Movies Posts Tagged as 'Weird'
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Mapplethorpe, The Director's Cut - (2021)
A history making photographer tries to cancel the soullessness in art. Gay men in denial, destroying lives in their quest to appear wholesome and delicious, for the ultimate dick. The first thing we learn is how to suck, the second, to fuck, third, pray for more and lastly, die a disease riddled and drug infested death. The dots are perfect for great gay sexual simulation but the direction is uncomfortable with it. Mapplethorpe sought perfection in a world that punished him for it. The movie punishes us. 18-Jul-2021
False Positive (2021)
Infertile wife visits an edgy clinic that promises results. Pierce Brosnan is the mad doctor whose business is to entertain women's fantasies. He's handsome, sketchy, with warm hands and a little bland. A snapchat into his perversion only made him normal. Justin Theroux was the pretty butterfly in the room. Ilana Glazer was miscast. She is not the type of woman to conform to a sexy suburban lifestyle, least of all, have friends, especially with that hair. Ms. Glazer seems like a representative of more important things. It's a scientific Rosemary's Baby without the devil or the scare. 27-Jun-2021
Napoleon Dynamite (2004)
So stupid, it's funny. 22-Jun-2021
Goodnight, Mommy (2014)
Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021
Careless Years, The (1957)
What are the lengths an untouched teen queen and a rebel rouser go to have sex without guilt? Get married? The parents are as excited of their proposal as invited homophobic family members are to go to a gay wedding. The movie/man obsesses whether they should have sex anyway since they're going to be together forever. The angst of a girl clinging to a specialty that means nothing to the man she's giving it to, is ridiculous. Just have it, already! Sex is just another addiction in life, like pooping. It was interesting to watch a baby Dean Stockwell preen like James Dean and Barbara Billingsley do the mama thing she does so well but the movie is about nothing. 13-Jun-2021
It was on my list for a lifetime but I never got to it. Daddy Doctor Rio is separated from his wife and kids because he doesn't want to die a passionless fuck. A fragile beauty with manic episodes invades his life and his choices. She is victimized by her husband, Richard Chamberlain, who was annoyingly pretty and agonizingly gay. Julie Christie was that thing you only find once. Her beauty was her art. George C. Scott roared obsession and determination. Shirley Knight whipped her hair back and forth and got slammed with cookies that she baked for George C. Scott by George C. Scott. The music pushes it, the elegance enchants it and the crew elaborates on it. 02-Jun-2021
Nest, The (2020)
American family encounters alienation when they move to England to satisfy Daddy's whim. Daddy is a financial security risk who thinks that success lays in places not people, momma is stuck climbing a mental hill on repetition, the boy is spooked by his surroundings and the daughter has a knack for loud music, parties and drugs. Jude Law and Carrie Coon lend strength to a script that takes their characters nowhere. 21-May-2021
Cold Creek Manor (2003)
City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Elizabeth Harvest (2018)
Mad genius harvests wife until she gets it right. Ciaran Hinds does as he looks with no surprises. A better intro to Elizabeth's beginnings might have given the character depth because in the present, she's a dope. Carla Gugino wasted her brilliant cream and Matthew Beard creeped me out. The process of thinking is so wasteful. 14-May-2021
A Bucket Of Blood (1959)
It feels like an episode trashed by The Twilight Zone because of extreme creepiness. Mentally unwell busboy works at a grungy cafe that spits art on a loop. It's just high people babbling (poetic readings), white people jazzing and everybody judging. There was a rap essence, pre-ALF jazz, optional shaving, questionable sexuality, men wore beach sandals with suits and the hate was chill. Busboy daddy dreams of becoming one of these assholes. He doesn't know any better. Busboy accidentally stabs a cat in the wall and it lands near his bucket of clay. Voila! Instant art! He brings the hideous sculpture to the cafe and becomes a hit. Voila! Genius art! He is now an asshole. 10-May-2021
Mrs. Winterbourne (1996)
With a confident lead this might have been a cute comedy. 18 year old naif decides that New York is the place for her to establish success. Porn director introduces himself at the train station, impresses her, she moves in, she gets pregnant against his wishes, she doesn't abort and he kicks her out. She ends up in a fancy train to Boston with another pregnant woman and her charming husband. Tragedy happens. She and her child are accidentally mislabeled Winterbournes at the hospital and mother is forcefully marched to the Winterbourne estate to meet the mother and brother of the deceased. The fraud works because they've never met before. Miguel Sandoval was a pleasant contribution as a surrogate father to the boys and a gay butler privy to sex with rough trade. Brendan Fraser was at his prettiest, Shirley MacLaine was at her wittiest but Ricki Lake was a nerf ball. You can throw it around and manipulate it to land somewhere but it doesn't move by itself. Even the makeover was underwhelming. She went from Ricki Lake the actress to Ricki Lake the broadcaster. The baby was excellent. 05-May-2021
Seventh Sign, The (1988)
God was so angry with us in the 80s that he sent seven signs to warn us he was on a path of annihilation and made Demi Moore and her baby carry the burden. If she can fulfill enough of God's contracts she can accomplish the "save the world" prophecies in the bible. Moore's luminescence and chemistry is wasted on shitty creators. A man can protect the world but only a woman can save it. 04-May-2021
Tenant, The (1976)
An unassuming man moves into an apartment that drove a young woman to suicide. He visits the victim at the hospital (for foreign hospitality reasons and to maybe see her suffer?) and becomes obsessed with realizing her history. The neighbors find every reason to make him feel insignificant...he's too noisy, too weird, too private, too sexual and too mentally unwell. The director posted Rosemary's Baby with a shittier budget and himself in the lead. (We are to presume that some other schmuck directed it). The opportunity for a defamed man's self-reflection is a good opportunity for doctors to psychoanalyze him, wrangle the rest and let the people decide. Are the neighbors driving him nuts or was he already nuts? Why is he dressing like a girl? No, that's the girl that jumped out the window. Yes, he drags out and the film continues to crash into WTF Land as he spills nothing about himself except his obsession with precision ... the soft caresses, the whispers, his crippling distrust of socialization, the corners, the lighting, the orchestration, the genius, the illusion of knowing how a child feels and where the bad place ends. A whore is a child unsaved by him. (He aint smarter than his dick, though.) 23-Apr-2021
Can a failed secret affair cause a woman temporary insanity? Sure. The film piles plenty of symptoms and Joan Crawford obsesses about inhabiting all of them. She's haunted, Scream Queen, scared, frightful, conniving, confused, grating, bitchy, mother farcical and "don't fuck with me" Joan. She splits every arc into a different character. It was brilliantly insane but it didn't work. The man that made her brain ache played the piano, was a wordmeister, could fuck and always looked tired. He dumps her on the eve of her first hallucination whilst continuing to remain in each other's lives. He's just as crazy as she is except he's not getting diagnosed because he is not a "woman." After being told countless of times that he would never love her, she marries an old rich bastard to get his goat, he "up yours" her by proposing to her stepdaughter and Ms. Joan has a ball going nuts. Unbelievable psychology and too much genre (drama, horror, mystery, crime, comedy, romance, musical, etc.) deflate it.
(People that are crazy don't know they're crazy.) 14-Apr-2021