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Movies Posts Tagged as '2010s'
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It's a horror slasher that believes it shouldn't have to explain why a killer kills. He just does. It's a lack of opinion and a loss for art. A perspective from a person with capabilities would have created a nicer balance. Mask off created no tension or tingles. SPOILER ALERT: It wasn't Brad Pitt. The mask was more effective. All was slasher cohesion with no heart attacks. 20-Dec-2022
An artful relentless mess in which Lord Nicholas takes on religion and splits his asshole kicking its butt. 12-Oct-2022
Infernal ghosts. Mother devastated by the loss of her adult son thinks her new home is invaded by his spirit. Malevolence is underfoot and the whole town is on call. The mythology is a curse with an alloted time that makes little sense. The ghosts need a family to feed off so violence doesn't overwhelm the town. The scares are cool within a limited reality, the actors suffer from too many acting classes and the sense is lost within its limitation. 12-Apr-2022
Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022
Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021
Daddy K suffers tragedy. He loses family members in unison. Frankenstein is the science that can revive them. Our favorite thing about Keanu is his uncomfortable meter. Papi looks uncomfortable and that's great. It makes you want to spit shine his doorknob so he can calm down. Robots don't cut it, emotions don't transfer, I fell asleep, rewound, sobered up and still didn't get it. 08-Nov-2021
An analogy of a woman that must reach the lower depths of hell/sex in order to achieve sainthood is only a thought. The film presents predictably with scares overwhelming thoughts. Writing creates a psychotic brain made of incomplete truths. The savior is full of god cum and icky vibes. She's a frustrated cis, wet by girl action. The saved is full of lesbian venom and privileged wit. 02-Aug-2021
It's based on a historical serial killer but it's not. Boy's disinterest in crime history is tested when he stumbles upon evidence that may incriminate a loved one. A teen investigation ensues. Obvious clues don't allow the mystery to spring forward. The family does not generate enough emotion to evoke compassion. There is no new imagination. Are we supposed to act like we don't know who the killer is? It's directed that way. Charlie Plummer pulled away at the proximity of Dylan McDermott. That would have been useful for some guttural acting but no one thought of it. Dylan mocks his character and has no idea how to preach about God. We're cheering for a family that sucks and a film that associates cross dressing with psychos. 19-Jun-2021
Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021
Black and asian youngsters form an unlikely bond during a bukkake video performance. Black man can't climax until the soft whispers of an asian stranger help him out. Voila. Friends forever that will reach the heights of success by becoming the Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker of porn. Mope Tucker and Mope Chan are not impressive beings, they both have little dicks, are victims of whiteness (they don't know how to act black or asian) and they slurp while eating vagina. They can, however, take a swift kick to the balls, eat shit, drink piss and wipe it from the floor. A mope. Tucker wants to expand the brand and put them on display. "The first men on the cover of a porn box." Nathan Stewart expends every last nerve as a man clinging to the last piece of matter that keeps him grounded to an environment that isn't homeless. These parasites keep him sane and fucking. The boys with grand dreams become Steve Driver and Tom Dong. The friendship suffers from favoritism, jealousy and betrayal. Gangbanging the girlfriend tore a nerve, racist remarks cracked a spot, and the cameos hit their marks. It's cheapness adds to its' value. It smells like porn, your feet stick to the floor and the prettiest thing in the room is the popcorn machine. It's a true cis story that would translate well as a gay "great American novel." The guy incinerated from Bridgerton could play the smelly gay guy. 05-Jun-2021
Mad genius harvests wife until she gets it right. Ciaran Hinds does as he looks with no surprises. A better intro to Elizabeth's beginnings might have given the character depth because in the present, she's a dope. Carla Gugino wasted her brilliant cream and Matthew Beard creeped me out. The process of thinking is so wasteful. 14-May-2021
Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021
Pleasantries are spoiled by disappointments. It parodies all fairytales then drenches them with honey. Wilmer Valderrama is drawn like a long faced witch with big dick attitude and no substance. The brides are Godzilla stupid but the music is nice and the singing is delightful. Long-faced cartoons are not charming. 05-Apr-2021
Dying rich old fart with regrets decides to enroll in a new experiment where they transfer your brain onto Ryan Reynolds body. The director doesn't allow the old man to play with himself as soon as he's alone as Reynolds. Bummer. It's a grim and bumpy ride. I thought the ending was sweet but I wish I hadn't seen it coming halfway in. Not worth the bullets or the destruction. 09-Mar-2021
They don't know fancy they just emulate it. The trio has swag, is interracially charismatic and have the cojones of steel. They made me laugh, spin, adore and cheer them. Boys surviving through primal instinct. Take it or leave it that's what boys are. 04-Mar-2021
