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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Loud'

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Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975) Whimper

It's a constant pile-up you can't stop watching. 25-Sep-2018

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Funny, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Music Murders, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Porn, Preposterous, Rapey, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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25-Sep-2018


Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017) Whimper

The three main try their utmost to realize but the production can't best the original's mediocre entanglements. Sigh. Not even a titdance from Dwayne. 04-Sep-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Loud, Macho Posing, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Unenthusiastic

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04-Sep-2018


2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) Arf

Candied environment, matching toy cars and boy tramp stampede. It doesn't get more boyly than this. 30-Aug-2018

Tags: 2000s, Action, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Corn, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Hot Swatch, Loud, Over the Top, Preposterous, Pretty, Revenge, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Suspense

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30-Aug-2018


Escape From L.A. (1996) Whimper

Russell's suit is glove-fit but the macho bluster keeps it stupid. 17-Jul-2018

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Stomper, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, False Action, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Loud, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky

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17-Jul-2018


Hardbodies 2 (1986) Bites

It forgets what a hardbody is and the penance for the exploitation of beauty is extreme nonsense. 11-May-2018

Tags: 1980s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Camp, Comedy, Disappointment, Gay Swatch, Loud, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Romance, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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14-May-2018


Justice League (2017) Bites

It will continue to embarrass for as long as production is allowed to churn arid cornpop. They can't orchestrate a thrilling action sequence, the costumes don't befit a hero and it certainly doesn't flatter the artists (everyone clunks around) and the villain seems extracted from an outdated RPG. Cavill wakes up to serve us what's left of the Superman character and Amy Adams and Diane Lane are the only Amazons. Most of the artists left their joy elsewhere.

It needs to look at its animation for inspiration. 14-May-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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14-May-2018


No Escape (2015) Arf

The lengths a man will go to provide for his family. The actors are emotionally fit, the action roars and the suspense is panic-induced but the saves are miraculous. You can't generate a strike without balls. 01-May-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action Stomper, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Political Satire, Predictable, Preposterous, Revenge, Star Watt, Suspense

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01-May-2018


Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) Whimper

Party City Live. 23-Apr-2018

Tags: 1990s, Action, Animate, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Loud, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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23-Apr-2018


Office Christmas Party (2016) Whimper

There are moments where saccharin and fraternity are cast aside to serve impish amusement, like Aniston snapping to a bratter to go fuck herself, but it's mostly underwritten sitcom blather incapable of boosting their TV Q. 23-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Holiday, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, TV-like

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23-Dec-2017


Battlefield Earth (2000) BitesEarly Exit

As soon as Travolta opens his mouth to spit fey Shakespearean New York, the attention-span for the story disappears. While you wait for Travolta to stop putting us on you start noticing that the character's rubber hands bend and lay inappropriately, the Eiffel Tower boots adds clunk and slump to their walk and that their pouches swell at attention. I left before any of it made it to my bloodstream. 21-Dec-2017

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Preposterous, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Weird

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21-Dec-2017


Magnificent Seven, The (2016) Whimper

There is no magnificence.

The actors playact while embodying minute swagger.

The writers fudge a story whose heft relied on outlaws braving to protect a Mexican village that couldn't help themselves from marauders. The victims are mostly white christians which wafts of self-service. Though the cast is inclusive we are not privy to anything more from them than a diversity stamp.

The director lends no distinction or heroism to the action, has no sense of panoramic beauty and no credibility in the western genre. If you let the music tell half the story, your task remains incomplete. 20-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, False Action, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Music Murders, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Ugly Art, Western

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20-Dec-2017


Splash (1984) Arf

The fondness evaporates like the wave it rolled in. The males are directed to reach a pitch that only dogs can hear while sexism and adolescence occupy the vigor in their stance.

The beauty and a drip of magic are found underwater esp. when Darryl Hannah sadly conveys the predicaments of being special and the awkwardness in trying to be a woman.

Allen Bauer's (Tom Hanks) betrayal at discovery of Madison's (Darry Hannah) etherealness is absurd and painful. Why would a man condemn a love interest he's been fantasizing about since childhood? 20-Nov-2017

Tags: 1980s, Camp, Chemistry, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Touching, TV-like, Weird

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20-Nov-2017


Finding Dory (2016) Arf

Pretty, precious and preposterous. 13-Nov-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Animate, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Loud, Manipulation, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Pretty, Repetitive, Sequel, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Weird

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13-Nov-2017


How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Bites

When transcribing a cartoon to live it needs to be cautious not to bolster caricature as it may spark an aneurysm. 09-Nov-2017

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Unfunny, Weird

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09-Nov-2017


Journey to the West: The Demons Strike Back (2017) Arf

The silliness high count makes the film hard to snort. The characters suffer from inappropriate and volatile lunacy. The main gay character is a pig and the women are too easily bartered and no one surpasses Three Stooges definition.

The eye is fed as the screen is barraged with bursts of color, fanciful effects and uninhibited stamina. I fantasized how much beauty Hollywood omits in the cinematic world fantastic by somber representation. 18-Oct-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Animate, Beautiful, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Kool Effects, Loud, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Preposterous, Revenge, Romance, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Weird

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18-Oct-2017




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