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Movies Posts Tagged as '1990s'

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Mikey (1992) Howl

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Tags: 1990s, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Hilarious, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Suspense, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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21-Feb-2022


Flubber (1997) Arf

No one should be interested in a man that has left their love waiting at the altar three times. It labels the neglected, a doormat. Robin Williams is the Professor that discovers Flubber. Flubber is a squishy jello substance that appears animal except when it's being materialized as a money making substance. No one dies when hit by a fastball, brains don't get smashed when hit by bowling balls. The film thinks it's funny to apply the same stitches to both. Death is the realistic word. Weebo is a sexy pitched robot that sparks jealousy. Robots and emotions are confusing. We are not of the experienced mind to buy it. Robin is the sad guy who gets left, not the ass clown with regrets. Williams' sweetness permeates, creativity enervates but the story has no gas. 20-Dec-2021

Tags: 1990s, Comedy, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Preposterous, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Dec-2021


Babysitter, The (1995) Arf

Alicia Silverstone's baby's breadth drives all the boys and men to ferocious perverted thoughts. The victim is mildly annoyed and unaware of how struck her admirers are. She ignores all sexual advances and treats them as man/boy quirks that only occur when no one is looking. The male fantasies are an intrusive director ploy but the sentiments are not. Girly is going to get fucked in the end, but by whom. It's half the town. 27-Nov-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Drama, Good Acting, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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27-Nov-2021


Chaplin (1992) Woof

True life tragedy about a genius cancelled after his time. Robert Downey and his perky butt were diligent about homework, the support were accomplished and the answers were illusive. Legends are obsolete without remembrance. 17-Oct-2021

Tags: 1990s, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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17-Oct-2021


Indecent Proposal (1993) Woof

A fairytale can sustain a marriage until someone else's reality makes it true. Men are easily positioned by a punch to the face but a woman is a game worth dying for. A woman cannot be special unless she is hunted and adorned. A billionaire will pay a million dollars to have sex with a loser's beauteous wife. Demi is full watt, totally worth a million dollars. Daddy Redford is an alpha watt hoarding the unattainable by deconstructing it. Harrelson is the cute schmuck torn between love, security, betrayal and insanity. Lyne is a Hallmark backend. It's psychological intuition sometimes gets marred by goop smear but the trio sparks, the music masters, the thought is clear and the atmosphere is bright. 26-Aug-2021

Tags: 1990s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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26-Aug-2021


Edward Scissorhands (1990) Howl

Creature with a grand imagination, magnificent capabilities and childlike inspired nobility is plucked out of isolation so he can partake of suburbia after his inventor dies. Depp's Edward is everything you don't expect. He is joyous and wondrous, living things he always envisioned but never realized and tempted by the evil that is a suburban housewife. Suburbia is welcoming, at first. Kathy Baker is splendiferous as a woman too hot to trot with. Michael Anthony Hall played himself marvelously. Dianne Wiest is a beautiful heart murmur. Alan Arkin schlepped. Vincent Price is a well deserved gay horror queen. Suburbia is where Karens are born, the religious take flight and nature goes to shit. Edward unites the community, becomes a hero but is deflated by a bully. A misconstrued wrongdoing leads to cancellation. He's no longer adorable but Frankenstein. There are plot holes. He eats which means he poops. How does he clean his butt? How does he pee? A hole in a water mattress makes the entire bed drain. Putting a teddy on it doesn't stop it from leaking. If Edward eats food is it necessary for his survival? Does the town receive free giant blocks of ice during the holidays? The inventor created a boy but had difficulty with hands? It doesn't matter. The music is magical, Wynona Ryder did the best by doing the least and Tim Burton is a master of creativity. He creates a place I want to live in, minus the people. I am Edward Scissorhands. 24-Aug-2021

Tags: 1990s, Best in Fantasy, Camp, Chemistry, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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24-Aug-2021


