Movies Posts Tagged as 'False Action'
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Five Nights At Freddys (2023)
It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024
Halloween Ends (2022)
I hope so. Besides the original two, no one has added anything fresh, stimulating or artistic. Michael is psychic now. He can tell when someone's been bad to children, like Santa Claus. They gave Laurie white guilt because she is responsible for unleashing all the serial killers in our community. It felt equivalent to hanging Carroll O'Connor for his amazing portrayal of a bigot. Laurie's feminism got softened. She sets up her granddaughter, that almost got killed by the most famous serial killer ever, with a date that served time for maybe killing a child. Yeah, the kid died. Worst parent ever. Why couldn't they meet on their own without Laurie's instincts being seniled? Absolutely not, you are never leaving this house until that psycho is off the streets! That would have been enough fury to unleash a psycho. Corey's idea of a possible serial killer is smiling like he's auditioning for The Dark Knight: The Joker Reborn. An animated feature. I wished the psychos in my life were that funny. Giving Corey a storyline was a stall tactic because they didn't know how to end it. It's been so long that they forgot the purpose. It mistook the original as schlock entertainment and served it as such. What stood out in the original was the images, hand magic, ideas and symbolism. Awesome music is ingrained, a mask and a scream queen born of Janet Leigh never hurt. Everyone deserved better. 02-Feb-2023
Screaming Skull, The (1958)
Rich woman with psychological problems marries a dried up coochie player in the hopes of finding normalcy and family. Daddy coochie gaslights because he thinks she is incapable of the truth and doesn't want to cause her more anxiety. Her parents drowned because she couldn't save them. Her latest coochie grabber's ex-wife may be haunting her new home. Daddy leaves her home alone a lot. I saw a crappy colorized version that hinted how nice it would have been in color if you separated it by seconds. Marriage is entrapment and not a contract. The only way to prove to yourself that you are not psychologically impaired is to marry. Your partner will legally let you know what's wrong with you. 23-Jan-2023
Woman King, The (2022)
Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023
Invitation, The (2022)
A visually appealing cast is wasted on a production team that doesn't know how to stimulate people. It says women are dysfunctional without family. It's forever emptiness like a missing appendage or lost luggage. Half black girls all want to be white. The best man game in town is offering women free stuff. The #1 reason women get into trouble is because they accept free stuff. I spent the first hour wondering if a starving artist would actually wear a nose ring to meet royal snoots. At the end, it didn't matter but it had me tuning in and out, wracking my brain until it got really stoopid and I stayed tuned 100%. 26-Dec-2022
Nope (2022)
The characters are as blanched as photographing black people in the dark. They react but convey no thoughts or feelings. Kaluuya is an all day crank that has no good reason for living and Palmer is an annoyance that is not fully explained. Jordan Peele must have learned his craft on the street because it's nonsense. The big bad is a giant vagina that sucks everything up except condoms and bleeds profusely atop of people's houses like they were absorption pads. 18-Dec-2022
Wasteland, The (2021)
I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't grant us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022
Being The Ricardos (2021)
I exited before any more of my brain cells died. Not all geniuses are meant to portray geniuses. Nicole doesn't squeak enough or husk enough. She couldn't pick an accent from Lucy's bountiful history to make us believe she was Lucille Ball. Nicole is an Australian model failing as a moll bride. Lucy cracked and she bellowed. Ridiculousness was her class and experience was her wisdom. Nicole understood neither. Javier may be a fuckable specimen on his own accord but Desi wasn't that heavily accented or pitiable. Daddy needed some voodoo guidance. Aaron Sorkin placed the blame on Lucy. Fuck you! 22-Dec-2021
Bruised (2021)
The film describes a violent female as a failed mother/wife/child whose rage needs to be re-directed towards a profit. A killer that knows when to stop is a champion. They don't fight to save the world but themselves. Halle's fighter is homeless, negative and miserable. She keeps her feelings Eastwood. The boy's tongue was cut because he was either a lousy actor or the audience doesn't need to hear a black boy speak. Hispanics inherit black male stereotypes. Lesbian and mama were ready to sparkle but were given little illumination. It piles cliches without original thinking. I kept hoping she was a secretary with a hot lesbian boss. At least she would have been cute. 28-Nov-2021
Woman In The Window (2021)
A cheap thriller receiving attention because an acting powerhouse is in it. Production invited stellar actors to deliver supporting one notes. Why bother? The writers and director are faulted for having no perceptive style and for thinking that hiding and boo is the only adult scare tactic. I would have fired them, handed the camera to Amy and told the actors to wing it. 21-May-2021
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021)
Teen lesbian leaving for school, has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021
Block Island Sound, The (2020)
Wildlife is dying rapidly, daddy is acting strange, daughter has returned to investigate and brother is losing it. A conspiracy theorist is onboard to tell us what creativity can't show us and another sister joins to hate, mostly her brother. The ending is "WhyTF did I waste my time watching this shit?" 25-Mar-2021
Fantasy Island (2020)
Michael Pena is not a suave sexy latin charmer. I thought he was going to play Tattoo, running around in a baby cart yelling "the plane, the plane." Maggie Q exuded the elegance of a legend but had no chemistry with her token black family. Lucy Hale, sporting a disconcerting schnauzer cut, was too much. It was a total disrespect of a shitty show that entertained. 12-Jan-2021
Wolves At The Door (2016)
The desecration of humanity is unforgiving. In order to conceptualize fact based savagery onto film you have to be a little nuts. The film goes where Tarantino's wouldn't and exploits it. It doesn't feel like the 60s, the ladies never heard of the 60s, the boys are drunks, stoners and stoopids and the killers remained shadowed like Halloween supervillains. Giving an evil character personality does not grant them humanity. It gives us a clue who to run away from. Make it up and make it real. I was a fan of Sharon Tate and I felt her tragedy. When I read "that" book, I experienced haunts and nightmares, forever. How could people be so inhumane? If the writer brings up the question, he and the director need to answer it. If you're going to make it, let your balls hang real low so the audience can cut them. The crew has regular mental health issues but no psychosis or artistry. It's Lifetime violence with '40s flair. The opener sizzled only because nobody makes Miss Jane look stoopid. 19-Sep-2020