Movies Posts Tagged as 'Art Devoid'
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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave it home? It opens with a baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. They didn't study their accents. Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Deadly Illusions (2021)
Kristin Davis helms an asinine parent who hires a vibrant and stainless nanny to temporarily raise her children whilst she finishes her novel. With the children occupied, mama is able to walk the town freely, jump naked in the pool, smoke cigars, drink and get her labia lip smacked by a teenaged nanny. The sex isn't for exploration. It's cold and unimportant because the sex tease is an excuse to keep us interested and fooled. The nanny spends as much time with the kids as the parents. Where the fuck were those kids? Daddy exists to spill his juice and to pantomime what a real man looks like. It all culminates like "Fatal Attraction" trash with old daddy fighting for his life in a shower, wearing only a towel. Embarrassingly funny. 23-Mar-2021
New Mutants, The (2020)
Caged mutants. It stifles their capabilities and our enjoyment. I want to see them conquer the world that is familiar to us. It takes cues from the Freddy Krueger series, ho humming along and invading the lab rats' nightmares. Big Bad is stale and the action needed some throwback. Misplaced hair is my pet peeve. There's loads of it. The lesbians elicited some heart, Sunspot singed some hard-ons and the rest needed something to believe. So did we. 03-Feb-2021
It's so hellbent on announcing what it is before it becomes that it fails. 29-Jan-2021
Fantasy Island (2020)
Michael Pena is not a suave sexy latin charmer. I thought he was going to play Tattoo, running around in a baby cart yelling "the plane, the plane." Maggie Q exuded the elegance of a legend but had no chemistry with her token black family. Lucy Hale, sporting a disconcerting schnauzer cut, was too much. It was a total disrespect of a shitty show that entertained. 12-Jan-2021
We Can Be Heroes (2020)
It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020
When I was in high school I thought white people made up the idea of proms for the purpose of Hollywood entertainment. It wasn't until my 4th year that I noticed a prom announcement on the school bulletin board. Holy crap! Those stupid dances are real. It wasn't part of my culture and no one in my family ever met anyone who went to one. I can't celebrate the idea of adults hijacking a prom to allow a same sex couple to participate. The musical is a whirlwind of gay propoganda. I'm tired of watching gay films that suppress us into political statements. LGBTQ teens are committing suicide at hostile rates because we refuse to acknowledge that our lives suck which means they don't get any answers. Unless we start supplying our babies with ways to cope with their lives there is no celebration. 13-Dec-2020
Wolves At The Door (2016)
The desecration of humanity is unforgiving. In order to conceptualize fact based savagery onto film you have to be a little nuts. The film goes where Tarantino's wouldn't and exploits it. It doesn't feel like the 60s, the ladies never heard of the 60s, the boys are drunks, stoners and stoopids and the killers remained shadowed like Halloween supervillains. Giving an evil character personality does not grant them humanity. It gives us a clue who to run away from. Make it up and make it real. I was a fan of Sharon Tate and I felt her tragedy. When I read "that" book, I experienced haunts and nightmares, forever. How could people be so inhumane? If the writer brings up the question, he and the director need to answer it. If you're going to make it, let your balls hang real low so the audience can cut them. The crew has regular mental health issues but no psychosis or artistry. It's Lifetime violence with '40s flair. The opener sizzled only because nobody makes Miss Jane look stoopid. 19-Sep-2020
Beyond White Space (2018)
The inclination to watch was always interrupted by its gaming inspired poster. It looked like something you would play not watch. Obviously, it's description and my boredom tuned us in.
After decimating earth the next boost for humanity is to fuck up space. Away we go with pirates, thieves, anarchists, loveless, lawless and hopeless. Fun fact: I did not know space had crabs and no gays. The monsters are CGI identified on a two sided coin. The dialogue is full of those chemicals we don't want on our meat, the actors eating corn would have had the same effect and the director/editor stumbled by premeditating everything about to occur. The action sequences are as inspired as a preview before a game that never starts. 28-Aug-2020
Cutting Class (1989)
Mental health contamination scours a suburban town with blood splatter. The kills work as an after the fact. Neither Brad Pitt's twink beauty supreme or talent could save it. (I figured out the whodunit by studying the killer's arms and hands to no avail. They ridiculously didn't match.)
Trivia: Hollywood's champion cocksucker is in it too. 18-Jul-2020
Eurovision Song Contest (2020)
Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.
Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.
Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.
Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.
I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.
The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020
Salt And Pepper (1968)
They had the etiquette to name Sammy Davis Jr. Salt and Peter Lawson Pepper but the film scourges the earth with inappropriateness. It's a spin-off of Rat Pack mentality, with loss of cool, unbelievable politics and ridiculous antics. The buddies have built-in chemistry but the premise is bonkers. 29-Jun-2020
Jaws 3 (1983)
The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020
Birds of Prey (2020)
Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020
Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020