Game, The (1997) Arf

The game is a birthday gift from baby brother. Reclaiming the gift is such a useless bother. The tycoon wastes his time allowing assholes to invade his privacy so he can redeem a ridiculous punchline. The game is not attached to a kink that would make him tolerate it. Douglas growls beyond the script and Deborah Kara Unger bites decisively. Sean Penn's lack of exposure had him masterclassing to appear incoherently different every single time. The game is high grade nonsensical harassment cancellation. 08-Aug-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Mystery, Preposterous, Relationships, Suspense, Timid, Vague, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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08-Aug-2021


Shipwrecked (1990) Woof

Twinkster disinherits himself from family business after father is injured on a boat. He wants to prance around at home and live a gay lifestyle but poverty is on the horizon and evictions are forthcoming. The twinkster becomes a cabin boy and a hero on his way to becoming a man. The mystery is well-plotted and it connects with simple realities. Trials await all who become men and little orphan/stowaway girls have the experience to kick it with them. 16-Jul-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Mystery, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Jul-2021


Child's Play 3 (1991) Arf

Chucky is revived by the manufacturer and a teenage Andy is forced into military school. Chucky takes on the army and wins. A teenaged Andy is too anemic to provide much suspense so the doll turns to black. Chucky is the it and the show. Nothing else matters. Higher blood count and lower common sense. 25-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Drama, Funny, Good Voice Act, Predictable, Preposterous, Timid, Wit Crack

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25-Jun-2021


Child's Play 2 (1990) Woof

This is primo Chucky and Andy. It's ridiculous but hilarious. The parents are knobs being foster parents to a teenage lesbian with survival skills and a traumatic Andy who's mother has been institutionalized for believing in human dolls. Chucky is alive, more expressive and an artistic cunt. The toy factory was it. 24-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Good Voice Act, Hilarious, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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24-Jun-2021


A Perfect Murder (1998) Woof

A perfect cast to incorporate it. Viggo Moretensen of perfect hunkdom and cracked beauty played the lover. He seduced and slithered the pants off of Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow and the audience. I loved it when Michael pulled Viggo's hair. SAF. Someone is having an affair, someone is being betrayed and someone has to die. Lady Goop has fairy essence conjuring ways for us to be comfortable in her diabolical surroundings. Dude, she spoke two languages without an accent and ate pot roast. WTF. She's an alien. Yeah, I'm onboard. Daddy Douglas has gone to battle with a woman before. I presume he's won some. He relished it. It's fun, elegant crime trash done to aplomb and it beats wasting $30.00 on people uglier than me. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Suspense, Thriller, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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02-Jun-2021


Mrs. Winterbourne (1996) Whimper

With a confident lead this might have been a cute comedy. 18 year old naif decides that New York is the place for her to establish success. Porn director introduces himself at the train station, impresses her, she moves in, she gets pregnant against his wishes, she doesn't abort and he kicks her out. She ends up in a fancy train to Boston with another pregnant woman and her charming husband. Tragedy happens. She and her child are accidentally mislabeled Winterbournes at the hospital and mother is forcefully marched to the Winterbourne estate to meet the mother and brother of the deceased. The fraud works because they've never met before. Miguel Sandoval was a pleasant contribution as a surrogate father to the boys and a gay butler privy to sex with rough trade. Brendan Fraser was at his prettiest, Shirley MacLaine was at her wittiest but Ricki Lake was a nerf ball. You can throw it around and manipulate it to land somewhere but it doesn't move by itself. Even the makeover was underwhelming. She went from Ricki Lake the actress to Ricki Lake the broadcaster. The baby was excellent. 05-May-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Preposterous, Relationships, Sap, Star Watt, Sweet, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-May-2021


Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995) Woof

I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Macho Posing, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Revenge, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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26-Apr-2021


101 Dalmations (1996) Woof

I never saw this movie before. I didn't want to. I thought there would be overacting and lots of talking animal buffoonery. Though the human relationship evolves very quickly, the establishment of Cruella de Ville and adorable puppies are right. The actors were pitch perfect facsimiles of the animated classic and Glenn Close knitted some fabulous bits. The doggies have their own storyline and its realistically sweet and adventurous. Top family entertainment whence you teach the kids how to pick up after themselves else they turn their pets into fashion. 20-Apr-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Comedy, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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20-Apr-2021


Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999) Whimper

I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Director Insanity, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Over the Top, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Weird

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02-Feb-2021




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