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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Art Devoid'

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Where The Crawdads Sing (2022) Whimper

Entertainment has wrung art dry. The artists are burdened with inciting memories of great historical art and erasing them, lest the audience think they pilfered them to bring a manipulative story to the screen. You can tell the director was probably very cool headed because a household with that much violent disarray would include more horrific things. Marsh girl would have turned out a creature less human instead of a starving foreign exchange student. Daisy Edgar Jones flattens the character by not bringing star charm to a mimicking portrayal. See Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue. Even when they couldn't act, they glowed with excitement and saved a crappy movie. Her ascension to sophistication is questionable. Either her mother had a great wardrobe or girl was doing something besides chucking clams. Also, why didn't she just eat the clams? The owners of the grocery store were inspired by a very special episode of "Little House On The Prairie" featuring the blacks. A little wild girl living all alone in the swamp would attract a lot of perversion. She couldn't read but she picked up on romance real quick. She flew into her "first" kiss. How did she know? What kind of nice daddy was hers before he booked? Why was she surprised to experience Tate Walker's natural findings in the swamp? Wouldn't she have discovered it whilst being the swamp? The crime and the courtroom boredom that follows had me eye rolling. The film is a cheer for womanhood but not art. It's a facsimile. I wanted to feel something. I am a man, after all. The ending knocked it out of the park but so did Harris Dickinson, to no avail. 16-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cold, Crime Drama, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Girlie Movie, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sap, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Nov-2022


Mr. Harrigan's Phone (2022) Bites

The film has the emotional impact of attending a stranger's funeral, the fright of an Easter coloring book and the sense of none. There isn't enough thread to hold the story together. 12-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Director Slouch, Drama, Inactivity, Preposterous, Repetitive, Timid

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12-Oct-2022


Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) Whimper

The dinos are stunning and grandiose, the familiar faces are warm, whatever stole Chris Pratt's mojo ain't giving it back and Bryce Dallas Howard would have stolen the whole shebang had someone written in a Tammy Faye Bakker impression. The movie confirms that in order to save the planet, we must die. (You didn't think we were sacrificing for us or our children, did you?) 11-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Big, Cold, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Fatigue, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt

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11-Oct-2022


King Richard (2021) Whimper

Strict father manipulates the sporting world into driving his daughters to legendary. Working your child like a horse is an investment in greatness if it gains you wealth but a questionable tactic if daddy applies it to chores. Will Smith's Mr. Williams was a hero who broke his daughters' backs, peddled them for attention and talked about tennis, all day long. Yes, his speak was most intolerable. Aunjanue Ellis registered strong heart as a neglected wife. Jehovah's Witnesses don't say god or church. I wasn't allowed to. Interjections of woke history lend it fable qualities. If the women are so great, why is this foolish man speaking for them? 25-Mar-2022

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bio, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Drama, Star Watt, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

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25-Mar-2022


Privilege, The (2022) Bites

Stupid horror flex in another language with cute twinx. Nope. 11-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cliche, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, Fatigue, Foreign, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, SciFi, Silly, Slow, Twinkie, Weird

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11-Feb-2022


Free Guy (2021) BitesEarly Exit

The premise is too outrageous to describe. Nerd becomes "toxic man" when he meets the inaccessible woman of his dreams. He lives in a game and not. I pondered. Is Ryan Reynolds funnier when the makers convince him it isn't supposed to be funny? Who knows. I accidentally turned on deaf of hearing mode and was perturbed by the narrator describing every fucking single thing that happened. I thought, what an annoying piece of shit then I realized the goof. Oops. I corrected it and fell asleep. I will review it properly later, or not. There wasn't much to like. 28-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Corn, Depressing, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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28-Dec-2021


Old (2021) Whimper

At no point do we believe we are anywhere but in a M Knight nightmare. Occurrences collide so speedily that we don't have time to absorb them. M Knight believes that getting old is life's worst irony but he doesn't explore why. His fear limited him. Women return to screaming, black men are fast-food, disheveled beauty hurts, Bernal's legs are perfect and children fuck. I didn't understand it and didn't want to. It's a free blowjob in a foreign country with too many rules to find release. 14-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Mystery, Timid, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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14-Dec-2021


