dork flake. The first half abused a soundtrack that distorted musicology. It played like a 45 on repeat. Keeping up with the psychological speed was phenomenal, the art was crisp and when the musical score interrupted the playlist, it didn't suck. If your child itches, this is a classic, the others might become anxious. 02-Nov-2023

A masterpiece in shambles, in need of a master foe. 17-Sep-2023

If you left kernels at the bottom of the popcorn bucket, expecting the movie to pop them, it does not. The origin story is deprived of force because of its oversimplification. Only three members achieved not looking foolish in their embodiments. Chris Evans steals everything with his bad boy swag, partial nudity and up to your imagination charm. Michael Chiklis was turned to brick, his eyes the main conveyor and I felt him. Kerry Washington was brave to enact being blind and fucking a brick dick. Ion Gruffud was chosen from a dork photo line-up. Jessica Alba decided to go bronze skin with blonde hair which is irrelevant to who she's portraying. I always envisioned Sue Storm as a mature-minded leader. Every breath Alba shared, purred, "I'm sexy, are you going to marry me or what?" According to the film, Sue Storm has no reason to powerfully exist except to stop traffic, plea for love, get undressed and be invisible. She's no Barbara Bain. Julian Macmahon's Dr. Doom made my popcorn explode with a whimper. He acted like he was in a live comic book written by those Power Rangers people. He cheapened the film. The film is more excited about what effects can do than establishing a purpose for a character's existence. Action is in a rush to move on and be forgotten. Its enjoyable but "let's put it in the kids' dvd section, for now. 16-Jun-2023

Everything that ran throughout was an emotion that resonated because it was true. They were burying a comrade in arms that lost the fight. It is fitting that in this world women can obtain the kind of strength man takes for granted. I tossed and I turned trying to hate it but they fixed everything I disliked about the original. Jesus did not save them and science gave them hope. Lady Bassett may have entangled her accent but her emotions were true. She's a special effect. The director keeps the story close and sentiment running high. Namor's boobies reminded me of the paintings in classic haunted houses. The eyes followed you. Nice. I noticed his ears were a different color than his skin. An upgrade to technology is necessary to see colored people in the dark. A shorter edit would have made the film attainable. Who cares. I was Mikey from the cereal commercial, liking it. 02-Feb-2023

Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022

It's faithful to the psychology of its origins, someone brilliantly decided the actors should play characters instead of costumed heroes and its presentation feels like a team Burton aside. I would trade two investigators for a Krave The Hunter, a Blade or Felicia Hardy/Black Cat to up the flavor and sensuality. An MCU R-rated Batman opportunity best not lost. 13-Sep-2022

Making the audience cum doesn't make it good. As soon as the last drip is swallowed, it's forgotten. "I fucked whom?" 23-Jul-2022

The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022

The Batman is the only character that suits up. How lonely for him. He's always the freak. The support enact realistic iterations of characters that lit up Batman's mythology to absolutely no effect. The Riddler is a demented teen who was brought up by an unfunny father who worked the mines. The riddles were blah. There is no Riddler without a tight body suit, a tight body and demented cynicism. Daddy Farrell wasted a lot of time in makeup, creating art out of a role that doesn't belong. He is not penguin. I didn't see any top hats, monocles or bullet umbrellas. Michelle Pfeiffer's reign as the best film Catwoman cannot be extinguished. Zoe is an everyday gorgeous girl not a cat. Her cowl is just as cheap and unintelligible as I expected. Her lack of meow hurts. Commissioner Gordon was a lackey. Everything was eeeeewww and he was always waiting for Batman to finish things up for him. Daddy Turturro knew exactly what the director wanted and gave it to us. Alfred and Bruce's interaction was rude. The parental bond was cold. Why hire an Aunt Harriet if she's not going to be an Aunt Harriet? That might have been fun. Oops. Sorry. Fun not allowed. The Twins were cute. Robert Pattinson is the glue you want to stick to because he makes you ponder how his beautifully broken humanity can create life from something he hates. I saw love in Zoe's face when she looked at him. I saw panty dropping aloofness register from his. Batman's narration doesn't mesh with toxic revenge. The moments he celebrated were my cringe. This isn't Batman. He doesn't laud himself or others. He's a lonely motherfucker that hates the world because he lost mommy and daddy to crime and got stuck in a mansion with a pervy butler. Batman's detective work failed from a lack of gadget magic. Yeah! Rich angry fucks love gadgets. Matt Reeves strikes potent pictures but was entrapped by a franchise that is petrified of its origins. The man/woman who gives us comic book Batman with realistic choices will become King of The World. What's the point of hiding in the shadows if everyone can hear you? 18-Apr-2022