Movies Posts Tagged as 'Corn'
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We Can Be Heroes (2020)
It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020
Christmas Project, The (2016)
The adventures of future supremacists as they waft through their own battlefield of family traditions and alpha bullying. The parents are ditzoids driving their children to partake of a Christmas tradition called Elving. You leave presents on the doorsteps of needy/hopeless families everyday until Christmas. The town bullies are on the roster this year. The tween female interest cements hardons and impels macho competitions. She looks 20 while the boys look 8. Reality rarely sneaks in and there is no character to get attached to. I pictured future supremacist twink getting married in prison to his alpha bully supreme as he forever pays black fit homeless grand daddies with raspy voices for some sugar. The kindly school bus driver was black. 25-Dec-2020
A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)
Cindy fends an exploitative Jenner stepmom and abominable Kardashian sisters. The music is cute, the twink prince can break daddy dick and crush virgin vagina and its existence is Christmas cheer. Adorable! 24-Nov-2020
Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017)
Surprise. Eliminating Hank Azaria as Gargamel does not make a Smurf franchise better. Besides being objectified, gangbanged and being a procreator, Smurfette is confused about her purpose. She goes on an unenviable adventure to find herself amid little care from the audience. The best stories do not have big bang adventures. They stay close to home so we can empathize with them. Girl Smurf explores and becomes at Lesbian Forest but returns to Smurf Village for the bangs. Sounds about right. 09-Nov-2020
Alexandre Aja is not a wordmeister. His muscles pop when monster creation plows in, the action roars and we jump. (The flashbacks killed the element of surprise.) 03-Jul-2020
Misunderstanding the mythology of the "pod people" and mishandling how to apply it to this generation. They twinkled it, legitimized it, repeated it and fudged it.
Social Media is our pod and we are its people.
It arrives from a dead planet. An alien-camouflaging organism that can only do so, temporarily with the environment. It needs a human to survive. I know, I know... make Mexicans immune! You want to scare us, don't you? 20-Jun-2020
Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008)
In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020
Meet Wally Sparks (1997)
Illogical silliness for a ferocious one liner. The supporting personalities are TV staples flexing their muscles to bozo comedy. Poor things. 19-Jan-2020
We watch for the shiny new tech (even if it appears unfinished.) 09-Jan-2020
X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019)
McAvoy added a comedian's twirl at the tip of his Xavier accent and Lawrence appears like she's having facials with strangers. Little effort is evident by a cast of talented people. It saps and cheers for itself and it talks too much.
If the film had impressed the combustion that Fassbender and Chastain were percolating, the makers would had made a winner. 24-Nov-2019
How To Be A Latin Lover (2017)
From hunk to chunk. Cliche comedy ease with a different culture. Derbez acquits comedy bravery, Hayek paints with passionate strokes, Taylor and Lavin jolt old ladies upright, Bell resuscitates with sunshine hypocrisy, Lowe institutes and Welch exalts. It's corny and safe, celebrating the importance of family while making us laugh. 11-Nov-2019
Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010)
It delineates the first Santa, full of godlike vengeance and destruction. The film parodies like a summer blockbuster with striking imagery and a cheerleading score. It chugs along, never delivering the titular monster and rabidly tugging at our hearts. 05-Nov-2019
I don't understand why turning from a kid to an adult makes you goofy, especially if the youngster displays no sign of it. The corn and rah almost dismisses its significance but its ease and audacity of violence clinches it. 22-Sep-2019
Dark Tower, The (2017)
Harder to watch than it was to read. 12-Apr-2019
Indiana Jones and The Temple of Doom (1984)
It's excessively restless and exceedingly silly. The heroine is written to annoy which dooms the actress. Spielberg flourishes sporadically exercising comic mean boy violence as well as lost boy corn disorder. 18-Feb-2019