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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Eye Gouge'

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Rock-A-Bye Baby (1958) Woof

Starlet is knocked up by a Mexican bullfighter that she drunkenly married one day and literally died the next. Her career is on the upswing. Her next film is entitled "The White Virgin Of The Nile." With no recourse, she turns to her childhood buddy and hometown slub for help. After a secret birth, she delivers him the babies to babysit while she makes the film. Jerry Lewis' exasperating talent is at half mast. When he lets loose we cringe, when he sings and curls his lip we bite ours. He won't let comedy be. He needs to smash it with babyface spasms and off-color perversity. He doesn't matter one bit. It's a beautiful film to observe. The music is light, the story is sweet and life was simple. Marilyn Maxwell exemplifies the Hollywood Goddesses of her time and the clothes accentuated her power. Connie Stevens was purity enchantment. It's a piece of candy I didn't want but I tried it and couldn't stop eating or talking about it. 20-Dec-2020

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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20-Dec-2020


Jaws 3 (1983) Bites

The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Sequel, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Crack

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22-Jun-2020


Cats (2019) BitesEarly Exit

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director Insanity, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Vague, Weird

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09-May-2020


Aftershock (2012) Bites

The horror is rendered by characterization and the abomination is in how viciously they get treated. It may be novel for a disaster movie but it damages our senses. 04-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Gore, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Preposterous, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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04-Oct-2019


Us (2019) No Moons

When a director can't wrangle a decent performance from two accomplished actresses (Nyong'o and Moss,) he isn't done with his training. The movie makes no sense and it doesn't deserve to breathe on anything resembling art. 15-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

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15-Sep-2019


Halloween (2018) No Moons

Devoid of purpose, study and reverence. The psychology of Laurie Strode was as an empowered victim that elicited strength from catastrophic violence. She's not Sarah Connor and she wouldn't burden a child with her horrid mythology. The holiday wasn't nostalgic and the nods to Hitchcock (who's that?) were extinct. Hallmark movies concoct bigger frights. 08-Feb-2019

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fatigue, Horror, Inactivity, Music Murders, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad, Silly, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Ugly Art, Unenthusiastic, Weird

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08-Feb-2019


Bad Teacher (2011) Bites

So mean that it renders the characters inhuman. 07-Dec-2018

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Corn, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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07-Dec-2018


Confessions of a Pop Performer (1975) Whimper

It's a constant pile-up you can't stop watching. 25-Sep-2018

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Funny, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Music Murders, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Porn, Preposterous, Rapey, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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25-Sep-2018


Call Me By Your Name (2017) Bites

Its insulting in its timing and the delusion that a teenager's "me too" is a right of passage. The disparity in size (Hammer's giant) and childlike looks (Timothee Chalamet) adds unseemliness to its presentation. Hammer distributes much awkwardness and little desire, maybe because he realized the discomfort of its subject.

Man/boy love is tricky if you don't account for its repercussions. It doesn't represent the gay community but it indicates that straits will stick it to anything and that uniting in sex will not absolve our confusion.

I'll call you what my first lover/daddy/asshole called himself..."bugarron." 07-Aug-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Oncer, Preposterous, Tacky, Tedium, Tough, Weird

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07-Aug-2018


Collector, The (2009) Whimper

Schooling for psychopaths on how to execute an ugly death. It's bloody torture. 20-Jun-2018

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Brutal, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fatigue, Gory, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Open Ending, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Scary, Suspense, Tough

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20-Jun-2018


Justice League (2017) Bites

It will continue to embarrass for as long as production is allowed to churn arid cornpop. They can't orchestrate a thrilling action sequence, the costumes don't befit a hero and it certainly doesn't flatter the artists (everyone clunks around) and the villain seems extracted from an outdated RPG. Cavill wakes up to serve us what's left of the Superman character and Amy Adams and Diane Lane are the only Amazons. Most of the artists left their joy elsewhere.

It needs to look at its animation for inspiration. 14-May-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

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14-May-2018


Psycho III (1986) Whimper

Misdiagnosed. 10-Apr-2018

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Crime Drama, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Horror, Over the Top, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, Ugly Art

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10-Apr-2018


Extreme Movie (2008) Bites

It belongs locked in a time capsule. Every teenage boy perversion is enacted without respect or acknowledgement of their desire. It is a catapult of "me too" and a denigration of all sexes. Depicting men and women as competitors in love or sex doesn't bode well for a society hellbent on exposing its normality.

When Matthew Lillard exclaims that he can't say that joke because he has two daughters but continues reading it, the movie and the immature men who made it are slanderously defined. 09-Mar-2018

Tags: 2000s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Rapey, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

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09-Mar-2018


Battlefield Earth (2000) BitesEarly Exit

As soon as Travolta opens his mouth to spit fey Shakespearean New York, the attention-span for the story disappears. While you wait for Travolta to stop putting us on you start noticing that the character's rubber hands bend and lay inappropriately, the Eiffel Tower boots adds clunk and slump to their walk and that their pouches swell at attention. I left before any of it made it to my bloodstream. 21-Dec-2017

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Preposterous, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Weird

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21-Dec-2017


How the Grinch Stole Christmas (2000) Bites

When transcribing a cartoon to live it needs to be cautious not to bolster caricature as it may spark an aneurysm. 09-Nov-2017

Tags: 2000s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Unfunny, Weird

Permalink

09-Nov-2017




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