The film needed a script doctor. The younglings have endured enough ugly world to be acting like babies. They turned Dr. Strange into a goofball with quips. They took away Spider-man's scathing witticisms and replaced them with awkward and cute. Electro is only as good as his paycheck and its effect. Sandman shook. Dock Ock was a fond memory. The boys came back, all grown up, giving us the feels. I wish Aunt May had not given a shit. She had no backbone. The younglings were greater than their material. They needed a drip of Willem Dafoe to stay great because they looked exhausted. Tech was brilliant comic book magic served on a flying carpet. 02-May-2022

Interracial girl struggles with her identity as a negro. Her career options are minimal and love opportunities arise from worst circumstances. God made her white and she needs to embrace it. She leaves her family and hut to explore buildings, money, pretty men, clothes, food and such. She ignores her nature and becomes the body she possesses, a woman with great choices and big mistakes. A Ken Doll makes her forget where she was born and she forgets about her family. The film has anger, insight, respect and hilarity. My favorite scene happens at a fancy business event where she dances like a black girl and the white guests notice. 28-Apr-2022

Ann-Margret plays a girl who advances in the fashion industry because of hard work and drop dead gorgeousness. Father and son heads offer her the opportunity to become a Paris buyer when the original gets married. Father and son dispute her capabilities but acknowledge that beauty can surpass it. Louis Jordan is the Paris client with sexual arrangements to the previous buyer. There is little proof that Margret's character impresses at her job because she spends most of her time in Paris, drinking, partying, flirting, dancing, singing and clobbering boys who want to go further than a kiss. The most beautiful boy in the world, Chad Everett, the hottest tongue in France, Louis Jordan and the slub who accepts leftovers, Richard Crenna, are the men vying for Lady Margret's baby's breath. Ann's character is written with confused sensibilities. She riles the men up then 2x4s them later. She wants to live a fantasy without all that icky stuff, like sex. The ex-buyer getting married on short notice without telling her french lover/client gets no clarification. Edie Adams was unfortunately a short lived thing disrespected in the film's best storyline. Margret dolled up in fashion chic and hit the dance floor to Count Bassie and Mongo Santamaria like a sexual beast. Edits and choreography are a mess but Lady Margret's magnitude never lets up. The fashion is creative, the only laughs are violent, the idea that a girl becomes a woman if she gets married is primitive, when men exclaim that a girl is too young to fuck, they mean right now. 26-Apr-2022

When Almodovar embraces Hitchcockian ambience it is sublime but when he attempts a Spielbergian signature it deprives the film of a punch. Two mothers, both strangers share a common thread that conflicts with their lives. Even though the outcome is easy to determine, the presentation is a shivering buildup. Penelope Cruz maintains her hold until Almodovar gives up. Her mother doesn't crumble as the film's psychology implies. She wraps it up without a challenge. The ending is part Schindler's List and part Indiana Jones/Jurassic Park. I welcome a latin Spielberg inspiration with cheeky heroes and dinosaurs but I can't forgive a spanish mother that doesn't wreck. A spanish mother is the T-Rex of emotion. 23-Apr-2022

Kurosawa's imagining of Macbeth was intoxicating. He lingered until we felt the character's desperation. The background was still and intimidating. The actors wore silent film faces with impassioned speak. Toshiro Mifune was a beast royale as MacBeth. Isuzu Yamada was fabulously haunting as his Lady. The rustle of her dress, the scary predictions, the make-up and bouts of violent madness. She was a favorite thing. Deaths were choreographed with coherent math and geography. Inspiration is achieved but masterpiece recreation is impossible because the best things in it happened by accident. 28-Mar-2022

Oops. Laurie and Mike are not the brother and sister alluded to in Halloween 2. It was a myth and a modern waste of a great arc. 21-Mar-2022

Child's emotions are awakened when she experiences Leak Week. A family curse has her turning into a fuzzy red panda that transforms her life and liberates her loins. She's becoming a woman. The family wants to keep the hairy beast on the downlow but children can't be remote controlled. The child keeps it padded with the support of friends and the hope to attend a concert of sex gods (a boy band.) The film is fresh, the music is sprite and the art is gorgeous. 20-Mar-2022

A scary Christmas tree disrupts the holiday of a royal court by suggesting a game. The tree will sacrifice its life if the hero taking it, returns the kindness a year later. The bastard son who has only been acknowledged this Christmas, volunteers. He becomes a celebrated knight who downed a beast that will eventually down him but is enjoying the best year of his life. The fairytale has no significance. Magic appears without explanation. The voyage is gorgeously dull. The director casts some beautiful shadows and illuminates good acting but confirming that all mistakes in life repeat themselves is depressing. 16-Mar-2022

Like Batman I focused on a minor detail that should have gotten someone fired and the picture burnt. Ms. Crawford's leg looks beat up. Is it make-up? Is it black nail polish? Did she fall down a flight of stairs? Are those surgery scars? Is that why she's sitting? Was she secretly dirty? It looks awful. 14-Mar-2022

Blindman wants to remain a dot, raising a stolen daughter, being stealthy and 100% sexless when it should be the opposite. Pervert! The child gets to choose the lesser of two evils. That's not fair. We get to know who the asshole is before the mystery begins. The clues to existence are ludicrous. Daddy's fun, kid has moments, all is a statement of life insecurity, terror and failure. The violence is pretty good. 12-Mar-2022

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Hordas are turning confused souls into killers. Hordas are hard to describe. They are ghostly, invisible, well-spoken, manipulating, manly and turn your eyes green before possessing you to avenge their thirst. Vincent Price is a magistrate trying to rehabilitate a killer Horda being legally beheaded because of incriminating evidence. The killer confesses to murder but not being himself. His eyes turn green and threatens a Horda curse. Price fights for his life and accidentally kills him. Price becomes distraught. Things at home are out of place and he's having Venom type conversations with a Horda that lost its home. Counseling convinces him to leave law and punishment and return to sculpting. His first love before his wife and child died. A married goldigger entices Mr. Price to model for him. The bitch that tried to steal Darrin Stephens from Samantha is the model. As soon as she sniffs how affordability can accommodate luxury, her panties wet faster than his clay and her "hot" "poor" husband becomes a blur. The green eye effect is hilarious. It's someone flashing a green light on the actor's eyes and being effective if they never move. They move. They're actors! It's a niche. Gay daddy clinches his part and makes us imagine the rest. "I imagined what kind of gay sex Mr. Price preferred. He definitely smoked like a bandit but I didn't smell much ass action." 16-Feb-2022

A talented cast is assembled to remake a classic remade too many times with bigger bluster. A downfall of blockbusters but not of little films. They can sneak in some truth without being punished. It's a parody that attempts to bring circumstances, thoughts and decisions to the shenanigans. Idina has grade A moments in song and in soul sharing. Billy brought his showmanship. The prince passed the "inferno" test with a flip and a voice. We waited for Minnie Driver to awake and when it happens, it is fitting. 007 hits his marks like a gunslinger. Cabello looks like a waitress from different eras in all of her guises but she can sing, act, charm and have fun. I had fun. It belongs to a future cult. 13-Feb-2022

Depressing portrait of a princess devoured by gilt-edged politics. Kristen Stewart captures the legend's facade but her inner Diana is caged, whispers a lot, distinguishes her esses and is prone to accelerating her lines so we can't understand what she's saying. CC helped. The film doesn't explore past "she's nuts," "she's sick," "they're all out to get her," and she's getting a bucket of blood dumped on her head. It's haunting to think that we apply greatness to a being with no personal significance. 10-Feb-2022