Movies Posts Tagged as 'Corn'
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Snow White (2025)

A film that didn't take advantage of all its possibilities. Though songs that didn't suck were beautifully sung the characters were flat like paper. An elimination of half the songs would have opened space to delve into Snow White and the Queen's relationship. I would have changed fairest and explored kingdom popularity. Gadot's character is doomed the moment the narrator emphasized how evil she was. She was misdirected and stifled when her natural accent would have added mystery to her persona. It also would have freed Gadot. The evil was basic and child's play. My favorite scene from the classic animation was the run through the forest. The 3D effect was mind tripping. A live recreation would have added much needed magic. If you're going to CGI the dwarves why make them ugly? They missed out on likeness and adorability. I would have nixed the "merry men" and concentrated on the ladies, dwarves and huntsman. She could've fallen in love with the huntsman instead of a merry man. Zegler comes alive when she sings but is immobile in expression. She's so intent on conveying a message instead of embodying a legend that she lends her character nothing. The climax disappoints because it doesn't really have one. It goes out with a whimper. I came up with at least 5 grand finales, including having the huntsman kill the Queen with an acquired weapon that is magical because she is invulnerable to everything else. The hope for greatness ballooned and imploded and they didn't know how to put the pieces back together. 29-Jun-2025
Our Little Secret (2024)

Lindsay Lohan made me realize why charismatic actors lose their mojo. Are they uncomfortable and think that everyone is going to judge every word they say? Yes. I want her to flare up again. She's almost there. She needs a challenge. My favorite fairy legend wastes her magic on shitty lines. If the writers have nothing valid for her to say, let her sing. Ian Hardy was a trip. I couldn't place him. He was that cutie asshole that always irked me, for sure. Of course, he was the perverted teacher that dated his underage students on PLL. Every time he smirked he resurrected a part of Norman Bates. The idea that a woman would want to keep that she dated a Darren Stephens the Second type a secret was astonishing. Just because it's fluff doesn't mean we shouldn't try to say something. 02-Dec-2024
Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (2024)

This should have been Barbie's accompaniment. Pink was all over the place and it was the worst case scenario for one of Oppenheimer's lunacies. The humans didn't fair. Hottle outgrew her innocent adorability and couldn't fake it. Dan Stevens never entered the time machine that I sent him. It was to the Abbey so he could find his star watt. Dude used to make ladies melt and men cry. His adaptation of Chris Pratt from Guardians was cartoonish. Even the originator doesn't know where that fucker is. Brian Tyree Henry played a bug-eyed everyday black person spooked by anything except guns. Rebecca Hall's character remained vanilla and pushed aside. The animal kingdom was magical, naturalistic and smelling like planet of the apes. I dig that Karen Black chick. A Kardashian rules the top of the world and Kong's home is the center. Rappers are attacking them. It's an artistic success even though it's fueled by too much human interruption. 09-Jul-2024
80 For Brady (2023)

How elderly women become empowered by idolizing a hot man's physical accomplishment. Wow, maybe football really is gay. 26-Jul-2023
65 (2023)

Dinosaurs are tired, saving a girl that can take care of herself is trope and the science fiction wasn't specifically satisfactory. How many bullets does that one gun have? Why did the girl use all of the bombs? The dinosaurs are typical with little variation. There isn't much more that film can say or do about/to dinosaurs. We know everything. Most action sequences placed me in another's movie with no respect for originality yet it struck as a future cult film. 09-Jul-2023
Another Man's Poison (1951)

Bette's 50s era was full of Lady Davis folklore and drag queen reboots. Lady Davis was forced to compete with herself. A worn out hunk has beef with her husband because he foiled a heist and he's being blamed. Bette is at the height of shifty. She parlays her caricature tics to mixed effects. She is over until somebody fucks with her animal. The feelings reeled a barracuda out of her. The camera decided that Bette's gift was mechanical and that the new way was better. They highlighted her flaws and disheveled her tidiness. The disclosures felt possibly true, Bette's messy art was always entertaining but it's a crappy movie. 10-Apr-2023
Falling For Christmas (2022)

The good news: LL got her mojo back, the bad news: it's a stinker.
Oops, this is the poster for the sequel. 18-Nov-2022
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

The mood is retro energized to soothe us into an 80's coma. There are three sexes applied to Bizarro Chalamet and I can't get over it. Daddy Rudd endured the right cosmetic procedure because he's yummy gay again except he was stupid, useless and shoed. The wall between the generations discouraged charisma amongst the replacements. There was a don't touch me vibe with babies helming a gimmick that keeps the franchise alive but old movie stars resentful. Why do possessed lizards change their outfits willy nilly but man has to suffer in shreds? The first half works because we presume the artist will add a great spin to propel the magic and replace original mistakes. He makes it more of the same. Reitman copies the spins with advanced tech but he doesn't sign off on it. 20-May-2022
Spider-Man No Way Home (2021)

The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022
Free Guy (2021) 

The premise is too outrageous to describe. Nerd becomes "toxic man" when he meets the inaccessible woman of his dreams. He lives in a game and not. I pondered. Is Ryan Reynolds funnier when the makers convince him it isn't supposed to be funny? Who knows. I accidentally turned on deaf of hearing mode and was perturbed by the narrator describing every fucking single thing that happened. I thought, what an annoying piece of shit then I realized the goof. Oops. I corrected it and fell asleep. I will review it properly later, or not. There wasn't much to like. 28-Dec-2021
He's All That (201)

Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021
Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Youngblood Hawke (1964)

Mr. Hawke drives a coal truck by day and writes the great American novel at night. Mother is wracked because that is not the job that's going to get them out of podunk. They're just pretty words. Wrong, witch. NY publishers called to propose a writing career for your son. Away he goes from Kentucky to New York to deal with business cutthroats, empowered Amazons with tender hands to create or deflate and a key to sin city. The men created partnerships but the women were the deal. He's hanging out with the haves. All the women stand demurely in line to take their turn with him. He's a golden pretty boy who didn't sound much like a writer and definitely didn't honk like a truck. James Franciscus held no extra thoughts. A blank page of "pretty as fuck." The ladies ease through the suds, confiding thoughtful sensibilities in spite of corny poetic writing. He's in love with his boss' wife and maybe his editor. He puts one on ice while he sparks fires with the other. Genevieve Page ate dairy/meat to make her hair resplendent. The accent, the manners, the fashion, the IDGAF attitude and her sweet little gay boy allowed me to pleasantly follow her. Unfortunately, the affair repeats itself so much that I'm surprised the writers didn't add "again" to every single "I'm leaving you." Suzanne Pleshette was so adorably female. Hawke's mother's storyline seemed incomplete as did the boy's. Hawke becomes a celebrity victim and gets cancelled for no apparent reason. 25-Apr-2021
War With Grandpa, The (2020)

Spoiled kid starts a war with grandpa when hardship hits the elder and he has to move in with daughter and family. Mom and dad evict boy from his room so grandpa can die in it. The mistake is starting a war at all. Grandpa is too cute for mistreatment. Had the hijinks been pranks instead of combat they would have elicited warm feelings. The adults were jelling and the kids were posting but most of the pranks were classic TV lame. 13-Mar-2021
We Can Be Heroes (2020)

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020