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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Art Devoid'

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Free Guy (2021) BitesEarly Exit

The premise is too outrageous to describe. Nerd becomes "toxic man" when he meets the inaccessible woman of his dreams. He lives in a game and not. I pondered. Is Ryan Reynolds funnier when the makers convince him it isn't supposed to be funny? Who knows. I accidentally turned on deaf of hearing mode and was perturbed by the narrator describing every fucking single thing that happened. I thought, what an annoying piece of shit then I realized the goof. Oops. I corrected it and fell asleep. I will review it properly later, or not. There wasn't much to like. 28-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Corn, Depressing, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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28-Dec-2021


Old (2021) Whimper

At no point do we believe we are anywhere but in a M Knight nightmare. Occurrences collide so speedily that we don't have time to absorb them. M Knight believes that getting old is life's worst irony but he doesn't explore why. His fear limited him. Women return to screaming, black men are fast-food, disheveled beauty hurts, Bernal's legs are perfect and children fuck. I didn't understand it and didn't want to. It's a free blowjob in a foreign country with too many rules to find release. 14-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Mystery, Timid, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-Dec-2021


Power Of The Dog, The (2021) Whimper

There is no dog in sight. Teen with effeminate ways grabs the attention of the town bully and gets a crush on him. Son is subjected to alpha humiliation that gives him a hard-on which makes mother heartbroken yet keeps boy obsessed with tempting the savage. She marries the bully's brother and moves into the bully's home where he finishes her son off. Cumberbatch has no idea what a cowboy is. He jangles and jingles with exaggerated sounds of the west and comical highwaters but only his butt stood out. His pronunciation of "fatso" held no effect because he didn't know what the fuck it was. It's not a fact, it's a genial insult. His slow drawl compensates for an accent with no attachment to history. He is miscast because the safety of the participants prevails great art. No one is going to take a chance on a toxic male presence for reality's sake. Rick from The Walking Dead would have made a savage cowboy. Jane Campion is obsessed with certain keys of the piano and noises that no one else finds comforting. Kirsten Dunst would have given an award worthy performance if someone had written her one. Her character is scattered and listless. Hiring a tall boy doesn't diminish the film going Brokeback with a child. The film may not consummate it but we're not stupid. Jane Campion spends so much time lingering that the thought is lost. 06-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Inactivity, Preposterous, Relationships, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Too Long, Vague

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06-Dec-2021


Suicide Squad (2020) BitesEarly Exit

Margot Robbie can't queef a joyous Harley, Joel Kinnaman misplaced his acting capabilities and Nathan Fillion can't squish anymore. Pete Davidson came and went, Viola gave it more than it deserved and the whole was obliterated by Cena and his tighty whites. The film has guts. it needs them to deal with an army of superhero ninnies. 02-Nov-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Depressing, Early Exit, Fatigue, Loud, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Violent, Wit Crack, Writer Humiliation

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02-Nov-2021


Raya & The Dragon (2021) WhimperEarly Exit

It wasn't made to include a "boy fantasy." 14-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Animation, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writer Humiliation

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14-Jul-2021


Woman In The Window (2021) Whimper

A cheap thriller receiving attention because an acting powerhouse is in it. Production invited stellar actors to deliver supporting one notes. Why bother? The writers and director are faulted for having no perceptive style and for thinking that hiding and boo is the only adult scare tactic. I would have fired them, handed the camera to Amy and told the actors to wing it. 21-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Good Acting, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Thriller, Timid

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21-May-2021


Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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14-May-2021


Deadly Illusions (2021) Whimper

Kristin Davis helms an asinine parent who hires a vibrant and stainless nanny to temporarily raise her children whilst she finishes her novel. With the children occupied, mama is able to walk the town freely, jump naked in the pool, smoke cigars, drink and get her labia lip smacked by a teenaged nanny. The sex isn't for exploration. It's cold and unimportant because the sex tease is an excuse to keep us interested and fooled. The nanny spends as much time with the kids as the parents. Where the fuck were those kids? Daddy exists to spill his juice and to pantomime what a real man looks like. It all culminates like "Fatal Attraction" trash with old daddy fighting for his life in a shower, wearing only a towel. Embarrassingly funny. 23-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Lesbian, Mystery, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Weird, Wit Crack