Power Of The Dog, The (2021) Whimper

There is no dog in sight. Teen with effeminate ways grabs the attention of the town bully and gets a crush on him. Son is subjected to alpha humiliation that gives him a hard-on which makes mother heartbroken yet keeps boy obsessed with tempting the savage. She marries the bully's brother and moves into the bully's home where he finishes her son off. Cumberbatch has no idea what a cowboy is. He jangles and jingles with exaggerated sounds of the west and comical highwaters but only his butt stood out. His pronunciation of "fatso" held no effect because he didn't know what the fuck it was. It's not a fact, it's a genial insult. His slow drawl compensates for an accent with no attachment to history. He is miscast because the safety of the participants prevails great art. No one is going to take a chance on a toxic male presence for reality's sake. Rick from The Walking Dead would have made a savage cowboy. Jane Campion is obsessed with certain keys of the piano and noises that no one else finds comforting. Kirsten Dunst would have given an award worthy performance if someone had written her one. Her character is scattered and listless. Hiring a tall boy doesn't diminish the film going Brokeback with a child. The film may not consummate it but we're not stupid. Jane Campion spends so much time lingering that the thought is lost. 06-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Depressing, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Inactivity, Preposterous, Relationships, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Too Long, Vague

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06-Dec-2021


Suicide Squad (2020) BitesEarly Exit

Margot Robbie can't queef a joyous Harley, Joel Kinnaman misplaced his acting capabilities and Nathan Fillion can't squish anymore. Pete Davidson came and went, Viola gave it more than it deserved and the whole was obliterated by Cena and his tighty whites. The film has guts. it needs them to deal with an army of superhero ninnies. 02-Nov-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Depressing, Early Exit, Fatigue, Loud, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Violent, Wit Crack, Writer Humiliation

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02-Nov-2021


Raya & The Dragon (2021) WhimperEarly Exit

It wasn't made to include a "boy fantasy." 14-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Animation, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writer Humiliation

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14-Jul-2021


Woman In The Window (2021) Whimper

A cheap thriller receiving attention because an acting powerhouse is in it. Production invited stellar actors to deliver supporting one notes. Why bother? The writers and director are faulted for having no perceptive style and for thinking that hiding and boo is the only adult scare tactic. I would have fired them, handed the camera to Amy and told the actors to wing it. 21-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Good Acting, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Star Watt, Thriller, Timid

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21-May-2021


Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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14-May-2021


Deadly Illusions (2021) Whimper

Kristin Davis helms an asinine parent who hires a vibrant and stainless nanny to temporarily raise her children whilst she finishes her novel. With the children occupied, mama is able to walk the town freely, jump naked in the pool, smoke cigars, drink and get her labia lip smacked by a teenaged nanny. The sex isn't for exploration. It's cold and unimportant because the sex tease is an excuse to keep us interested and fooled. The nanny spends as much time with the kids as the parents. Where the fuck were those kids? Daddy exists to spill his juice and to pantomime what a real man looks like. It all culminates like "Fatal Attraction" trash with old daddy fighting for his life in a shower, wearing only a towel. Embarrassingly funny. 23-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Lesbian, Mystery, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Weird, Wit Crack

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23-Mar-2021


New Mutants, The (2020) Bites

Caged mutants. It stifles their capabilities and our enjoyment. I want to see them conquer the world that is familiar to us. It takes cues from the Freddy Krueger series, ho humming along and invading the lab rats' nightmares. Big Bad is stale and the action needed some throwback. Misplaced hair is my pet peeve. There's loads of it. The lesbians elicited some heart, Sunspot singed some hard-ons and the rest needed something to believe. So did we. 03-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Director Hands Off Approach, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, SciFi, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack

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03-Feb-2021


Mulan (2020) Arf

It's so hellbent on announcing what it is before it becomes that it fails. 29-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Silly, Timid, War

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29-Jan-2021




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