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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Conspiracy Theory'

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Clovehitch Killer, The (2018) Arf

It's based on a historical serial killer but it's not. Boy's disinterest in crime history is tested when he stumbles upon evidence that may incriminate a loved one. A teen investigation ensues. Obvious clues don't allow the mystery to spring forward. The family does not generate enough emotion to evoke compassion. There is no new imagination. Are we supposed to act like we don't know who the killer is? It's only directed that way? Charlie Plummer pulled away at the proximity of Dylan McDermott.That would have been useful for some guttural acting but no one thought of it. Dylan mocks his character and has no idea how to preach about God. We're cheering for a family that sucks and a film that associates cross dressing with psychos. 19-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Conspiracy Theory, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Mystery, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Writ w/Possibilities

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19-Jun-2021


Seventh Sign, The (1988) Whimper

God was so angry with us in the 80s that he sent seven signs to warn us he was on a path of annihilation and made Demi Moore and her baby carry the burden. If she can fulfill enough of God's contracts she can accomplish the "save the world" prophecies in the bible. Moore's luminescence and chemistry is wasted on shitty creators. A man can protect the world but only a woman can save it. 04-May-2021

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mad, Mystery, SciFi, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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04-May-2021


Tenet (2020) Arf

Aaron Taylor-Johnson knew how to lead, Chadwick Boseman had no presence, Robert Pattinson had no rhythm and Christopher Nolan discovered the reverse button. The film was correct about one thing. If you fall asleep halfway through, you heal faster. 03-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Director Experiment, Disappointment, Drama, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague

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03-May-2021


Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995) Woof

I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Macho Posing, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Revenge, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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26-Apr-2021


Possessed (1947) Arf

Can a failed secret affair cause a woman temporary insanity? Sure. The film piles plenty of symptoms and Joan Crawford obsesses about inhabiting all of them. She's haunted, Scream Queen, scared, frightful, conniving, confused, grating, bitchy, mother farcical and "don't fuck with me" Joan. She splits every arc into a different character. It was brilliantly insane but it didn't work. The man that made her brain ache played the piano, was a wordmeister, could fuck and always looked tired. He dumps her on the eve of her first hallucination whilst continuing to remain in each other's lives. He's just as crazy as she is except he's not getting diagnosed because he is not a "woman." After being told countless of times that he would never love her, she marries an old rich bastard to get his goat, he "up yours" her by proposing to her stepdaughter and Ms. Joan has a ball going nuts. Unbelievable psychology and too much genre (drama, horror, mystery, crime, comedy, romance, musical, etc.) deflate it.

(People that are crazy don't know they're crazy.) 14-Apr-2021

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Director Insanity, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay Swatch, Grating, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-Apr-2021


Block Island Sound, The (2020) Bites

Wildlife is dying rapidly, daddy is acting strange, daughter has returned to investigate and brother is losing it. A conspiracy theorist is onboard to tell us what creativity can't show us and another sister joins to hate, mostly her brother. The ending is "WhyTF did I waste my time watching this shit?" 25-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Conspiracy Theory, Depressing, Director Slouch, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Vague, Words Spoke

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25-Mar-2021


Trial Of The Chicago 7, The (2020) Arf

Courtroom dramas are much like potted plants. Dig, roll, splash and seed until it sprouts but the main focus is always the plant. The plant in this case is politics. I felt encapsulated by the premise, its ego and a lack of sympathetic elaboration. Cohen worked tirelessly on Hoffman the comic but not the man. Daddy Strong turned off his eye bright. It would have captured Rubin's forever boy glint. He may have been high all the time but in interviews he was lit. There were times Redmayne lost his breath trying to take reign of his American accent which made me fear it. Mark Rylance set it up masterfully and Frank Langella commandeered it beautifully. The script was sharp but it was mostly business and no play. Politics wait for no one. A lot more fun would have been nice. 16-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Political, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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16-Mar-2021


Self/Less (2015) Whimper

Dying rich old fart with regrets decides to enroll in a new experiment where they transfer your brain onto Ryan Reynolds body. The director doesn't allow the old man to play with himself as soon as he's alone as Reynolds. Bummer. It's a grim and bumpy ride. I thought the ending was sweet but I wish I hadn't seen it coming halfway in. Not worth the bullets or the destruction. 09-Mar-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, By the Numbers, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Over the Top, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Thriller, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writ w/Possibilities

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09-Mar-2021


Finding Ohana (2021)  Arf

I never tire of looking at Hawaiian vistas and cultural beauty. Magic is a belief that you follow if you seek adventure over truth. The story may be chewing gum but the kids are hilarious. The caper, that song, the energy and those people, keep you watching. 03-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Suspense, Sweet, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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03-Feb-2021


Death Of Me (2020) Arf

A depiction of travel peril and the miscalculation of island culture and folklore. Liam is a ketchup bottle that Maggie Q knows how to squeeze. Their bond keeps the film alive until the mumbo jumbo takes over. 25-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Over the Top, Scary, Silly, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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25-Jan-2021


Fantasy Island (2020) Bites

Michael Pena is not a suave sexy latin charmer. I thought he was going to play Tattoo, running around in a baby cart yelling "the plane, the plane." Maggie Q exuded the elegance of a legend but had no chemistry with her token black family. Lucy Hale, sporting a disconcerting schnauzer cut, was too much. It was a total disrespect of a shitty show that entertained. 12-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Manipulation, Predictable, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky

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12-Jan-2021


Hand Of Death (1962) Bites

A scientist thinks he's developed a nerve gas that immobilizes instead of kill. With the support of his love establishment and business connections, he is granted money and freedom to keep his experimentation thriving. But weary scientists have accidents. The gas fumes turn him into an Unfantastical Thing. The coincidences are comical, the scares don't stir a tree but Paula Raymond is a fantabulous scream. 01-Jan-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Fantasy, Funny, Horror, Preposterous, SciFi, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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01-Jan-2021


We Can Be Heroes (2020) Bites

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Baby Wrecks, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Grating, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Dec-2020


Christmas Chronicles, The (2018) Woof

Christmas is the last time of the year when kids can be selfish. Kurt Russell makes it comfortable to sit on his lap and play with his hair. Help him blow things up and play with his hair. Accidentally (wink, wink) give him a hard-on and play with his hair. Smash on the hard-on and play with his hair. The kids are at an adorable stage, the violence is happy and Christmas got a shot in the arm. 05-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fresh, Funny, Good Acting, Hoofer's Delight, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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05-Dec-2020


Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Arf

Parents send their tech dependent children to nature camp to enforce the value of social interaction and gain survival skills. The bootcamp is a military wasteland. It splits them into teams and focuses on hikes, challenges and camaraderie to allow them to use the tech in their brains. You can also make friends. Good ensemble pulls you in as the movie keeps taking them out. It starts to hurt a little. The threat is a mess. We like our deformed bubblies with masks on and butch gear. It's yuck and impossible to look at. The pimply hillbilly troll backstory didn't help. It was preposterous. I withstood the gore and porn violence because of the cast, the kids, the representation, the dialogue, the awkwardness, the scared lesbian, the sexual limitations of tech sex, following natural reaction protocol and because they are us. The beast is in desperate need of a glam attack. It needs Jason's virility, Michael Myers' stamina and Freddy's humor and waist. They prepare us for death by tingling other parts of our body first. The monster was ick. 02-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Gore, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Dec-2020




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