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23-Mar-2021


New Mutants, The (2020) Bites

Caged mutants. It stifles their capabilities and our enjoyment. I want to see them conquer the world that is familiar to us. It takes cues from the Freddy Krueger series, ho humming along and invading the lab rats' nightmares. Big Bad is stale and the action needed some throwback. Misplaced hair is my pet peeve. There's loads of it. The lesbians elicited some heart, Sunspot singed some hard-ons and the rest needed something to believe. So did we. 03-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Director Hands Off Approach, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, SciFi, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack

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03-Feb-2021


Mulan (2020) Arf

It's so hellbent on announcing what it is before it becomes that it fails. 29-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Silly, Timid, War

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29-Jan-2021


Fantasy Island (2020) Bites

Michael Pena is not a suave sexy latin charmer. I thought he was going to play Tattoo, running around in a baby cart yelling "the plane, the plane." Maggie Q exuded the elegance of a legend but had no chemistry with her token black family. Lucy Hale, sporting a disconcerting schnauzer cut, was too much. It was a total disrespect of a shitty show that entertained. 12-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Manipulation, Predictable, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky

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12-Jan-2021


We Can Be Heroes (2020) Bites

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Baby Wrecks, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Grating, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Dec-2020


Prom,The (2020) Whimper

When I was in high school I thought white people made up the idea of proms for the purpose of Hollywood entertainment. It wasn't until my 4th year that I noticed a prom announcement on the school bulletin board. Holy crap! Those stupid dances are real. It wasn't part of my culture and no one in my family ever met anyone who went to one. I can't celebrate the idea of adults hijacking a prom to allow a same sex couple to participate. The musical is a whirlwind of gay propoganda. I'm tired of watching gay films that suppress us into political statements. LGBTQ teens are committing suicide at hostile rates because we refuse to acknowledge that our lives suck which means they don't get any answers. Unless we start supplying our babies with ways to cope with their lives there is no celebration. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Comedy, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Manipulation, Musical, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly

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13-Dec-2020


Wolves At The Door (2016) Whimper

The desecration of humanity is unforgiving. In order to conceptualize fact based savagery onto film you have to be a little nuts. The film goes where Tarantino's wouldn't and exploits it. It doesn't feel like the 60s, the ladies never heard of the 60s, the boys are drunks, stoners and stoopids and the killers remained shadowed like Halloween supervillains. Giving an evil character personality does not grant them humanity. It gives us a clue who to run away from. Make it up and make it real. I was a fan of Sharon Tate and I felt her tragedy. When I read "that" book, I experienced haunts and nightmares, forever. How could people be so inhumane? If the writer brings up the question, he and the director need to answer it. If you're going to make it, let your balls hang real low so the audience can cut them. The crew has regular mental health issues but no psychosis or artistry. It's Lifetime violence with '40s flair. The opener sizzled only because nobody makes Miss Jane look stoopid. 19-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Cold, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tacky, Timid

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19-Sep-2020


Beyond White Space (2018) Whimper

The inclination to watch was always interrupted by its gaming inspired poster. It looked like something you would play not watch. Obviously, it's description and my boredom tuned us in.

After decimating earth the next boost for humanity is to fuck up space. Away we go with pirates, thieves, anarchists, loveless, lawless and hopeless. Fun fact: I did not know space had crabs and no gays. The monsters are CGI identified on a two sided coin. The dialogue is full of those chemicals we don't want on our meat, the actors eating corn would have had the same effect and the director/editor stumbled by premeditating everything about to occur. The action sequences are as inspired as a preview before a game that never starts. 28-Aug-2020

Tags: Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, SciFi, Tacky, Timid, Vague

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28-Aug-2020




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