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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Sad Effects'

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Justice League (2017) Bites

It will continue to embarrass for as long as production is allowed to churn arid cornpop. They can't orchestrate a thrilling action sequence, the costumes don't befit a hero and it certainly doesn't flatter the artists (everyone clunks around) and the villain seems extracted from an outdated RPG. Cavill wakes up to serve us what's left of the Superman character and Amy Adams and Diane Lane are the only Amazons. Most of the artists left their joy elsewhere.

It needs to look at its animation for inspiration. 14-May-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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14-May-2018


Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) Whimper

Party City Live. 23-Apr-2018

Tags: 1990s, Action, Animate, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Loud, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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23-Apr-2018


Colossal (2016) Whimper

We've bullied and judged Anne Hathaway so harshly that she is no longer capable of supplying a character with natural ticks. Even when her character begs to be petulant, her need to be liked overwhelms. The only way she can surprise us is by inhabiting the soul "the haters" hashtagged her with and let it all go. The support also reciprocates badly.

This soup is a melange of original ideas executed by a crew that didn't understand them and a writer who sabotaged it.

This is a movie for a future audience to find. 03-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, SciFi, Tacky, Twisty, Weird

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03-Dec-2017


Wonder Woman (2017) Whimper

I was ready to celebrate everything the Wonder Woman mythology entrenches but I can only laud the idea because the interpretation curtails the triumph.

Themyscira flounders the hardest because accomplished actresses are burdened with harsh and awkward accents to help explain the heroine's dialect. They may be mentally strong women but they can't persuade us they have physical strength. If they really wanted to represent Amazon girl power, challenge actresses who have inhabited physical dynamism and give the fans a rise. Lucy Lawless, Sarah Michelle Geller, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, etc. are waiting in line to be acknowledged and honored.

Gal Gadot was declared Wonder Woman but we don't get to witness her growth or empowerment.

Pine's Steve Trevor undermines Diana by trumpeting himself as an extraordinary alpha that is solely qualified to subdue such a forceful heroine. The writers should have noted that she gives the man the strength as soon as she prefers him. With this role Pine finally fulfills the culmination that is William Shatner.

The weenie foe does nothing to elevate Diana's heroism.

The music manipulates our emotions, the stunts are self-aware, the FX are ponderous and the direction fails to catapult.

I want a Wonder Woman that's not ashamed of her power, that wears the colors of our flag boldly and who shouts for women but fights for everyone.

 08-Oct-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, Ugly Art

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08-Oct-2017


Big Cube, The (1969) Bites

60s Hollywood had the capacity to disrespect legends by coasting on their names, making them kneel for a crap script and humiliating them to the point that we can't remember why we deified them.

Chakiris was definitely vibing to his master manipulator but I don't want to remember Lana like this. 01-Oct-2017

Tags: 1960s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Corn, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preachy, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Romance, Sad Effects, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Weird

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01-Oct-2017


Star Wars: Rogue One (2016) Whimper

I was ready to geek out at this stand-alone side quest but besides Vader and space action sequences at end, there isn't much to delight. The music foretells how we should feel before the action unfolds. The director and editor do not serve the stuntwork which is shown in its raw state where we see them react and fall before a hit. The actors appear glum and forfeited. No hero steps up and no cheers result. The CGI that arises the dead creeps instead of inspires and the independent budget doesn't accelerate its art, it trashes it. 18-Jul-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Loud, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Repetitive, Revenge, Sad Effects, Sap, Silly, Tedium

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18-Jul-2017


Wicked Within, The (2015) Bites

It's incredulous that they splatter the screen with every horror cliche at their disposal but not get a rise on my skin hair or a jump on my nerves. 13-Jun-2017

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Director's Slice, Disappointment, False Action, Horror, Manipulation, Repetitive, Revenge, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tedium, Weird

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13-Jun-2017


Arthur & Merlin (2015) No MoonsEarly Exit

It's like watching humanatronics wearing dilapidated rags posing amidst a jumbo postcard. Where's the magic in that? 13-Apr-2017

