Movies Posts Tagged as 'Weird'
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Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019)
Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020
House That Jack Built, The (2018)
A psychologically misconstrued examination of a serial killer. If Lars had written a legible mental frame for Matt Dillon's psycho, the actor would have been highly praised. The script is basic, ignorant and fucked the space out. Von Trier lingers over every kill like it's a piece of art but all is brutal insanity. The length of the movie exhausts and the ending is an early exit regret. 12-Oct-2020
Village Of The Damned (1960)
A small town mysteriously blacks out for several hours. Weeks later, the fertile and virginal become pregnant. The teens are horrified, the wives are wary and the husbands who were not fucking their wives become suicidal. The children are born healthier, smarter, with mind reading and control capabilities and a united unfeeling force. The film doesn't drag itself with science but it contemplates the dread of a parent who has borne an unknown conqueror into the world. The town shuns or avoids them, some try appeasement, others want them locked away and many want them destroyed. The little darlings are the new marshal in town and nobody messes with these unfeeling fuckers. George Sanders provides his "everything makes sense when I do it" persona and is the adoptive father of the children. He wants to understand them and mesh their purpose with earth civilization but his heart and scientific curiosity minimizes their threat. There were occurrences and reactions around the world where the children invaded, were massacred or imprisoned and mothers murdered for defying God that were spoken of but not filmed. Ready made sequels. 05-Oct-2020
Little Girl That Lives Down The Lane, The (1976)
Girl home alone. Dying dad bestows his daughter home security and life skills that would allow her to survive until adulthood. Alexis Smith plays the ultimate Karen whose landlady suspicions arise at a most inconvenient time and whose spats with Miss Jodie are powerhouse. (The slap was everything.) Martin Sheen was so realistically slimy as a predator that I had to imagine it was his spawn's "Charlie character" from Two & Half Men. When you acquire power from self reliance, self love and luck, only the broken and the animals will be able to understand you. Miss Jodie doesn't quiver, exudes superior knowledge, bitches like an equal and demands the respect of a girl who wants to live in the house that daddy paid for. 04-Oct-2020
Other, The (1972)
How does a child born to experience early death cope with it? He is half of a thing that has bested him for eternity, a friend social media would fear and the fault that destroys all that's good in his life. They call themselves twins. The psychology is detailed, the children are nastily disturbing, the family's oblivion is exhausting but the origins of a maniac cracks. That a child can come up with such brilliant kills is horrendous. 02-Oct-2020
Hunt, The (2020)
Liberal climate changers go on a bloody hunt for hillbilly bloggers. The politics are appalling, the cameos are uplifting and the action is hilariously glorious. Betty Gilpin is the wrong southern bitch to mess with. The actress maintains her anger, her snit and her kickassery. The villain kicks it with the same ferocity for the ultimate fight.
(The hair replacements were termination worthy.) 26-Sep-2020
Devil All The Time, The (2020)
The film capitalizes on the idea that a belief in God compels naivete, lechery, sexual compulsion, loss and unforgiving violence. I'm good with that but where is the soul worth saving? Films are now made out of sap or coal. Everybody loves a bitch but they're quick to die in a bubble bath of flames. That's sad. Tom Holland never does wrong and his accent is acceptable, Bill Skarsgard was not allowed to stretch his beautiful bug-eyed wings, Sebastian is now a senior fuckable memory, Harry Melling scared the It out of me and Robert Pattinson head blocked me. His accent and sound was so confusing that I pondered looking up his real voice on Youtube. Different is not necessarily great. Bad Batman villain auditions are in Building 69, building 2 is for serious actors. The women are a form for destruction. God uses them as tools to test the depths of man. It is a well-done play with absolutely no value to offer its audience. 18-Sep-2020
Babysitter, The: Killer Queen (2020)
Everything remembered is welcome, the leap from kid to tween is maternally sweet but the whole is missing something. A foot in reality, a step forward and a babysitter. That's what I missed. 17-Sep-2020
Babysitter, The (2017)
I watched it at its time but I was so smashed that the next day I couldn't remember enough to review it. Puberty boy realizes his carnal urge for queen sex is life-preserving and destructive. Samara Weaving serves Harley Quinn gusto, Robbie Amell is humdinger stripper/killer/rapist, Bella Thorne tears it like a beauty pageant winner, Hana Mae Lee slices and dices and the babies are sweet. The irrational violence is its humor and its perverted violence is its soul. The kills may be cannon but revenge is sweet. 16-Sep-2020
Conversion therapy for bubble-raised souls. The neighbors smile when you don't and hammer shit in you, when you won't. If you don't belong, they break you til you do. I wanted to scream for the protagonist but HOA/Social Media bills were past due. The first pumped me up, the last deflated me a bit but the whole was encouraging. 23-Aug-2020
Power Rangers (2017)
Adding angst and brood to the kid franchise is choking. The teens have troublesome history and are enrapt in familial and environmental chains. Gaining the power of a god will rehabilitate them. Lead boy steals Zac Efron's eyes, Bryan Cranston is imprisoned on a wall when daddy's veracity is letting loose and the most interesting thing Rita (the villain) did was eat a donut. Destruction is a friend but sap is not. 31-Jul-2020
Bubble couple are misled into a hellish suburban child rearing nightmare after house shopping.The setting is rife with panic and exasperation which neither characters or the presentation take advantage of. The characters don't react like real people and the story wants no resolution. Phones don't exist, no one attempts to test the gadgets in the house, time passes and the majors look the same, young "Sheldon" is triumphantly maddening, Eisenberg spends too much time digging and Poots rimming. It's about nothing. 26-Jul-2020
Mask, The (1994)
A movie that succeeds in spite of its inanity. The effects still impress. Jim Carrey's comedic chaos mimic and Cameron Diaz' unflinching bombshell elevate it. 02-Jul-2020
Eurovision Song Contest (2020)
Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.
Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.
Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.
Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.
I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.
The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020
Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.
JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.
It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.
Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)
Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.
Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.
Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020