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Corn, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Manipulation, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, TV-like, Weird

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13-Apr-2017


Warlock 2: The Armageddon (1993) Whimper

There are sheeny new effects to experiment with and they utilize them. Unfortunately, the notion fades along with the tech. The movie is still dumb and realized by a mannequin whose mane speaks in volumes of kool but whose emotional range is snatched. 21-Mar-2017

Tags: 1990s, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Camp, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Suspense, Tacky, Weird

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21-Mar-2017


Towering Inferno, The (1974) Arf

The movie has its place in history and I remembered it as it was perceived for its time. Unfortunately, technology does not allow for the tweaking of effects that would provide the present with resonance. Had it not relied so heavily on its tricks it might have thrilled but all I can see is the hard work, I can no longer feel it. Its only power is gazing at an abundance of stars some of which fare, others which just beg. Faye Dunaway who spends a lot of time licking on Paul Newman, predates Mommie Dearest but still acts like Joan Crawford which makes you question if her Joan was a revelation or was she always swiping from her? Of the two Alpha blondes, Steve and Paul, MacQueen proves that only his gets fondly yanked. 12-Mar-2017

Tags: 1970s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, False Action, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Mat, Over the Top, Sad Effects, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit

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12-Mar-2017


Cocoon: The Return (1988) Whimper

They still can't get it right. Just because they are largely casing lives of elders doesn't mean the pacing has to be so slow. The only hearty moments come from the pros constant outreach. The production constantly lets them down and the aliens are still undisturbingly dizzy. 02-Feb-2017

Tags: 1980s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Corn, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Mat, Oncer, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, SciFi, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, TV-like

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02-Feb-2017


Trolls 2 (1992) Bites

Has nothing to do with the first one and they're not even trolls but goblins. The goblins are not CGI'd and poorly rendered by stuffed little people with party masks. There are two moments that would have unearthed some cult fanaticism if they had explored more of it: when the boy pisses on the family dinner because he doesn't want them to be poisoned and when the couple share a husk of corn that turns into popcorn because the sex is heated. Stupid brilliance. 15-Jan-2017

Tags: 1990s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, TV-like, Ugly Art, Weird

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15-Jan-2017


Ghostbusters (2016) Whimper

An all-girl Ghostbusters was welcome but Feig does not equip them with a technique or a crew that would elevate them or excite us in bringing them into this decade. The effects stand poorer than the fade in the original, Wiig is the only one trying to embody the character while MacKinnon resolved that a Bieber snip would help characterize and Melissa is doing schtick. Chris Hemsworth adds some candied fun but is relegated to being irritatingly stupid. His one chance to redeem is pushed silently onto the credits because the only musical sketch they should have kept they deemed too much. Bad call. All we needed was a good Ghostbusters story with kool effects and women starring. Instead we get girls acting like boys because we cannot accept femininity as a strength. Bring back the girls! 09-Jan-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Comedy, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Remake, Repetitive, Sad, Sad Effects, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Ugly Art

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09-Jan-2017


Cocoon (1985) Whimper

The idea is worthy of exploration but Howard has no interest in inflicting it with personality. His direction is slow and clammed up like the cocoons laying at the bottom of the pool. It's up to the old timers to ratchet the drama and corral the sentiment. The aliens are stifled, Tinker Bell inspired and pending. Howard does nothing to propel any of the interesting themes or actions presented beyond being an enabling father who thinks children can parent themselves. Its a disservice to everyone and it kills the opportunity for classicdom. 03-Jan-2017

Tags: 1980s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Comedy, Corn, Cute, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Mat, Sad Effects, Sap, SciFi, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium

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03-Jan-2017


Solar Babies (1986) Bites

Graffiti inspired art, futuristic rollerskating teens and end of the world nazism junk. 22-Dec-2016

Tags: 1980s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Comic Book, Corn, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Oncer, Preachy, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, SciFi, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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22-Dec-2016




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